Chapter 48

CHAPTER 48

T he burns across my body slowly start to heal. I almost wish they wouldn't. I wish I had a physical scar to make sense of the pain running through me like a current. I simply become a machine, a living live wire of pain wandering at Phrixius's side. Both of us cling to a tiny shard of hope that her soul exists somewhere in this world and we can bring her back.

I know death is not set in stone, but part of me is screaming inside that she's gone.

I cannot feel her.

That's what it is. For as long as I can remember, I have felt her at my side, heard her voice, and even bathed in her warmth, and now it's just gone, taken from me like she never existed. I made a deal to save a necromancer, but she was the one who saved me. I am nothing without my little witch.

If she cannot be brought back, then I will join her in death so we can be together again.

I would do anything for one more quiet morning at her side, just sitting in silence and watching her brew. I'd give anything to see her aim an exasperated smile at me or sigh and curl into my arms. It's not the mayhem we caused, nor the big, exciting days I wish for . . . . It's the little things that made up our lives together, that made me love her. Love is a human emotion, but it's so potent that I understand it now. It's memories, tiny snips of almost unimportant time, yet they change you in a fundamental way. Every smile, kiss, touch, and moment make up a life we shared and a bond that I will simply cease to exist without.

I formed myself around Freya, and without my anchor, I am nothing, just an empty shell of a demon thrown into the pits, denied warmth and love.

If I knew how important she would be to me the moment I made that deal all those years ago, I'd still make the same choice because it gave me her. It gave me more happiness than a vile, evil creature like me deserves.

I am lost in my thoughts when Phrixius grabs my hand. Usually, I would hate the physical contact, but I find myself clinging to it, needing something to hold me to this world when I feel like I am sinking into the ground. "We will bring her back." He sounds so sure, but I see worry in his eyes.

He is lost just like me and holding on to the hope he can bring her back. Edging it all is a madness I understand. It seems losing Freya has corrupted the once moral god.

"What would you do to achieve that?" I ask.

"Anything," he replies, and my eyebrow rises. "I mean it, anything. I do not care what it takes or how long. I will bring her back."

I meet his eyes, seeing how determined and serious he is. "Even if it means losing your soul along the way?"

"I have already lost it. She took it with her."

Maybe that should worry me, but if anything, it only makes me feel relieved. We will have to pervert nature to bring her back, probably damning ourselves, and I need to know I can trust him with this. It seems losing her has altered Phrixius irrevocably.

Gone is the god of magic, and in his place is a fallen, bitter man searching for his lost love.

Why does it feel like we are repeating history?

Finding Sha is not as easy as we thought. Although we have a connection to him, it's nowhere as strong as the bond is to each other or Freya. He is a creature born of intention and magic and only exists for her, so it makes me wonder if he has been reclaimed by the earth now that she is gone, but Phrixius is determined to find him.

We do not sleep, eat, or rest as we walk, searching for signs of him. Phrixius's magic is draining as he scours the world.

"We are wandering without direction, focus," I snap.

"I am trying," he retorts as he glares at me.

Leaning down where he's sitting cross-legged near the lake, I narrow my gaze. "Try harder," I demand, my voice deadly. "We are running out of time. Every moment we waste, the further she is from us. You are a god, find him now."

I don't know whether it's my pushing, his anger, or the reminder we could lose her, but he snaps. With a roar, he tackles me to the ground. We roll over the hard dirt, clawing and yelling at each other, expressing our anger and grief. I land below him, his hands pinning me down. He slams my hands down into the earth, and I feel his magic pour through me and below.

"I am trying. What are you doing?" he yells. "How are you helping, you useless fucking demon?"

Something rolls in the ground beneath me, and I freeze. He must sense it because his brows draw together in confusion, and he removes his hands from mine as my body jerks again, something big rising below me in the dirt.

The ground under us continues to move, and we both sit up, our eyes wide as we stare at the rolling, upturning earth.

Please don't be a zombie or some fucked-up creature. Please don't be a zombie ?—

It breaks apart with a roar, dirt flying across us.

Yelping, I clutch onto Phrixius, who grips me too, as we blink at the creature in the hole.

Sha.

Clearing his throat, Phrixius shakes me off and brightens at the sight of Sha. "My magic must have summoned him," he explains. Sha's eyes are closed, and he's unmoving. We share a look. "You check him."

"No, you." I push him, and he shoots me a glare before crawling over and kneeling before Sha.

"Sha?" he murmurs, and when there's no response, he clears his throat. "Sha?" he prompts louder.

"Touch him or something," I snap, and he throws another dirty look my way before gently laying his hand on Sha's chest.

"Sha, it's us. Are you in there?" he murmurs.

Sha jerks, his eyes snapping open and mouth parting in a vicious grin, and Phrixius jerks back as Sha leaps and pins him.

I sit back, my head tilted as Sha snarls in the god's face. "Help!" Phrixius yells to me.

Sighing, I clamber to my feet and stop at their side. "Sha, if you eat Phrixius, we cannot save Freya." His head snaps up, and his bright red eyes land on me. He appears more like a monster than the man she made. "Freya, you remember her?" He blinks, shutting his mouth. "I know you do. She's not gone. We are bringing her back." Crouching at his side, I smile softly. "I know you're in there, and she needs you, so don't eat the god. He's probably our only chance to get our girl back."

"Mistress," he hisses.

I nod. "Yes, your mistress, Freya."

He blinks again, and some humanity comes back into his eyes as he swings his gaze to Phrixius. "Bring her back."

"That's what we are going to do," he says, his hands still pressed to Sha's chest in case he tries to eat him again. "But for that, you need to not kill us first."

He watches us both for a moment before sitting back. It seems when Freya died, it took whatever made him human, but at the mention of her name, he is able to hold the animal back. I don't know how long it will last, so we need to act quickly.

"Bring her back." He nods. "Now."

"Yup, now seems like a good plan." I help Phrixius slide out from under him, and we share a tight look. "You heard the man—erm, monster," I mutter. "Bring her back now. "

"Then there is one place we need to go," he says, dusting off his back and glaring at Sha.

"Where's that, oh mighty god?" I smirk as Sha snaps his teeth at him again. He really doesn't like the god right now.

"The pool of souls."

It's my turn to gape at him. "The pool of souls is a myth, a story for children?—"

"It exists. The gods have protected it since the beginning of time. If we are to bring her back, then we need to find her soul there." He stands and offers me one hand and the other to Sha. "Let's go get our girl."

"Fucking gods," I mutter, but I take it and so does Sha, and within seconds, we are gone from the lake and transported across the world.