24. Grace

Chapter 24

Grace

-Burn it to the Ground- Nickelback-

Ambrose arrived about an hour ago, not long after my mates went to Nicolai’s pack. The air tingles with an electric charge, sending shivers down my spine as I sense something stirring. Why else would Ambrose be here? I know exactly why. It’s an intuition, a gut feeling, that twists and turns within me.

I’m home alone with Lorcan and Barrett. The silence in the house feels heavy, amplifying every creak and rustle. My heartbeat quickens, a rhythmic drumming in my ears, as I try to decipher the reason for Ambrose’s unexpected visit.

“Grace, do you want tea?” Ruby’s voice breaks through the tension, her presence a welcome distraction. I turn to see her poking her head into the family room, her eyes darting between me and Ambrose. He’s sitting on the floor, surrounded by the three pups, his laughter filling the room. The scent of freshly brewed tea wafts in, mingling with the warmth of the fireplace, creating a comforting cocoon amidst the uncertainty.

“No thank you,” I murmur, the hair on the back of my neck prickling. The air seems charged with an unspoken tension, a palpable reminder of the recent events. My actions have left a mark, a visceral aftermath that still lingers in the collective memory of the elders. They’ve convened thrice now, deliberating over my fate while the forest slowly heals from the chaos I wrought.

Nestled within the safety of my home, flanked by two mates and our loyal friend Ambrose, I find a semblance of peace. He moves effortlessly among my offspring, his laughter a soothing balm to my frayed nerves. Despite the weight of my past deeds, his presence offers a respite, a temporary reprieve from the ever-present sense of foreboding.

“Ambrose? Would you like anything?” Ruby asks him and I watch his reaction.

Since I almost lost myself to my wolf, everything is heightened. I feel my mate’s heartbeats as if they are my own, each pulse syncing with mine in a rhythmic dance of connection. My children’s heartbeats thrum along with mine, a symphony of life echoing in my veins. The nine of them feel like phantom limbs of mine, their presence tangible yet intangible, a part of me no matter where they are. I know where each of them is and the mood they are in, their emotions painting vivid strokes in the canvas of my consciousness.

Today’s meeting has set Ethan, Nicolai, and Griffin off, their energies vibrating with intensity, sparking like flint against steel. Conrad feels reserved, his aura cloaked in contemplation, his thoughts weaving intricate patterns in the fabric of his being, distinct from his more fiery siblings.

“No, thank you Ruby. I appreciate it.” He says with a smile as Deacon’s pup flops onto the floor while Ashina and Nina’s pups run laps around the interior of the family room.

“Are you okay, Grace?” Ambrose’s blue eyes turn on me now, piercing through the air like icy daggers. His gaze almost sets my wolf on edge, every nerve tingling under the weight of his scrutiny.

“Define okay.” I reply, the words slipping out before I can stop them. I lean back against Lorcan, feeling the solid warmth of his body behind me on the couch cushion. His hands find their place on my shoulders, fingers pressing into tense muscles and releasing knots with expert precision. The sensation sends shivers down my spine, a soothing balm to the chaos swirling within.

“My babies are safe, my mates are safe, and so is my pack,” I continue, the words flowing with a mix of relief and exhaustion. “It’s all I can ask for at the moment.” It’s a non-answer, a deflective shield to hide the true turmoil beneath the surface. But for now, it will have to do.

He shakes his head, his eyes fixed on me with a piercing intensity. “You’re not okay, Grace. I can see it in your eyes.” His gaze feels like a weight, pressing down on me, dissecting every thought.

He tilts his head, his scrutiny unwavering, as if he’s peeling back layers of my soul. I shiver under his gaze, feeling exposed, as though he’s unraveling the very fabric of my being.

A deep rumbling growl simmers within me, reverberating through my chest. It’s primal, instinctual—the wolf inside me protesting, refusing to be questioned. It stirs, restless and protective, sensing a threat in his probing scrutiny.

“Barrett, take the children,” I snarl, my voice a low growl that reverberates through the room. Every word feels like gravel in my throat as I fight against the primal urge to shift. My muscles tense and quiver, battling with the beast that rages within me.

The memories flood back, vivid and raw. I can feel the forest around me, hear the rustle of leaves, smell the damp earth. It’s as if I’m transported back to that horrifying night when I was torn apart, shredded by the merciless claws of my ex-lover. The trauma still pulses through my veins, a constant reminder of the agony I endured.

But now, I must focus. I must protect the children, shield them from the darkness that threatens to consume me. With every ounce of willpower, I push back against the feral instincts clawing at the edges of my mind. I may be trembling, but I refuse to let the beast win. Not again.

“Get her outside...” Lorcan’s voice reverberates, the urgency palpable as the fire scorches through my veins. My heart races, and my senses heighten, my wolf sensing danger, though my mind struggles to rationalize. The memories, vivid and raw, claw at the edges of my consciousness, as if the past were just moments ago. PTSD is a bitch and you never know when or what may trigger it.

Lorcan’s arms encircle me, a lifeline amidst the chaos, holding me tight against the onslaught of memories. Ambrose joins him, their combined strength guiding me outdoors, though I resist, restrained by forces both seen and unseen.

“Let go!” Ambrose yells as he gets us outside.

As my feet connect with the ground, a surge of anticipation courses through my veins, and my senses sharpen. My muscles tense, ready to respond to any threat lurking in the yard. The earthy scent of damp grass fills my nostrils, mingling with the tang of approaching rain.

My wolf-self strains against the confines of my human form, eager to break free. With a primal instinct, I assume a defensive posture, scanning the surroundings with keen eyesight. Every rustle of leaves, every whisper of wind, I register with acute awareness.

Then, amidst the backdrop of nature’s symphony, the intrusive sound of a car engine disrupts the calm. My heart quickens its pace as adrenaline floods my system. Without hesitation, I shift and dart around the side of the house, ignoring the distant calls of Ambrose and Lorcan drowned out by the primal urgency pulsating within me.

Fear and anger intertwine, swirling in a tempestuous dance as I sprint towards the source of the disturbance. The thud of my paws against the ground echoes in rhythm with the pounding of my heart. Each step brings me closer to the unknown, the tension mounting with every passing moment.

I leap without fear onto the hood of the car, the metal cool against the pads of my paws. My senses strain, but I can’t see inside the darkness within, veiling its secrets. A deep, guttural growl rumbles up from my chest, reverberating through the air as I bare my teeth at the unseen threat lurking within.

My mates are close, their presence a reassuring anchor amidst the tension. They’ll stand by me, ready to confront whatever danger lurks within this metal beast.

“Grace, it’s your mates. They came back. You’re safe,” Ambrose’s voice cuts through the air from behind me, but his words offer little comfort. My instincts scream otherwise, warning me of the potential peril concealed within the confines of the car. My mates are wolves, creatures of the wild, who need no artificial constructs. This thing, this car, holds danger, and my instincts compel me to remain wary, despite Ambrose’s reassurances.

I’m at war with myself. I feel the tension crackling in the air, electric and charged, as if the very atmosphere is pulsating with the intensity of my inner conflict. My senses are heightened, every nerve on edge, as if my body is a tightly wound spring, ready to snap at the slightest provocation.

I can sense my mates nearby, their presence palpable, almost tangible, as if I could reach out and grasp them. The warmth of their bodies, the familiar scent of their skin. It’s all there on the outer edge of my frayed sanity.

But there’s danger lurking in the shadows, a sinister presence that sends shivers down my spine. I can feel it creeping closer, insidious and relentless, a threat that I’m not sure I’m strong enough to face. My heart pounds in my chest, a rapid drumbeat of fear and uncertainty, as I struggle to protect my babies from the dangers that surround us.

Hunter is dead, his life snuffed out by my hand. The memory haunts me, a specter of guilt and remorse that I can’t shake. But he can’t hurt me anymore, can’t threaten me or hold me captive in his suffocating grip.

“Mommy?” Ashina’s little voice pierces through the whirlwind of thoughts in my mind.

I pause, feeling the weight of uncertainty. Turning away from the vehicle beneath my paws feels like abandoning a fortress under siege. But Ashina’s call compels me to act. With a swift leap, I disengage and pivot, fixing my gaze back on the looming danger as I position myself to keep Ashina within my line of sight.

Relief washes over me as I see my daughter, safe and secure, clinging to Barrett’s leg. Nina and Deacon are close, sheltered in his embrace. My babies are unharmed.

With determination coursing through me, I move to stand between my children and the approaching threat. Every nerve in my body tingles with alertness, ready to shield them from any harm that dares to come their way.

The car door opens and I turn to face the threat emerging. “Darlin?” That voice, it sounds like my Ethan.

Side stepping I move to get a better look and it looks like my Ethan. “Daddy…” Ashina says, then runs past me. My jaws snap, but not in time to grab her. She barrels into the man’s arms and the haze of anger slowly fades.

I continue to stare until the thrumming of my heart beat in my ears settles. My wolf releases me and I fall to my hands and knees in the dirt. Tears stream down my face as I stare at them, hitting the earth. “Darlin? Please look at me.” Ethan’s voice sounds as broken as I feel.

Reluctantly, I lift my gaze to meet his, and it feels like my heart is shattering all over again. The weight of what I’ve been through presses down on me, threatening to crush me under its unbearable heaviness. I was ready to do anything, even kill, to protect my children from harm.

“I think I need help.” the words escape my lips in a whisper, barely audible even to myself. My bottom lip trembles as I bite down on it, trying to steady myself.

Lowering my head, I feel the weight of every moment, every trauma crashing over me like a relentless wave. The memories of the abuse I endured at the hands of my ex flood my mind, each one a fresh wound reopening in my soul. And then, finally, the moment I took matters into my own hands and ended his reign of terror once and for all—it broke something inside of me, something I’m not sure can ever be fully repaired.

Ethan kneels beside me and wraps his muscular arms around me. The minute he hauls me against him, the dam breaks. Tears roll in earnest down my cheeks as years of pain finally surface. “Con, make the call.” Ethan nuzzles my cheek and kisses me several times. “We all need help at some point, Darlin. There’s no shame in needing it. I went for a long time after I realized you were my mate and you were taken from me.”

Ethan admitting he had seen a therapist made me raise my head and look at him. He’s one of the strongest males I know. He just nods at me and kisses my temple. “I want to see your doctor. If you trust them, then I do too.” Drawing in a shaky breath, I lower my head to rest on his shoulder.

The tension in the bond seems to ease hearing me accepting help. Hell, I was starting to scare myself. I hadn’t admitted to the guys about losing chunks of time from my day. Who knows what my wolf has been doing at that time.