Chapter 37

CHAPTER 37

" W e still have to talk about the necromancer," my mistress mumbles around a spoonful of soup. She's in nothing but a silk slip that I can see through, her hair is unbound and messy, and her skin is still pink. She looks good enough to eat.

In fact . . . I start to slip under the table when her eyes narrow on me, and she points her spoon into my face. "I can see your thoughts, monster. No." She taps my cheek with her spoon. "Killing first, sex later."

"If I kill this necromancer, then I get to fuck you whenever I want?" I ask.

"Well, er . . . yes." Her cheeks turn a prettier shade of red.

"Then I shall do that now." I thrust to my feet, ready to track down this necromancer, when she starts to laugh. Grabbing my hand, she tugs me down and pushes my bowl closer.

"Eat. We will kill him together, and then we'll have a very long time to play, okay? Demon!" she warns, smacking his hand away from whatever he was doing. She looks to Phrixius for help, but he just shrugs and nods.

"If you were closer, I would have my mouth on your pretty tits, feeding from them instead of this bowl." Her pupils blow wide, and I watch as the god lifts his bowl and licks it clean.

Freya shoves back from the table, sending hot soup splattering everywhere. "Gentlemen—no, monsters, pay attention. Stop looking at my boobs, stop thinking about my vagina?—"

The demon groans. "Now that you said it, I am—" She smacks his hand away again, darkness crawling along her skin as she points at every single one of us.

"Focus. We must track down this man, now," she warns. "Do not make me use my magic on you."

Leaning into the god, I lower my voice as her darkness crawls along the table. "I do not know much about other witches, but are they all this magnificent when wielding magic?"

"No, that's all our girl." He grins, and when the darkness touches his arm, he simply welcomes it, but he does sober up. "She is right though. We do need to focus on the necromancer. We might have held him back, but he wasn't defeated. We should push our advantage while he's weak and without an army."

"So how do we find this necromancer?" the demon asks, slinging his arm around Freya and pulling her into his lap, notching his chin on her shoulder. "How did you do it in the past?"

"The gods tracked down necromancers. You're the god of magic, so surely you must be able to. With all of us together against him, if we push him now, like you said, then we stand a chance." Freya nods as she leans back into her demon. Is she even aware she does it? Something dark and ugly rises inside me for a moment at seeing her in another's arms, but watching her relax like that, her shoulders unwinding, the emotion changes to something happy.

I would give her anything she asked for, and if she wants this demon and god, then I will chain them to her side forever as long as she will continue to be happy.

Phrixius sighs. "We did, and I can. My worry is that he knows that and it will be a trap."

"It doesn't matter. Trap or no, we have to end this now. We all know he'll want a new army, which means he will kill hundreds to get it. I might understand why he's doing this, but I cannot sit back and let it happen," she admits. "I cannot imagine the pain and suffering he endured, but I cannot condone his plan for revenge."

"If it comes to it, can you kill him?" Phrixius asks seriously. "After what you saw?"

"We have to, right? There's no saving him. I felt it in his soul. There's nothing left but anger and the need for blood. He's past redemption. I won't relish killing a man who only loved his wife and child, but if it means saving others, then I'll do it. My coven is in danger, but so is the world, and maybe if I can save them, I can save myself too."

"What do you mean?" I ask as gently as I can.

She turns to me. "I feel like if I lose to him, then I'll lose my soul and the grip I have over this darkness too. If we end this, then I stand a chance at having a future and being alive. I know it's not going to be easy, but we have to try."

"It will mean you will use your powers. We will protect you as much as we can and carry the burden of killing him so you do not have to go fully into the darkness, but we cannot save you from everything, and there is a possibility your control will slip again. Are you ready for that?" Phrixius asks. "Because if not, we can do this without you."

"No, he's one of us. It's my duty?—"

"Not if it endangers your soul, it isn't. I will not put you in danger, not even for the world," Phrixius admits, his eyes on her. "I know I should not say that, since it is my duty to risk my life for this world and the magic within it. I was taught that one death for hundreds is no loss, but I'm finding, Freya, that if that one death is yours, then I would let hundreds die."

I glance between them as they stare at each other, and the smile that blooms over her face is magnificent. "But I will not. I cannot live with myself if I do nothing when it's me he wants. It's time we end this, don't you think? Then you can whisper sweet nothings in my ear like that all night."

Phrixius looks us all over and nods. "Then we will track him down. We'll go tonight before he has regrouped his army. First, I want you all to rest and eat. Tracking the necromancer is the easy bit, but killing one? That's much, much harder. He might be one, but one necromancer is worth an army of witches, and before the sun is up, all of us will be covered in blood." Phrixius rises and wanders away, and we watch him go, wondering how much blood this god has really spilled.

PHRIXIUS

Staring out at the coven from the entrance of Freya's cave, I cannot help but think of the past. Freya may think we are all monsters for what we did, but we had our reasons. He only showed her his past and the horrors that made him this way, but he did not show her the countless atrocities committed by his people.

I watched children be turned into monsters and then be used against their parents.

Mothers were replaced by nothing but empty shells with orders to kill before they were sent home, where they destroyed their families, knowing they could not fight back.

I had to watch friends turn into enemies. The necromancers' armies filled with their loved ones, and they could not even grieve because they were still there. There was no peace, rules, or laws for them. They did as they wished. Yes, the gods killed many, maybe even innocents, but the world would not be standing if we had not. I know that for sure.

I hesitated back then, hating the orders I had to follow, and although I didn't kill those innocents, I did not stop the gods either because I knew we either eradicated them or were eradicated.

They banded together, obeying those stronger than them out of fear. They were either with them or against them.

I am not saying it was right, but we did what we thought was appropriate. Knowing she thinks we are all monsters . . . it ruins me.

Perhaps that is why when she appears at my side, I offer her my hand. "Can I show you something?"

She lays her palm in mine. With a devastating smile, I tug her close and allow myself a moment of weakness as I press my mouth to her ear. "Take a deep breath. This might make you feel nauseous."

I take us away, appearing back on my island. I keep her in my arms as she sways, and when she pulls away, she gasps, looking around in wonder. I follow her gaze, seeing it as she does—the beauty, magic, and otherworldliness.

It truly is a place of wonder, even if I never wanted to admit that nor cared before.

"Where are we?" she asks softly, heading to the edge of my island and peering over.

"My home."

She glances at me over her shoulder before I join her at her side.

"This is the realm of gods. Here, we are free . . . and alone. Each of us was gifted an island upon our creation. It complements us. It is supposed to make us feel safe and protected."

"Does it?" she asks.

"No," I admit, unable to meet her gaze. "It just made me feel very alone."

She hums then is quiet for a moment. "So the gods hide here." Venom tinges her words, and I know the necromancer has already started to sow seeds of doubt into her darkness.

"Nobody is born evil," I tell her. "It is decisions that make us such." I feel her gaze on me as my eyes flit around the clouds. "That is our duty, and sometimes we make the wrong decisions. Sometimes we make good ones as well, but nobody ever remembers them." I turn to her, searching her gaze. "I know you hate them for what you saw, but you did not see everything. The horrors that the gods committed . . . those decisions were not made lightly. You did not see the future as we did."

"Phrixius—"

"We were not unaffected." I point to a far-off island. "His name was Albraross. He was the god of harvest. After the dark wars, he withdrew to his island and went mad. He relived those wars in his mind over and over, questioning if what we did was right. The lives he took, no matter how evil, haunted him. "

"What happened to him?" she whispers softly.

"Gods, despite what you think, can be killed, and he ended his life rather than facing the truth. He could not live with it." I glance down at her. "Maybe there was another way out back then, maybe we could have done things differently, but I need you to know, it changed us all. We ended the war, but they started it. There was so much needless death, and as the god of magic, I felt every passing soul keenly. I felt the magic building in the world, ready to be wielded . . . It would have destroyed the universe, not just your world, Freya. When the ones who seek power have it all, do you think they will stop? No, they would have kept going. It does not mean we do not grieve or remember. We have the gift of immortality, and the price for that is a memory that will never stop. We have to live, every single day, with our pasts and what we have done. We can never escape it. We grow alongside the world, and we do what we think is best, yet we can never find peace. Cities come and go, and civilizations are destroyed, yet we stand. It is our duty and our purpose." I turn to her, letting her see the tears falling from my eyes.

"I have seen so much hate and destruction as well as beauty and happiness. I have lived with it for thousands of years, and I will live with it even when you are gone." I slide my hand over her face, absorbing her warmth. "You have the beauty of time, Freya, to live each day like it's your last because it might be. I do not have that. I know there will always be a tomorrow and that I will always be expected to keep going, even if I don't want to. Immortality is a gift and a curse, and it was only after meeting you that I started to realise that. I would give it up in a heartbeat for just a day at your side, truly living and free to make my own path, my own future. I am destined to watch as those I grow close to die. I am destined to be alone forever. I never understood that before I met you. I was grieving for the life I wished I could have. No matter what you think, I am jealous of everyone on Earth. All of you get to enjoy this world knowing in the end, it doesn't matter. I'm jealous of those who get to love and build a future and a life." Looking back at the world of gods, I can't help but wish I were not born this way .

"It is my duty, and I have done my duty for centuries. I have never once questioned our purpose or our cause." Looking down at her, I memorise her face. "Until you. Maybe that is why I brought you here, because I can't stand to have you think we are all monsters. We care so much, Freya, but our hearts have been broken time and time again, crushed under the weight of the laws we have no choice but to uphold. We are gods, but we do not have free will. It is just a fantasy. You humans dream of living forever, while we dream of living for a day. Ironic, isn't it?"

"I think . . . I think both sides made mistakes, and wars are won by those fighting for something." She sighs, taking my hand and pressing it to her cheek again. "I wish I could give you the life you want, Phrixius. I wish I could free you from your duties. I guess we are all bound one way or another by fate."

"I guess so," I murmur, looking into her eyes. "Which means meeting you. You stormed into my life, and I cannot be angry at that. In fact, I want to thank the Fates this once for giving me something precious, something worth fighting for."

"Softie," she teases, taking my hand once more as we stare out at the world, observing the peace. "We should get back. I suppose tonight will change everything."

"It will," I agree. I will never lie to her. For a moment, she looks worried. Turning her, I press my hands to her cheeks to tilt her face up to mine, and I give her my truth and my soul. I hand it over in the hopes it will be enough.

"I wish I could tell you that I would destroy this world for you and kill anyone who harmed you, damn the consequences, but I cannot. I am a god, Freya, but I would do something we cannot, something infinitely more dangerous. I would die for you, and I hope one day, that will be enough."

"Why?" she asks, searching my gaze. "Why would you die for me? We haven't known each other?—"

"Time does not matter to an immortal. I knew from the first moment I met you that you would be important to me. In all my thousands of years, I have never met another like you. I care for you a lot, more than I have anyone before."

"Even knowing what I could become?" There it is, her true fear—herself.

"Even then," I admit. "I lied to myself. I told myself I stayed at your side in case you embraced the darkness, but the truth is, I stayed at your side because I did not want to be anywhere else, and if you'll let me, I'll stay there forever."

"Your duty?—"

"Will still be here. I can do both," I tell her. "If you want me, that is?"

Her lashes flutter for a moment, and when her eyes lock on mine, they are warm with desire and happiness. "I want you," she states boldly. "I want any part of you I can have, even if that is selfish."

"It's not selfish when I want you to have it," I murmur, tugging her closer and lowering my face. "If you want me, little witch, then claim me." It's a plea rather than an order. I have reached for her every time, but in this moment, I need her to reach for me and give me a reason to fight for us.

When her lips press softly to mine, I taste the truth in her heart, even if she does not speak it.

It's a soft, exploratory kiss, and when it's over, I pull her into my arms, holding her tightly. I always felt like I was waiting for something, and this is it. I was waiting for her to fill my arms and my heart.

"When you gods want something, you really don't hold back," she teases from the shelter of my embrace, making me laugh.

"We better go back before your demon and creature storm the god realm looking for you." We share a look as we pull away. "We both know they would."

"And they would enjoy doing it." She smirks, pressing up on her toes to kiss me gently. The warmth of her lips stains my soul forever. "Take me home, Phrixius."

"Always," I promise.