Chapter 16

“I’m not really sure where to start…” I trailed off as I thought back to the beginnings of my life. There were so many memories, ones I had wanted to forget forever.

“You don’t have to tell me everything.” He breathed in deeply, taking my scent into his lungs, then kissed the top of my head. “Just the most important things that will help me protect you.”

I sighed and forced my limbs to relax, one at a time, not realizing how stiff they had become.

“I didn’t know I was adopted. Not until I was close to around eight years old. It was pointed out to me by one of my teachers if you can believe it. Once that seed was planted in my mind, it was fairly easy to tell. My mother, she’s blonde and blue eyed. Not that it mattered when I was a kid, but now that I am fully grown, our height difference is obvious, too. She’s tall, nearly as tall as my father. He’s dark haired like me, but he also has blue eyes. And then there’s me- the only one with a darker skin tone and dark eyes. I imagine, based on my features and skin tone, that I am probably full of Native American blood. I thought about having a DNA test done, you know, one of those that you do through the mail? But I was afraid that somehow they would be able to find out.”

I was rambling from nervousness, putting off explaining the real issue with my upbringing. I sighed again, then shrugged awkwardly against his side. “I guess I was… odd. I would get upset if my closet door was closed at night. I would lie awake as long as I could and stare into the darkness, hoping that whatever was there, hiding in the dark, would come out.” I closed my eyes and thought back to those days before shuddering.

“My mother hated it,” I said flatly. “She finally got tired of the way I would beg to have my door closed and have the nightlight off. I could hear my parents argue sometimes. She thought there was something wrong with me. She would blame it on my blood. I didn’t know what she meant until later, realizing she thought it had something to do with my birth parents.

“Then, when I was about twelve, I had a bit of a temper tantrum. I can’t even remember what I was so upset about, but my eyes changed for the first time. When my mother saw my eyes shift to black, she freaked out and called the priest from our church. She was convinced I was possessed by a demon.”

Valen’s arms tightened around me, and it was then I realized my whole body was trembling and my breaths were coming out in pants. “Shhh. I’ve got you, Mate. I’m right here, and nothing is going to hurt you.” I let his soothing words wash over me, letting them calm my racing heart.

“The priest seemed eager to do the ceremony.” My mouth twisted in a grimace. “Knowing what I know now, there is no way the church had approved what he was planning. I had been so scared. There were candles lit all over the place, and he was wearing these big, dark robes, waving around his hand, and speaking these strange words. I had been forced to lie on my bed and then tied down so I couldn’t move. While the priest performed his exorcism, my mother stood back, watching. She didn’t do anything to help me; just stared at me as I begged her. It was all too much for my mind. I guess I freaked out.”

I squeezed my eyes shut as the terror of the first experience of being tied to my bed filled my gut, making me nauseous. I swallowed back the bile as my fingers clung tightly to Valen, using him as an anchor to keep me from falling deeper into the pit of fear-induced trauma.

“It happened several times throughout the years. The exorcisms were never successful, obviously,” I smiled wryly. The smile dropped when I thought about the damage I’d caused. “During the first exorcism, the room started shaking as I lay there screaming. I didn’t even know I was doing it; I was too freaked out by the ropes and the yelling.”

I remembered the look on my mother’s face, the sheer terror that had overtaken her usual expression of hatred as she stood next to the priest, staring down at my body as I thrashed on the bed. I had been struggling to get free, begging her to let me go.

“The walls cracked,” I whispered. “Then the ceiling started to break apart. I watched a chunk of the ceiling hit the priest. Then, a piece hit my mother. I remember laying there, scared, as I watched a trail of blood slide down her forehead.”

I let out a shuttering breath. “She was convinced I was evil. For years, she had been punishing me. She was convinced that my obsession with the dark was unhealthy. She had been locking me in a closet when my father wasn’t home. He was hardly ever there, too busy with work. When he started campaigning, he was gone for days or weeks at a time. That was when she would have me stay in the closet the most. There were times I couldn’t tell how many days I had been in there.”

Valen had stiffened under me as he listened to my story. I wasn’t sure if I was making much sense as the words flowed from me. It was the first time I had spoken them out loud to anyone. His chest rumbled with a growl, and somehow, it felt soothing to hear. It made me believe he cared about young me from the past.

“That was how I became scared of the shadows and darkness.” My words came out strangled as they slipped past the lump in my throat.

“What happened after the ceiling collapsed? Not that I give a shit about those monsters, but you were tied to the bed. Did you get hurt?” He sounded as if he wanted to go back in time and save me from that awful day. I ran my hand over his chest, my turn to try to soothe him.

“I wasn’t hurt, but the room was a mess. My mother had to confess to my father what she had been up to. He’d been livid. But not at what she was doing, just that she had done it at home. It was the day I lost trust in the only other person I thought cared about me. I learned then that the whole reason I was adopted was because my mother couldn’t have children, and a politician needed to have a family to appeal to voters. A family man who cared enough to adopt a poor little orphan girl who was left on the doorstep of a firehouse? He would get votes for sure.”

I wiped away a tear at the remembered feeling of loss and rejection. I think maybe he did love me in his own way at the beginning, but he became so obsessed with his career. Then, the way his wife would complain about me soured whatever paternal feelings he’d once had. I became a burden, one that had the potential to hurt his image more than help it.

“After that, I did my best to be the perfect daughter. I tried to control my emotions so I wouldn’t give them a reason to punish me or worse, call in the priest again. For years, I did everything they wanted, studied what they wanted, and dressed how they wanted. It was awful. I felt like a part of me was dead inside.

“I left home about a year ago. I had been going to the local college, studying political science because that was what they wanted me to study. I was supposed to help my father’s career. It was the whole reason I existed in their lives. Things had settled into a pattern of school, campaigns, and standing dutifully at his back next to my mother during speeches. Then, one night, I was attending one of their usual social dinner parties with people who could help him reach his ultimate goal. Between the first and second courses, it was announced that I would be getting married.”

Valen’s string of vile curses almost made me want to laugh, even though there was nothing funny about it. I had sat there in shocked disbelief as the man sitting next to me casually reached over and took my hand. When I glanced over at him, barely able to keep the incredulity out of my expression, he wasn’t even paying attention to me. Instead, he was soaking up all the attention from the other dinner guests with a huge smile on his face, showing off his blindingly white teeth.

“I didn’t even know him. I was sure I had seen him at one function or another, but hadn’t spoken a word to him until that night when I’d asked him to pass me the rolls. When I confronted my father later that night in his study, he made it clear that it was my duty as his adopted daughter. There was no discussion, no other explanation. I looked my fiance up on my computer later that night and found out he was the son of another politician. Together, they believed that it would forge strong ties between our families, something that would elevate us into American royalty, like the Kennedys.

“I hated every second of it, but I felt I didn’t have a choice. My parents paid for everything. My education, my car, my phone. I didn’t have a job because my job was to be the future president’s daughter. That meant when I wasn’t at school, I was by his side at events or at my mother’s side doing charity work. When the night before the wedding came… I panicked.”

“So you ran.”

I laughed bitterly. “I ran. I hadn’t spent more than a few hours with the groom since the announcement. We went on a couple of dates for the sole purpose of being seen together in public. We had never so much as held hands, let alone kiss. Suddenly, I was supposed to marry him? Move in together and be intimate? I couldn’t do it,” I finished in a ragged whisper.

My mother had laid out my life for me that night. She made it clear that nothing was to change. I was to continue to support my father, and once I completed my schooling, I was to start working for him full-time. My job as a wife was to appear with my husband, who was just starting out in his own political career.

“But, Mother, I don’t want to do this!” I had cried as I stared at the hideous white dress she had chosen for me to wear. It was a poufy monstrosity that probably weighed twenty pounds and had a train at least ten feet long. “I don’t even know him. Please, don’t make me do this.”

“Shut up, you ungrateful little brat! After everything we’ve done for you. After everything you put us through.” She reached up absently to touch her forehead where the scar had been before my father had paid thousands to have it removed. She straightened back her shoulders and glared at me with all the hatred I knew she felt. “You will do what you’re told. Just lay there on your back and take it like a dutiful wife is supposed to. If you’re lucky, he will have a mistress or two and only bother you once a month until you produce an heir.”

I shook off the memory. After she had left me alone that night, I escaped with a small backpack of clothing and the engagement ring. I pawned the ring in the first shop I came across and used the money to get as far away as I could. It never seemed far enough. Frankly, I was surprised I hadn’t been discovered yet. I knew they had to have been searching. I doubted it looked good on my family to have the bride run away while the groom was practically standing at the altar. With their money and connections, I understood how important it was to stay away from cities or places where I might be recognized. The strip club had seemed like the perfect solution. And it had worked well until vampires came along.

“So, that’s what I’m running from. Not only am I scared to face them for running away from my wedding, but I’m terrified of the punishment I will get if they find me. I don’t think they’d be satisfied with locking me in a dark closet for a few days this time.”