Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

" E mrys," I whisper. It's him again. We are in the same place as before, this strange dream place that almost feels familiar to me. He's standing on a boat in the sea that looks like fog. It's so familiar, but I can't put my finger on where I've seen it before. Pretty though. I watch it slowly float, even when there are no waves or current. The water doesn't move. I walk through the fog-like water that just parts around my legs. Emrys offers me a hand and I step into the boat. We stare at each other, and he is smiling. Not as big as my smile, just before I throw myself into his arms, hugging him tightly. I can't smell his scent here. It's unnerving and I miss him. The real him. He holds me back, and he doesn't let go. "You came back."

He leans only slightly away from me to cup my face, his hands tucking my hair behind my ears. "There isn't any place in any world that I wouldn't come back for you, Elle. It's time."

My mouth parts. I want to kiss him, be with him, but he seems serious now. "What is time? If you're telling me it's time for you to die, we are going to have a big disagreement." I'm so scared of that thought I can't stop talking. "We are doing the tests. We are fighting for you, and I need you to hold on. Please, just please don't go. Please, I'll beg. I'll do?—"

He kisses me, his lips pressing on mine before parting them. I melt into his touch, my eyes closing, and I let myself be lost in Emrys. "You need to go into the darkness below. It's time."

I shake my head. "I can't. You're not with us now. It could rip me apart and kill us all."

"Do you really believe I need my body to be with you?" he questions, covering my heart with his palm. "Our souls are one and you can call me any place, any time. I will always be with you, and so will they. You don't need your mates to go down to the darkness, and you do not need them to be crowned Queen of Ayiolyn. You were born to claim that title, and you already have your mates. It all waits for you in the darkness, and fearing it will end us all first.

"We are bonded to you. We always have been since our births. I can see it all now." He looks around us, and I see nothing but fog in every direction. "You can call them from down in the darkness to complete the mating when you're ready. You can call me too. I am yours now, to the end of our time, and even if there's only an inch of my soul left in existence, I belong with you. I always will do. It is time, Ellelin, to be braver than you ever have been. To face what is coming. This is the only day you will get before you face the final test that she has planned for you. You must have all the powers, or you'll die."

He is scaring me. "How do you know this?"

He strokes my back with his hand. "When your soul is not fully connected to a body, you wander and watch." He searches my eyes. "Don't be scared. I haven't let go yet."

Yet. Yet. Yet. I hate that. "Emrys…"

"It's going to be okay. Don't look so heartbroken. But wake up and face it for us. Grayson will win his test; I am sure of it. In the meantime, you need to go down to the darkness alone. It is yours to face. It always has been. Without the others. They will stop you and they do not understand. I did not until now. Only you were born in the darkness and shadows. Only you can command them. I've seen it. I understand now." He soothes me with more madness. "Trust me, Elle. Do as I ask."

I can't catch him as he steps away from me. It feels like he's fading away with time, and no matter what I do, I won't be able to grasp him back. I scream his name, but it's too late. He is in the fog, and I can't see him anymore.

I wake up in a cold sweat and there's sunlight pouring through the windows, right into my face until everything is a bright yellow. "Gray?" I look around for him. We went to bed together last night. I wanted to spend as much time as I could with him before the test. Arden went back to his court to deal with some business there. Lysander was with his brother and Arty, making preparations for their mating, or marriage. Gray kept me up all night, happily, until we both collapsed and fell asleep. "What the air king claimed was true. Are you ready?"

I sit up straight and blink a few times because this can't be real. The matron is actually sitting in a chair by the fire, near the end of my bed. The flames of the fire are casting bright orange lights across her dark cloak. Her cloak covers her face, and her stick is resting over her legs. She looks at home and she hasn't even bothered to glance my way. "What are you doing in here?"

"Waiting for you to receive Emrys's message. It's time to escort you to the darkness." She finally looks at me. "And I've waited to bring you."

Not at all creepy. "I need to talk to my mates about it first?—"

"They can stop you or demand to enter at your side. You were interrupted once before, and if you hadn't been, the darkness would not have let them in either way. They do not understand. Their blood doesn't run deep in the generations of fifth court royals. It is not their element. You are the princess of spirit. You are the princess of darkness and the very essence of it. If you do not go, then you die."

She has thought this through, then. It feels wrong to not tell them where I'm going, and it's not something I want to do. "I could die down there. It's killed my ancestors."

Her voice carries through the air. "That was because they were not chosen or invited. You are both."

"Did they know that?" I lean forward. "Did my grandparents know, or did you lead them down there?"

"Yes, they knew, and I advised them not to enter. They were grabbing power that was not rightfully theirs. Everyone's soul is tested in the darkness. Only someone who wants the best for this world, who deserves it and has been chosen, will be able to access his power." She speaks with clarity, but I don't understand this all, and something screams in my chest to tell the others. But if she is right, they won't let me go in there, and I won't be able to save my people. I won't be able to save everyone. This castle has always looked after me and been kind. It sang songs to me and got me out when the court fell. It saved me over and over, and likely more times than I know. I might not trust her, but the castle? I trust this castle with my life.

I've been spooked since Terrin told me everything and we went to see the tsar and his sister. Neither one of them said a word, like they had discussed this all and knew. But I could tell the tsar was shocked and pissed off. I know he didn't know about Terrin, even if he refused to show it.

I watch her. "You've been here, right? You saw my father go into that darkness. You saw him come out with that sword, which was from Cronus. He died."

For once, I actually see some emotion on her face. "Your father was a great man and a good king. He ruled well, and I liked him. I liked him enough not to let the darkness kill him and to offer him help instead, saving you and your mother. That's all he ever wanted. Did you know that? He just wanted you to live. A solution to his problems was what we gave him with that sword." We both glance at it, resting on the wall. "It's alive, as you well know, and it will aid you. It's a magical sword that is bursting with life."

I climb off the bed and walk over, stopping in front of her chair. I lean down so we are at eye level, noting how she smells like jasmine and winter nights. "You want me to trust you?"

"Did I not save your mate when he was only a boy from a life of cruelty that would have shaped him into a monster, a monster not even you could have saved? Did I not play the events to make sure that you were chosen and brought here? Chosen and brought here so that you could meet your other mates to free your mother to begin this quest. All of this hasn't just played out but has been shaped by me. Trust that this castle and I have kept you alive, kept you on the right path for a very long time." She offers me her hand, turning it over. In her palm is the Spirit Court crest. "I am bound to this court, and I would choose nothing different. I want not to rule but live in this castle in peace. To guide and watch the rulers of this world, but never be the ruler. I vow on my powers and immortal life."

"But why me? Why am I this chosen person? I never asked for this. I never wanted it."

"You were born to it, Ellelin, and the power in your veins is nothing short of the power that makes gods." She sighs and rises to her feet. "I have seen four futures for you. Four different futures, and only one of them is a fate you will survive. Two of them depend on you coming with me."

"Risk my life, not tell my mates, and believe you can see the future?" I question. "I do not keep secrets from them and risk everything!"

"You will soon be a queen of this world, and risking everything is a small price to pay. Yes, they are your kings and mates. That much is true, but you will be the queen of all elements. Only you will unite them. That does not come without risk or trust. If you do not trust me, then I will leave. If you do, then I will wait here while you get dressed. We will go to the darkness." She walks to the door. She pauses, never looking back at me. "The future I saw was happy. You were vacationing on Earth at Halloween, with your twin boys and mates. The twins were dressed up and collecting sweets as one more child brewed in your belly. There was peace in Ayiolyn under your rule, and a great elemental council presided over the courts, which were united for the first time. This future is waiting for you."

My heart is racing. "Wait!" I shout to stop her opening the door. I've never thought about having children before, but suddenly I want to hear what they would look like, what they might be like. Twins…boys. I don't know why, but something in my soul screams that it's right. "The twins…were they? I mean, tell me something about them. Please."

She touches the handle of the door. "Both of them have black hair and multicoloured eyes, which reflect the powers they have. One power from every court as they are the children of you all, magically bound." She walks out and shuts the door behind her, leaving me standing and watching nothing but my imagining of them. Imagining a future where I would feel safe enough to even have kids. I know it's completely and utterly mad to go with her into the darkness alone. The answers to releasing my people are down there, the magic to be able to do so.

"Your heart is racing. Are you well?"

Terrin's voice in my head makes me jump, and I know I can't tell him anything. "I'm fine," I lie even if it makes me feel sick to say it. "Just a bad dream."

"Come and ride. The fresh air will clear your mind," his soothing voice offers. Things are weird between us at the moment, and until now, I didn't realise what it is like to keep a big secret from my mate. I know deep down he did it because it wasn't the right time, but I hate that there is something like this hovering.

"I will soon. You know I love you and who you are. It changes nothing for me. You can decide whatever you want: be a tsar and rule, don't. I just want you and that won't change," I whisper back to him.

He is quiet for a moment. "I love you too. I don't know what I need to do, but with you at my side…we will find the answer."

"We will. Speak soon." I block him out as best I can. I know he'll be suspicious of that, but he'll stop me, and I can't control how I'm going to be scared. I choose some comfortable black clothes and go to the bathroom. My long-sleeve top sticks to me, and I tuck the end into my high-waisted, tight dark jeans before putting my boots on. I throw on a cloak, one hanging on the back of the door, because it might hide who I am for a moment longer.

Before walking out, I catch my reflection in the mirror. My hair is down, falling in purple waves down my chest to my waist. My eyes sparkle blue and remind me of Lysander's element. I'm doing this for them. Before I get to the door, it opens. Instead of the corridor outside, it opens straight into the corridor at the bottom of the castle, right opposite the doors to the darkness. I glance at the matron standing next to the doors. "You're going to have to teach me that trick with the castle. It would make getting around a lot easier."

She flashes me a secretive smile, suggesting she will not be doing that. The doors to my bedroom slam shut behind me, and with a wave of her hand, all the doors lock, except for the ones in the darkness. "I will wait here until you return, princess, but you will come out as queen. The title princess ends. I will stop the kings from entering if I must."

"Do not hurt them," I warn her, and she nods once. "Tell them it was my choice and to wait for me. That I'm sorry."

My heart races as I go to the door. I feel like I'm being called here, like I have been called here since I was a baby. This dark place was waiting for me, and I've avoided it long enough. The darkness. I straighten my back, standing in front of the doors, and grab the handles. I know everything will change when I go in here. Maybe I want it to be that way. I don't have enough power to save this world when actual power has been sitting down there in my castle the whole time. I turn the handles, and I push the doors, which open for me, revealing a cloud of glittering black dust. I feel like it wraps around me, pulling me inside. A scream echoes out of my mouth as I'm thrown forward into nothing but glittering black darkness that has no end, no smell and no feel to it.

I'm thrown to my knees, invisible pressure pushing down on my shoulders. My arms are yanked out in front of me, and the dragon marks on my wrist begin to glow the colour of the element they are from. The red dragon for Arden, my fire king. A blue dragon for Lysander, my water king. A silver one for Emrys, my air king, who I will not lose. The final one glows a vibrant green for Grayson, my earth king. A new one appears, right below Lysander's, a black glittering dragon marking outlined in yellow. The yellow and black glow for Terrin, my king of the West.

I drag my eyes up and around, looking at the moving fog that seems alive, like it's real and far more than a fog or darkness could be. The song of the fifth court starts playing, loud and humming. The beat vibrates the floor under my knees, and in the darkness, I relax. Slowly, a room starts to appear around me, the darkness fading away, until slowly, I realise I'm in a very plain room with white walls and dark black square tiles across the ground. There are no windows, no doors, nothing but the walls.

A man stands in the middle of it, a man who I wished I'd never see again, and instantly fears slams into my chest. The commander. He doesn't look right. He looks pale…and dead.

He's dead.

He holds a sword in his hand, and the force pushing my arms up and holding me in place disappears. I reach for my powers, but nothing happens. I have no one to stop me as he runs at me with his sword raised high, a battle roar coming from his mouth. I scream, barely rolling out of the way. He slams the sword straight onto the stone, and it clangs. I reach for my powers again, but they don't come. "Fuck." No powers, great.

The commander swings his sword at me again. This time, he hits me straight through my leg, and I scream as I fall onto the floor, blood pouring out of the wound. As he looks down at me, I freeze. I'm back on that bed, those drugs in my system, and I can't move. I can't fight him. I need my mates. I don't know why Arden comes to mind first, but he does. The minute I think of him, fiery flames appear in my hands, like they've been carried in on the wind for me to use. Arden's flames burst from my fingertips and blast over the commander. He screams and begs, but the flames take on their own life, burning and destroying, taking and taking until there is nothing but ash and dust. The sword clinks onto the ground in front of me. My eyes widen as I look down at my hands, the flames still rolling around my fingertips before dancing down my wrists and into the dragon there. The feeling of a fire burning hot through my blood is so different from my shadow power. "What was that?"

"You. You are connected to them all, Queen of Ayiolyn. You faced your greatest fear alone." The glittering darkness appears again. I see nothing more than a cloud of sparkling black dust in front of me, playing the fifth court song again and again, a haunting melody echoing in my ears, but I know it's a lullaby. It's our song.

I stare at the darkness, the magic bound down here, and how endless it actually is. It is pure power, like nothing I've seen or felt before. "Thank you for saving me. I was born here, and you never gave up on me, did you?"

"Never," the darkness whispers back, the male voice old and ancient. Soothing, like a grandfather speaking to his grandchild. "I saw your birth long before you came into my castle, kicking your little legs and screaming. You were prophesied to save the world I love. Ayiolyn. I did everything possible to save you and make sure you have a life, a future. What do you want?"

"I want a better world. I want a world where people are all free, united and equal. Earth has its problems, but in some places, it's like that. I think Ayiolyn can be the same. Everyone can have their magic; we can be united under one ruler. I want my mates; I want the future that I have tirelessly fought for, and one that I can have my children grow up in. Safe. You said I was chosen to unite this land, to make it better, and I felt like I couldn't do it. Now I realise I will do anything to make a world where men like him are not in charge. I was born here, in this castle." I smile at the darkness. "You're like a parent I didn't notice, and I'm sorry. I belong here with my family, and that is you, isn't it?"

The darkness was always my home. It moves to me, the cloud of sparkling darkness spreading around my body like an embrace. It's more than that, it's power. I feel the weight of the crown nestling in my hair, and the endless power that bursts throughout my body. I feel every bit of the castle. I find my mates and direct them to me. Terrin, I find outside and then my people. Each one has darkness wrapped around them, and it's easy enough to pull it away, one by one. I see them shift back into people, thousands of them, but they can shift when they want. My people of the Spirit Court. I leave Terrin till last, watching as the spell is broken on my mate.

"Connect to your elements," a male voice commands me, an ancient voice of power and darkness. A voice I will never forget. "Fire." Red fire shoots out of the wall, but I don't fear it. It's Arden. It's Arden in every way. The fire begins to slowly spin around me in circles. "Water." Blue water shoots out of the floor and does the same thing, spinning around, dancing with the fire almost. "Earth." A vine bursts out of the ground before wrapping in knots, before making circles, spinning in the air around the water and fire. "Air." A cold gust of air blows into the room. The silvery sparkling magic joins the circle until it's spinning around me so much that I can only just see the darkness.

"Darkness." The cloud itself spins, joining the elements, spinning around so fast my feet are lifted off the ground and I'm floating in the air as the darkness pushes and wraps tightly around all the elements, blocking out all the light before slamming them straight into me. I gasp, feeling the power burning through my veins, but it hurts. It feels like it's ripping my body apart and making it anew. I light up with each element, glowing from head to toe, and when I open my eyes, I see my mates. All five of them are standing in the room, the glow of my light across their bodies, and they are in awe.

One by one, they kneel and bow. Their crowns appear on their heads, one by one, the crowns I saw with my father. They each glow, and only Terrin is left without a crown, but he is glowing yellow. Gold almost. It's the darkness's voice that echoes. "Bow to the Queen of Ayiolyn, the elemental queen of the dragons."