13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

" W e'll make this easy on you," Xari continued. A mace and dagger were sheathed on her belt, though she hadn't drawn them.

Her fellows had that covered.

"Who is your master?" Xari's words were directed at all of them, but her eyes went first to Dante, as if seeing him and his axe as the greatest threat.

"I serve no one," Dante growled. "The Lady of Chaos asks only for conviction, not worship."

"You tout worship of the old gods?" Xari said in surprise, as some of the bows trained on Zen and the others wavered.

"Old?" Morty repeated. "They are very much still worshipped where we come from, dear woman."

Xari grinned. "It has been a thousand years since the average citizen believed gods would save them here."

"They won't be saving you ." Dante readied his axe.

"No!" Zen cried, lurching out of the shadows. "Please."

Xari seemed to notice Zen for the first time, and her grin wavered. "A darkling. But those robes…"

Hastily, Zen tried to hide his amulet, but Xari's eyes went right to it.

"Show me that. Now ."

Dante growled, and Guardian echoed him with a low rumble, but there were too many people, too many bows. Zen didn't want to see bloodshed he might have prevented.

Holding out his hands for his friends to remain calm, Zen took a cautious step forward. After putting his crossbow away, this time when he reached for his amulet, it was to hold it out.

"I am a priest of the Sun God, but I mean you no harm if you mean no harm to me or my friends."

The dozen or so people surrounding them dropped their weapons in an instant, not even waiting for Xari to tell them to stand down.

"That's all it takes for you to see sense?" Dante protested. "Because he's like you?"

"Because he serves the Lord of Law," Xari corrected. "The darkling part merely surprised me, since I know all my kin who venture from the villages. But if you have someone with you who is an agent of the Sun God, you can't possibly work for Gaian."

The ease with which she and her troupe believed that, believed in Zen, made his stomach drop.

" You don't serve Gaian?" Morty questioned. "You openly admit you oppose him?"

"What does it matter?" Xari said, as those with her fell in step behind her rather than surrounding Zen and the others amidst the trees. "Serving Gaian isn't a guarantee of life, so I choose to be me. We all do." She nodded at her comrades, and then turned to Zen. "Go on. Cast Bless on your amulet. The holy light would make any creature created by Gaian turn away and recoil. You'll see none of us do."

"Created?" Zen asked. "Gaian created more than vampires? The werewolves? Beasts?"

"He would make monsters of us all if his horde didn't need to feed. Go on."

Zen worried for Guardian's sake, though the wolf was behind him between Khel and Dante. He almost worried for himself, given he had ingested Gaian's blood, but when he summoned the simple prayer into his amulet and it lit up the clearing with holy power, while some of the dark elves and darklings squinted, no one turned their heads or backed away—including Zen.

With a nod, Xari reached toward him with an outstretched hand.

"It's all right," Khel hushed Guardian when the wolf gave a low growl. "They're friends."

Those words were all it took for Guardian's defensiveness to drop.

Zen was less certain. So far, everything here had been crafted by Gaian, set in motion by his will. These people could be the same.

So, although Zen accepted Xari's hand and gripped her forearm in friendship, as soon as she moved on to the others, he thought a silent prayer.

Detect —but not for magic. He sought to root out falsehoods and discover if she was a liar like Degnan.

To the best of Zen's ability, no ill-intentions reflected back at him.

"Well then," Xari said once introductions had been made and all weapons put away, "you are headed in that direction, and so are we. Shall we travel together?"

Dante seemed appeased as soon as one of the dark elves passed him a water skin that must have contained alcohol.

Khel smiled from the start, offering up Guardian for pets and accolades.

Morty remained beside Xari, and Zen stayed close to listen.

"If you choose not to serve Gaian," Morty began, "why are you heading toward his castle?"

"It's a small fief," Xari said. "You can travel the length of it in half a fortnight. Keeping moving sometimes means you're going the wrong direction. Besides, being by the barrier isn't always best. And we have waystations. That's where we're headed now."

"Keeping moving protects you from Gaian's wrath?" Zen queried.

"As best as anything else."

If that were true, and it wasn't merely Gaian's whims that kept these people safe, then Zen was putting them in danger simply by being near them.

But what would Gaian do if Zen told everyone the truth?

"You're not only adversaries of Lord Gaian but here to slay him? Perhaps you even stand a chance." Xari nodded once more at Zen. "Do you know the story of the first darkling priest?"

Zen startled, but Morty spoke up first.

"There have never been any darkling priests other than my friend here. Or have there?" He perked up taller, and with Morty straightened, he matched Xari's height.

"It makes sense you wouldn't have heard of her," Xari said. "It's a tale from our lands, and you've been closed off from this place for a thousand years. But yes, there have been darkling priests of the Sun God."

"Why are there no priests of the Twilight God or Dark Goddess?" Zen asked. He had often wondered, but to ask such a thing in the order risked reprimand for daring to think that the lesser gods deserved such devotion.

"Your friend already implied it." Xari motioned back at Dante, who was laughing now as he shared his homebrew with the dark elf who'd offered his. "The Lady of Chaos does not ask for adoration, only example, conviction in her tenets.

"The Lord of Balance is similar. They teach their followers to pursue magic and knowledge. So, in a sense, they ask for scholars, for pursuers of that knowledge, not worship.

"In a way, your friends are priests of their deities." Xari turned her smile to Morty, who seemed pleased with that assessment, even excited, like it was rare for him to discover someone with his same zeal and understanding of history.

"So, what of the darkling priest?" Morty asked.

"Adel," Xari said with reverence, continuing to lead them through what seemed a familiar path amidst the trees. "Even back then, before Gaian's reign, she doubted the teachings of her fellow priests that the Twilight God was greedy for knowledge and kept their worshippers in limbo when they died, or that the Dark Goddess was evil and tortured her followers the same ways they wreaked havoc on others in life.

"Adel found the Twilight God first, for her pursuit of the truth was understood by followers of Balance and explained to her as worthy and good. She learned magic and history and incorporated it into her prayers for more powerful spells.

"When she returned to the order, she was chastised for this corruption. The High Priest asked her, ‘What do you believe of the afterlife now?' And Adel said, ‘It doesn't matter. Maybe there is nothing. Maybe there is everything. But if we focus so much on that end and not the lives we live, are we truly doing good in the world?"

"The Wizards Academy teaches something similar." Morty nodded.

"But if your point, your purpose is to always pursue more," Zen asked him, "to what end?"

"For the sake of it." Morty shrugged. "For the sake of knowing. For the wonder, the adventure, the challenge! That in itself can be fulfilling."

"I had a feeling you followed the Twilight God." Xari indicated his books.

"And what of you, dear lady?" Morty turned his excitement onto her.

"I haven't finished my story yet." Xari smiled. "The High Priest called Adel a blasphemer for believing both gods could be followed, and she was cast out. She might have been killed, but her abilities had grown too great, and she was able to escape. She fled right to the first followers of the Dark Goddess she could find.

"As Adel suspected, they also proved to be different than what she had been taught, believing simply that one should live without restraint and respect that others have a right to do the same, as long as one's rights do not infringe upon another's. With this knowledge, she found pleasure in her prayer, magic, and other pursuits that had been lacking. She learned that life can be lived for others but also should be lived for oneself, without fear of being called selfish or wrong.

"At long last, her travels brought her here, to Crestfall, where she settled and passed on her beliefs to others, mostly dark elves and darklings like her."

At this, Xari pulled out her own hidden amulet, deep onyx like her armor.

While the Sun God's symbol was a silver sunburst, the Dark Goddess's was a golden star outlined in a circle, like a compass, and the Twilight God's was a bronze symbol of infinity. Overlapped as they were for Xari's pendant, the center of the sun melded with the star and crossing of infinity, but its rays still shone, and each part of all three symbols was connected—unified.

Zen had never seen them all together like that.

"I revel and rejoice and kill when I must," Xari said. "I pursue my own betterment when I can, and sometimes justice is not kind, like the harsh light of day. Well, day somewhere." She replaced the amulet and grinned once more. "I don't know true sunlight.

"As for Adel, she married and had a son, not giving up either for her beliefs, for she didn't believe that was necessary or something any of the gods would ask for. Her name and her teachings live on, though her son's name has been forgotten—Lord Gaian's lost love."

Zen nearly tripped over a fallen tree branch.

His mother?

No—Zenos's mother.

Yet, if Zen was resurrected rather than born, wasn't she his mother too?

"That is one of our oldest and most cherished stories," Xari went on. "For you to not know it outside these lands, I'm surprised you even knew of Lord Gaian to come here."

"Most people don't," Morty said, taking one of the books from his belt. It was the black leather-bound tome, which he'd situated closer within reach, since he'd been referencing it so often. "This book is the only surviving written account. It is believed the Order of Law passes it down orally but forbids it from being transcribed. They didn't dare destroy the original, however, smuggled from these very lands."

Xari gazed upon the book with the same veneration Morty did. "If that's what I think it is, then it was written by Gaian's own hand."

"What?" Zen nearly tripped again. "Then why isn't his love's name in it?"

"I heard that only the resurrected love could cause the tome to reveal the name. A sign from Gaian of his true identity, should the book be part of what brought him home."

It wasn't that Zen doubted his lineage, but so much had been a lie, he wondered what was true and found his eyes straying to the book.

"Fascinating." Morty clung to the tome more tightly. "All of it—simply fascinating! I want to know everything!"

If the subject matter had been different, Zen might have smiled at how Morty was clearly smitten with Xari and her knowledge that rivalled his own.

Zen was so entranced by their conversation, however, that he didn't realize at first when the wood opened to a new clearing. This one wasn't an empty patch of grass where one might setup camp but held an alter made of stone, though the pieces seemed to have been toppled.

Xari's people set to work collecting those pieces. They didn't appear upset that the alter had been disturbed, merely placed the stones in a specific order around and on top of each other, until they resembled the shape of Xari's amulet.

"The horde often knocks them down," Xari explained. "There are many similar shrines throughout Nightfall, spaced out so that we might reach one at least every other day and pray for continued protection. None of Gaian's followers would dare remove one of the stones. They wouldn't admit it, but they fear the gods' power as much as they fear Gaian. After all, we believe all three gods worked to seal these lands."

Zen and the others were left standing, as Xari and each of her fellows knelt before the shrine in quiet prayer. Not even Dante with his usual boisterousness dared speak over the silence.

Xari was clearly a priest of their beliefs, for lack of a better term, but several others proved to have amulets like hers, all beginning to glow, and then the stones began to glow too.

It was a strange sensation that washed through Zen, not unlike calling on one of his own prayers, and yet, instead of feeling alone with the warmth of the Sun God, he felt connected to everyone in the clearing and every blade of grass or tree around them.

After the light faded, little by little, the people rose, though some remained praying longer. When Xari stood, Morty went to her.

"You said that the people here no longer believe the gods will save them. But then, why pray at all or believe that all three gods sealed this place?"

"Because if Gaian served one of them, he would let that one stand. And I said the average citizen doesn't believe. We still do. Perhaps the gods protect us, perhaps not. Perhaps we can only save ourselves. All I know is that Gaian's horde continues to destroy our alters and we continue to thrive. That must mean something."

"But I…" Zen started to speak, and it wasn't only Morty and Xari who looked at him, but Dante and Khel as well. Still, he had to ask, "I thought the story said that Gaian turned to the Dark Goddess to become a vampire lord. And you said he wrote the book."

"Does it say he turned to the Dark Goddess?" Xari asked, her smile cryptic.

Morty dug into the tome to find the passage. "Here we are. See, he… oh. Well, I suppose what it actually says is, ‘Gaian turned to dark magic, holding the power of life and death, that many believed to be the foundation of the Dark Goddess.'"

"A common mistake," Xari said. "It is not the gods who make something good or evil, but those who wield their power. Symbols of the gods cannot harm Gaian, and he and his horde certainly hold more hatred for the Sun God, given they cannot exist in sunlight, but it would seem they do not like the sight of any of the gods' totems."

Zen thought of his amulet, and how almost immediately, Enki had convinced him to tuck it away. Before they reached the barrier and entered Nightfall, Zen had been in a dream with Gaian that caused him to leave his stole at camp. That had to have been purposeful.

"Is it only your small group, always alone out here?" Khel queried.

"There are other troupes like ours that we trade with and exchange, well, whatever or whoever wants to be exchanged."

"You don't trade with the villages?" Dante asked.

"Never trust the villages. They are loyal to Gaian. Loyal enough to be dangerous."

"Don't you encounter more monsters out here?" Khel knelt to pet Guardian, who seemed more excitable with so many people around.

"Better than being seduced and turned into something we're not."

Zen reached to touch the collar of his robes. It was still secure, covering both his scar and his newly acquired bite marks.

"Villagers inside the barrier gave us these posts." Dante showed one of the protection rods from his pack. "Are they useless?"

"They work," Xari affirmed. "We have some of the same, but they're not strong enough to keep out Gaian or his brides. For that, be glad you have your priest."

So much trust and belief were being placed in Zen that he felt a wave of guilt.

He mustered a smile anyway, until all eyes were off him, and his gaze landed on Guardian—who Gaian could use like a conduit, hearing and seeing everything.

Zen must have gotten lost in thought, because the next thing he knew, his friends were no longer around him, and Xari's troupe appeared to be packing up to continue away from the shrine.

"Zen, was it?"

"Hm?" Zen turned to Xari. "Yes?"

"You seem agitated."

"I… I'm not the adventurer my friends are. This is my first quest."

"And you chose Gaian? You must be terrified."

Zen swallowed.

"That was meant to be a joke," she amended.

Zen tried to smile but it was getting harder to fake the expression. "I wish it was."

Stepping closer, Xari trapped Zen with her silvery stare so like his own. Her eyes seemed to pierce right through him, reading his doubts, his fears.

His betrayal.

"I don't think you need to worry."

"What makes you say that?"

"There is power in you, Zen, but it isn't all coming from your amulet or priest-like abilities. Much comes from you, certainly, but there is something… older."

Zen held his breath, worried she truly could read his heart and mind and the depths of his soul. Could she see with her abilities that he was Gaian's love?

"What's in that?"

"Huh?" Zen realized she wasn't looking at him so much as his belt—at the small pouch on his belt, where he had scooped a handful of the unknown powder from the temple's secret storage. "Oh! I'm not certain."

Carefully, Zen unhooked the pouch and opened it for Xari to inspect.

"I took it from the order when I left. I sensed its power too, but I don't know what it is. A spell component maybe?"

Just as Zen had done when he first discovered the powder, Xari waved her hand with a whispered, " Detect ," and like then, the powder gave off a faint glow.

With a tilt of her head, Xari reached inside to run her fingers through the soft substance, but when she pulled her hand back, she still seemed unsure.

"I don't know either. Whatever it is, it's practically singing with power. Keep it close. You might need it. Come," she said with a renewed smile, "the others are ready to move. We'll want to be far from here before we camp."

"Um…"

"Yes?"

No one else was around them, and Zen didn't know the next chance he'd have to ask this. "You are knowledgeable of these lands and the creatures here. Do you know… can a vampire lord release their thralls? Allow them to be equals instead of servants?"

"Certainly."

Zen hadn't known the answer he'd wanted, but those words filled him with relief—

"But they never do."

—for a moment.

"Having that sort of power is too appealing," Xari finished, "even if the vampire lord professes undying devotion. Shall we?"

It felt wrong to keep the truth from everyone, and yet, if it was up to Zen to stop Gaian, maybe the burden should be his alone.

Then again, that meant there might come a time when Zen would have to leave his friends for their own protection.

For now, as they continued their travels, Zen tried not to think on it and focused on getting to know the other members of Xari's troupe. Some were former villagers, who'd chosen to leave when they came of age. Some were from families that had been wanderers for generations. All of them were welcoming. It seemed that, whether monsters or vagabonds, Nightfall was preferable to almost everyone back in Aerie.

While they walked, the moment when hazy day gave way to the glittering skies of night, Zen could hardly believe that only twenty-four hours prior, he'd experienced this phenomenon beside Enki.

Once it was deemed time to camp, they found a large enough clearing to accommodate everyone and set up a combination of Zen and Xari's party's protection rods. There was no sign of beasts about to attack, but while Xari's people chittered about the protection of the gods, Zen knew it was Gaian looking out for him, and he wasn't sure if that was soothing.