25. Natalie

Chapter twenty-five

Natalie

Dinner is awkward as fuck.

The sound of forks scraping against plates as we sit around the—thankfully large—table makes my eye twitch. Despite how delicious Quill’s chicken pot pie is, the atmosphere is making it hard to really enjoy the effort the old elf put into the dish. Now that I have a clear read on my mates’ emotions, thanks to the bond, I am constantly aware of their discomfort on top of my own.

After some strained polite conversation about the weather—newsbreak, it’s snowy and cold—Jasper clears his throat and puts on his sunny mask. “So, Quill, tell us more about Kirja. What kind of books do you typically send out at Christmas?”

Quill sits back and twirls the end of his impressive mustache. “I’ve been in charge of production for many, many years—perhaps too many years—but it’s never been as slow as it’s been lately. Children want fancy toys nowadays and the request for books for Christmas is down.”

“I love books,” Jasper says excitedly. “I wish I can get a book, or twenty, for Christmas. Take note, mates,” he adds with a wink.

An amused smile lifts Quill’s mouth. “If only more children would wish for that, then the village would be thriving again.”

Concern draws Cole’s brows down. “Is it affecting the village too?”

“Oh yes,” Quill nods sadly. “Many have relocated to Joulu or moved to neighboring villages. It seems that the fondness for books they once had, is not quite what it used to be. They’ve gone on to explore other passions, other crafts.”

“Doesn’t that leave you in an even more difficult situation with less workers available?” Cole asks, quick to see the business angle.

Quill sighs, his mustache vibrating with the strength of his breath. “In a way, it does. But, we make do.”

We lapse into silence again, but something that’s been tickling at the back of my mind stirs as an idea starts to take shape. First though, I need to redirect the conversation back to Cole’s father and his reason for being here.

My innate desire to call Daddy Santa out on his shit and to fix things for my mate rides me hard. Deciding we’ve pussyfooted enough, I put down my knife and fork and look at all the males around the table.

“Okay, boys. This is about as much awkwardness as I can handle. So, let’s have some real talk.”

They blink back at me, and Cole places his hand on my thigh. Once, my default setting would’ve made me believe it’s an act to stop me from speaking, but I smile to myself as Cole’s admiration and thankfulness floods the bond. On my other side, Jasper mirrors the move, his bond lighting up with amusement.

Leaning over, Jasper whispers against my ear, “I like it when you get all bossy.” He squeezes my thigh and sits back up before I can respond to that delicious innuendo.

Across the table, Nick Senior nods at me and I swear that’s approval flashing in his eyes. “Cole and Jasper are very lucky to have you.” Try as I might, I can’t help but preen a little under that compliment, especially when he’s delivered it with such sincerity.

I tilt my head in thanks. “Feeling’s mutual about them. Maybe now is a good time to tell us why you’re here? And why you approached Cole after so many years of not seeing him?”

He runs a hand over his short beard and his mouth turns up a fraction. “I do want to tell you all of that. For a minute, I had hoped to have a private conversation with Cole, but he deserves to hear my apology in front of his mates too.”

Quill raises his brows. “I can go if you’d like to keep this family only? But I’d be sad to miss what promises to be an interesting conversation.” I appreciate Quill’s candor. He kind of reminds me of an older Jasper, minus the horns and sex appeal.

Nick Senior shakes his head. “Please stay, Quill. As my oldest friend, you’re part of my family.”

I try not to find that endearing, but something tells me Nick Senior isn’t the villain I’ve made him out to be in my head. I’m not going to go easy on him, though. Cole deserves to have someone fighting for him, and that someone is most definitely me.

Looking Cole squarely in the eyes, Nick Senior places a hand over his heart, his eyes shining with earnestness, as he says, “First of all, I want to apologize for putting you in charge of a job you dislike so much. Both you and Jasper. I thought by giving you the Naughty List, when Nick is in charge of the Nice List, would make you feel more part of the family and you two could grow close as brothers. I am deeply sorry about the way it has turned out. I had good intentions, but my execution was poor.”

Oh, shit. His way of thinking kind of makes sense.

Cole’s hand tightens imperceptibly on my thigh. “Thank you. I didn’t exactly see things from that point of view before.”

Nick Senior reaches toward Cole before putting his hand back on his heart. “And that’s my fault for not explaining properly. When Cole was born, I felt so guilty because I broke from tradition by having another child. It wasn’t fair to Cole, nor to Nick, nor to Cole’s mother, or my late wife’s memory. I’ve let grief and my guilt keep me isolated, thinking everyone is better off without me interfering in their lives. Recently, I have started realizing the errors of my ways and would like to make amends. If you’d let me, of course.”

Holy fuck. This guy knows how to do apologies.

No stopping him now, the apology train hits my other mate next. “Jasper, I apologize for pulling you into this too. Just because things have always been done a certain way, doesn’t mean we have to continue doing them so. Your parents enjoyed their job back in the day, but things don’t have to continue like that.”

I know I haven’t known my mates for long, but my soul sighs in relief at the closure between them and Nick Senior, so I can only imagine how monumental it is for them… Cole, especially. I lace my fingers with my mates’, lending them all the silent support I can as they process all of these revelations.

“Thank you, sir. That means a lot,” Jasper croaks. Clearing his throat, he asks, “So you’re good with us finding different ways to change the Naughty List?”

Nick Senior nods emphatically. “Of course. I only wish I had thought of it myself first. I have never challenged traditions. I just did what my father did, and his father before him.” He swallows hard and his voice breaks as he continues, “But seeing you take on this mission, this quest, to find something better, to help children, to inspire them, it’s been eye-opening. And if you were so inclined, I’d like to have another chance at maybe getting to know each other.”

Cole’s breath hitches. “You’ve been following our mission?”

“Oh yes. Nick messaged me when you left. Asked me why I didn’t help you sooner, and I’ve been kicking myself since. I’ve also been checking in with Quill as updates filter in from the other villages. My cabin is here, on the edge of Kirja, and I’ve been readying myself for you and your mates’ arrival. I may have practiced my apology a couple hundred times, but above all else, I just desired to see you again, and to maybe have the honor of meeting your mates—the newest members of our family.”

Now feeling calmer after getting a read on Nick Senior’s intentions, I replace my antagonistic tone with genuine curiosity. “So, while we’re on the topic of family and wanting Cole to be part of it… Why name him Cole when that’s literally what the naughty kids get?”

Nick Senior winces. “Ah, firstly, this is a poor excuse, but I’ll try my best to explain it. The connection between Cole—C-O-L-E—and coal—C-O-A-L—didn’t enter my mind at the time of naming him. You see, the names ‘Cole’ and ‘Nick’ both mean the exact same thing. Maybe I’ve never stated it clearly, but it’s a beautiful meaning that I also have the privilege of sharing. It means ‘victory of the people.’ I always meant for Cole and Nick to be a team—a unit, if you will—working together toward making Christmas special for people all around the world.”

Cole tilts his head to the side, astonishment lacing his tone as he asks, “Cole and Nick have the same meaning?”

A glum smile twists Nick Senior’s lips. “They do.”

Quill slaps his friend’s shoulder. “Nick, why haven’t you ever told him this? I remember how excited you were when he was born. Scared too, yes. But you were so excited to have the perfect name.”

A defeated sigh drifts from Nick Senior. “I was a fool. Still am in many ways. Though, I’ll be trying my utmost for a second chance to be part of Cole and his mates’ lives. If they’ll allow me.”

“Not gonna lie, that’s kind of cute,” Jasper says. The tension breaks as we laugh at his remark.

Feeling Cole’s emotions throughout this conversation flow from apprehension to empathy and finally blooming with hope, has me feeling very optimistic about his relationship with his father.

When the laughter tapers off, I fake a sulk that would make Jasper proud. “Ugh, sucks to say, but this is all kind of redeeming Nick Senior in my eyes.”

Nick Senior reaches across the table and I give him my hand. His is warm and calloused, speaking to his many years of toy making. The last threads of my apprehension melt away when he focuses his sincerity on me. “That means a lot to me. I am not taking your tentative approval lightly. I hope that over the years we can all get to know each other and I can make up for all the wrong that I’ve done.”

Jasper clutches his heart dramatically. “You’ve got to stop with the sweet sayings. My heart is going to burst with all these gooey feelings.”

I let go of Nick Senior’s hand and straighten my shoulders. “While we’re on the topic of gooey feelings,” I start hesitantly, “I think I have an idea for the Naughty List.”

Quill brings his hands together in an exuberant clap. “Oh, how marvelous. You four go chat in the living room and I’ll bring you some eggnog,” he offers and starts to gather our empty plates.

“I’m hoping to hear your opinion on this too, Quill,” I say.

Quill pauses and looks at me over his half-moon glasses. “Me?”

“I hope so.”

“Okay. Can’t wait to hear what it is. But I still need my eggnog. In my old age, I can’t sleep well without it.”

“Let me help you,” Nick Senior offers. He stands up to take the plates from his friend and for a minute, I almost forgot how tall Santas are. Despite Quill being quite literally half his size, they seem to have an ease about them that comes from years of companionship.

Jasper, Cole, and I head for the antique two-seater couch covered in a rich crimson velvet. Like it’s second nature by now, Jasper pulls me onto his lap and Cole puts my legs across his thighs, gently massaging my sock-clad feet.

“Thank you for speaking up for me,” Cole says, his eyes misting with gratefulness. “If you hadn’t come into our lives, I would’ve still been walking around with so much hurt based on misunderstandings. In such a short time, you’ve torn walls down and sped up timelines. You’re the reason we’re healing and thriving. If I didn’t believe the fates had sent you before, I am a big fucking believer now. Thank you.” Cole’s final words come out on a choked whisper, the corners of his mouth pulled down with gratitude.

I take his hand in mine and press a kiss to his knuckles. “I’ll always fight for our happiness, no matter how many lines I have to cross. Fixing things between you and Daddy Santa is all part of that. I’m only happy when my mates are happy.”

Jasper wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me closer. “Our lives have literally changed because of you. We are so thankful for every single thing you’ve said and done, and what you’re apparently still doing. Why didn’t you tell us about your idea sooner?” I detect a hint of hurt in Jasper’s voice as he buries his nose in my hair.

I lean back and cup his face so I can meet his eyes. “It’s something that’s slowly been brewing in my mind over the last few days. But after hearing more tonight, I think it might work. I wanted to be sure before I said anything.”

Cole cups my ankle, his thumb tracing gentle patterns across my leggings. “Whatever it is, we’re in.”

“Just because we’re mated, doesn’t mean you have to blindly follow everything I say.”

Cole chuckles. “We know. But we also know you and how your brilliant mind works. Based on overwhelming evidence, we can already deduce that it’s going to be an ingenious plan.” I push my love and appreciation down the bond to both my mates just as the two other males enter the room.

“Okay, Natalie,” Nick Senior says after a sip of his well-spiced eggnog. “How can we be of assistance with your plan?”

“It’s actually quite straightforward. Jasper writes children’s stories. I draw. Cole loves books and does binding as a hobby. Quill is tired and this village needs a makeover. And you, Daddy Santa, have the knowledge to know if a good children’s book will work as a replacement for coal for Christmas. Would our book inspire kids to enact enough change in their lives… to get on the Good List?”

“That’s clever,” Nick Senior says, ignoring my Daddy Santa moniker. “I think for this to work, it would need to be a really good story. One with a clear message. Something that would captivate them and make them look forward to next Christmas.”

I look around the room to see their reactions, each male carefully considering my proposal before giving me feedback. I appreciate them taking the time and not just humoring me with positive responses.

Jasper is the first to break out of his thinking trance. “How the Children Helped the Nutcrackers Save Christmas,” he says slowly, his smile growing bigger and more confident with each word.

I nod back at him. “That was the story that first had me thinking of the idea.”

Quill drops his chin and looks at us over the rim of his glasses. “You already have a story?”

Cole sits up a little straighter, his eyes sparkling. “It’s perfect. Jasper’s story is practically ready to go. We can use many of the drawings from Natalie’s sketchbook as illustrations. If we formatted the story well, this could really be inspirational.”

“Natalie, can you show us your drawings?” Nick Senior asks, putting down his glass as his own excitement grows.

Underneath me, Jasper is practically squirming in his seat, his legs bouncing as the whole room’s energy shifts with the idea of finally finding something that could work.

“Jasper, get your story ready. I’ll transcribe,” Quill offers, downing the last dregs of his eggnog.

We spend the rest of the night ironing out details and fine-tuning the story. I make notes of new drawings I’ll add, and which ones I’ve completed that we’ll use. Cole chats to Quill about what kind of paper would work best and which materials they’ll use for the cover, and how many extra workers they’ll need to complete the book in time for Christmas.

By the time morning comes, we’re exhausted and exhilarated. We video call Nick with our plan, the complete story, and rough sketches in hand.

And, we get his approval.

I think we may have just saved Christmas for every child on the Naughty List.