Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

" T hey're creepy lovestruck puppies, and I can't mentally get my head around the fact they are ancient gods."

Hope's long dark hair catches in the wind and blows around her face. She pushes it away and leans on the stone wall barrier. Trying not to laugh, I join her and look over the lands around the castle, and for a moment I don't see the burnt ground, the ruins of the war that just happened, or the graves dug a few miles out for all the dead. I don't see the fires burning the bodies of the dragons we lost and our enemies we killed. I just see the day I rode on Arden's back and flew with the dragons who would become my mates, around the land I didn't know was my home. Not yet. It was the first moment I felt like I didn't want to leave this world. The memory crumbles as reality pushes down on my senses with the smoky smell and the icy wind. The rising sunlight makes the sky look pink at the moment, like a Barbie doll designed the sky. I doubt Hope even knows what one is.

"You wouldn't want to know what I walked in on only ten minutes ago. I got up early because sleep just wasn't happening for me, and it turns out they both decided a naked bathtub with their dead army people fanning them was a perfect thing to do in the middle of the dinner hall," I mutter, wishing I could burn it from my memory. They were covered up by the water, but still. I think my grandmother is keeping Cronus distracted, and it's for the best. I honestly thought Cronus was going to kill Aphrodite and Ares because the news of my mother made my grandmother cry. I don't trust the unfeeling bastard, but I trust my grandmother and she loves him. I want him to take Aphrodite out too, just like I told him yesterday, but I can't. No one can do that because the consequence of that move is losing Emrys.

Hope bursts into laughter and I let myself laugh with her, let my shoulders drop and the world's problems fade for a moment. Only when our laughter stops, when the dragons fly across the sky like a dark shadow and I watch them, does Hope bring it up. "I'm sorry about Emrys. I love him too, not like you do, but like a brother. I know he would tell me to make you give up on this if it risks your life and the kings'. He wouldn't want you to die for him."

"I know," I bitterly whisper. If it was the other way around, I'd beg him not to do what the kings and I have signed ourselves up for. "But he's in there. He looked so pale, and Ares struggled and looked tired. If he struggled to even hold a conversation up for long, something isn't going to plan. So I think Emrys is in there fighting, and we'll fight for him. Starting with Lysander today." I watched the army spread out far and wide, all dead but standing corpses of bone so white they glitter in the light. "If I lose him…I don't think there will be anyone who could stop the darkness that would explode out of me and drown every world."

"You sound like a goddess." Hope looks to the sky. "And what says you aren't one? You are so powerful, and isn't that all gods are? Powerful people who can change the world?"

A goddess. I guess it does run in my blood. "Then gods can be killed. I will end them both." A dragon roar is our only warning before Hope's dragon swoops up in front of us, the scales of her belly so close I could reach out and touch them. I haven't had time to talk with Terrin other than checking in. It's been too crazy since my grandmother got here. She kept us up talking late last night, making battle plans, organising everything until I absolutely felt exhausted. I barely remember Arden practically picking me up and carrying me back to our room before I fell asleep. I woke up before he did. Grayson was training already, a sweaty mess beating up some of the earth guards who came through to protect him, and I narrowly avoided that mess, so I didn't have to do any training. I'll train with him when he has calmed down; otherwise, my muscles will never survive. I don't know where Lysander is, but part of me is worried about seeing him because I might ask him not to go into that test where he might not come out of it.

"You look like a thousand things are going on in your mind right now." Hope's voice cuts through my thoughts.

I clear my throat. "Distract me. Please." She opens her arms. "What about Xandry? Things are weird between you two since we've come back from that world. What happened out there?"

She clears her throat, looking extremely uncomfortable. It's good, it's something else to focus on. I doubt she will tell me anything, but when she looks away from me to the sun, she tells me everything about how uncomfortable she is sharing this. "We're both from that world. He followed me through."

I wasn't expecting that. "Why would he do that?"

"Because I'm his mate and I'm a wolf shifter and so is he, but he's an alpha. Essentially means that he can control a pack, do whatever he likes, and in the same way that mates work in this world, it's the same for the world I'm from. The alpha was my brother, is my brother. I found out answers to my family and what happened. I was sent here because I'm an alpha female and powerful. Back then, it was dangerous for people like me."

"Hope." I touch her arm. "Why didn't you stay?"

"Despite everything going wrong here, this world is my choice and my home. I looked for my family for my entire life, like it could give me some kind of closure on wanting something more, but the truth was, when I found it, I actually didn't want it." She sighs. "I know that sounds mad, but it's true."

"I wanted to go back to Earth so much that I was blocking out all the reasons that I'd found to stay in this world. When I was back on Earth, with a chance to just stay there and live a normal life, have everything that I'd asked for—what they'd given me on a plate—I didn't want it. I desperately wanted the life that I already had and chose for myself. I came back here to fight for this world, and I wouldn't ever willingly leave. It's my home and I understand why you didn't stay there." I cock my head to the side. "So, the sexy tutor, he's your mate? I always thought there was something between you two, but I didn't want to be pushy."

She snorts in laughter for a second. "He chose a religion that makes sure that he can't have sex or take a mate so he didn't have to watch me with Lysander. I chose Lysander because he saved me, but I actually wanted Xandry first, but he was my only real friend and I didn't want to risk him rejecting me, so I took an easier path. I think he now thinks I rejected him. It's all a mess. Oh gods, my love life is messier than yours." I really try hard not to laugh because she is sort of right. It's messy but it sounds like a conversation could solve so many of their problems.

My efforts to not look amused fail, and we both burst out laughing together. "I'm pretty sure it's loads of girls' fantasies to tame a priest, so you should go and do that." I wipe away my tears of laughter and get serious for a second. "He's right there, Hope. He's gorgeous and, from the little I know of him, brave enough to follow you through to another world and then back."

"I know. I think I'm scared to tell him how I feel, and I'm rarely scared of anything." She turns to me. "I'm going to the Water Court. Lysander and Kian asked me to escort their mum back with Xandry and secure the court. Make them aware their king is back and pissed off."

I wince. "That will be dangerous. You don't have to?—"

"You're not the only one who wants to defend her home. The Water Court is fucked up, but it's my home and I need to try to fix it. I'll be okay," she promises.

"I know you're not a hugger, but this once. Don't stab me." I wrap my arms around her tightly before she can run away. Surprisingly, she hugs me back, but it's a quick hug as she pulls away, leaning her hip on the wall. I leave her to it, knowing it's time I found Lysander before he leaves.

"You're my best friend, you know. Just in case you die before I see you next. Don't fucking haunt me."

"You're on the top of my list, bestie," I say, winking at her, and she laughs as I slip back into the castle. I'm not even joking. I have a list, and pissing her off by haunting her is definitely how I'll keep myself amused. Not that I plan on dying anytime soon. I walk back to the castle, down through the rooms, touching the walls as I go to say hello to my magical castle friend. I go back to our rooms, looking for Lysander, but instead I find the matron alone on the couch by the fire. "Hello."

"Princess." She bows her head low and stands up, her black cloak pooling at her feet. "Has he told you yet?"

"Who told me what?" I question.

She taps her stick on the stone as she walks to me and then straight past me to the door. "Not yet, then. I will find you again, princess." She vanishes into thin air, leaving me staring at the space she was in and wondering if she meant Terrin. The matron is scary in a way I can't explain, and the thought of her coming back to see me doesn't settle well. The castle clearly puts up with her, and she can't be a threat if the castle is okay with her around. It's too protective.

I head back out of the rooms and trust my senses to search for my king. I may not be able to speak in my mind to him, but I can find him. He's my mate. I'm surprised when I find myself getting lower and lower in the castle until I come to the once guarded doors, where no guards stand. Lysander stands before the dark doors, black leather scaled armour covering him from his neck to his dark, heavy boots. "Don't tell me you're going in there."

"Do you think I'd do that alone, spirit witch?" he murmurs, turning to fully face me. I smile at his frown, at the serious set of his eyebrows. "I was thinking of a way to block this off so you don't go in there without me to protect you. It's driving me fucking insane thinking I might not?—"

"Don't you fucking say what I think you are about to," I snarl, anger rising like a storm in my blood. "I won't go in there, and you'll know that because you're going to win and come back. You're Lysander, the fucking king of the water and sea and everything in the Water Court. You. Don't. Lose. Promise me. You can't die."

He closes the space between us, slipping his hand around the back of my neck, sinking his fingers into my hair, searching my eyes, knowing that only he can make me feel this way. Loving Lysander is like loving the sea itself, like sinking in a force of nature that no one can control, and he only wants me. "The last thing I'd do is drown this world and leave only you left. For the record between us, death may try to part us one day, but I'm a stubborn fucker and I'm holding onto you."

My heart races. "I'm not letting go either. Fight for me. Come back. I would like it if you left my other mates alive with us if you decide to drown the world. I'm kind of partial to them."

He shrugs. "I don't give a fuck."

I hit his shoulder, but he catches my hand, twisting and pinning it behind my back before crushing his lips down on mine, kissing me deeply and branding me as his. He doesn't need to, I'm hopelessly his already. Time fades into just numbers with Lysander, like there is no beginning or end to the clock. Soon, I'm breathless and panting. Only then does he let me go. "I'll come back; I'll win and then sink my cock into you for my prize."

Heat trickles down my spine as he lets me go, and I want to grab him, lock him away so there isn't a chance of losing one of my mates. Is this how they felt as I did dangerous things over and over to save them? The darkness behind me seems to whisper in my ear as he walks up the steps, clicking his fingers and a portal opening. The song of the fifth court plays for Lysander, and if that isn't welcoming him as a future king consort to me, I don't know what is. Lysander looks over his shoulder once, right before plunging into the court of our enemies.