Chapter Four

~ Miko ~

I instantly realized I shouldn't have asked that question when Jos's lips flattened out and anger flashed in his eyes. I didn't understand these Americans. I felt as if I was floating along, but slowly sinking.

I was positive I was going to drown any second now.

"Apologies," I said as I dropped my gaze and gave a quick bow. "Forgive my impertinence. I meant no disrespect."

I really should have kept my mouth shut. If Jos took it upon himself to punish me for my insolence, he could do some serious damage. His hands were the size of dinner plates.

"Miko, do you know why you are here?"

"Yes," I replied. "Father is here."

Jos's eyes narrowed. "Is that the only reason?"

I swallowed nervously. There was an answer here, but damned if I knew what it was. "I no understand."

Thank god English was my second language. While I spoke it fluently, Jos did not know that. I could play dumb for the time being.

Jos's expression didn't grow any less angry.

I took a cautious step back.

"Do you know what happened in Monty's office, Miko? What papers you signed?"

I shook my head.

"Christ on a crutch!" Jos whipped off his cowboy hat and then thrust his hand over the top of his nearly bald head. "None of this was explained to you?"

I squinted. I wasn't sure what answer Jos wanted and I wanted to give the one that would keep me from being punished.

I kept my mouth shut.

It was safer.

"Come on, we need to go talk to Monty."

I cringed when Jos grabbed me by the arm and started pulling me up the steps. Fear curled up in my gut and started knotting. I quickly ran over the ways I could keep from being punished, but I didn't see any.

I'd been disrespectful. I'd asked questions when I knew it was forbidden. I'd obviously missed something that had happened when we were in Monty's office. I just didn't know what.

My heart beat painfully in my chest as Jos led me into the house and back toward my father's office. The closer we got, the more trepidation knotted in my gut. My steps slowed before we reached the door.

Jos stopped and turned to look down at me. His brow furrowed as if he was thinking hard. "Miko?"

"Yes?" I whispered, afraid to speak louder, but more afraid not to answer.

Jos gave a tug on my arm. I doubt he understood his true strength. I stumbled forward, right into his chest. Heat blossomed in my face as I tried to step back, but an arm around my waist kept me pressed up against him.

"There's no reason to be scared." Jos's voice rumbled even when he spoke in a low tone. "I won't let anyone hurt you. I'll protect you."

Yes, but who would protect me from him?

"It's gonna be okay, Miko. We just need to go talk with Monty."

I nodded, but I didn't believe a word of what Jos said. I just didn't see a way out of walking into my father's office.

Jos knocked on the door and then opened it up. His hand pressed firmly against the base of my back as he escorted me inside. I prayed he couldn't feel the small shiver of dread that rippled through me. I'd learned very early in life to never show anyone my fear. That simply led to more punishment.

"Monty, we need to talk," Jos said as he shut the door behind us.

I almost whimpered.

"Miko doesn't have a clue about what happened today," Jos continued. "He doesn't even realize he's here to stay."

"What in the blue blazes are you talking about, boy?"

Holy crap, that man was loud.

"He just asked me if this was where he was going to be living."

I swallowed past the lump building in my throat when both men turned to look at me. It took all of my self control not to take a step back.

"Is this true, Mitsuaki?" Monty asked.

God, what would work to keep me from having my head handed to me? "I mean no disrespect."

Monty frowned.

"Miko," Jos asked carefully, "the papers you signed today, do you know what you were signing?"

I glanced between the two men. My apprehension grew as I slowly shook my head. "I was told to sign." That's how it always went. "It is not my place to ask questions."

Jos's jaw clenched. "You just signed because you were told to?"

I took a slow measured step back. "Yes."

"Why would you do that?"

Was this a test?

"Jesus, Miko," Jos snapped. "You never sign anything without reading it first."

My eyes crinkled at the corners as I frowned. "Mr. Sato told me to sign."

Did he not understand that? Mr. Sato might have been my grandfather's loyal servant, but he was as traditional as the rest of my family. He didn't like me and he never had. He accepted me because he had to. I was positive he was practically gleeful that I was finally gone.

Everyone else in my family was.

"I don't care who it is," Jos replied in a cold, clipped tone. "You know what you're signing before you sign."

I glanced at Monty before slowly nodding at Jos. "Yes, sir."

Jos growled as he tossed his hands up in the air and stormed over to stare out the window. I watched him go, my confusion growing by the second.

"Mitsuaki—"

I glanced back at my father. "Miko, please."

I didn't like the name Mitsuaki. It's what the rest of my grandfather's family called me. Only my grandfather referred to me as Miko, and since he was the only one I loved, I preferred that name.

"Miko, then," Monty said. "The papers you signed today, you were signing your marriage certificate."

"Marriage certificate?" It wasn't a foreign word to me, but it felt like it was. "Who did I marry?"

"Me." Jos spun around and pinned his angry eyes on me. "You married me."

Several things suddenly settled into place in my mind, things I hadn't connected before. The papers I'd sighed. The strange words the judge had spoken right here in this very office. The reason I'd been made to bring all my worldly possessions when I left Japan. The strange possessiveness I saw in Jos's blue eyes every time he looked at me.

For a moment, my shoulders slumped as despair swept through every fiber of my being. Once again, decisions were being made for my life that I had no control over. Once again, no one was asking me what I wanted, what I needed, or even if I was okay with whatever decisions had been made.

There was nothing I could do about it now, just like there had been nothing I could do about the thousands of decisions that had been made for me throughout my entire life.

I squared my shoulders and lifted my head. "Okay."

Jos's eyebrows rose swiftly. "Okay? Is that all you have to say?"

I shifted nervously.

"Okay, okay," Monty said. "Let's just all sit down and talk this over. Its obvious Miko is missing some key information. Unfortunately, what's done is done. Walter already filed the paperwork, and it will take a whole mess of stuff to change it. Maybe we can all just come to an agreement of sorts."

When Monty gestured to one of the chairs in front of his desk, I quickly sat down. I sat stiffly with my hands folded together in my lap, my head bent down.

Jos crossed his arms as he leaned back against the windowsill. His stance was imposing and just a tad bit scary. "Miko, did you not understand what was happening when we said our marriage vows?"

Honestly, no I hadn't.

"No, sir."

"Just Jos. Not sir."

I nodded once.

"Do you know what the word husband means?"

"Of course," I replied. "A husband is a male in a marital relationship, who may also be referred to as a spouse or a partner."

At least, that's what the English-Japanese dictionary said it meant.

"So, when the judge pronounced us husband and husband, that didn't concern you?"

Uh, I hadn't actually been paying attention to that part. I was too busy watching the lawyer to see if he was going to be upset with me because the judge refused to accept his answer for whatever question he had ask.

Looking back, I realized exactly what the judge had been asking and why he needed my verbal agreement before he could proceed. Now, I wish I had been paying better attention.

I lifted my head and glanced over to Jos. "We are really married?"

"We are."

Well, damn.

"Apologies," I said as I bent my head again, but continued to watch Jos through my thick lashes. "I—"

"Stop." Jos huffed as he held up a hand. "Just stop. You don't have to keep apologizing. You didn't do anything wrong."

What did that matter? Punishment came whether I was in the wrong or not. Only by remembering my training could I avoid punishment.

"A few weeks ago, your grandfather contacted me," Monty said. "That's when I learned about you. Before then, I had no idea I had fathered a child."

I couldn't keep back my gasp as I swung my head around. "You did not know of me?"

"No, I did not."

That explained so much, and not enough.

"I always wondered why you never came for me after my mother died or why you never visited. I guess I thought you knew."

Certainly no one had ever explained it to me, not even my grandfather.

"I met your mother while I was in the service. When my father got sick, I flew home to see him. Unfortunately, he died while I was here and I was unable to return to Japan. I had hoped your mother could join me here, but, for whatever reason, she stopped returning my phone calls and my letters came back undelivered. After awhile, I figured she wanted nothing to do with me and I stopped trying."

I knew the answer to this.

"She was taken to the family compound when it was discovered that she carried me," I explained. "Her access to the outside world was..." How to say this without it sounding horrible? "Curtailed."

Jos grunted.

Monty squinted at me. "They didn't allow her out?"

"No, sir. She stayed inside the compound until I was born. After her death, she was cremated and all references to her were removed as to not bring light to her shame."

"Her shame?" Jos snapped. "What shame?"

I winced as I glanced up at the tall man. I stared for a moment before looking back down at my lap, twisting my fingers together. "Me."

"What the fuck?" Jos sprang up from his position against the window. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

I frowned as fear swamped me, followed almost instantly by my confusion. I glanced at Monty, who seemed the calmer of the two men. "You do not have this in America?"

"Have what, Miko?" Monty asked.

"Sha—" I snapped my lips together when Jos growled.

Monty shot him a dirty look.

"Continue with what you were saying, Miko," Monty insisted. "What don't we have here?"

I shot a quick look at Jos. The tight set of his jaw did not reassure me. "Bastard children," I said instead. Jos didn't seem to like the word shame.

"Christ!" Jos dropped his head back to stare up at the ceiling.

"Did I get the word wrong?" I wished I had my dictionary with me. Sometimes the words did not translate like I thought.

"A bastard is usually defined as a child born out of wedlock, Miko," Monty explained. "And we do have them here in America, probably more than you have in Japan. It just doesn't have the same stigma here."

Jos snorted.

I had no idea why.

"You said after your mother died, all references to her were removed as to not bring light to her shame. Can you explain that?"

I could try.

"Her name was stricken from the family records. Her pictures were burned along with all of her possessions. Speaking her name or mentioning her in any form was forbidden." I dropped my gaze to my lap again when tears sprouted up. It was several moments—and a lot of blinking—before I could look up. I drew in a slow, shaky breath as I met Monty's eyes. "I don't even know what she looked like. I have never seen a picture of her."

"Would you like to?"

I sucked in a painful breath. "You have a picture of my mother?"

"I have several." Monty stood up and walked to the bookshelf. He grabbed one of the books and pulled, a small section of the bookshelf, including several books, came away, revealing a safe.

He pulled a necklace out from inside his shirt and removed a small silver key. He fit it into the safe door.

Monty pulled the door open and then reached inside. When he turned back, he held a black box in his hand. He carried it over to his desk and sat down again. When he pulled the lid off the box, I realized an album was inside.

Monty pulled it out and laid it on his desk as if it was made of the crown jewels. He opened the front cover and then began carefully flipping through the pages. I saw several black and white photographs before he stopped turning the pages.

I swallowed tightly when Monty flipped the photo album around and I saw the picture of a much younger Monty holding a small Japanese woman in his arms. He was staring down at her with his heart in his eyes. She had her head tilted back, her eyes closed.

"That's my favorite picture of Akari."

I gasped when I heard my mother's name mentioned for the first time. My grandfather and I had talked about her in secret, but her name was never mentioned. He just referred to her as my mother.

"She was beautiful," I murmured as I stared at the woman who had given me life. I didn't know what I had expected, but I suddenly understood why everyone said I looked just like her. We were almost the spitting image of each other, one male and one female. It also helped explain why her side of the family seemed to hate me so much.

"She was like an exotic butterfly." Monty sounded almost wistful as he spoke. "So beautiful and so delicate, but able to fly away on gossamer wings."

I wasn't sure about all of that, but she was beautiful.

"She looks happy."

"We were happy together," Monty said. "Which was why I was so confused when she stopped taking my calls or answering my letters. I thought we'd get married one day."

"That's why." My father at least deserved an explanation. "Her hand was promised to one of the Kaneko family's business associates. When she admitted that she was pregnant with me, it was decided that I would be put up for adoption when I was born and the marriage would continue as planned."

"If you were supposed to be put up for adoption, then how did you end up with your grandfather?" Jos asked. "Why weren't you put up for adoption? Especially if they considered you your mother's shame?"

"The marriage was not a choice my grandfather wanted, but he is second son. His brother makes decisions for family. When his daughter died, I was all my grandfather had left of her. He fought to keep me."

Sometimes, I wished he hadn't.

"Then why are you here now?"

"Grandfather is gone," I answered honestly. "It is no longer safe for me in Japan."

I wasn't sure there was any safe place.