29. Veyka

I was in freefall.

The void pulled at my tired muscles, my shattered soul, ripping them apart until I was nothing but stardust in the space between realms. I ceased to be a queen or a friend or a warrior.

I was the space between stars, the darkness that sucks everything into it, swallowing all light. In the void, there was no hope or fear. I did not even exist, not in a way that anyone could recognize. I was myself in my most distilled form.

Unfathomable.

Untouchable.

Free from pain.

But not from that tug in my chest.

Except I did not have a chest, so I could ignore it. I could bask in the nothingness. No feelings… what had I ever felt that had sent me here? It did not seem to matter. Not in this infinite inhale.

I could go anywhere, be anything. Everything and no one. Free of… what? What was I free of? I could not remember.

There it was again, that tug.

It was important, but I could not quite recall why. But I knew it was trying to pull me back together, to reassemble the parts that were free and flowing and gloriously unfettered.

I tried to shake it off, to will the particles I'd become away from that restricting force—

It solidified.

I could see the golden thread wrapping around… my wrist? There, I had a wrist. Then my arm, my chest. I looked down and saw where that golden thread speared for my heart. Right there was the blasted organ, beating stronger and brighter as the golden thread wrapped around it again and again and again…

I wrenched control of my magic back just in time to avoid being splattered on the cold stone tiles of my bedchamber.

Even so, I landed hard on my hands and knees, sweat pouring off of me. I gulped down air, but did not open my eyes. I was too busy inside, shoving the ember of my power down inside of me. It hadn't been an ember that took me into the void this time. It had been an inferno. A flash of power stronger than anything I had ever felt.

Not a new magic, uncontrolled, like after the Joining.

Oh, no.

This was different, and I did not need to explain it to anyone or have it explained to me to understand.

This was magic in control—of me.

In my desperate desire to get away from my feelings, I'd lost track of who I was and what I was—not just a queen, but a wife. Arran's mate.

I'd almost lost myself to the void.