16. Rukh

Iwake up with her curled against my chest, again feeling warm and content. I imagine myself laying with her for the rest of the day, completing nothing at all. There’s a sweetness emanating from her hair, and I twirl my fingers in it just to enjoy the feel.

Her eyes gently peek open, as if so used to waking disappointed she does not want to rush. But seeing me, she smiles, and it reminds me of a sunrise breaking through clouded skies.

I cradle her slender form, marveling at these strange new instincts awakened in my ancient spirit. Before her, I never fathomed yearning for such simple intimacy.

Too soon, my demonic hunger stirs, an urge she cannot satisfy. With a parting kiss atop her head, I dive into the sparkling pond nearby. I plunge deep, lungs burning, and snatch a turtle and two fish.

I gather herbs on shore, reminded of Annettes mortal tastes. Though raw flesh sustains me, I will prepare her a proper meal.

Providing for another feels oddly rewarding. It’s one of many things that has been a fascinating revelation since meeting Annette.

I start a fire with a flick of my claws and into her little pot I throw the creatures along with the disgusting mortal accouterments. Yet, the aroma as it bubbles and steams makes my mouth water. She comes out of the cave while I am waiting for the food to be done, buries her face in my lap, and once more rests her eyes.

I serve her a steaming bowl, and together we eat as the sun climbs higher, drying the earth from the nights rain. She props herself up in my lap. “You really don’t mind?”

“Mind what?”

“You know what I’m talking about, the kill. The cooking.”

“I would prefer them the natural way, but for you, perhaps making exceptions is not so bad.”

She slowly nods. So how old are you exactly?

I gaze into the fire, considering. I do not know for certain, I finally reply. I try to estimate by the rising and fall of empires, measuring eras in the ebb and flow of civilizations.

My answer hangs heavy between us amidst the soothing forest ambiance. Annette absorbs this, curiosity still alight in her gaze. But you must have some memories that span the ages? she presses gently.

I shake my head. The lines blur over centuries. Events bleed together in my consciousness. I wake and sleep and begin to lose sight of how much time must have gone by.

I stare into the flickering flames, glimpses of forgotten eras dancing at the edge of recollection. She traces idle patterns on my chest, absorbing my words, trying her best to understand the unexplainable. How do you cope with it? she asks, her voice barely above a whisper.

In solitude, mostly. I am a drifter. The eons pass, and I remain. I’m a specter observing the rise and fall of empires. But understand, there’s solace in the simplicity of survival, in fulfilling one’s nature.

She absorbs my words, awe and sympathy painting her face. She presses closer. The flames flicker and crackle. I have seen the best and worst of humanity, I continue. Yet your resilience, your capacity for goodness despite the darkness that often shrouds this world, intrigues me.

My admission catches her off guard. Perhaps beneath the layers of my demonic exterior, there lies a complexity that defies the simplistic labels often assigned to creatures like myself. I reach up to gently trace the curve of her cheek, a gesture both intimate and reassuring.

Youve seen the darkness in me, too, she says softly.

Yet you carry a light within. It is a rarity, and perhaps that is why you stand out amidst the eons.

In the quiet of the forest, I find a strange comfort in her presence. Its as if, for a fleeting moment, our disparate worlds align, and the boundaries between us blur.

How did you awaken? she asks, changing the subject to something more tangible, more immediate.

I shift my gaze from the flames to meet her eyes. The call of malevolence stirred me. The darkness that permeated the surrounding towns pulled me from the depths where I slumbered. I awoke to a world steeped in chaos, and my instincts led me to seek out the source.

Malevolence, she murmurs, contemplating the implications of my awakening.

Yes, reply. I am drawn to it, tasked with consuming the souls of those who have committed terrible acts. It is a solitary existence, one I have embraced over countless centuries.

The revelation settles between us, an unspoken understanding of the path I must walk. I can see her entangled in a web of conflicting emotions – fear, fascination, and a burgeoning empathy that defies reason.

Do you remember your parents? she asks, her voice a soft melody in the ambient forest sounds. A stony silence follows as I contemplate.

No, I finally answer, my tone carrying the weight of a distant past. The memories of kinship, of familial ties, have faded into the recesses of time. I am a creature born of another era, detached from the bonds that define mortals.

Have you ever been in love? she ventures.

Love? I repeat, my expression one of genuine confusion. What is this? I search her eyes, realizing it must be another human convention.

Its a feeling, Rukh. An emotion that transcends reason. A connection that goes beyond the confines of time and space.

I furrow, absorbing her words despite grappling with a concept entirely alien. I have witnessed the passion of mortals, their intricate dance of affection and desire. I am not certain one such as I could ever attain it.

Anyone is capable of love, Rukh, she replies gently. Even demons. It simply takes finding the right person who sees past the surface.

For millennia, I walked in darkness, harvesting only fear and hate, he says softly. What would make me worthy of anything greater?

The past does not define you. Its the choices you make now that show who you truly are.

As the concept of love dawns on me, I’m sure I have both never experienced it and am not capable. If I could love, I would love Annette. And yet, that would be little more than a curse for her.

Love is not bound by mortality. Its a force that can touch even beings like you. Perhaps in ways youve yet to discover.

My withdrawal becomes palpable, a subtle shift in the atmosphere between us.

Annette, I am not capable of love. It is a sentiment that eludes me, a realm I cannot tread. You should not depend on me for mercy or understanding.

She meets my gaze, refusing to be swayed. There is goodness within you, she asserts, her voice gentle but unwavering. Ive seen it in the moments youve spared, in the times youve shown me kindness, shown what belies your demonic nature.

“You are misguided, little mouse. Beneath this exterior lies a creature driven by instinct, by the hunger for darkness. Do not romanticize what cannot be.

She reaches out, hand grazing my cheek, urging me to meet her gaze once more. I am not romanticizing, Rukh. I see you for who you are. A being shaped by a complex history, by an existence that spans beyond the comprehension of mortals. But within that complexity, there is room for goodness, for compassion.

You should not tether your hopes to the idea that I can offer mercy or love. It is a path fraught with disappointment and despair.

I am willing to navigate whatever lies ahead. I see potential in you… A capacity for more than you allow yourself to believe. You may not feel love yet, but that doesnt mean you are incapable.

A conflicted silence settles between us.

I will help you clear your name, Annette, I declare. I will find the one responsible for these heinous acts, someone we can expose to absolve you of the crimes you are accused of. But that is all I can do for you.

You dont have to do that. Youve already done so much for me.

I want to do what is best for you, the only way I know how.”