Chapter 14

Shea~

I couldn't remember ever feeling so goddamn exhausted, and that was rather remarkable when you considered my job. However, it was already one in the morning, and I had to get up early to take care of all the things that were my life now. I needed to finish packing up my condo, clean out the refrigerator, throw out my two plants, and then set up enough rodent traps for the vacancy. While I lived in a good building, critters always managed to find themselves living comfortably in empty spaces.

So, even if I didn't hate Noah Murphy with every fiber of my being, I really didn't have time for his shit. My life was no longer my own, and I needed to adjust, or else I was going to end up in some basement somewhere, wishing that I hadn't been so goddamn stubborn.

"I'll make you a deal, lass," he offered, his words exhausting me more if that was possible.

"What kind of deal?"

"Give me what I want, and then I'll let you have what you want," he answered.

I couldn't help myself.

I let out a dark laugh as I said, "I don't know any blondes with hour-glass figures, Mr. Murphy. The best I can do for you is a nurse that works swing shift at Donza, but I'm not sure if her chest size will be as appealing to you as what you're used to. However, she is blonde and single."

He looked like he wanted to snap my neck again, but instead of killing me where I stood, he said, "I want you to call me Noah. You're my wife, not my employee, Shea."

"That's debatable," I shot back.

"Feckin' Christ, lass," he bit out, and his accent hit me between my legs like all stupid women.

"I'm tired," I repeated. "I just want to go to bed."

"Quit calling me Mr. Murphy, and then I'll let you go to bed and keep your job," he countered, but he was lying. Men like Noah Murphy didn't compromise.

"Let me go to bed or let me go to sleep?" I asked pointedly.

"Bed," he answered honestly, proving me right.

Though I was tired, the pressure behind my eyes was for another reason entirely this time. Even though I knew what was expected of me as his wife, whether I hated him or not, no woman wanted to sign up for pity fucks or obligatory sex. I wasn't in this for a paycheck, status, or revenge, so it was hard to just look the other way when I knew that I was the complete opposite of what turned my husband on. Nevertheless, I knew that I had no choice. Noah was going to want children one day, so what difference did it make if I gave in now or later?

"Fine," I said, resigned to the facts. "Let me take a shower and-"

"No shower," he said, surprising me.

"I've been up since eight in the morning yesterday," I pointed out.

"Ye donna say, lass," he drawled out, and it was easy to identify the sarcasm behind his accent.

"Are you serious right now?"

He stepped towards me until he was standing directly in front of me again, then grabbed my chin in his fingers. "When you finally allow me to put my lips on your skin, I want to taste you," he said, sending an unwanted shiver down my spine. "I want to know your personal flavor, not what brand of soap you use, lass."

It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him that my flavor was brunette with unimpressive breasts, but what would be the point? I was always going to be just the woman to give him his children, and random blondes were always going to be the women to give him pleasure. While it made me sick to my stomach, I could only hope that he was responsible enough to wear protection.

"Fine," I said, repeating my earlier lack of enthusiasm.

Noah let go of my chin, but instead of lecturing me on my bad manners, he just gestured towards my bedroom, encouraging me to lead the way. I knew that I should be pissed that he had invaded my personal space, but I was just too tired to care at this point. Plus, snooping around my condo seemed minor compared to what he was about to do to me. For the first time in my life, I was going to have sex with a man that I didn't want to, and it left me feeling disgusted with myself because I still found myself attracted to him when I shouldn't.

When we got to my bedroom, almost everything looked the same, but the place felt different. It was like I knew that it wasn't going to be my home anymore, so I almost felt like a visitor. It was that hotel room feeling that you got, no matter how comfortable the beds were or how good the room service was.

When I turned to face Noah, I was standing next to the bed on the right side, and he was standing at the foot of it, waiting for my next move. It seemed rather ridiculous, but since what we were about to do had nothing to do with genuine affection, I figured there was no need to ease into it.

I started to remove my jacket as I toed off my shoes, and no matter how comfortable the footwear, taking them off at the end of the day was always a welcomed relief. I used my feet to remove my socks, then reached for my waistband to push down my scrubs. When I was done kicking them from my legs, I looked up to see Noah's turquoise gaze eyeing me intently, and I'd be worried if I'd had the energy.

As I reached for the comforter to pull it back, Noah's voice stopped me. "What are you doing?"

I stopped to look his way. "What do you mean? I'm getting into bed."

"I'm talking about your top," he answered. "Why's it still on?"

Pride had my spine snapping straight. "There's nothing there, so I don't see the point in taking it off," I said, refusing to let him pick apart my self-esteem more than he'd already had.

"Then what's da plan, lass?" he asked. "Ta neva let me see ye naked?"

"What for?" I asked, and not to be difficult this time. I was genuinely curious as to why he'd want to see me naked when nothing I had would appeal to him.

"You're my wife, Shea," he said, his accent gone again.

"I still don't see what that has to do with anything," I replied seriously.

"Take it off," he ordered, instead of telling me why.

With as much dignity as I could muster, I grabbed the hem of my top, then whipped it over my head, leaving me in just my bra and non-matching panties, and I'd never been so hyper-aware of every flaw on my body as I did right now.

My heart started slamming against my ribcage as Noah began making his way over to me, and I should never have turned on the lights. Had I known that he was going to insist on making this as humiliating as possible, then I would have just bent myself over the back of the couch when I had agreed to this level of insanity.

Doing my best to try to get through this without throwing myself out the window afterwards, I asked, "Can you at least turn off the lights?"

"No," he answered coldly.

Before I could embarrass myself more, Noah reached around my back to unsnap my bra, and heat raced up my face as he slid the straps down my arms to let the lacey garment fall to the floor. Blood rushed through my ears, and there was no way that Noah couldn't hear how hard my heart was beating inside my chest. I felt my pulse beating painfully everywhere, and I could only hope that he didn't want to do this often.

Then my heart felt like it was going to stop altogether when Noah reached for the waistband of my panties, then pushed them down over my hips, assisting them over my thighs until they were a puddle at my feet. I wasn't sure if I should be angry or mortified that I was standing before him completely naked while he was still fully clothed, but it wasn't important to identify what I was feeling when it wasn't going to make a difference in the end anyway.

"Get on the bed, baby," he ordered, and I hated how hypnotizing he sounded as he tried to seduce me. "Lay across it and over the blankets."

Noah wasn't going to let me hide anywhere, and I honestly didn't know how many more hits my self-esteem could take. My hand automatically pressed against my stomach when it occurred to me that he was probably going to be imagining some stunning blonde from his past just to get through this, and if I could kill Declan O'Brien for wanting my family's business enough to put me through this, then I would.

However, since I couldn't kill him or get out of this, I did what Noah had instructed. I sat on the bed, then scooted my ass across the comforter until I was comfortable enough to lay down. As soon as my head dropped on the mattress, I felt Noah's hands wrap around my ankles, then pull my ass to the edge of the bed.

I wanted to cry.

I wanted to scream.

I wanted to disappear.

Noah was going to start with the one thing that most women never got enough of, and because fate was cruel, I had no doubt that he was going to be phenomenal at it. In fact, he was probably going to be so phenomenal at it that I might just forget how much I hated him.