Chapter 7

SEVEN

ALEXA

Iwake to the heavy rain pounding against my window.

As I turn to my side, my entire body aches with a dull pain, causing me to cringe while trying to get comfortable. My mouth is parched, making it hard to swallow.

There’s a bottle of water beside my bed. Unscrewing the top, I almost finish the entire bottle, then follow with an unflattering rasp.

My head is pounding. Needing relief before it becomes an unwanted migraine, I try once again to sit up to be able to open my bedside drawer to find anything. My hands rumble in a mess, only to see the Ibuprofen sitting amongst my other random things.

“It’s because you’re pregnant and can’t take certain medications like Ibuprofen.”

The insides of my stomach curl, initiating a wave of nausea. I lean over, barely making the trash can to vomit profusely inside it. All I have inside of me is water, so at least it’s not food which is more bearable.

Shallow breaths expel from my mouth as reality knocks into me like a wrecking ball.

I’m pregnant with Hunter’s baby.

And he’s having a baby with his wife.

There is no escaping the nightmare I’m living unless I do the unthinkable.

But I refuse to go down that road again. I’m not seventeen and pregnant in my senior year with my boyfriend. This is not a teen pregnancy. I’m almost twenty-one, studying in college and working casually at a clothing store downtown just for some extra cash.

I’m an adult, and there is no excuse for what I have done.

Yeah, except I was stupid and thought I was invincible.

Whatever decision I make, I have to be able to live with it for the rest of my life.

Given I’m still grieving my past decisions, the answer is crystal clear. At least, it should be.

My heart begs to differ.

If I kept the baby, what role would Hunter have in my life? I can’t exactly envision him being a father. Also, how fucked up would it be for my kid to be competing with his and Kathy’s child.

I never want my child to be second best.

All this thinking hurts my head, and the migraine is just around the corner unless I do something drastic to stop it.

I’m forced to head out to the drugstore to get some painkillers safe for pregnancy which means I need to shower. After a long shower which I almost fall asleep in, I throw on my sweats and head a block over to the drugstore.

My stomach makes an unflattering grumbling sound while standing at the checkout. It’s so loud the man before me turns rudely. After I pay for my items, I quickly grab a wrap next door since I haven’t eaten since lunchtime yesterday. Thank God I passed the damn stones. It wasn’t pleasant, but according to the nurse, they were rather small compared to others she had seen.

Back in my dorm, I manage a few small bites before feeling queasy. I contemplate calling Beau since I haven’t heard from him, but I know he was angry. He loathes Hunter, never one to hold back his opinion of him.

And once again, I feel completely alone in this big world, supposedly surrounded by family and love.

My phone buzzes beside me. Mom’s name flashes on the screen at the same time my stomach flips.

“Hey, Mom.”

“Alexa, are you feeling okay? Addy mentioned only this morning you weren’t well when she had brunch with you two weeks ago. Honestly, I don’t know why you girls can’t update me in real-time.”

“Actually.” I clear my throat. “It turned out to be kidney stones, just like Addy said. I went to the ER yesterday afternoon and came home late last night.”

“Alexandra!” she shouts, forcing me to close my eyes, knowing she’ll give me a lecture any moment now. “Why on Earth didn’t you call us?”

“It happened really fast. I passed the stones, then they sent me home, and I crashed. It’s okay, Mom. Beau was with me.”

“And Beau didn’t think to call us?”

“I think he freaked out. The whole passing stones thing. You know how guys are.”

“But you’re okay?”

“Just tired, that’s all. Glad it’s over.”

“The next time anything at all happens, I need you to call me, you understand?”

“Mom, I’m an adult. I have to learn to take care of myself.”

Yeah, and soon I’ll be taking care of a baby too. The reminder sends a wave of panic throughout me, but I do my best not to let Mom hear it in my voice.

“You’re still my daughter. The same rule applies to all of you girls. I don’t care how old any of you are. I will always worry.”

“I get it, Mom,” I barely whisper.

“Is there anything else wrong? You were quiet at the party, and I’m sorry for getting drunk and not having brunch.”

A small chuckle escapes me. “Mom, you weren’t just drunk. You were drunk drunk. Poor Dad.”

“I know. It must have been the nostalgia of the club or something.”

I scrunch up my nose. “Ew, Mom. Please don’t. You know everyone knows the story about you and Dad in the club hooking up.”

“How I’m not in jail for killing Eric with my bare hands is beyond me.”

We laugh in unison. “You know what, Mom? You’ve lived a wonderful life, and I guess your adventures with Dad are what led you here.”

“My adventures, as you like to put it, led to Amelia which then led to the rest of you girls.” I can hear the pride in her voice. “I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

“So worth all the drama and heartache at the beginning?”

“Alexa, life will always have its ups and downs. We’re often tested, and we make mistakes. Those mistakes sometimes lead to the best things in life. Not always, but they do. In my case, they did.”

“I’ve got years. I guess…” I trail off, knowing now is not the right time to tell Mom.

I need time.

But time will soon run out. I glance down at what still appears to be a flat stomach. My boobs have grown, which I thought was because of all the junk I’ve been eating.

As I look into the mirror, dark circles shadow my eyes. Even my cheeks look gaunt, leaving me pale and sickly. Thank God Mom hasn’t seen me looking like this, or she’d freak out.

The hardest part of keeping this a secret is not being able to rely on the one person who knew. I sent Beau a text, but he simply said he needed time to process it all.

So, I let him process.

He wasn’t in classes, and somehow managed to avoid me just like he had after we slept together. I wasn’t going to push him, not now when my emotions are all over the place.

All I could do was focus on studying. I had no plan, not knowing where even to start. Two weeks passed, and my body started to change. The swell in my stomach started to form. To most people, they would assume I’m just bloated, but to me, I couldn’t stop examining myself.

This time feels completely different. It’s almost like I’ve bonded with the baby even though I haven’t felt it move. The first time I fell pregnant, I just wanted it all to go away, not really thinking about the consequences.

There were so many things I needed to think of, like visiting the obstetrician and doing the scans. I still have no idea how far along I am.

I decided to book an appointment, and surprisingly, they had a cancellation late this afternoon. It worked out well, given I didn’t have a class. Just as if the universe was trying to help me.

The nerves overcome me as I sit inside the waiting area and fill out a form. There’s another woman in the waiting area, though her stomach is massive. I overhear a conversation with the receptionist, apparently, it’s twins.

That wasn’t the stressful part. It’s knowing she is having twins but also mother to what looks like two toddler-aged kids playing beside her. There is a double stroller near where they play, so it’s safe to say maybe they are twins.

Dear God, please don’t let that ever happen to me.

When the obstetrician calls me in, I take a seat and nervously fiddle with the fray in my jeans.

“Miss Edwards, I’m Doctor Callahan. So, I believe you’re pregnant, but you don’t know how far along you are. Is that correct?”

I nod, keeping my mouth shut.

She glances at the chart, reading with a smile. “I see you’re a student at NYU?”

“Yes. I enrolled late.”

“Better late than never,” she adds, keeping her expression warm. “How about we see what’s going on, then discuss your options.”

“What options?” I blurt out. “I’m keeping the baby. I can’t go through a termination again.”

Dr. Callahan tilts her head, observing me quietly, then stands up to move toward the bed. She motions for me to join her, instructing me to lie on the bed and push my jeans slightly below my hips.

She turns the machine on, then rubs a lubricant just below my belly button before she presses this little white device around my uterus area.

Finally, she stops and points to the screen.

“You see the little bean shape on the screen? That’s your baby.”

I focus my gaze, only spotting it once she moves her finger closer to point it out. My eyes stare in disbelief, wondering how this little bean will turn into a baby. Then, she presses a button, and sound blares over the speaker.

“The heartbeat,” she adds with a grin. “Perfect for ten weeks.”

“Ten weeks?”

“Yes, you’re almost past your first trimester.”

All of this is surreal. The baby on the screen, the heartbeat echoing in the room. My chest feels tight, but an odd feeling like it’s ready to burst with something wonderful.

“I take it by your earlier concern you’ve chosen to keep the child?”

“Yes,” I confirm while expelling a breath.

“It’s just my job to ensure you’re informed of all your options given your age.”

“I know. I’m young.”

“Yes, you are. Many men and women go on to be wonderful parents despite their young age.”

I turn to face her. “I’m not with the father. In fact, he doesn’t know. Do you think that’s bad? Actually, let me paint the whole picture. He is having a baby with another woman, his wife. He told me they weren’t together. I know, I’m the idiot.”

Dr. Callahan remains quiet, then cleans me up so I can take a seat back at her desk.

“I’m gathering your parents don’t know?”

I shake my head.

“Miss Edwards, it’s far from me to have an opinion on anyone’s personal life. Sometimes, we find ourselves in certain situations and make mistakes. But the greatest gifts in life can often come from this.”

I manage a small laugh. “My mom said the same thing.”

“Smart woman.” Dr. Callahan grins. “I’ll give you a list of things to do, plan, and read up on. In the meantime, take care of yourself, and please schedule your next appointment. It’s always important to ensure you attend regular checkups so we can ensure both you and the baby are well.”

“I will do that,” I tell her as I stand up. “Dr. Callahan? Thank you for letting me vent. It’s just been hard keeping this to myself.”

“Not much longer now. Before you know it, you won’t be able to hide your belly anymore.”

According to Beau’s roommate Joel, he’s been crashing at his parent’s house. So, it made sense I would hunt him down because enough is enough. I gave him time to process, weeks in fact, but being the stubborn egotistical man he is, he’s still avoiding me like I’ll go away for good.

At first, I felt bad and gave him space. Now, I’m like, grow up. Yeah, I’m pregnant to another man, and nothing will change that. We need to talk, so of course, I’m going to ambush him where he least expects it.

Rocky lets me in, informing me Beau is inside the media room. I thank him before heading down the hall and turning left toward the room.

My hand reaches out to open the door, all the while taking a deep breath to remain calm.

I find him lying across the sofa, on his phone, even though the movie is blaring inside the room.

Grabbing the remote, I turn the volume down, which catches his attention. The minute he sees me, his eyes widen in disbelief. Then he turns away like a petulant child.

“You can’t ignore me. I’m right here.”

“Try me,” he drags.

I throw my hands up in the air in frustration. “Will you stop being a selfish prick and think about me for a second? Have you ever thought about how hard it is to go through this alone? To not have your best friend by your side because he’s too busy screwing every girl on campus.”

“It’s not every girl…”

“Well, I hope you get your dick checked and don’t catch a disease!”

Beau sits up to look at me with burning eyes. “How very rich of you to lecture me on sleeping around. Like, you give a shit, Alexa. You’ve never cared. I was only good for revenge, and even then, you were probably thinking about him the whole time.”

“You asshole,” I bellow.

“But hey, now you have something to remind you of him every single day for the rest of your life.”

“That’s a low blow, even for you,” I argue back.

“Yeah, well, it’s the truth.”

He sits back in the lounge, grabbing his phone to ignore me. I stand here, shocked and in silence over his callous words. Maybe, it’s time to give up. End our friendship because I’m sick of fighting over the same things. I’ve come to realize his jealousy over Hunter will unlikely go away anytime soon. Not when the baby will arrive in six months, and there’s a good chance it might not even look like me.

“I guess we’re done. Goodbye, Beau.”

I leave the room to quietly exit the apartment as I don’t want to speak to Rocky or Nikki, worried I’ll let the cat out of the bag. The fact that I haven’t told my parents or sisters is a miracle. Ava still blows up my phone like crazy. Lying to her has been challenging but necessary at this point.

Pressing the button on the wall, I wait with a heavy heart for the elevator to arrive. When the door pings open, I slowly enter and press for the lobby. The doors begin to close, but then all of a sudden, they spring back open.

Beau’s hand pushes the door.

“I’m sorry, okay? I’m a jerk, and you have every right to be angry at me.”

I cross my arms, gazing at him with my lips pressed shut.

“You are a jerk. And I am angry at you. But I miss you, okay? I know I’m not who you wanted me to be. I’m like those vintage records you buy from second-hand stores. You hoped you found a gold mine, but you play it, and it’s scratched. Broken is more like it. Unable to play the song.”

A smirk graces Beau’s lips as he leans against the door. “That is by far the worst analogy you’ve ever had.”

“Nah, remember once when I compared a donut to making love?”

Beau chuckles. “You said it was soft on the inside, sweet on the outside, and at the end, your hands were left sticky.”

I laugh with him. “I have no clue how I adult sometimes.”

“Me neither,” he agrees, then gazes into my eyes. “I miss you too.”

My arms reach out to wrap them around him. Inside his embrace, the smell of his cologne brings me back home. It stirs so many emotions in me, and ones I didn’t realize even existed.

“So, do you have a date with some girl tonight, or are you free to watch a bad movie with me and prank call Eric?”

He rubs his chin, then pulls me out of the elevator.

“My parents are flying to The Bahamas tonight. We have the place all to ourselves. Bad movie and prank calling it is.”

“Great.” I grin, rubbing my hands. “Because I’ve got the best telemarketing scam I’ve been waiting to use on Eric forever…”