Chapter 13
Iwasn’t sure how long I stood there staring at the closed door to the lift. My heart felt wrecked. I knew he left because of how angry he was that Syn had shown up unexpectedly to confront me after he told her to back off. But it was the way he left that hurt. I shook my head, knowing that I had no choice. I needed to leave this place. Not just the loft that he had me stashed away in, but the strip club and the city.
I glanced toward the elevator door, knowing that was the way I needed to exit. I was about to turn back toward the couch where the bags that held the clothes he bought me were, when something caught my eye. With tentative steps, I inched closer, trying to determine what it was. Once I was standing over the piece of paper wedged just under the metal door, I realized that Syn must have pushed a note under the door. She just wouldn’t give up.
Frustrated at everything, I bent down to retrieve the note, ripping it a little in the process since it was really stuck under the low bottom edge of the door. The note was simple, just her saying she thought I would like my things. I let out a huff because she wasn’t wrong. I just hated that she would do anything nice for me at all. I didn’t want to be grateful to her.
I looked up at the panel next to the door and bit my lip, contemplating if I wanted to push that button. I doubted it would be a trap, not after all the time that had passed. But nothing could make me trust her after the threats she had already thrown my way. Not to mention her very obvious jealousy when it came to me being in Valen’s warehouse apartment, a place she wasn’t welcome.
I pushed the button to call the elevator and open the door. I stepped back, holding my breath, then let it out with a relieved sigh once the open space revealed nothing but my backpack. It was the one I had used the last year of high school and one of the only things I took with me when I ran away from home.
I quickly snatched it up and then pushed the button to close the door panel, not wanting the elevator to remain open. The thought of it had a shiver running down my spine. I didn’t care for the idea of an open space that I couldn’t see into from the sitting area.
Once I had the door closed and my bag in hand, I hurried back over to the couch and placed it down. “Everything better still be inside,” I grumbled to myself as I spread the fabric open to reveal what seemed to be a completely untouched bag with my belongings inside. My street clothes were folded neatly on top, exactly the way I had left them.
I dug around underneath to locate my wallet and the keys to my small apartment, not that I planned on going back to that place, ever. At the very bottom were my shoes, a simple pair of flats that I wore daily. They were beginning to look a little worse for wear, but they were my favorite pair, and I was super happy to see them. I didn’t know if Valen had included any shoes during his shopping spree, but it wasn’t as if I were planning on keeping any of the stuff anyway.
I set my backpack to the side and finally took a long look at all the shopping bags he’d tossed on the floor. I squeezed my fingers together in indecision. I shouldn’t look. I wasn’t going to keep anything. Then curiosity won out, and my hand darted for the first bag, hauling it into my lap. My fingers met silky fabric, and I gasped at the blouse I pulled out. It was so soft and pretty, exactly what I would have chosen for myself if I’d been able to.
I had a very limited wardrobe back home. From the time I could remember, all my clothing had been chosen for me. Our family had an image to uphold. Literally, everything we did was based on the image we meant to project. I was the good daughter with perfect grades. I was never allowed to get into any kind of trouble, which meant my friends were chosen for me as well. High school was a particularly difficult time in my life.
I hated the friends that I had. Not that they were actually friends. They were just other children with similar families who had similar interests in keeping up appearances for the public. I never spoke to them outside of scheduled outings or family dinners at restaurants. They didn’t speak to me at school, which meant I was alone. Anyone else who tried to be my friend was discouraged quickly and quietly. I learned early on to keep my head down and do what was expected of me. When I wasn’t studying for my perfect report card, I buried myself in books. Unfortunately, most of those were chosen for me as well. It wasn’t that I didn’t enjoy the classic stories that appeared on my bookshelf; I just loved getting lost in romance books, relishing in the happily ever afters. I had to be stealthy, but I had learned how to hide one long enough to read it before I had to return the book to the library.
By the time I was done emptying out all the shopping bags, I was surrounded by beautiful colors and fabrics. There were also jeans and regular shirts included as well, which made me sigh in relief. As much as I would love to wear pretty skirts and floral dresses every day, traveling would require clothing that was a bit more sturdy.
My fingers trembled as I folded the jeans to take up the smallest amount of space in my backpack. It hadn’t escaped my notice that everything appeared to be perfectly sized. Either the man had an impeccable ability to eyeball a woman’s size, or he took notice when he went to my apartment. Either way, I was touched and grateful for his thoughtfulness.
As I chose a few items that would work best to travel in, my mind ran over the words I should say in a thank you note. I hadn’t planned to leave one at all, as much of an ungrateful brat that would make me seem. But after seeing what he had done for me, I knew I couldn’t do that. I thought of, and discarded, several versions of “thank you, and goodbye” but still hadn’t come up with anything that didn’t make me cringe.
Finally, I stood up, sliding the straps of my bag over my shoulders, and slipped my feet into my shoes. Walking over to the kitchen, I began to hunt around for a pen and paper. After searching through the few drawers in the small kitchen, I came up empty. I was frustrated as I looked at the time on the stove. I didn’t know how long he would be gone, but I knew I needed to start moving if I wanted to get away before he returned.
At the sound of the lift moving, I realized it was already too late. I threw a nervous glance at the smaller elevator next to the lift and contemplated making a run for it. Sure, it was cowardly, but it was probably better to avoid the awkwardness of a goodbye. Unfortunately, my choice was taken from me when the doors slid open.
Valen was already stepping away from his motorcycle, his expression just as angry as it had been before he left. I wondered if he had been able to confront her after all. His steps faltered, then froze as he noticed me. His eyes quickly took in my appearance with the full backpack and the shoes on my feet, then his expression closed off as if he were shutting down all his emotions.
I felt my lower lip tremble but quickly jutted my chin out and squared back my shoulders. Before I could say a word, he began to move forward. My jaw dropped in surprise when he turned his back to me. I had been ready for a fight. The thought that he had already dismissed me from his life hurt more than I could stand. That quickly, he had written me off as a lost cause or someone he had once crossed paths with for a brief time.
It was the beeping of the security control panel next to the door that made me understand what he was doing.
“You can’t lock me in!” I protested when the light blinked red twice, and the lift door closed swiftly.
Valen turned back to take me in again, then began to prowl closer. His expression was still shuttered, but his eyes were almost scary, with the intensity shining from deep within their depths.
“Going somewhere?” His tone was raspy, making butterflies dance around wildly in my gut.
I tightened my resolve before replying in a firm voice. “I told you, it’s best that I leave.”
He cocked his head, ignoring my words, and jerked his chin in the direction of my back. “Where did the bag come from?”
I glanced down at my shoulder, somehow forgetting for a moment that I was even wearing it. I looked back up at him with narrowed eyes. “Apparently, your girlfriend dropped it off earlier when she was threatening me.” I grimaced as soon as the words left my mouth. His eyes narrowed a fraction as he took me in. “Sorry, that was uncalled for. I found a note stuck under the door. She must have left it when I went into the bathroom to get away from her.”
“That woman is not, and never has been, my girlfriend. She was a friend, one of the only I’ve had in my life, and now she’s not even that anymore.”
I dropped my chin, shame for my awful words making me lose some of my stiffness. “I’m sorry I caused you to lose your friend.”
His steps ate up the remaining distance between us in a heartbeat. His large, calloused fingers tipped my chin up until I was staring into his deep green eyes. “You are not responsible for any of this, Kallista. You are innocent, stuck in the middle of a war that you shouldn’t be a part of but was dragged into by evil men.” He studied my face as I blinked up at him with unshed tears swimming in my eyes. “Now, tell me why you were leaving.”
Those last words were ominous, and I swallowed hard at the anger brewing in his tone. “It’s too dangerous for me to stay.”
“You don’t think I can take care of you?”
“It’s not that! You shouldn’t have to keep a woman you barely know safe.” I was pleading with him to understand. “I appreciate what you’ve done for me, the clothes, the warehouse. But it’s okay. I’m letting you off the hook now. Thank you for everything,” I trailed off in a whisper.
I sniffed as I stared at his chin, unable to bring myself to look into his eyes and see the disappointment there. Or worse, relief. What I wasn’t expecting was for him to bend his knees until he was closer to my level and bring his face nearer to mine.
“No.”
I gasped. “No?”
“No.”
“B-but, I don’t understand. You can’t tell me no!”
“I can demand to keep my mate safe, and the safest place for my mate is by my side.”
His words made my own anger start to rage inside of me. I tried to jerk my chin away from his tight grip, but he held me steady. “You don’t want a mate, Valen. You already made it clear that you are a loner, and that’s fine. I’d prefer to be alone too, than to be around someone who doesn’t want me. I’m letting you off the hook. You’re free. Move on with your life, and I’ll move on with mine.”
His sudden growl had goosebumps rising on my arms.
“Off the hook?”
I nodded as well as I could in his firm grasp.
“You’re moving on with your life?”
“Y-yes?” I hadn’t intended the word to come out as a question.
“Do I have any say in what I want, or do I just have to take your assumptions for fact?”
I swallowed hard and blinked rapidly, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to fall. An emotion was tightening my chest so hard I was finding it difficult to take in a full breath. It took me a long moment to realize the emotion I was feeling was hope. “You have a say,” I whispered brokenly through my clogged throat.
He stood there for a long moment, just taking me in before he finally straightened back up. His posture was rigid, and I got the impression that he was readying himself for rejection.
“I never wanted to be close to anyone because of my past and my fear that I could hurt them unintentionally. I didn’t even know that fated mates were a thing because of it. Maybe if I had known more about my own kind, I would have realized what the burning sensation I’d had a little over twenty years ago meant.” He paused and studied me for a long beat. “I would have looked for you, Kallista. Because I am learning that even though I wasn’t expecting it, and it was a shock to find out, the Fates weren’t wrong. You’re perfect. For me.”
I let out a strangled sob at his words.
“What I want, Mate, is a chance to prove that I am perfect for you, too.”
His words sent the small bit of hope I’d felt a moment ago surge through me like a flood. “What changed your mind?” I couldn’t help but ask because it was such a change from that morning.
He backed away and ran his fingers through his hair. “There is the pull. I tried to ignore it.” I nodded because I felt the pull, too. “But every second I’m around you and get to know you a little bit more, I realize the Fates know what the fuck they are doing. If I were to build the perfect woman for me, she would have your face, your mind, your body, and your heart. But seeing you ready to walk out of my life forever? That felt like a sledgehammer to my soul.”
I blinked and wiped a tear that had escaped down my cheek. His expression softened as he took me in.
“Will you give me a chance?”
What else could I do? I nodded.