Chapter Three

CHAPTER THREE

C AL ' S SENSE OF dread sure as hell hadn't lessened even though he had one thing checked off his list. He'd delivered the breakup news to Charlotte, and while he'd still need to make sure she was handling it all right, for now he had to do some handling of his own life.

Yeah, there definitely was that sense of dread.

Normally, the drive past the Saddlebrook pastures would fix any crap mood, but that was asking way too much of horses, cows and pretty spring grass. He'd hoped the sight of it would anchor him. No such luck. Anchoring apparently wasn't in the cards for him today, either.

Might never be.

A truly dismal thought that made him want to give himself a kick in his own ass. But that kind of kick required a hell of a lot more resolve than he was feeling at the moment.

He took the turn onto the ranch road, and the house came into view. Home. He'd been raised here, and it would always be special to him, but he knew that most people just saw the massive size of the place. White, two stories and with a wraparound porch, it was about sixty feet wide and had around ten thousand square feet inside. That meant it was bigger than some office buildings, and Cal wasn't exactly sure how many rooms it had. Plenty was always his dad's answer when he asked.

Since he was already in a pisser of a dark mood, he didn't get the usual images of him and his siblings as kids running and playing in the massive yard. Or riding the ranch's prized Andalusian horses in the pastures. Instead, he got a flash of his mom, of her dying when he was six years old.

She'd died in this home sweet home after losing her battle with cancer. Sometimes, Cal could still recall the sound of her voice. Her scent. Her smile. But not today. Apparently, his mind couldn't head in the direction of those good things. It was lingering on the last glimpse of her too pale, too thin face. A face that, he realized now, was etched with worry not for herself but for what would become of her four young children and her husband.

Cal liked to believe his mom would be damn proud of her kids. They'd all had decorated military careers. Had all excelled. Had lived up to the sky-high standards of the Donnelly name.

He was about to give those standards a proverbial black eye, though.

"Shit," he muttered when he saw what was on the front porch.

Or rather who was on it. Pretty much everybody in his gene pool, which meant they either knew he was coming or else this was some kind of impromptu family gathering.

Egan and his megapregnant wife, Alana. Blue and Marin were back from their jaunt into town, too, and they had their adopted seven-year-old son, Leo, with them, who must have been off from school because of some holiday. His Grammy Effie was staying in the shade of the porch with Maybell right next to her.

Front and center was his dad, and Audrey had clearly made it back as well, as she was by his side. Cal knew their marriage was going through a serious rocky patch because of some personal issues they were dealing with. Thirty years ago, shortly after Cal's mother had died, Audrey had had a one-off with Cal's dad, Derek, and had gotten pregnant. Audrey had not only kept the pregnancy from Derek, but she'd also given up the child for adoption.

Cal wondered if his own news would only add to that rockiness.

Most were all smiles when Cal parked and stepped from the truck. Leo even bolted off the porch to run and give him the first hug.

"Uncle Cal," he gushed with all the enthusiasm of a kid on a sugar high. "We get to eat cookies now that you're here."

"Sounds good to me," Cal assured him, and wondered how many of those cookies Leo had already sampled.

With Leo right by his side and chattering about lemonade and maybe nachos, too, Cal made his way to the porch and was engulfed in more hugs. This time from Effie and Maybell, followed by his brothers and their significant others. The smiles stayed in place, but Cal couldn't help but notice that they were tentative.

Audrey wasn't even attempting one.

She had on her general's face, which told Cal loads. She knew why he'd come home. Then again, maybe the slight edge of gloom and doom and cautious looks were because they were waiting to see how he was handling what had happened to Harper. He wasn't handling it well, and they would all soon know that.

"Something you want to tell us?" Blue came out and asked.

Cal glanced at Audrey to try to figure out if she'd already spilled his news, but in addition to a general's face, she also had a poker one.

"Yeah," Cal verified, and since that heat couldn't be good for his dad, Grammy or Maybell, he motioned for them to go inside. Nachos, cookies and lemonade weren't going to soften this particular blow, but those kind of treats wouldn't hurt, either.

Cal opened the front door, but no one else moved. Well, no one but Leo. The boy bolted inside, no doubt heading for the kitchen.

"So it's true?" his dad asked. "You're engaged to Charlotte Wilson?"

Cal nearly tripped on the single step he had taken inside. "What?" he managed to say.

Apparently, there was enough surprise in his voice and expression for the gathering to take some breaths of relief and to stop looking at him as if he'd grown a second nose.

"I knew it couldn't be true," his grandmother said. "Charlotte is Noah's girl, and I knew you wouldn't poach on a friend like that."

Cal mentally stumbled this time, and he decided to do some backtracking. "Who told you I was engaged to Charlotte?"

Effie whipped out her phone. "Six people texted me."

"I got a couple of texts, too," Maybell piped up.

"So did I," Alana contributed. "I was pretty sure it wasn't true, but I figured I'd hold off texting Charlotte and just ask you when you got home. Audrey had let us all know you'd be coming for a surprise visit."

Well, it clearly wasn't much of a surprise, but that explained how they'd known he was on the way. Soon, very soon, he'd have to address that part with them about the real reason he was home, but for now, he had another question.

"Who said I was engaged to Charlotte?" he asked, directing that at Alana.

"Apparently, Mr. Becker was in the feed store, and he mentioned it. I figured he just had it all wrong..."

Her words trailed off when Cal groaned, and he hoped like hell that someone hadn't filled Becker in on Charlotte not being his fiancée because it could cause the old coot to back out of the deal. It was obvious to Cal that Port in a Storm was important to Charlotte. Heck, it'd be important to Noah and his dad as well since it would give Alden a place to heal.

Ditto for Harper.

But that wasn't something he could think about right now. Best to clear this up. Well, clear it up as much as he could.

"Noah had to leave earlier than expected for a deployment, and he knew I was heading home, so he asked me to tell Charlotte that he was breaking up with her," Cal spelled out.

The news surprised exactly no one. Which in itself was a surprise. There were some shrugs and sounds of acknowledgment. From everyone but Effie and Maybell, anyway.

"But Izzie and Taggert are dating," his grandmother said, "and everyone who's got eyes and ears knows plain well that Izzie wants Taggert to ask her to marry him, and then she can make it a double wedding with Noah and Charlotte."

Alana rolled her eyes. "Charlotte hasn't even seen Noah in a year, and it's obvious from some of the pictures he posts on social media that he doesn't consider their relationship to be exclusive."

Cal hadn't seen such pictures, but he knew for certain that Noah hadn't lived the monk's life over the years. There'd been other women. Lots of them, actually. Cal had thought, though, that those were just flings and that Charlotte was the love of Noah's life.

Apparently not.

"Ah," Alana said as if she'd just had a light-bulb moment. "You went in to give Charlotte Noah's message, and Mr. Becker was with her. Becker's being a turd and won't sell to a single woman, so Charlotte pretended you two were engaged."

"Got it in one," Cal confirmed. "Charlotte asked me to keep the pretense a secret until the sale is a done deal." He frowned. "It will be a done deal, right?"

Alana lifted her shoulder, nibbled on her bottom lip for a moment. "Maybe. Egan and I would have bought the place and in turn sold it to Charlotte, but Becker won't do business with us. He doesn't seem to hold the same grudge against you as he does Egan and your dad."

"Becker won't sell it to me, either," Blue added. "I guess because he figures it'll end up in Charlotte's hands, too, and he doesn't want her to have the place as long as she's single." He stared at Cal. "Apparently, in Becker's warped mind, Charlotte being single is worse than being wed to you."

"Apparently," Cal agreed. "Because he didn't nix the sale when he realized who her fiancé was." At least the man hadn't done that when they'd been face-to-face.

Egan huffed. "According to a couple of the texts I got, Becker was asking around to find out if you were an asshole." He whispered that last word, probably in case Leo was still in earshot. "You got resounding good-guy endorsements from everyone."

Cal lifted an eyebrow. "Endorsements even though an engagement to Charlotte would mean poaching on a friend?"

That brought on more shrugs and another eye roll from Alana, who continued. "Most people understand if Noah and Charlotte were ever going to marry, they would have done it by now. They're thirty-six, for heaven's sake, and have been in a holding pattern for more than two decades. I think people might be relieved that Charlotte has finally moved on. Or rather believe that she's finally moved on," Alana amended. "How'd she handle the breakup with Noah?"

"Better than I expected," Cal admitted. He'd thought there'd be tears. Then again, if Alana had seen those social-media pictures, then Charlotte probably had as well, so maybe she'd understood a breakup was inevitable.

"Good," Alana muttered. "I'll give her a call and see how she's doing."

"I think Cal has something to tell us first," Audrey said when Alana took out her phone.

That sent all eyes back to Cal, and even though Audrey was giving him an admonishing look, Cal didn't do the same to her. No need. The decision he'd made had nothing to do with Audrey.

Again, Cal motioned for them to all go inside, and this time, they listened. They all filed in, not heading to the kitchen, where Leo likely was, but instead Cal led them into the family room. There were rooms closer, but those were more formal, better suited for parties and guests. He preferred the more casual space, surrounded by photos of the family. And surrounded he was. They lined the mantel of the large fireplace, were positioned on end tables and hanging on the walls.

You could never forget you were a Donnelly in this room.

Cal purposely didn't go to the center of the room or in front of the fireplace. He just stopped by the long leather sofas that faced each other, turned to look at his family and got started.

"I'm on thirty days' leave," he stated, after he took a long, deep breath. "But I also plan on putting in my separation papers." That got a blank look from all but Egan, Blue and Audrey. "I'm getting out of the Air Force," he spelled out.

That got the expected responses. Blank looks, followed by wide eyes and mutters of what the hell? sentiments. His dad was the first to voice that sentiment aloud.

"Jesus, Cal. You can't do that. You're a decorated fighter pilot. A hero. You'll be a damn general before you've got your twenty years in."

That all sounded similar to what Charlotte had said to convince Becker that he was a good guy. But Cal wasn't feeling it, and he tried to put this in a way that his family would understand.

"I'm tired," he admitted, "and I never wanted to be one of those ROAD guys. Retired on Active Duty," he spelled out for the nonmilitary folks. "I need a change. I need to be home," he added.

Hell. Effie had tears in her eyes, and Maybell's mouth was still open. The others were just giving him does-not-compute stares to go along with their blank expressions.

"Cal has a flawless record and will definitely be a general in a few years," Audrey finally said, and each word was dripping with disappointment for him. "You're throwing away chances that people would..." She stopped, thankfully not finishing that with the cliché of die for . "You have people who'll support you. People who'll help you get through this, and one day you'll be a fine general. You've got it all, Cal. Don't waste the gifts you've been given."

He'd figured that would be Audrey's opinion. Especially since she considered herself his guardian angel, a military way of saying sponsor . Audrey was behind him one hundred percent in his climb up the ranks.

"Audrey, I'll always be thankful for your support," he said, "but I need to be home."

The facial expressions in the room changed some. The looks softened, and there were some sighs. Sighs that alerted Cal of what was to come.

"This is about Harper," Egan was the first to say. But they were probably all thinking it.

And, hell, they were right.

It was about Harper, but not solely. It was about the kind of man he'd become. The kind who had climbed, climbed and climbed and not given a thought as to the consequences. That didn't make him a good man, and it sure as hell didn't make him a hero.

"You can't blame yourself for what happened to Harper," Audrey insisted.

"I can blame myself for not seeing there was a problem, that she needed help," Cal was quick to answer. "If I hadn't been so focused on besting her, she might not have ended up like this."

And the grief came. Battering him in hard waves that made him feel sick. But Audrey either wasn't picking up on that or she was too focused on getting him to change his mind.

"Harper didn't let anyone know there was a problem," Audrey argued. "If she had, lots of people would have helped her. You can't help fix a problem if you don't know it exists."

"I should have known it existed," Cal argued right back. "Thirty-eight texts," he threw out there. "That's how many messages I got from Harper just in the month prior..." He stopped. Had to. "Prior to Harper attempting to end her life. I should have seen something was off. I should have realized she was too driven and that all those messages were a cry for help."

Audrey huffed. "You're a damn fine officer, Cal, but you don't have ESP. I read those texts," she added.

Cal was certain the surprise flashed in his eyes, but it shouldn't have. There had been an investigation after Harper's suicide attempt a month ago, and Cal had turned over all those messages to the investigation board along with giving a statement.

"There was nothing in the texts that would have clued you in that Harper had spiraled down," Audrey continued. "You couldn't have stopped her."

Cal didn't voice what he knew in his heart. Yeah, he could have stopped her if he hadn't been doing all that damn climbing.

"Uh, who's Harper?" Marin asked. "Sorry," she muttered. "But remember, I'm not from Emerald Creek."

Cal waited for someone to fill her in, and when no one did, he went for it. "Lieutenant Colonel Harper Johansen. I went to school with her, and we joined the Air Force at the same time."

He and Harper had done plenty at the same time. Not together, though, but as competitors. They'd gone to pilot school together with Cal earning the top graduate place and Harper just a breath behind him at number two. They'd both gotten fighter jets, and when they'd met in various air shows and competitions over the years, Cal had always managed to best her, barely. They had both made rank early, and Harper had been on that fast track right along with him.

Until a month ago.

"Harper left a suicide note and drove her car off a bridge and into a lake," Audrey explained to Marin. "Someone rescued her, but she sustained a lot of injuries. Head trauma, multiple broken bones and a damaged larynx. She's still in the hospital and not expected to make a full recovery. From what I understand, she'll be medically discharged from the military."

There it was. All spelled out. Mostly, anyway.

"Did you read the note?" Cal asked Audrey.

The slight tightening of Audrey's mouth confirmed that she had. "What happened wasn't your fault."

"Harper thought it was," Cal pointed out.

He glanced at his family. No way was he going to spell out the exact words in that note, but Harper had made sure that he knew she blamed him for her mental breakdown.

"Mercy," Marin muttered. "I'm so sorry."

Cal nodded to let her know he appreciated that. It didn't really help, but since nothing would, Cal preferred Marin's sentiment to Audrey's. She was clearly still seething that he was about to chuck in a fourteen-year career.

The silence came while everyone was trying to process this and maybe also trying to figure out what to say. Thankfully, no one had to come up with anything because Cal's phone rang. He'd never been so happy about an interruption in his life. His relief faded a bit when he saw Charlotte's name on the display, but even she was a welcome distraction.

"I need to take this," Cal insisted, hurrying out of the family room. He didn't answer until he'd gone a few rooms over. One of those fancy rooms for guests where he might have a moment to compose himself.

"Cal, I'm so sorry," Charlotte said the moment he accepted the call. "Have you heard about Becker's conversation at the feed store?"

"I have. A few people texted my family."

Charlotte groaned. "I'm so sorry," she repeated.

"Don't worry about it. I explained things to them." Though his other news had way overshadowed rumors of an engagement to Noah's girl . "What about Becker? Any idea if he knows the fiancé thing is a lie?"

"I don't know." There was a thick, frantic edge to her voice. "I tried to call him, but he doesn't have a cell phone, and I guess he's not back home yet. He doesn't have an answering machine on his landline so I can't even let him know I need to talk to him." She groaned again. "Becker will nix the sale if he even suspects I lied to him."

By the time Charlotte made it to that last sentence, he could hear the worry growing by leaps and bounds. This wasn't just the sale of a ranch. It was about a future she wanted to create to help people. Not compete with them. Not ignore their problems.

But help.

And at that moment, Cal knew what he had to do. He'd screwed up plenty of things, but he wouldn't allow a screwup on this.

"No, Becker won't nix the sale," Cal heard himself say. "Because we'll convince him and everybody else in Emerald Creek that we're engaged."