Chapter Thirteen

Mallory

This morning was horrible.

I can't deny it.

I'd spent yesterday moping around the apartment upstairs, wondering how I was going to face Cooper. I didn't even go grocery shopping. There seemed to be enough food in the refrigerator, and I didn't feel like eating, anyway. I was more concerned with what I was going to say to Cooper the next time I saw him. How should I behave? What should I do?

He'd left me feeling so confused.

I wanted to be angry. I was angry. But there was a part of me that felt he wasn't as much to blame for what had happened as I'd thought he had been. Not quite. Although there were still holes in his story… still things I didn't understand. Like why he'd invited me to the festival in the first place, why it had felt like we'd been part of a game, and how it was possible to be so angry, and still ache for him at the same time.

He came down late, and even though I didn't have very much to do, I made it look as though I did, and kept my eyes focused on my computer screen. As far as I was concerned, he was the one who'd screwed up, so he could make the first move, even if he'd already told me he wasn't a ‘first move' kind of guy. I wanted to be the exception. No. I needed to be the exception.

It seems Cooper wasn't about making exceptions, though, because although he waited for a while, he didn't say a word, and just took his first patient into the surgery. It felt awful, not even talking to him, but I couldn't think what to say… and it seemed he couldn't either.

Throughout the morning, he kept coming out, but everything he said to me was about work. How did he expect me to respond to that? What did he think I was going to do? Turn the conversation around to what had happened at the weekend, all by myself?

Why would I? Why should I?

So there wouldn't be such a terrible atmosphere between us?

Because there was. Even Greta noticed it. She asked if I was okay, and I couldn't lie and tell her everything was fine, when it wasn't. So, I told her the truth… that Saturday hadn't gone as well as I'd hoped.

That wasn't a lie, was it?

I'd hoped my afternoon at the festival with Cooper might have led to drinks, or even dinner. If he'd asked me back to his place afterwards, I wouldn't have said ‘no'. But I didn't even get the chance.

And by lunchtime, I realized I still wanted that chance… more than anything.

I was stunned when he stopped me from leaving the building and asked me to step into his surgery. The last thing I expected when we got there was for him to ask if we could try again.

And yes, I get that what I should have done at that point was to run across the room and throw myself at him. But I could still remember him saying he didn't know why he'd invited me to go to the festival with him. No matter how much I wanted him, I needed to be sure we both knew what we were doing… and why.

Did I expect him to say he wanted to be with me?

No.

Did I imagine hearing that would set my body on fire, but cloud my brain at the same time, making it impossible to speak, or think, or breathe?

Clearly not.

But when he said it all a second time, while gazing deep into my eyes, I knew he meant it… and that understanding why didn't matter anymore.

Which is why I've spent my afternoon in a daze, trying desperately not to let my hopes get the better of me… even though I can't help dreaming that this might be the beginning of something fabulous.

I wasn't sure whether to wait for Cooper after his last patient had left, but in the end, I didn't need to worry. He came straight out and walked over, smiling down at me.

"I'm gonna be a little while longer," he said, resting his hands on the edge of the desk and leaning over slightly. "But I'll call for you at seven. Okay?"

I nodded my head and whispered, "Okay," surprised by how difficult it was to talk, so I cleared my throat. "I'll be ready," I said, my voice a little clearer.

He smiled. "I won't mind waiting, if you're not."

I got to my feet, unable to stop staring at him, and he stood up straight, his eyes never leaving mine. It felt like there was an unbreakable bond between us… one I'd like to explore later. But I think we were both aware that we needed to get on. He had to finish up, and I had to get ready, and although neither of us seemed to know what to say, we went our separate ways.

Since then, I've showered, styled my hair, put on enough makeup that it looks like I'm trying, but not trying too hard, and I've chosen what to wear. All I need to decide on now is underwear, and even that isn't too hard. My dress is a black wrap-around one, which is quite fitted. The last thing I need is a visible panty line, so I'm opting for a thong… a white lace one, with a matching bra. I actually prefer wearing thongs, and do so most of the time, especially under the skirts I wear for work, because they're quite fitted, too. The one I've chosen for tonight is especially nice, though. The lace is fine, and I love how soft it feels against my newly shaved, deeply moisturized skin.

I keep an eye on the time, making sure to be ready when Cooper knocks on my door, and I open it to find him standing there, wearing a dark gray suit, white button-down shirt, and navy tie. I've never seen him dressed up like this before, and it seems he's tried too, which makes me smile.

"You look lovely," I say, as his eyes wander down my body, coming back up to my face, his mouth dropping open.

"Y—You look beautiful."

There's something in his eyes… a hunger I've never seen before, and I struggle not to moan out loud as he takes my hand, pausing while I close my door, and then leads me to the stairs.

Once we're on Main Street, we only have to walk a few yards to the French restaurant, but I'm surprised when he doesn't stop.

"We're not eating here?" I say, looking up at him, and he turns and smiles down at me.

"I couldn't get a reservation, so I booked a table at the hotel. I hope that's okay?"

"That's fine," I say, nodding my head, and we continue on our way. A few cars pass us, but otherwise the town seems quiet, other than the gym, which is still open, the lights glaring out through the frosted windows. "Is that somewhere you spend a lot of time?" I ask as we pass by.

"The gym?" Cooper says, looking down at me with a frown on his face.

"Yeah."

"No. It used to be owned by Mitch Bradshaw. It's the last place I'd wanna be seen… but what would make you think I'd go there?"

"Oh… I don't know…" I say, glancing at the way his suit fits to his muscular chest and arms. He clearly notices and smiles, and I have to smile back, neither of us even remotely embarrassed, I'm pleased to say.

I find him attractive – more than attractive – and I don't see the harm in letting him know.

Cooper leads me through the hotel parking lot to a set of steps that take us up to a wide entrance. Inside, there's a definite country vibe going on, although it couldn't be called old-fashioned in here.

The bar is straight ahead and seems to be busy, but Cooper guides me to our left, toward the rear of the hotel, and through a set of double doors into an enormous dining room. Despite its size, it's still quite intimate, the tables spaced well apart, and the dimmed lighting and candles making it feel very romantic.

"Good evening, sir." A man in a bow tie and black suit smiles at us, nodding his head.

"I booked a table earlier," Cooper says.

"Ah, yes…" The man doesn't even bother to check, and just waves his arm and steps away, making it clear we're supposed to follow. Cooper keeps hold of my hand, and I admire his broad shoulders as we make our way right to the far side of the room, to a table by the window, overlooking a wide terrace.

"This is lovely," I say, glancing out to the hills in the distance, only just visible now in the murky evening light.

"It is," Cooper says, holding my chair.

The man waits while Cooper sits, and then straightens the silverware, which looked okay to me, before he leans in slightly.

"Liliana will be your waitress for tonight," he says, and then he smiles. "She's new, so be gentle with her."

Cooper glances up, smiling, and nods his head before he looks back at me, the man disappearing toward the front of the restaurant again. There are menus on the table in front of us, but neither of us touches them. Cooper just stares at me, his head tilted to one side, until self-consciousness gets the better of me and I have to ask, "Is there something wrong?"

He coughs, shaking his head, and says, "No. Sorry. I just… I'm just really glad you're here."

I can't help smiling, and he smiles back. There's an atmosphere between us again, but it's not like it was this morning. Sure, it's tense, but in a good way. I like it, and I think Cooper does too.

"Shall we order?" he says, and I nod my head, both of us picking up our menus.

As I open it, I feel a little overwhelmed, recalling how I felt when I looked at the restaurant menu on Brady's phone. That was easier than this, though. There were tick boxes and didn't seem to be as many options. It was laid out differently, too. I feel unsure what to look at first, and before I make a fool of myself, I lower it again, which gets Cooper's attention.

"I've never eaten anywhere like this before," I confess. "I've never been anywhere that had a head waiter, or a maitre d', or whatever that man should be called."

Cooper smiles. "Most of the time, he's called Chester. He owns this place, along with his wife, and if you ever come here for breakfast, you'll find him dressed very differently."

"Really?"

"Yeah," he says. "The bow tie and head waiter act are all part of the show."

"I see… and do you often come here for breakfast?" I ask, teasing him.

"I've been a couple of times… with Brady," he says with a grin on his face.

"And for dinner?" I ask, with less of a tease this time.

"A few times," he says. "Although not with Brady."

"With Meredith?" I don't know why I need to ask, but I do.

He leans in and sighs. "Not exclusively. Why? Is she gonna be a problem?" I shake my head, even though I'm not sure about my answer, and as though he's guessed that, he reaches out, taking my hand in his, which feels reassuring. "She used to spend a lot of time at my apartment, as I'm sure you're aware, but we went out from time to time. Sometimes we'd come here, or go to Dawson's Bar, or the restaurant." He takes a breath, but not a long one. "Unless you and I are gonna avoid doing any of those things, or we're gonna move to a different town altogether, do you think you could accommodate my past and Meredith's role in it?"

My heart is fluttering in my chest, and I stare at him for a moment longer, before lowering my gaze to our hands, noticing how our fingers are entwined. My hand looks so tiny in his, but there's something about that; something that makes me feel… safe.

Safe…

I've never felt that way before. It's new, and exciting, and so, so comforting. But I can't let it overwhelm me… not until I know for sure.

"Do I need to accommodate it?" I ask.

"Yes. You do."

"Why?"

I know I said that understanding why didn't matter anymore, but this feels too momentous not to at least try.

"Because if you can't deal with the past, the future's gonna be kinda difficult," he says.

"Th—The future?"

"Yeah. The future. The one I think I'd like us to have… together."

"You only think? You don't know?"

He shakes his head, although he's smiling, and while I wish this didn't have to matter so much, it does.

"This is all new to me, Mallory," he says, eventually. "It's like you and the menu. None of that made sense to you, did it?"

"Not really."

"That's how I feel. Nothing that's happening to me makes the slightest bit of sense, but just like you still wanna eat, I still wanna do whatever it is we're doing."

"You don't know what we're doing?"

"No… but I don't need to understand it. Not as long as we're doing it together."

"You mean that?"

"Absolutely. Although you're gonna have to make some allowances," he says, giving my hand a gentle squeeze.

"I am?"

"Yeah. I'm finding my way here. So, you're gonna have to forgive me if I say or do the wrong thing from time to time. I've never… I've never felt like this before, you see?"

Is he saying what I think he's saying?

He must be, mustn't he?

Should I ask him?

No!

Because when all is said and done, if he wants to be with me, and I want to be with him, we'll find our way around the rest of it. I don't know how easy that will be, when I can still remember Meredith's screams of pleasure and cries for ‘more', but we'll find a way.

We have to.

"Can you work with that?" he says, clearly impatient for an answer.

"I'll try."

He smiles and I smile back.

"In that case, do you want some help with the menu?"

"Could you just order for me?"

"Seriously? You trust me?"

"Of course I do."

His smile widens, and he picks up his menu again, although I don't bother with mine and I watch him while he studies his, taking a moment before he looks up again. "How do you feel about white asparagus with Parma ham and lemon aioli?"

"I feel quite happy about it."

He nods his head, returning his attention to the menu, but looking at the opposite page this time, frowning, then nodding once more as he seems to make a decision.

"And salmon, served with a caper sauce, sauté of spinach and onions, accompanied by garlic whipped potatoes?"

"That sound delicious."

He closes the menu and looks around, raising his hand.

Within moments, the waitress appears by our side, although she focuses solely on Cooper, and I feel my heart sink as I take in her blonde hair, which is tied in a complicated up-do that I'd never even begin to attempt. It's all curls and ringlets, and nothing like as plain as mine. Her pretty face is perfectly made-up, too, and as I lower my head, I can't fail to notice that her outfit clings to every contour of her slim figure. Her black skirt is short enough to show off long, toned legs, and her white top reveals a very ample cleavage.

"Are you ready to order, sir?" she says, putting a lot of emphasis on that last word, like she'd be happy to play the submissive to Cooper's Dominant, and I'm torn between kicking her and crying. I won't do either, of course. That would be humiliating. But at the moment, I think I'd rather be anywhere than here, listening to her simpering over him, as though I were invisible.

"Are you okay?" Cooper squeezes my hand and I look up to see the waitress has gone. He's pouring us some water, and he smiles across at me. "I hope you didn't mind me ordering the wine by the glass, but white will go so much better with your dishes than red."

I hadn't even heard him place the order, but I nod my head. "I'm not a great wine drinker, anyway. In fact, I'm not a great drinker of alcohol… period. But I'm sure it'll be fine."

"Would you rather have something else?" he says. "I can get the waitress to come back."

"No." I give my answer rather too quickly, and take a breath to calm down. "No. Wine will be lovely, thank you. What did you order?"

He smiles, putting down the water bottle between us. "Weren't you listening?"

"No." I'm not about to tell him I was seething with envy over the waitress, and rather than making up an excuse, I just say nothing.

"I ordered a Sancerre for you and a Malbec for me."

"I see. Well… I don't, really. I've never had either of them."

"I think you'll enjoy the Sancerre. It's quite light, and…"

He stops talking as the waitress comes over, bringing our drinks. She dumps mine in front of me and then makes a point of leaning over way too far to put Cooper's glass on the other side of his place setting. Part of me wants to tell her he's mine, and that she needs to back off. But we're holding hands. I would have thought it was obvious we're here together. Which I guess makes her the kind of woman who doesn't care who she tramples over to get what she wants… and it seems she wants Cooper.

I feel a little despondent about that, staring at her retreating figure, until Cooper coughs and brings me back to a much more pleasant reality.

He's holding up his glass and I raise mine too, letting them clink together before taking a sip. The wine is delicious… quite dry, with a hint of citrus, and I take another couple of sips and nod my head as I put down the glass again.

"That's really nice."

"Good," he says, replacing his glass and leaning in. "I feel slightly disadvantaged."

"Why?"

"Because you know about my past – or at least the most recent parts of it –but I know practically nothing about you, except that you come from Southern California."

"What else do you want to know?" I ask, part of me dreading his response.

"Everything," he says, his boyish grin sparkling with mischief.

I have to smile myself. "That doesn't seem fair. I don't know everything about you."

"Do you want to? Because if you do, I'm happy to tell you. All you need to do is ask."

I dip my head slightly, wondering where to start… where would be safe.

"How old are you?" I ask. That seems safe enough.

"Until the end of November, I'm thirty-seven. That's something else I know about you."

"What is?"

"Your age," he says, grinning. "I remember it said on your resume that you're twenty-two."

"I'm twenty-three now."

"You mean, you've had a birthday since you've been here and I didn't notice?"

I shake my head. "No. It was a couple of days before I arrived, while I was traveling."

"And how did you celebrate?" he asks.

"I didn't." His face falls and I lean closer, unwilling to explain that I've never celebrated a birthday in my life – not that I can remember – but desperate to stop him from looking so sad. "It's okay," I say. "I had better things to think about than getting older."

"Like what?"

"Like coming here."

"I see," he says, smiling again. "Well… at least I don't have to feel guilty for missing it."

I giggle, unable to help myself, and take another sip of wine. "How long were you with Meredith?" I ask, wondering what's wrong with me and why I've strayed from safety and into the danger zone quite so quickly.

"I honestly couldn't tell you," he says, surprising me. "It was probably a couple of years… maybe a little more."

"And you never thought about taking it beyond spending weekends together?"

"No. That's why we broke up. She wanted to get more serious, and I didn't."

"And you weren't willing to compromise?"

"Not for her, no."

"I see. Did you… Did you have any serious girlfriends before her?"

"No." He pulls my hand a little closer across the table, looks down at it for a second, and then raises his eyes to mine. "I'll make it clear, so you can't misunderstand, and so you don't have to keep asking questions to get to the bottom of my past. I've never lived with anyone, never been committed to any kind of intimate relationship, and I've never been in love."

That's pretty clear. It's also pretty depressing, bearing in mind the future Cooper was talking about earlier. Is that the kind of relationship he wants with me? Something remote and apathetic?

"Is that because you're not the type of man to do those things?" I ask.

"That's what I've always believed," he says, rubbing his thumb against my knuckles and making my skin tingle… not just on my hand, but everywhere. "I've always run a mile from anyone who's asked for more, or wanted any kind of commitment from me." I lower my head, feeling utterly despondent. "Hey…" he says, and I look up again. "People can change, Mallory."

"Can they? Can they really change that much?"

"Yes. I have."

He gazes into my eyes, raising my hand at the same time, and leans in as he opens it, uncurling my fingers, and dips his head, kissing my palm, letting his lips linger. I can't breathe. I can't think. My body's on fire and I watch as he looks up again. Something's changed. I can feel it.

And I like it.

"Your turn," he says, lowering my hand to the table again.

"My turn to what?"

"Talk about yourself."

I'm still struggling with breathing and thinking, but I nod my head. "In that case, it's your turn to ask questions."

"Okay. Tell me about your childhood."

"My childhood? We didn't go that far back with you."

"I know we didn't, but I've spent a lot longer being an adult than you have… and besides, you asked what I wanted to know, and this is it."

I feel cornered, and wish he'd asked about almost anything else. Still, he's been honest with me, and I know I'll have to tell him about it sometime. So why not now? At least it'll get it over with.

"My childhood wasn't… it wasn't pretty," I say, and he frowns, although I don't give him time to say anything. "I was brought up in a children's home."

"What happened to your parents?" he says, leaning closer and lowering his voice. He sounds concerned, almost fearful, and I wish we could be somewhere else now… somewhere we could sit closer, and he could hold me. I think it might be easier for both of us.

"My mom died when I was six."

"And your dad?"

"I never knew who my father was. For the first six years of my life, I lived with my mom in a trailer park, and the men in her life came and went on a fairly regular basis. My memories of that time are pretty blurred. All I can remember is that some of the men stayed long enough for me to know their names, although most of them didn't, a few of them beat her, some worse than others, and I never – not even for one second – felt safe."

"Jesus… Mallory," he whispers under his breath, holding my hand even tighter. "How did your mom die?"

"An accidental overdose. That's what they said it was."

"Were you there?"

I nod my head. "She hadn't come out of her bedroom, even though I'd already fixed my breakfast and eaten it, and watched some cartoons, so I went in and I found her, lying across her bed. I thought she was asleep, but she wouldn't wake up, no matter how hard I shook her."

He shakes his head, bringing up his other hand and holding mine in both of his. "What did you do?"

"I went to the woman who lived in the trailer next to ours. She called the cops and looked after me until someone came and took me away."

"And what happened to you after that?"

"I was sent to the children's home, although it was more like a boarding school, really. It was warm and dry, and the people who ran it were kind enough… in their own way."

"What does that mean?" he asks, and I look down at our hands.

"It means they were strict, but fair… at least in my experience."

"But there was no affection? No love?" he says.

"I didn't know what love was."

"Did you feel safe there?"

I shake my head, raising my eyes to look at him, and almost gasping at the sadness that greets me. It makes me want to hold him. "People came and went," I say. "There was nothing stable about it… so, no, I never felt safe. I found it easier to concentrate on studying, which was fine until I turned eighteen and had to leave. I wasn't ready to face the world entirely on my own, and I didn't feel like I'd finished with learning yet, so I went to college and studied English. It seemed like a natural progression, having spent so much of my life with my head in a book." He smiles and I take courage from that. "I worked several jobs to pay my way through college, and…" I pause for a second.

"And what?"

"I started dating."

He opens his mouth, and at that precise moment, the waitress appears, bringing our appetizers. Cooper has to let go of my hand for her to put down the dishes, and she lingers over placing his in exactly the right position, twisting the plate around, even though it's unnecessary.

"Can I get you anything else, sir?" she says, ignoring me completely.

"Do you need anything, Mallory?" he asks and I shake my head before he looks up at her and says, "We're fine, thanks."

She leaves, and I heave out a sigh of relief, looking down at the dish before me. The white asparagus is wrapped in Parma ham and there's a small bowl of what appears to be mayonnaise on the side. I'm not sure which silverware to use, and I wait for Cooper to pick up the set on the outside before I copy and cut into the asparagus, dipping it into the mayonnaise and popping it into my mouth. It tastes incredible. The mayonnaise is loaded with lemon and garlic, and I close my eyes, enjoying all the flavors as they swirl around my mouth.

"Is that good?" Cooper's voice interrupts my moment, and I open my eyes to find him staring at me.

"It's amazing." I lean over to see what's on his plate… which appears to be uncooked beef. "What did you order?"

"The sirloin carpaccio."

"It looks raw."

"That's because it is. The beef is just seared on the outside and then chilled before it's sliced."

"I don't think I like the sound of raw beef. I'll stick with my asparagus."

He laughs, sipping his wine and watching me eat for a moment longer before he says, "You were telling me you started dating… so, was there anyone special?"

"I thought there was."

"Oh?"

I nod my head. "A guy called Jonah. He was the same age as me, but he was studying Philosophy, and I'd been busy working and studying, so we didn't meet until our third year."

"And you were serious about each other?"

"Yes." I nibble at a piece of asparagus and take a breath. "Serious enough to…" I stop talking, unwilling to finish that sentence, even though I'm by no means a prude, and Cooper nods his head.

"Were you happy with him?" he asks.

"Happy enough… for a while."

"So, what happened?"

"I used to work an evening shift in a restaurant. It was nothing like this," I say, glancing around and recalling the place I used to spend my Wednesday, Thursday and Friday evenings. "It was nowhere near as nice, but the pay was okay. Anyway, I'd gone to work one Wednesday evening, leaving Jonah at home…"

"You mean you were living with him?" Cooper says, putting down his fork.

"Yes. He had a small apartment. I'd been living in the halls of residence, because I couldn't afford anything else, and I hadn't met anyone I wanted to share with. But when we started seeing each other, he suggested I could move in with him, and I… well, I liked the idea." He frowns slightly and I wonder if he's understood why I jumped at the chance to move in with Jonah, even if I was wrong about him in the end. "It's what most people do when they're in a relationship, Cooper."

"If you say so."

"I do."

He stares at me for a moment or two and then smiles. "Okay, so you lived with the guy. How long for?"

"Seven months."

He nods his head. "And what happened on this evening you were telling me about?"

"I got to work at the usual time, only to find the restaurant was closed. There was a power outage, and everyone was sent home again. I stopped off at the grocery store to get something for dinner, and then went home, thinking I'd surprise Jonah… only it was me who got the surprise when I found him in bed with another woman."

"Oh, shit…" he murmurs, letting out a sigh.

"It gets worse."

"How?"

"Because the other woman was one of his lecturers. She was old enough to be his mother."

"Seriously? Surely that kind of thing is frowned upon isn't it? Lecturers sleeping with their students, I mean. Not your ex being an idiot and cheating on you with a cougar."

I can't help smiling. "Yes, it is. And the fall-out was horrendous. Jonah left the college as a result of it, blaming me entirely for everything that happened."

"Blaming you? Why? Did you tell the authorities?"

"No. I didn't tell a soul. He just needed someone to blame."

"And he didn't think to look in the mirror?"

I chuckle. "Clearly not."

"What happened to the lecturer?"

"That's where it got really messy. They dismissed her, but tried to keep quiet about the reasons. Except it seemed she knew about two male lecturers who were sleeping with female students and threatened to go public with what she knew if they didn't give her a massive payout."

"Even though that would have meant revealing her own part in all of it?"

"Yeah. She'd clearly decided she was being treated unfairly, and if she was going down, she was taking them all with her."

"Was she being treated unfairly, though? I mean, did the authorities know about the two men who were doing the same thing?"

"I don't know. At the time, I didn't care enough to find out. All I know is, they paid her off in the end."

"And the two male lecturers?"

I shrug my shoulders, finishing the last of my asparagus, and taking another sip of wine, surprised to discover the glass is almost empty. "They were never named, so I don't know what happened to them. I just know a lot of the people on the college staff blamed me."

"But it wasn't your fault."

"Maybe not. But they assumed I'd reported the incident and caused the issue in the first place."

He shakes his head, pushing his empty plate to one side, so he can reach out and take my hand again, which feels nice.

"If Jonah left, where did you end up living?"

"I couldn't find anywhere else that I could afford, so I moved back into the halls of residence. The college authorities weren't happy about it. Like I said, they blamed me for what had happened, so they kept moving me around, and they only let me stay on the basis that they had to review my status every month. They'd go through my grades, check my finances, ensure there were no complaints against me, and basically look for any excuse they could find to throw me out altogether. They never found anything, but…"

"You lived from month to month, not knowing whether you'd still have a roof over your head?"

"Yes. It was terrifying, and made it really tough to get through to the end of my degree. Not only were people looking at me, talking about me, laughing about me… but I had no sense of security."

The waitress returns, and Cooper pulls his hand away from mine, just at the moment when I need him most.

"Was everything okay, sir?" she says, simpering at him.

"Yes, thanks. Although I think we could use some more wine, if that's okay?"

"Sure. I'll bring it right over."

She leaves, and Cooper and I just stare at each other in her absence, because we know she'll be back… and sure enough, she is, returning within minutes with fresh glasses of wine. She puts them down, removing the empty ones, and then takes her time, re-arranging the silverware and topping up our water before she eventually moves away. The second she does, he takes my hand in his again.

"Is that what made you decide to leave Southern California and come here?"

"Yes, and no. It's what made me decide to leave. Coming here was a bit more haphazard."

"Why?"

"Because I didn't know where I wanted to go, so I stuck a pin in a map."

He laughs, and I join in, relishing the sound we make together.

"I guess it must have been fate, then."

"What must have been fate?" I ask and he leans in closer.

"That brought you to my door."