Chapter 34

Shea~

I was so furious that I didn't even know what to do with myself. All I'd wanted to do was help Keagan, and Noah had taken away the only gift that I had to give people. I was a nurse, nothing more. I wasn't changing the world by creating life-changing drugs, I wasn't leaving a mark on humanity by creating technology for world betterment, nor was I raising my voice to lift people towards something better. All I knew how to do was help people medically, and Noah had robbed me of that because our marriage would always be about Noah and what he wanted.

After coming upstairs, I'd taken another shower, doing my best to let the hot water wash away how I'd done the unthinkable and had killed two people. While I understood self-defense, and while I understood that no one would blame me for what I'd done, logic wasn't helping me right now. I wasn't a killer, but I wondered how many people I was going to have to kill just to stay alive. Noah could say whatever he wanted, but that didn't change the glaring facts here. Either he wanted me dead, or else he couldn't keep me safe, and I didn't want to live like that.

When I heard a knock on the door, I turned from the window, surprised that anyone would come knocking on the bedroom door, knowing that Noah would just barge in because he had no respect for my privacy or boundaries.

I quickly reached for the robe again, though I was dressed. When I'd gotten out of the shower, I had decided to leave my auburn hair down to dry naturally, then had thrown on a pair of cut-off cotton sweats and a white tank-top. I hadn't bothered with a bra because I didn't really need one. Still, I had no idea who was on the other side of the door, so I chose modesty over Noah yelling at me for showing off what wasn't much of my tits.

When I finally had the robed secured comfortably around me, I called out, "Come in."

My eyes widened when a stunning raven-haired beauty walked through the door, her green eyes bright and wide, making her look like a doll. To say that she was beautiful was an understatement, and if there was ever an argument against Noah preferring blondes, then this woman was it.

"Hi," she said, giving me a warm smile as she shut the door behind her. "I'm Keavy O'Brien, Declan's wife."

Jesus fucking Christ.

My hands tightened around the lapels of my robe. "Mrs. O'Brien-"

"Oh, go on with that," she chided, waving her hand at me. "Call me Keavy, please."

"I don't think that's such a good idea," I blurted. "I'm pretty sure that The O'Brien wouldn't like it."

"The O'Brien will get over it," she snorted dismissively. "Do you mind if I sit?"

I shook my head as Keavy took a seat on the rocking chair in the corner of the room. The piece had been beautifully designed, and I knew that it had been placed in here for decorative purposes only, but there was no way in hell that I was going to tell The O'Brien's wife that she couldn't sit in it. In fact, she could destroy every piece of furniture in this room, and I wouldn't utter a goddamn word to stop her.

Once she got comfortable, I asked, "May I ask why you're here?"

"Declan and Noah are taking care of the mess downstairs," she said conversationally. "When Noah called me to ask me if I'd mind keeping you company, I came right over, though it made Declan's accent come out."

That got my attention. "What do you mean?" I asked as I took a seat on the bed, facing her.

Keavy grinned, and she really had a spectacular beauty about her. "His accent only comes out when he's angry or extremely irritated," she answered, surprising me.

"Really?"

She nodded. "Yeah, it took me a bit to catch on, but it's really quite useful when I'm trying to gauge his mood."

"Noah's accent fades in and out also," I told her.

"Noah's accent comes out when he's being sarcastic," she informed me. "That's how you know that he's running low on patience."

"It's condescending," I replied, remembering the first time that I'd ever heard it.

"They're all condescending," she quipped. "In case you haven't noticed, the whole lot of them are very…alphaesque." She grinned. "Lots of people like to call it toxic masculinity, but I think it's hot as hell when Declan gets all growly on me."

Despite my current circumstances, I smiled. "Like strong men, do you?"

Keavy shrugged. "I like Declan," she corrected. "However, since I'm not a weak woman, strong men don't intimidate me."

I winced.

"Wow…that's kind of harsh," I replied, trying to defend women in general.

Grinning, she said, "Okay…well, since I'm not a weak person , strong people don't intimidate me."

"Life's not always so black and white like that," I said, suddenly feeling very inferior to the beautiful woman.

"No, it's not," she agreed. "I was lucky enough to be raised by a man that taught me how to value myself above all others, so I'm not like most people. While I love Declan with all my heart, I'll never love him more than I love myself." She shrugged again. "And if he loves me like he says he does, then I'll never have to choose."

"Noah claims that he loves me," I told her, having no one else to talk to about this. "However, it's hard to believe with his people continuously trying to kill me as a favor to him."

"Shea, I'm going to be very blunt with you," she said, and I could feel the pit of my stomach begin to churn uncomfortably. "Noah Murphy doesn't need anyone to kill you for him. If he really wanted you dead, then your parents would be placing flowers on your grave as we speak."

"Not if he made a deal with The O'Brien," I pointed out.

"Shea, those two men are thicker than thieves," she said. "Why do you think that Noah is Declan's second-in-command over his own brothers? If Noah wanted you gone, Declan would support him fully. Their family bond is tighter than what anyone could imagine."

"I wish that I could believe that," I replied softly.

"Which is why I'm here," she announced boldly.

"Meaning?" I asked warily.

"Your husband called me to ask me if I could take you out to the cabin and give you some pointers on how to shoot and defend yourself, even if you have to defend yourself against him one day," she said, making my brows shoot upward in shock. "Now, with Declan being off in the head a bit, I'll only be able to train you for a few weeks before I'm forced to rest, but since it's because I'm pregnant, Declan gets a pass on this one."

"Congratulations," I blurted.

"Don't congratulate me yet," she snorted. "I think me and Declan are going to fail at this whole parenting thing, to be honest. Luckily, his mother is an absolute doll, and my sisters-in-law seem to know what they're doing, should I need any advice."

I couldn't help but laugh at her candidness. "Well, it's always wise to know one's limitations."

"Yeah, it is," she sighed. "At any rate, since you don't feel safe with Noah yet, I'm here to make sure that you don't need to. Nothing is more empowering than being able to protect yourself, trust me on that one."

"It's more than just…I know it sounds crazy, but this is about more than just the attempts on my life," I told her. "I…I feel like my entire life is out of control, and Noah…Noah is the…the tornado that keeps sweeping through everything that I've ever known, destroying it all."

"I know that you might not believe me, but I understand exactly how you feel," she said. "Declan's courtship wasn't exactly a traditional one, so I get it. I really do."

"How do you handle being married to someone so…"

"Larger than life?"

I nodded. "Yeah, larger than life."

"I'm not going to lie and say that it's not a constant struggle, because it is," she answered honestly. "However, Declan's authentic. So, the way that he fights with me is every bit as genuine as the way that he makes love to me, so there isn't a second of the day when Declan isn't showing me just how much he cares about me. So, how can I not put up with his bullshit when he loves me to distraction like that?"

I barked out a laugh. "That sounds like a perfect anniversary card."

Keavy grinned. "Look, I can't tell you how to handle Noah because he and The O'Brien are two very different people, but I can tell you that Noah is not a liar, and if he's telling you that he loves you, it's because he does."

"Honestly, I don't know which scenario is worse," I muttered tiredly. "Loving me or not loving me."

"Both scenarios are equally terrifying, my friend," she replied somberly. "Trust me, I know."