19. Skylar

Chapter 19

Skylar

"Are we hiding out today?" Trudy laughs.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I bluff. Unfortunately, she doesn't fall for it. I mean, I knew she wouldn't, but I had hoped.

"Liar," she snorts.

"I'm just not ready to deal with him right now," I admit. "My thoughts about Torin are kind of a mess. I've been more or less in love with him since I was seventeen. I finally let him go, decide to go on with my life, and he shows up and acts like he's claiming me."

"I didn't really see an act, honey. The man put Debbie in her place and you're even wearing his cut today."

"Because he made me," I grumble. "Damn man wouldn't let me leave the room if I didn't wear it."

"See!"

"No, Trudy. I don't see anything. I still have no idea how Torin truly feels about me. I honestly think he's just reacting out of jealousy."

"Jealousy?"

"Skull's boy, Carlos, basically let me know he was interested in me—so much that he even told my family. He did it in front of Torin, and I think Torin got jealous."

"Isn't that a good thing? I mean, you care about him. I would think knowing he doesn't want another man to touch you is reassuring."

"Jealousy isn't love, Trudy."

"Honey, love intensifies jealousy in certain men. Joker is a lot like my old man. Hell, all these men are."

I can't help scoffing at her response. There's no way I'm going to believe that Torin loves me. No way in hell. I immediately shake my head. "C'mon, Trudy. You're dreaming. I've made it clear for three years that I was his for the taking. Instead, he spent his time being the Savage Brothers' biggest man-whore. He had his favorite twinkies in not just one state, but three. So, nope . I'm not buying that love thing at all. Lust? Yeah, I could see that. It's the only emotion that Torin recognizes for a woman. In the end, I'm no different from what Debbie was to him."

"Bullshit."

"I'm serious. I just find it weird that after three years, Torin, all at once, has decided he wants me. I'm still the same person, Trudy. You know that. I haven't changed. So, this one-eighty by him is just impossible to trust."

"Let me ask you one question, baby doll, and I want an honest answer from you."

"I'm always honest. That's why I annoy Thea and Mattie," I mutter.

"I don't know Thea, but I have met Breaker?—"

"She's like my brother, just doesn't bleed the MC life. I mean, she has Dom now and they're happy. She's going to be more like Mom when it comes to being an old lady, though. She's knocked up and happy. Thea may go by the club and put bitches in their place if she needs to, because now that she has Dom as hers, she will not give that up. Still, she's not going to embrace the life completely. She never has."

"You'll embrace it all, but I think you're wrong. It's not your honesty that annoys your family. The problem arises from the fact you're blunt as hell."

"That's who I am. I call people on their bullshit. I always have. Mom swears I was born with an old soul because I've never acted as young as I am."

"That's why you'll be a fantastic biker babe."

"Whatever," I respond, shaking my head. "Ask your question, and I will give you my blunt as hell answer."

"You're accepted here because you've let your defenses down and just let it all hang out. Do you do that in Kentucky? I watched Torin's reaction last night. He had no idea how tight you were with the club. He was shocked as hell at times. It was written all over his face."

I think about everything Trudy just said, and I sigh. "I'm rarely at the club. Dad and Mattie didn't want me to be part of it when I was younger. After Torin basically rejected me and told me it would never happen on my eighteenth birthday, I stopped going around the club much at all. I still don't."

"So, I'm right. Torin has never seen the real you?" she asks.

"I mean, Trudy, I'm always me."

"Don't hand me that bullshit. I'm talking about the you that you don't allow yourself to be around your big brother or Bull. Does he have any idea that you've approached Wheeler about being the club doctor for our pack when you've finished school?"

"Well, I plan on opening my own practice too, you know," I grumble.

"Yes, but we both know that you being the club doctor is huge. It requires things that aren't exactly on the up and up."

I shrug. It's not a conversation that needs to be had. We both know how the club life works. I've always known what I wanted. I may study to be a doctor because my mother is one and I want to make her proud, but there are other reasons too. First, I really enjoy it and I'm good at it. Second, I really want to contribute to the club. I've always wanted the club in my life. With Torin making it clear I'd never be his, I gave up fighting my family for a place in the club I grew up around. Here, in Cincinnati, I've found a place for myself. I fit here. I can't do that in Kentucky. Sure, I could fight Dad and Mattie, and maybe eventually, I'd win. I would never feel comfortable there, though—especially not with Torin hopping from twinkie to twinkie. It's painful enough to just hear about his exploits with the club girls. Nope, I have no place there.

"Trudy, I can't be myself at home. You think Debbie and Torin's exploits are talked about here? He's much worse in Kentucky. It would kill me to see it for myself daily. I couldn't survive the pain."

"Don't count him out. I think you'll see a big change now that he's stopped fighting it."

"He'll change his mind," I mutter, not convinced.

"Honey, that man marched you into our club, claimed you, and has had you wearing his cut for two days now. He also told Debbie you were his old lady and that he's wanted you for years. He did all of that full well knowing it would get back to Breaker and Bull?—"

"But—"

"Make no mistake about it, Kyla. That man has claimed you and it will get back to the club in Kentucky. Wheeler may give him a day or two, but he will make sure they know."

I feel my heart running away with me and I fight the urge to put my hand against my chest. I just don't know if I'm happy or terrified at having everyone thinking that Torin and I are together. Shit.