CHAPTER 24

“Will you go out on a date with me?”

Selma’s eyes widened. She had not expected that.

“A date?”

“Yes. With me. I’m thinking about the two of us at a restaurant that’s not populated by every other snowboarder on the planet,” Drew replied, laughing nervously.

And Selma knew Drew’s nervous laugh by now. She knew the laugh Drew had when she genuinely thought something was funny; the one that had a little snort in it when she thought something was the most hilarious thing she’d ever heard; the fake one Drew had used the other night at dinner, when someone had said something neither of them had thought was funny at all; and at least two of Drew’s other laughs. This one was Drew’s nervous laugh, though. Selma had heard it several times, including the one time at the park, in front of that fire, when Drew had been talking to a friend who’d asked about Drew’s new girlfriend. Selma hadn’t meant to eavesdrop, but she’d overheard Drew laugh nervously and say they were just friends. She hadn’t thought much about it at the time, letting her own insecurities get to her, thinking Drew Oakes wouldn’t ever want Selma to be her girlfriend.

Since then, though, she and Drew had gotten even closer, talking more on the phone, video chatting, and now, spending time together in person. The only times they’d been apart at this event so far had been because of snowboarding, and they’d been touching more and more. Selma had basically staked her claim on Drew in front of Drew’s ex earlier in the day, even though she didn’t have a claim on Drew at all.

“You want–”

“You know what? Never mind. Forget I said anything,” Drew told her and removed her helmet. “I thought… It’s okay. I need to get to the team tent, anyway.”

“Hey, congrats, asshole,” Andy said, walking over to them and patting Drew on the back. “I had you there for a minute.”

“But it’s who comes in first that matters most,” Drew teased. Then, she turned back to Selma and looked a little disappointed, despite the fact that she’d just won an important international snowboarding competition. “I need to get to the team tent.”

“Okay,” Selma replied.

“I’ll find you later.”

“Okay,” she repeated, feeling like a deer in headlights.

Andy had her arm slung over Drew’s shoulders like they were still dating. Drew had just asked Selma out, and because Selma had frozen, Drew had told her to forget about it and was now disappointed when she should be celebrating. Winning a race like this wasn’t the most important thing in the world, but it would help Drew stake her claim on two things: a spot on Team USA for the Olympics and a higher world rank than the current tenth Drew had. She could be up at least one spot just from winning today, and Selma had ruined it for her.

When Drew walked off with Andy to her team’s tent, people gathered around her, taking turns giving her high-fives and hugs, and Selma just watched from afar, not knowing what to do now. She’d expected them to leave together and head back to the hotel, like they’d done the other two days, but it seemed like Drew wasn’t going to go back with her since she had told Selma that she’d find her later.

So, Selma headed to find her own teammate, who had come in fourth in the final and wouldn’t be getting on the podium. They made it to the van that drove them back to the hotel, and when Selma got to her room, she closed the door behind her, removed all of her outerwear, and flopped onto the bed face down.

“You are such an idiot,” she mumbled into the bedspread.

She checked her phone after a few minutes to see if Drew had texted, but she had no messages at all. Deciding she needed some kind of mood improvement, she pressed the icon on her phone and waited.

“I didn’t expect to hear from you so early,” her grandma said.

“I just got back to my room. Any chance Gia is free?”

“She’s doing her homework. But I’m sure she’d like to tell you all about it. She hasn’t stopped talking about what she’s learning in physics.”

“Physics? She was taking chemistry.”

“They have her testing out physics now, too.”

“She’s nine.”

“She’s a genius,” her grandmother replied.

“I know, but… Is that too much for her?”

“It doesn’t seem to be. Selma, she’s thriving right now. They’ve told me she’s learning twelfth-grade science and eleventh-grade math.”

“At this rate, she’ll graduate high school by the end of the school year,” Selma noted.

“I don’t think that’s quite true,” her grandma replied. “She’s enjoying learning again, though, and it’s a great thing to see.”

“I wish I was there.” Selma sighed. “I can’t believe I got taken out again. Last time, it was my board and the weather. This time, it’s some Italian boarder.”

“How did Drew do? The final was today, right?”

“She just won.”

“She did? Oh, that’s great. I wish it were you, of course, but if it isn’t you, I’m glad it’s her.”

“Me too.”

“Tell her congratulations for me, and I’ll grab your daughter for you.”

“I will. Thank you.”

Selma wasn’t sure when she’d be able to pass Drew that message, since Drew was probably celebrating that finish with Andy and the rest of her team, and tonight was their last night. They’d both be flying out tomorrow, having managed to get their flights to line up in order to head to the airport together. Now, Selma was worried that she should arrange her own travel.

“Grandma?”

“Yes, honey?”

“Before you get Gia, can I tell you something?”

“Of course, you can.”

“Drew asked me out today,” she shared. “Maybe an hour ago, actually.”

“She asked you out on a date?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s great, Selma. When are you going out?”

“I don’t know that we are.”

“And why is that?”

“Because she asked right after she won, and I was so taken aback by it, that I didn’t exactly answer her. Then, she took it back.”

“She took it back?”

“She told me to forget about it.”

“Because you didn’t answer her.”

“Yeah.”

“She thought you were going to say no.”

“Or, tell her that I’m straight.”

“Selma… You still haven’t told that woman that you’re also attracted to women?”

“No. But there hasn’t been a moment.”

“You’re trying to tell me that there hasn’t been a single moment since you got there that you couldn’t throw out a mention of the fact that not only are you attracted to women, but that you’re attracted to one, specifically? Her. You like her.”

“Okay… There has been a moment, but I chickened out. I thought I could tell her at dinner the night we got here, but we ended up in a super busy place where all the other boarders were, and we sat at a table with some of them, including her ex-girlfriend, whom, I’m pretty sure, she’s with right now.”

“She’s with her ex-girlfriend right now?”

“I don’t know. Maybe. It got weird. She asked me, and I froze. Her ex came in second today, and she walked over to us. She talked to Drew earlier today, and I thought she was maybe asking Drew for another chance or something, but then Drew asked me out, so that seems unlikely. What if Drew is upset with me now, though, and Andy does want her back? What if they’re in Drew’s room right now, and Drew’s about to do something with her?”

“I doubt that’s going to happen. She doesn’t seem the type.”

“I know. But, Grandma, what if I just ruined it? What if I wasted my chance because I couldn’t answer her?”

“Why can’t you answer her now?”

“I don’t know where she is.”

“You just said she was in her room.”

“No, I said she could be in her room. She won today, so she’s probably on the podium now or just getting off it. I don’t know. She might be on her way back. We headed back to the hotel together every night since we got here, but she told me she’d find me later, which felt like a brush-off, so I just left.”

“Oh, honey… I think you’ve gotten yourself a little mixed up and probably just need to talk to her.”

“And tell her what?”

“Well, yes, obviously. You do want to go out with her, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. Then, you tell her that she just took you by surprise earlier, and you wanted to say yes but were caught off guard. You tell her that you’d like to go out on a date with her because, yes, you are attracted to women and her, specifically. And if she still says that she wants to go out – which, I’m sure, she will – you go out on that date.”

“When?”

“Huh?”

“When? Tonight is our last night here. I won’t see her again until the next event. I so did not expect this. Maybe I should’ve, after all the time we’ve spent together this week and how good it’s felt… But now, it’s a possibility, and I don’t know what to do because I live in one place, and she lives in another.”

“You’ll worry about that later. For now, you need to message her and tell her yes.”

“Can I talk to Gia first? I always feel better after I talk to her.”

“Of course, you can. I’ll get her for you. And, Selma?”

“Yeah?”

“Honey, it’s going to be okay.”

“What if we go out, and she wants to do more than just kiss me at the door? I haven’t even kissed a woman yet.”

“She won’t pressure you. I can tell that about her. I told you that already. You need to be honest about what you’re ready for, and she’ll do the same. That’s how it works.”

“Okay. You’re right.”

“Gia, it’s your mom, honey.”

“Mom!”

Selma brightened instantly.

“Mom?” Gia said again once she had the phone.

“Hi, baby,” Selma said.

“Did you win?”

“No, baby. But Drew did.”

“Drew won? That’s awesome! Is she there? Can I talk to her? You said we could last night, but then we couldn’t.”

“It was your bedtime, Gia. And she’s not here right now. I can ask if she can call you in a couple of days, okay?”

“I want to tell her, ‘Congratulations.’”

“I’ll tell her for you tonight, and you can tell her when you talk next.”

“Can I tell her about physics?”

Selma smiled and said, “Yes, I’m sure she’d love to hear about physics. Can you tell me about it right now, though? Grandma said you like it.”

“I do. It’s super fun. I get to do experiments.”

“What kind of experiments?”

“Ones where–”

There was a knock at her hotel room door.

“Gia, can you hold on one second for me?”

“Okay.”

Selma stood up and walked over to the door. She checked the peephole and noticed Drew standing there, not dressed in her snowboard stuff but in her jacket and a shirt under it. Selma swallowed and took a step back.

“Hey, Gia? Drew just got here. Want to say congratulations now?”

“What? Yes!”

Selma knew she was using her kid as a buffer, but she needed it right now, so she pulled open the door, and Drew gave her an awkward smile.

“You left without me,” she said.

“Gia’s on the phone. She wants to congratulate you.”

“Selma, we need to talk.” Drew tilted her head.

Selma covered the phone with her hand and said, “Can you just say hello to her, please? I’ll tell her to keep it quick.”

“Of course,” Drew replied.

Selma moved out of the way to let Drew into the room and said into the phone, “Gia, baby, no physics tonight. Just the congratulations, okay? Drew is… tired from the race.”

“Okay.”

Selma handed Drew the phone and sat on the end of the bed.

“Hey, Gia.” Drew paused to listen. “Yeah, I did. Your mom was awesome, too. It wasn’t her fault that she didn’t win.” She paused again as she walked over to lean against the wall-mounted desk across from Selma. “Thank you. What was that that I just heard about physics?” Selma gave her a wide-eyed expression, but Drew shook her off. “Yeah? Experiments? That’s awesome. You like it so far?”

Selma took Drew in. She was wearing a long-sleeved shirt under her jacket tonight, a pair of dark jeans, and her usual boots. Her hair looked freshly washed, so she must have showered quickly when she got back; unlike Selma, who had been lying around wallowing about being a moron with the woman she liked.

“Whoa! That’s so cool. Will you show me when I see you next?” Drew asked Gia.

Selma was in awe of this woman now. For all Drew knew, Selma wasn’t interested in dating her and they were about to have an awkward conversation, but she was still going to see Gia again. Selma leaned forward then and reached for Drew’s hand. Drew was confused at first, but when Selma took it and pulled Drew toward her, Drew didn’t look confused so much as surprised.

“Uh… Yeah. That’s great, Gia,” Drew said as Selma held their now-joined hands up between them and entwined their fingers, trying to tell Drew with that action that she’d been right about what Selma had wanted. “Yeah. Hey, Gia? Can I talk to you in a couple of days when I get home? I have to go now.”

Selma looked up and met Drew’s eyes.

“Yeah. I’ll give you back to your mom now, okay?”

Drew waited a second and handed Selma the phone.

“Hey, baby,” Selma said.

Drew’s hand, now free from the phone, moved to Selma’s cheek and gently cupped it. Selma tilted her head and leaned into the touch that she hadn’t known how much she’d needed.

“Mom, can I go back to my physics now?”

“Yes. I’ve got to go, anyway. I love you so much, baby. Tell Grandma I love her, too. And be good, okay? I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“I love you, too.”

Gia hung up, and Selma no longer had her daughter between the two of them and would have to be a mature adult and tell Drew what was going on.

“I’m bisexual,” she blurted out after she dropped her phone on the bed. “And I wanted to say yes to you, but I was so surprised that you were asking me out… I froze, Drew. Then, Andy was there, and I didn’t know what to say, so I stayed frozen.”

“You want to go out with me?” Drew checked.

“Yes,” she replied. “But you need to know something first.”

“Okay,” Drew said and ran her thumb over Selma’s lips.

“Oh, that felt really good,” Selma muttered more to herself than to Drew, but Drew smiled warmly down at her. “I’ve known I was attracted to women, too, since I was a teenager, but then, I had Gia, and I didn’t date for a long time. The only real relationship I’ve ever had was with a guy a few years ago. I’ve put her first, and I always will. You need to know that.”

“I already did. And I get it. Is that what you’re worried about?”

“No. I’ve never been with a woman, Drew,” she admitted. “This… what we’re doing right now – what we’ve been doing – is as much as I’ve ever done with one.”

“Okay.”

“I wanted you to know because–” Selma stopped then. “Wait. Okay?”

“Yeah, okay. What did you expect me to say?”

“I don’t know. That you’re no longer interested? That you want to take it slow or aren’t–”

“I will take it slow, but that’s not a requirement. I trust you, Selma. If we’re both into something and we’re ready for it, we talk about it, and we do it. If we’re not, we don’t. That goes for everything, not just sex. I don’t care that you haven’t been with a woman before. I like you. I think that’s pretty obvious by now.” Drew ran her thumb over Selma’s cheek. “You are so beautiful. I’ve wanted to say that to you for a while now.”

“We should go.”

“Go where?”

“Out.”

“Okay. When?”

“Now,” Selma replied.

“Now?”

“Yes, now. We leave tomorrow, and I don’t want to leave without us having gone on a real date, Drew.”

Drew smiled at her and said, “Okay. Then, let’s go.”