Chapter 1

ONE

ALEXA

Negative.

My eyes stare at the one blue line in disbelief. Inside my chest, my heart has come to a complete standstill, stopping my ability to breathe as if someone has their hands wrapped around my neck, strangling me to the point of no return.

You’re not pregnant with Hunter’s baby. Repeat. Everything is okay.

The words replay in my head, my brain telling me everything is fine. Yet, my body is delayed and continues to stare in shock. The chokehold has been debilitating since my calendar prompted me of my late cycle. I blamed myself for being so stupid the night with Beau and ripping out my contraceptive, thinking it was no big deal. Of course, it was a big fucking deal. I’d been through so much trauma to make such a careless move. Imagine me, pregnant with an older man’s baby.

A man who I mistakenly fell for, only to be used in his sick and twisted game against my father.

The next day, I paid for it when the alcohol wore off, and the pain became unbearable. At the time, I could only take painkillers to avoid seeing a doctor and explain my stupidity while on a bender. Though, surely, doctors have seen far worse.

It’s just when I’m with Beau, I don’t think, just act. Being in his presence makes me way too comfortable, and that’s not necessarily a good thing.

An unflattering gasp leaves my mouth as I begin to breathe again. Leaning back into my chair, I close my eyes to give myself a moment to collect myself. Going through this scare has been emotionally draining. One whole week of waiting for a period, or any sign of pregnancy, until my mind drove me crazy, and testing would put an end to the madness consuming me.

According to some research I’d done, it’s not unusual to have no bleeding or a screwed-up cycle while coming off birth control.

This is just my body being a little bitch and paying me back for treating it like trash.

My phone rings, startling me as I clasp my chest to calm down.

“Ava,” I answer rushed. “Now is not the time.”

“He’s inside you?”

“Who’s inside me?”

“I dunno, whoever is there, which is why now is not a good time.”

I exhale loudly, purposely relaying my annoyance. “I’m not sleeping with anyone, okay. I’ve sworn off men.”

Ava laughs obnoxiously. “Sure, and I’ve sworn off shoes.”

“I’m serious. What’s the point of enrolling in college to study if I’m too busy worrying about relationships and stuff? I want to graduate.”

“You can still graduate and have sex,” Ava drags. “Honestly, Alexa. It’s not one or the other. You can still become whatever you want to be and have fun. Has Dad told you no men?”

A sigh escapes me. “No, Dad has been incredibly supportive. I don’t want to disappoint him.”

“Um, am I talking to THE Alexa Edwards? Miss won’t listen to the parentals and travels around Europe to avoid college only to wind up sleeping with her boss, besties step daddy.”

“April is not my bestie,” I mention quietly. “I’ve been avoiding her because I have no idea what to say.”

“Trust me, avoiding her will bite you in the ass one day.”

“How? The only people who knew I was sleeping with Hunter were our family. Oh, and Beau. Hunter wouldn’t have breathed a word to anyone.”

“Speaking of Hunter. Any word?”

I shake my head even though she can’t see. “No.”

“Good,” Ava says firmly. “Who needs a hot, rich guy, anyway?”

A small smile rests on my lips, but it’s followed by a slight pang inside my chest. “It hasn’t been easy, just so you know.”

“I know. No matter how much we spin it in our head it was just sex, there’s always something more, and admitting it feels like…” Ava trails off, then continues, “… I don’t know, like wrong or something.”

She says the words I never wanted to admit. Whatever Hunter and I had consumed me. I miss him and hate to even admit it. When things ended with Cole, it was different. It hurt, but I was much younger. Cole was always by my side. Then suddenly, I was all alone trying to navigate through high school without the boyfriend I’d relied on for most of my senior year.

With Hunter, we were forced to live separate lives, so no one knew what was going on though when we were together, it felt right. When the world wasn’t watching us, we could be ourselves without limits, especially in the bedroom. He is, or should I say was, insatiable.

And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss the multiple orgasms and the way his simple touch ignited something inside me every time. The way he would stare into my eyes just before he came made me feel like I held power between us at that very moment.

Ava was still rambling even though I was lost in thought and only caught the end of what she was saying.

“So, Eric will be there to style you.”

“Okay,” I mumble, only to realize I have no idea what I just agreed to. “Wait, why is Eric styling me?”

“Oh, for the love of God, did you listen to anything I just said?” Ava questions with a condescending tone. “Nikki is turning, the big—”

“You’re not supposed to talk about it, and nobody is,” I warn her.

“So, you did listen? Nikki looks hot for her age though I can’t say going to a club is age appropriate.”

“Was this Rocky’s plan? Because it screams him.”

“It’s Dad’s club,” Ava informs me. “Anyways, you need to look hot, too, since you’re on the market.”

“You make me sound like I’m a piece of real estate,” I groan.

“Yeah.” Ava chuckles. “Everyone wants to come in your front door.”

“Okay, I’m done with you. Bye.”

I hang up without a care in the world, then lean back into the chair to catch a glimpse of the pregnancy test.

Somewhere up there, someone is watching over me. My posture falls as I rub my face to rid myself of the emotional anguish. I never told Ava because I needed to process this without her questions, opinion, or advice. Luckily, there is no need to ever breathe a word of this.

The nightmare is officially over.

My phone pings but this time with a text.

Beau

I bet you’re studying, geek. You know, hot nerd chicks are so in right now. You’re just missing glasses and a ruler that says, ‘spank me, daddy.’

My lips curve upward as I quickly text him back.

Me

The word ‘daddy’ is so unnecessary, not to mention gross. Is that what your string of bimbos call you?

Beau

We’ve talked about this. I’m a reformed man. Bimbo, lose the s.

I dial his number, too lazy to text. He picks up immediately.

“You’re wasting my time trying to convince me you’re settling down,” I tell him.

“Whoa,” he begins with, and even though I can’t see him, I can envision his grin. “No one talked about settling down. Don’t go spreading rumors which might ruin my reputation.”

There’s a knock on my dorm door, so I grab my phone to open the door, only to see Beau and his smirk on the other side.

I hit end call, then shove his chest in annoyance, unable to hide my smile. Like most days, he’s wearing one of his basketball tees with a pair of sweats and sneakers. Unlike me, I’m still in my bed shorts and a tank even though it’s midday.

Beau glances at me, then slowly draws his gaze to my chest and boxers.

“Nice legs, Edwards. Maybe I had the whole nerd label all wrong.”

He throws himself onto my bed as I close the door.

“I was studying, thank you very much. Why are you here anyway? Don’t you have something on with some friends?”

“I do,” he says, turning to his side and resting on his elbow. “But I wanted to make sure you were still alive, given you’ve blown off three parties this week.”

Quick to defend myself, I point toward my books. “Um, in case you haven’t noticed, I have a lot to catch up on.”

Beau’s eyes shift onto my books, but then he slowly moves to sit up. He stands up in silence as I watch on with curiosity, only for him to walk to my desk and grab the pregnancy test.

Shit. You idiot.

“What the hell is this?”

“It’s not what you think.”

He tilts his head with his mouth pressed tight into a white slash. His forehead’s veins become more prominent as his anger is revealed.

“I think it’s a pregnancy test,” he responds in a raised voice. “Who the hell are you fucking?”

I keep quiet, unsure how to explain things even though it’s all irrelevant since the test is negative.

“Alexa, don’t tell me you’re still seeing him.”

“I’m not!”

“Jesus fucking Christ. So, what the hell is this?”

“Look, I was late, okay? I did it just to make sure. It’s negative. End of story and drop the subject.”

His knuckles turn white as he grips tighter on the stick.

“Drop the subject? Is this why you haven’t been out? Worrying if you’re pregnant to some guy who treated you like you were nothing and is trying to ruin your father?”

I cross my arms in defiance. “God, Beau. It’s none of your business! Stop being a selfish prick. I’m not pregnant. Now, either get over it and move on or leave.”

The moment the words leave my mouth, my body shakes, and I begin to cry. Argh, not now, not in front of him.

Beau runs his hand through his hair, then tosses the test in the trash can under my desk.

“I’m sorry,” he says in a low voice. “Come here.”

My feet move on their own accord as he wraps his arms around me. With my face buried into his chest, the scent of his shirt calms me down. Inside his arms, I feel safe from the world and everything it throws at me. Maybe, in hindsight, I should have told him and not spent the last week in hell.

“I was terrified,” I whisper, clutching onto his shirt. “Of losing my family.”

“You’ll never lose your family. Lex and Charlie will always be there for you. Why doesn’t that sink into your thick head?” he gently scolds.

“I don’t know. Youngest kid syndrome, I guess.”

Beau pulls away, so our eyes lock. “We’re going out this weekend. I won’t take no for an answer. You need to forget the stupid test and have fun.”

I manage a small smile. “Are you afraid of ending up with two girls in your bed again? One which you questioned was an actual girl?”

He purses his lips but then follows with a smirk. “They were both girls, okay. I don’t know where you heard that from. Besides, I’m thinking of backing away from the field for now. You know, be a good boy.”

My eyes widen in shock. “No way! Your poor hand.”

Beau places his hand on the top of my boxers to flick the elastic against my skin. The simple tease makes my stomach flutter, but then I remember it’s just him, and I’ve also sworn off men.

“Don’t sass me. You’ll pay for it.”

“You’re a tease, Romano. Besides, I’ve sworn off men, too.”

“Good,” he responds with a proud smile. “Concentrate on studying.”

“Geez, you sound more like my dad every day,” I inform him. My eyes glance at the clock beside my bed. Shit, I need to be in class soon. “I need to get changed for class.”

“Go ahead.” He grins.

“Without you watching, loser. Now, get out, and I’ll see you after class.”

I push him out the door, but he stops, turning around with a playful smile.

“I’ll need material, you know, for my one-on-one time with my hand. Promise, I’ll be quiet.”

“Nice try. Trust me, I’ve got nothing you want to see. Judging by your history in your phone, I lack many of the physical qualities you seem to enjoy watching.”

His eyes widen in disbelief. “You went through my phone?”

“Yes,” I admit, scrunching my face. “But in my defense, you were passed out, and I was bored. Plus, I had fun texting one of your hussies back. Boy, is she gullible?”

“Alexa Edwards,” he grits, shaking his head. “You are the bane of my existence.”

I lift my hand and caress his cheek with a pout. “Yeah, but you still love me, right?”

His stare suddenly changes, the playfulness in his expression changing to one of angst. At least, that’s how his stare feels.

“I’ll always love you, Alexa,” he says in a low voice. “You’re family.”

The sudden change in demeanor makes me uncomfortable, so I think of something to say to break whatever this tension is between us.

“Okay, Daddy.”

Beau drops his gaze, then lifts it with a chuckle. “I need to teach you the right way to use it.”

“So, not the right way?” I tease.

He moves in, closing the already small gap between us.

“Trust me, when used right, you know you’re having the best sex of your life.”

I swallow the lump which has found itself lodged inside my throat. Say something. Stop this awkward silence right now.

Suddenly, I stick out my pinky finger, forcing him to wrap his around mine.

“I’m swearing off men right now, and you should do the same.”

“Sure, I’ll swear off, men.”

I glance at him in annoyance. “Swear off sex. Deal?”

“Alexa… I don’t know—”

“Deal?” I repeat my question.

Beau lets out a defeated sigh, squeezing my pinky tighter. “Deal.”