21. Joker

Chapter 21

Joker

"What time do you have to be at campus tomorrow?" I ask her as I cut another piece of steak and dip it into the barbecue sauce I ordered. My girl doesn't like steak sauce. She's a sucker for good barbecue sauce, though. I saw the shock on her face when I asked for them to bring some to our table. I'm pretty sure it sent her into shock, because she's not argued with me once—not even when I began hand feeding her.

"Early. I need to be there by seven-thirty in the morning. You don't have to worry, though. I can take myself?—"

"I'll be driving you. Once you're finished, we can start heading back to Kentucky. It will probably take us a bit. There's still heavy rain pounding the area. I checked in with Raze last night. He said they were already experiencing flooding in the area."

"That's even more reason for me to stay here," I grumble.

"You know better. A lockdown means all families and old ladies are locked down in the compound and guarded. You're in both those categories now, Peaches. I'm getting you home where I can make sure you're safe and not have to worry about the two of us getting ambushed."

"I don't want any more steak, Torin. This thing is huge."

"Are you saying you don't like your meat big? Because, baby, that could be a problem."

"Oh my God!" she gasps, her cheeks flooding with color. "You are nuts." The woman is so flustered that I can't help but laugh.

"You need a couple more bites of baked potato, Peaches. You will need your strength for all the fun we're going to have over the next few days."

"I'm really not that hungry. Plus, you ordered dessert. I might be curvier than most of the women you're used to, but even I can't eat this much food in one sitting."

"Stop. You will never compare yourself to another woman again."

"I wasn't?—"

"I've fucked around, Skylar. I'm not hiding that. I didn't get around as much as the club members and girls made it seem, however—especially not in the last three years."

"Don't lie to me, Torin. If you really are serious about the two of us trying to?—"

"There's no trying. You and I are going to make this work. Now, open and eat a bite of potato. It's a vegetable. It's good for you."

She giggles, holding her hand to her mouth as she takes the bite of her melted cheese covered potato from my fork. "Did you really just say that?" she responds right after swallowing down the gooey goodness.

"What? They are good for you."

"Okay, I know you like being in control and shit, but?—"

"And you like it, Peaches. Don't bother denying it."

"I like parts of it," she mumbles, her cheeks darkening once more.

"You'll like every part eventually," I hum.

"The point is," she stresses, "I am not the girl who will ever call you daddy."

"Skylar—"

"So, stop with the parental shit about how my vegetables are good for me. It's creepy, to be honest. I'm not now nor have I ever looked for another parental figure in my life. I have parents. That's not even remotely why I'm attracted to you. If anything, this whole ‘ Eat, It's good for you ' crap is a deterrent. It's right up there with you trying to pretend you're not a man-whore."

"I'm not pretending anything. I fucked around a lot. It sucks to admit, but I tried to fuck you out of my system, Peaches."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better? Hell, am I even supposed to believe that?"

"How didn't I know you curse like a sailor?" I respond with a smirk, wondering just how much I can poke her until she loses control.

"Because you never bothered to get to know me at all," she responds.

I can hear the pain in her voice. Fun and games are off the table now. I can't allow her to think she never mattered. It takes some maneuvering, but I get her in my lap. I put a hand on each side of her face and force her to look at me.

"I know you took your first step at ten months. I know your first word wasn't mom or dad. It was Dragon—a fact your father still gets pissed off about. I know you're a closet country music fan, which drives your brother and sister insane. You dig some lame ass Parker dude the most and buy all of his music even though you already get that shit for free on Apple Music."

"Torin—"

"Just saying, Peaches, I won't be listening to that shit with you."

"I don't understand," she whispers. Her eyes are bright with unshed tears, but I don't let go of her. I make sure she can't turn away and that she's forced to look at me.

"Your favorite color is burnt sienna, which woman, is just plain orange to me?—"

"It's darker than just orange," she whispers, her voice thick with emotion.

My heart squeezes in my chest as a tear falls from the corner of her eye. I lean in and kiss it. The salty wet drop coats my lips. I can't stand to see her hurt. I never could. It used to eat me alive, knowing I caused her pain. Fuck, it still does. It will take me a lifetime to make it up to her, but I'm going to spend every day from here on out doing exactly that.

"I know you want four kids and a midcentury modern home."

"How …"

"I've spent three years grieving the fact that I could never be the man to give you what you wanted. Three fucking long years, Peaches. Yes, you were young, but you were right. I would have stepped up after you turned nineteen. Hell, as bad as I wanted you, I probably would have caved at eighteen."

"Then, why? I don't understand any of this. Does this mean you really were afraid of my family? Or worse, you chose the club over me. That's it, isn't it, Torin? You didn't want them to kick you out, so you chose being a member of the club over being with me."

"Jesus, you think so highly of me, don't you?"

"How else am I supposed to think? You act like an ass to me for three years. You come storming into Swank and again, treat me like a kid who has no feelings. Then, you see one guy flirt with me and figure out someone besides you might have a chance to share my bed, and decide to go all caveman?—"

"Skylar—"

"You follow me back inside the club and make me come right there in front of everyone and act as if that puts some kind of claim on me. It doesn't, Torin. None of this does. I don't know how to trust you. You say you've wanted me for three years. Well, you knew I've always wanted you. You would have to be stupid not to know that I've always been in love with you. Yet, that didn't stop you from sticking your dick in any woman coming or going with tits that were more than a B-cup."

"Skylar—" I repeat, but she doesn't let me finish.

"You see, I've learned a lot about you over the years, too, Torin. For instance, I know you prefer big tits and curves over flat chests and skinny. I know you prefer your women to be waxed or shaved. No jungle bushes for the man-whore of the Savage Brothers MC."

"What the fuck?—"

"I know your favorite position is from behind. You like to tag team on occasion with a buddy, but your favorite is being double teamed by two women. Sometimes, if you're feeling extra confident, you'll even take on three. You prefer blondes, but you'll mix it up. You're known to be very bossy in bed and if a woman doesn't do what you like, you'll spank them until they beg you for more." I hold my head down and pinch the bridge of my nose. I can feel a headache forming at the base of my skull. This wasn't how I saw tonight going. With a sigh, I push Skylar gently from my lap, then I stand up. "Sure, run away, Torin," she yells.

I ignore the faces watching us since my woman has been laying into me rather loudly and the whole restaurant is staring. They're not important to me, but I'll be damned if I'm going to allow Skylar to keep this shit in her head and hurl it at me like poison ever again. Maybe I deserve some of it. Most likely, I do. Still, she doesn't get to use it as a wall between us. I told her there was no going back, and I meant it. The past is the past, and it's time I make that clear.

I push our dishes back on the table, ignoring the mess that creates. Next, I pick Skylar up and set her ass on the tabletop. "You sure you want to have this out here, Peaches?" I growl.

"Asshole," she exhales, crossing her arms on her chest.

"I get you being pissed that I fucked around while you nursed a broken heart. I'm guilty of that, absolutely. I've owned up to it. What you don't understand is that I was nursing the same fucking thing, Peaches. I ached for you, and I knew that there was no way I could have you. You were too damn young, baby. No matter how much you and I wanted it to be different, it was still true."

"You could have waited for me," she mutters, refusing to look at me.

I put my hand on her chin and pull her face up, needing eye contact with her. "Maybe I would have if I thought for one minute that there was a shot in hell for us. I didn't, Skylar. I couldn't see any way it would work out for us back then."

"You didn't try to find one, either."

"You're right. You are absolutely right. I didn't because I'm not that man, baby."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm not the man good things happen to. I've been on my own most of my life. I fell into the club life, and it fit me. That's the most luck I've ever had. Good things, happiness … they don't happen to me."

"Torin—"

"And you, Peaches? You're everything that's good. You are way out of my league. I'll never be able to be the man you deserve."

"That's just bullshit, and you know it. If you're going to break someone's heart, at least be man enough to own up to it."

"It's not bullshit. It's the God's honest truth. You're going to be a damn doctor. What could you want with a man like me?"

"Everything!" she snaps. "I wanted everything. Mom's a doctor. Jesus, do you even know how my parents met? I never once looked at you and saw anything other than the man I wanted for my own."

I growl under my breath. Standing fully, I reach over, picking Skylar up and throwing her over my shoulder. "What are you doing?" she screeches.

"I'm going to take you back to the club and find something to put in that damn mouth of yours that will keep you from yelling at me."

"You can try it, but I'll bite it off if you do," she threatens.

I have no doubt the woman would do it either. She already had me icing my junk once. It's clear that I'm not going to win my woman back easily. She's going to fight me tooth and nail. I should probably warn her I love a challenge and she's just given me the biggest one I've ever had to face.

"Challenge accepted, Peaches," I respond. She has no idea I'm talking to myself more than to her. I'm not giving up. She will not be able to push me away. I'm not giving her up. I'll fight anyone to keep her—even if that means fighting Skylar herself.

My woman will find out that I'm more than up for the challenge.