Chapter 39

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Adam

Listen to Somewhere Only we Know

by Keane

I ’d been ready to grab an Uber and drive out to the country to talk to Landon in person when her texts finally came through. I read through them like a maniac, trying to calm my rapidly beating heart.

I saw the pic with your new groupie. Planned? Or…

Crap. That was something I’d wanted to warn her about but not over text. Guess it went out into the cloud verse and she saw it. I rubbed my head, cursing. But that wasn’t the real problem anymore. I had to tell her about Max.

I dialed her into Facetime and hoped she picked up. When her face came on my screen, my entire body seized up and calmed at the same time. God, I missed her.

“Adam?”

“Landon.” I repeated her name in the deep voice she responded to when I needed her to focus. I could see immediately she looked frantic and almost fragile, which made me want to lose my fucking mind. “Breathe, sweetheart.”

Blue eyes wide, she immediately responded and sucked in air. Let it out slow. Then stared at the screen.

“Good girl.”

Heat flared even though we were miles away and a needy whimper escaped her mouth. I got hard in an instant and fought to keep my focus. There was too much going on and I needed to be clear. “I couldn’t get a hold of you. The connection here is crap and there was an accident that knocked out power.”

“It’s okay. I’m here now.”

She nodded and I sensed her calming. “I miss you. It’s a shit show here. When do you leave?”

“Late tonight. Tell me everything that’s happening with the show. With you. With that asshole you were kissing.”

She visibly shuddered. Licked her full lips. I waited it out though my gut clenched. “I didn’t know they were filming,” Landon admitted. “Clayton said he was nervous and didn’t want to kiss me on camera for the first time. He was sweet and seemed overwhelmed. Asked if I could just give him a peck to make him more comfortable so I did. It was nothing, Adam, I swear. Then I looked around and cameras were filming.”

I believed her. The kiss had been edited to look like something more, but I still hated the idea of any man’s mouth on hers. I gave a tight nod. “Okay. Not gonna lie. I still want to rip his face off.”

She gave me a smile. “Same way I felt when I saw that girl with her naked tits pressed against you. What was that about?”

“Bullshit. JJ had all these influencers come to our last gig and take pics. I guess she posted? I didn’t even get her name. It was nothing.”

A pause. “I believe you.”

Yeah, believing each other didn’t seem to be our problem. The bigger issue was continuing on this blind trust when we were separated for three months and hit with viral bullshit. Groupies and castmates. Producers and managers. Performing for others at the expense of this relationship.

“I’m glad,” I said. “But we’ve only been apart a few days and already it’s a shit show. Why do you look upset, Landon? What’s going on with the cast?”

She filled me in on the voting mess. The fighting. The way Brody and Clayton were beginning to heat up regarding who’d be with her. How she walked away and told them off.

It was the stuff she wasn’t saying that I noticed. How the crew pushed her in their direction so they could film drama and angst that sold a show. How they were using Landon as a prop and a trope for the audience. This would come out badly for her. Instead of making her a household name, it could ruin what she really wanted.

I seethed with frustration. “It’s so obvious what they want. This isn’t a reality show. It’s scripted like a soap opera and you’ll end up the villain.”

“I know. But Brody said I committed and it could blow up the show and everyone if I don’t work with the producers. I think he’s right. I can’t be here always worried about looking bad or getting you upset.”

I stiffened. “You’re saying you want to go full in on this drama with them?”

“No! I’m saying I need to fake it and hear from your lips that it won’t matter!”

I squeezed my eyes shut and felt Landon slip away a little more. I’d gotten sidetracked. I needed to deal with the Max issue. “It won’t. Don’t ask me to like it. I’m away while you’re playing kissing games with two men, but I will accept it. And no, I’d never use it against you. I swore I’d support your choices and I will, Landon. Just make sure it’s what you want more than anything else.”

She blinked, leaning in toward the phone. “I love you.”

“I love you.”

“Will it be the same? With you in LA, getting pushed to do PR stuff?”

“Yeah, it will. God knows what you’ll see. All I can tell you is to trust me and vice versa.”

A pause. “What if it’s still too much for us to handle?” she whispered.

My heart shattered in my chest. She was worried. Maybe she was beginning to question this whole thing before we even started the hard stuff. “Then we don’t make it.”

“Adam—”

“Wait, you need to listen. This is important. I found out the truth about Max. That night you were attacked at Red? He hired someone to do it.”

I watched her face smooth out as if she was trying to placate me. “I told you before, Max wouldn’t do that. I know you think he’d do anything, but that type of move is beyond even him. Can we let it go? I want to move on and focus on us.”

I practically growled into the phone. “Landon—I have proof. I met a guy named Gio. He’s Max’s friend and he admitted it to me!” I quickly related the entire interaction sparing no detail.

“What? Come on, you must’ve misunderstood, or he was fucking with you. He said he attacked me at Red and Max paid him to do it?”

“Exactly.”

“Why? What type of payoff would Max have gotten?”

I ground my teeth so hard my jaw hurt. “So you’d go back to him! I’m telling you Max is fucking dangerous and I don’t want you seeing him again. I intend on kicking his ass and confronting him but I haven’t had time. I just found out this morning. And?—”

As if I’d stepped into a dream—or nightmare—I heard the familiar voice echoing from the phone.

“Hey, Landon! Wanted to check on you since there was no service. Oops—sorry to interrupt.”

The world tilted and my head spun. Everything inside me got super quiet and still. “Landon? Is Max there?”

I caught the raw emotion in her eyes as she slowly nodded. She said something to him, walking away until she was framed by a background of trees. “Yeah, Max came up last night. He knows Lydia and said he was worried and wanted to check on me. I know you’re upset. I know you think Max did something horrible. I’m asking you to trust me on this.”

Where heat once burned, ice now froze. My insides morphed as I looked into Landon’s beloved face and realized she’d chosen Max.

She’d chosen to believe Max over me.

“Don’t worry, I’m telling him to go home today.”

She’d chosen to believe Max over me.

“I’m a mess, but I think we can manage if we keep strong, Adam. If we trust each other, and make sure we’re on the same page, we can do this. Because you’re everything to me.”

My heart shattered. Sharp fragments of pain jabbed in my gut but I was too devastated to even care. No matter what Landon said or felt, the bottom line was where it counted most, and she’d chosen Max. Even if I had proof. Even if I swore it wasn’t about jealousy or justice. I wanted to protect her with the truth, but she’d already chosen what side she was on.

And it wasn’t me.

“You believe Max?”

It was the final answer I needed. Landon tilted her head, obviously confused at my cold question. “No, I just believe you got wrong information. Adam—I’m not interested in Max. You know that, right? I love you.”

An animal sound escaped my throat. “You don’t even see it, do you? How easy it was to believe him even after he proved to be a liar? I’m not sure how he managed, but he did it. He kept a piece of you for himself, and you gave him permission.”

“What are you talking about! Adam?—”

“No, Landon. I see it now. I was being stupid. I’ll never…” I trailed off as I realized in real time that I’d lost her. Maybe she’d never been mine to begin with. Maybe she’d always belonged with Max and it was better I accept it now rather than later. “Doesn’t matter. I gotta go. I have a plane to catch.”

“Not like this.” Her voice whipped with ferocity and she glared into the screen. “You are not hanging up because you’re pissed Max is here. That in some fucked up way you think I chose him over you. It will always be you, Adam. Haven’t I proved it?”

Because I loved her, raw emotion bled into my tone. “Finish the show, Landon. Do what you need so you have no regret because that’s the most important thing of all.” I paused, memorizing the elegant planes of her face, her regal nose, her golden hair and bright blue eyes. “I fucking love you. I’ll die loving you.”

I hung up the phone and sent her the picture of Gio in the café. Then turned my phone off completely.

Tonight, I’d be heading to LA. I’d have three months to rebuild myself, though I’d only be a shadow of who I was meant to be.

It was over.