20. Rukh

Returning to our camp empty-handed once more the next day, I find Annettes eyes full of quiet understanding. “Still nothing,” I say, stating what could remain unsaid. “I do not know where the problem lies. How can I not see something that must be right in front of my face?”

Perhaps some part of you is fighting yourself. It secretly wants to delay success, she suggests, cutting right to the core as she always does. I’m not saying you know you’re doing it. I’m just saying it would be understandable, since you have an emotional interest in the outcome, for that to cloud your mind a bit.”

“What?” I shake my head, disturbed by the implication that my powers have been compromised by emotion. “That is a ridiculous thing to say, I am a demon!I have no emotional investment in anything!”

“Yes, and when was the last time you didn’t catch your prey?”

“The draek the first day I met you.. Come to think of it, I do see a pattern. I always catch my prey, so the problem must be you.”

“Oh, really now, so I’m the problem? I’ll just be on my way then.”

“Let’s not be rash here,” I say, taking another step toward her. “The notion is ridiculous, I am a hunter through and through. Just this morning I caught breakfast with my own two hands.”

Yet the more I consider it, the more possible it seems. This journey together has awakened unfamiliar feelings within my ancient spirit. A closeness with her Im loathe to relinquish. I’d never break a promise to her on purpose, but it’s possible that there’s some sort of mental block interfering.

Tonight I will redouble my efforts and locate this hidden foe, no matter what it takes. No matter how I feel about it, I made Annette a promise and I intend to keep it.

But first, I need to find a solution to her accusation. Could she be right? Has some buried part of me sabotaged this hunt? How do I undo that?

I pace our moonlit camp, struggling with the implication. Never before have I doubted command of my own mind and body. Since I first awoke, my demonic gifts have responded perfectly to my will.

Yet now, try as I might to focus my preternatural senses, this quarry remains maddeningly elusive. Is there truly a traitorous part of my spirit working against the hunts completion?

“If so, how does one track and conquer an enemy within oneself? All my cunning is matched against outward foes, not my own… conflicted nature.”

Annette watches me, her green eyes soft with empathy. She believes my reluctance to find closure is born of affection, not malice or deception. Which in a way is true, if that’s in fact what has occurred.

Could it be true? I mutter, still pacing around the campfire. Have I somehow lost mastery over my own mind?

Annette looks up from sewing a tear in her cloak. I know you dont mean to fail me, she says gently. But the heart wants what it wants.

I shake my head, brow furrowed. I do not understand how to track and conquer an enemy within my own spirit, I admit.

Annette gives me a sympathetic smile. Its not about conquering your heart, Rukh. Try listening to it, understanding it.

I meet her green eyes, more lost than ever. You speak in riddles, little one! My gifts have never faltered until now. What has changed?

You have, she says simply. Being together has awakened new feelings in you. The hunt may have to wait until whatever is different in your spirit is ready.

I stare at the fire moodily. Mortal emotions remain unfathomable to me. How can I resume the hunt when the most cunning adversary dwells in my own conflicted breast? For now, only questions without answers plague my restless mind.

From the corner of my eye, I see Annette watching me with that same amused, affectionate look. Dense as I can sometimes be, even I start to comprehend her meaning

I let out an exasperated sigh. Suppose, hypothetically, I did have certain… feelings awakened by our time together.

Annette looks up expectantly.

Would that truly be enough to disrupt my supreme gifts? I ask.

For someone whos been a lone wolf for eons? It certainly could, Annette replies. Emotions can be scary and confusing at first.

I rub my temples. “Perhaps there’s something to it. You are adequate company, for a human.

Wow, dont inflate my ego too much with compliments like that, Annette laughs.

I am simply being honest, I huff. Though in truth, the nearness of her body kindles a warmth within me that I cannot seem to put into words.

Annette traces a finger slowly up my arm. You know, youre pretty adequate yourself, she murmurs, trailing her hand along my jawline as I shiver involuntarily.

I capture her hand in mine, our eyes meeting. Wicked girl, I rasp. Perhaps she is right about these burgeoning feelings after all. For the first time, the hunt is not the only longing that fills my thoughts...

Annettes touch leaves fiery traces across my skin. My breath catches as she trails a finger along my jaw. No prey has ever ensnared my focus so completely as this clever, playful girl.

You toy with forces beyond your control, little one, I rasp, though I make no move to push her away.

Annette smiles up at me coyly. I think the mighty demon is the one struggling for control now...

The truth of her words stirs long dormant realizations within me. With her so near, the hunt matters not at all. Time seems to slow, centered only on her luminous eyes, on the sweet warmth of her mortal frame pressed close.

This growing fevered longing terrifies me in its novelty and intensity. Yet I cannot resist its pull - only surrender and let the rising tide carry me away.

I clasp Annettes hand over my racing heart. You have awakened something in me I do not understand, I confess. I only know that I wish you could stay here forever. I understand a cave is not the ideal home for you, which is why I suggested a cabin. That didn’t seem any more pleasing to you.

Rukh, you know how deeply I care for you, she begins gently. I wasn’t opposed to a cabin, just not that particular cabin. I’m not even saying I want to return to Mellara, but I’d like to have the option.

She trails off. I feel a hollowness opening within me even before she continues.

My life is there, and my name means something to me, Annette explains. I don’t know. I can’t explain it, but I don’t want to just stop here.

Though her words are kind, they pierce my soaring heart. For a delirious moment I imagined she might be saying that she’d happily stay here with me. Now, it sounds as if she’s politely trying to suggest she can’t promise anything.

I understand, I reply quietly. You have a future I can’t expect you to give up for me. Or at least, you could if you were cleared of these crimes.

Annette squeezes my hand. I just don’t want to be here because I’m stuck as a criminal. I’m sorry. I don’t know how to explain it in a way that you’ll likely understand. It’s the principle of it more than anything.

I nod silently. Mortals cleave to their fleeting lives. I cannot fault her for it. But her absence will leave cold, unending nights ahead.

Of course, my dear little one, I murmur through the ache. I will keep my promise and let you go home.

A bittersweet tragedy perhaps fated for ones like us.

I will treasure the stolen moments fate allowed us to share.