CHAPTER 1

Drew lined her board up in just the right spot, making sure it didn’t cross the line, and took a deep breath. This was, weirdly, her favorite part of snowboard cross. For most snowboarders, it would be the race itself or maybe right when they reached the finish line on a win, but for Drew, it was this part; it was the start. They didn’t have a lot of time up there. Each race of four to six boarders happened one right after the other, so it was just enough time to settle in and wait for the sound of the horn that would indicate it was time for her to take off. She supposed that was actually her favorite part: the sound, the take-off, the typical move over the first annoying berm that meant the board would dip down, and she’d have to get it right back up, land on the flat, packed snow, and then finally go down and into the real part of the race – that was all, strangely, Drew’s favorite part of the whole thing.

She’d been doing this for a while now. In fact, at age thirty-three, she was one of the oldest in the sport and definitely on Team USA. If she kept herself from getting injured, she’d have a chance at maybe one more Olympics, but that was a big if because she’d been nursing minor injuries ever since the major one she’d gotten leading up to the last Olympic Games that had taken her out of the running for a spot on the team. She’d misjudged a turn that she’d had no problem with previously during training and had ended up on her back after several flips. She’d bruised it pretty badly and had a sprained wrist, but Drew had still tried to work her butt off to heal up and get back on the team. She’d been a medal favorite and a likely gold medalist on top of that, but she’d missed out and had cheered her team on from her couch instead. The US had missed out on a medal altogether for the women, and the men had gotten a bronze. It was considered one of the most disappointing shows for the country because they’d been expected to medal in just about every snowboarding event.

Drew took another deep breath since she always took two before she bent down and held on. She looked ahead at the track she’d studied for hours upon hours and had raced before, moving slowly down it on her board to take in every tight turn, jump and the likely distance she’d be able to get, where she’d land, and how to get ready for the next turn or drop. She knew this course like the back of her hand, and while she hated that expression, she loved snowboard cross or boardercross as it was still called everywhere other than the Olympics.

She’d been on a snowboard for as long as she could remember. Her parents had been skiers – not competitively, but they’d loved skiing whenever they could – and once Drew was old enough to walk, they had her out on the snow with them. She’d never taken much to skiing, but as soon as she could stand on a board, they’d gotten her one, and she hadn’t looked back once, knowing since she was seven years old that this was what she wanted to do. No warnings from her supportive but practical parents could keep her away from her dream of making the Olympic Team and winning a medal.

This was the first preliminary round of her first Olympic Games, and Drew was going up against Italy, Canada, and Poland. She was ranked number two in the world, with only a boarder from Switzerland ahead of her, and Drew had beaten her twice this year and was on her way to hitting the number one ranking for only the second time in her career after coming back from that injury. If she came in first or second, which she should easily do, she’d be moving on to the next preliminary round, where, again, she’d have to place first or second. Then, she’d be in the semis, and another first or second finish would put her in the finals. She anticipated that final being comprised of herself, one of the Canadian racers, and probably the one lined up next to her right now, Switzerland, along with another US competitor, who was currently ranked fourth in the world.

Drew stared down the course, ready to go and focused on pulling herself back as far as she could, straining every muscle in her body in order to get the biggest jump out of the starting gate. The horn sounded, and Drew catapulted herself in the direction of the berm, hoping to catch it on the top and not get her board stuck in the ditch, losing precious time. She managed to make it, but the back of her board hovered in the air, so it was a little harder to move herself down over the hill. She was in third place now, so as much as Drew loved the starts, starts didn’t always love her. That was probably why she loved them to begin with. She’d own this start by the end of these Games, but for now, that was behind her, and she was going down the first medium-sized hill that would lead into a left turn.

Drew lowered her body as much as she could, tightening herself into a ball as much as possible to be as aerodynamic as she could be, and she passed the Polish boarder by the time she exited the first turn. The first jump was ahead, and she’d nailed this in training, so all she had to do was get as much air as possible and land where she could make it into the next turn with the best angle.

Drew got up into the jump well and scanned the snow for the spot she wanted. Without moving her head, she used her eyes to find the other boarders, seeing Italy to her left, getting higher than Drew, and Canada to her right, which was odd because Canada had just been on her left since Drew had been number one in the gate as the highest-ranked in the race. Somehow, Canada had moved to her right, though, so Drew needed to be on the lookout for her trying to make a move in the next turn. Poland was on the other side of Italy but had fallen behind a bit, so it wasn’t likely she was going to be able to make up enough time, but snowboard cross wasn’t like other snowboard competitions: it was a contact sport, or it could turn into one easily, and if someone messed up a turn or a jump and crashed, another athlete could easily cross the finish line first and move on.

Drew landed well and turned her board just in time to get the inside track for the next turn, which catapulted her into first place. Next up, she’d have three berms in a row, which meant that her body was about to be put through it. She’d go up, land on flat snow, push herself down, and do that two more times before it was time for another turn that would lead to another jump. She’d have three more turns before the final air that would take her down to the finish line. In the lead now, she only needed to keep her focus and make sure no one tried to pass. As a rule, she couldn’t block or prevent any racer from doing that, so she needed to keep her speed up.

On the third berm, Drew caught the lip of the board but managed to get herself out of the mess and down into the turn, still in the lead. By the time she made it to the second to last turn, she only had Canada racing with her. Italy and Poland had fallen behind somewhere, and Drew couldn’t see them, which meant she’d be moving on. Then, she felt it: going into the left turn, the racer at her right clipped Drew’s board. She tried to keep it straight, but the boarder fell behind her, catching Drew by the leg and the board now, and they both toppled over into the snow. Drew landed on her face and turned her head as it remained in the snow because she knew. The other two boarders flew past them around the turn. She’d never catch them. Her Olympics was over before it even began.

“Shit. I’m so sorry,” Canada said.

Drew knew her name. She knew the names of all the racers here. But now, that no longer mattered because Drew’s Olympic Games were over, and she’d be going home without a medal of any color. She’d flown all the way around the world, put her body through hell, had given up just about everything else in her life in order to get here, and in under a minute, her dreams were dashed. She’d now have to pick herself up and finish the race because she might be done, but Drew was no quitter.

She didn’t say anything to the other racer. She just got back up on her board and made sure she was still strapped in properly before she pushed herself into the turn, feeling sore in her calf and hamstring but deciding to deal with that later because it didn’t matter right now. She was done. Her next competition wasn’t for weeks, so she’d have time to heal. And that was a competition she’d won four times. She’d won all of them at least once, if not multiple times. This one, though, the Olympics, was the one she’d never even gotten to compete in, and now, it was over.

“Honey, are you okay?” her mom asked when Drew went over to her as she stood alongside her father behind the rope.

“Physically?”

“Yes,” her mom said.

Drew removed her helmet and goggles and tried to catch her breath.

“I think so.”

“I’m so sorry, Drew,” her dad added and pulled her in for a hug.

“Yeah, me too,” she replied, not knowing what to do next.

There was a reporter trying to get her attention, but Drew couldn’t talk right now. She was too devastated to talk. She hadn’t lost the race; someone else had lost it for her. Yes, that was the sport, but unless there was some foul committed by the other racer, there was no chance of Drew moving on. And judging by the looks in her parents’ eyes, that hadn’t happened.

“She clipped my board,” Drew told them.

“We know. She tripped on something, or her board got caught. That’s how it looked on the screen.” Her mom pulled her in for a hug after her dad let her go. “I wish I could tell you that she tried to pass illegally.”

“I know. Me too,” Drew admitted. “Andy is up next. I was going to wait here for her. Now, I want to run away.”

“Oh, honey. You should be here when she finishes,” her mom suggested.

“I know,” she agreed, knowing that her mother was right.

Drew decided to move to the other side of the rope and wait for her girlfriend, who also raced for Team USA and was up next. Andy was twenty-six and ranked tenth in the world. She wasn’t expected to medal here, but given that one of the people who had been expected to medal was now out, and anything could happen, Andy could very well end up on the podium. Drew would cheer her on if that were to happen, of course, but not being up there herself would be incredibly difficult.

“Drew, can we get a moment?” the reporter asked.

“Not right now, please,” Drew replied. “I need to watch Andy race.”

“How are you feeling?” the reporter still pressed, trying to push the microphone between her parents, who moved together to block the woman’s path to Drew.

“Come on… After. Please. You know how I’m feeling,” Drew told her. “I’m devastated. But my girlfriend is about to race, so I need to be here to support her. Just give me a few minutes, okay? Go interview Italy and Poland, who are moving on or something.”

Drew didn’t even care that she was being rude. She knew this woman had a job to do, but she herself hadn’t even processed yet what it meant for her to be out of the competition. She was still holding her helmet in her hand as if she’d be racing later that day. Instead, she’d have the option to go home much earlier than she’d expected. She supposed that would depend on how well Andy did because Drew wasn’t going to go home if her girlfriend was still racing, so she angled her eyes up to the big screen that the people down at the bottom watched in order to see the whole race.

Drew looked over, noticing the Canadian racer, who had ended her dream of medaling at these Games, and saw her hugging a guy who looked to be about her age, so not her father; maybe a brother or a significant other. While Drew saw most of these racers throughout the season and knew their names, she usually didn’t know much else about them unless they were friends as well. She had no idea if that woman had a brother, a boyfriend, or a husband, and at this point, she didn’t care. She returned her attention to the screen and watched the racers, including her girlfriend, line up. The horn sounded, and Andy took off, along with the Swiss boarder, who was ranked number one in the world, a German racer, and a British one. The German was seventh in the world, and the Brit was thirteenth, so if Andy ran the race well, she could make it through, but it would be tough. So far, Andy had landed everything well in the top half, and Drew watched her slide into second place behind the Swiss.

“Come on, babe,” Drew said to herself as her mom took her hand in solidarity, and her dad nodded along as if the nods would help Andy win her race.

When the final big air jump came, Andy was in third, but she landed well, so it would come down to her and the German.

“Come on. Come on, Andy!” Drew yelled this time.

Andy lowered herself just a little more than the German and took the right line. She made it through microseconds before the other racer. Drew raised her hands in the air and moved back to the other side of the rope. She’d lost her board before Andy’s race, so she ran to her and pulled the woman in for a hug.

“Congrats, babe!”

“Thanks,” Andy said. “Drew, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. What–”

“It’s okay,” she lied. “You’re through. You’re through,” she said twice for some reason.

Then, Drew looked over Andy’s shoulder and saw the racer who had taken her out of the Olympic Games looking back at her. She looked sad and disappointed, but Drew wasn’t sure if that was because her own Olympics was over or because she’d ended Drew’s, too. After a second of staring, the woman turned and walked off.