Chapter 8

* * *

ALEC

Alec pulledhis truck over and put it in park, there on the side of the road. Resting his head and forearms on the steering wheel, he was trying to calm his spinning head and racing heart. Maybe this was real? Maybe they had both changed and suffered enough loss to give this a try again. He was shocked at how understanding and easy she seemed to be, and he couldn’t understand the ‘why’ behind it.

He had never been on a date that had been so tense, nor had he left a woman without a kiss or a hug before the end of the evening – and it was unsettling at how much he craved it. It was also part of the reason he left. Neither of them needed to get the wrong idea about whatever this was.

Grabbing his phone in the cupholder of his truck, he texted Willow.

How about coffee tomorrow?

I would really like that.

I’ll bring the tiramisu back, and we can share it.

Is five o’clock okay?

Yes. That sounds perfect.

Coffee between old friends.

Exactly.

Alec put his phone in the cupholder once more and put the truck into gear, only to see the screen light up once more. Putting the truck back into park, he picked up his phone and smiled.

Thank you for this evening – it was so nice to see your smile again.

You too, Willow.

“Mannnn,” Alec muttered aloud. “There is no way I’m telling the guys about this. They’ll never let me live it down that I’m just as stupid and gullible as they are when it comes to the opposite sex. Maybe Colton and Justin were right about letting the past go and learning from it.”

* * *

The next afternoon,Alec grabbed the dish from the fridge and headed out across the gravel driveway toward his truck parked in the distance. His mother was in the yard, pulling weeds and cutting flowers, when he hesitated and walked toward her.

“Are you heading out, sweetie?” his mother asked, looking surprised at the unexpected interruption.

“C-Could I have a few of those?” he blurted out, feeling like a fool and realizing he shouldn’t have stopped because it was only going to cause a bunch of questions from both females – his mother and Willow.

“Flowers?” his mother gaped in shock. “You want some… flowers?” – and shoved the entire bouquet she’d been creating at him. “Here, take the whole bloomin’ thing.”

“Really?”

“Oh my gosh, yes. Just take it and go. I know you, and you’ll talk yourself out of it – so…”

“Actually, you keep them and…”

“Alec! Take the blasted things with you!” she snapped, frowning – and he couldn’t help but laugh. His mother was so easy to get riled up and frustrated. One day he was joking about how he didn’t want any children when he got married, and he thought she was going to have a fit. She started yelling at him, throwing the TV remote, and got up off the couch to chase him with her slipper in her hand. She wanted him happy, surrounded by children, and he just didn’t understand why until she spoke.

“Take the flowers,” she said again with this weird look on her face. “You look so much like your father right now and I was always so happy you got his eyes. I hope that someday you get to look into those eyes and pass along those Beckett Beauties. I’ll never forget that look on your father’s face when you first looked up at him. He was so proud. We may not have had a lot when you were growing up, but family and legacy is something you’ll always have…”

And wiped her eyes, chuckling.

“Look at me getting all emotional,” she said thickly, getting to her feet and looking at him. “I think maybe it’s time for some hot tea. It was a busy morning at the shop.”

“Ma, I know you want grandkids and…”

“Alec, having children is one of the most satisfying and hardest things to do. There’s so much doubt in your head; you are afraid you are raising one messed-up little version of yourself, plus they are expensive,” she laughed nervously, smiling at him. “Of course, I want to hold my grandbaby someday, but I’m not raising them. I just want you to experience all those feelings and emotions because you have grown into an amazing man – just like your Daddy was, and if he was here, he’d probably ask you why you were dawdling with a bunch of wilted flowers.”

At her smile, he looked down and met her eyes nervously.

“Just enjoy your life, give it everything you can, because it can change in an instant – and we both know that.”

Alec nodded and hesitated. He had been riding his bike down the street when he rode past his house and saw the fire chief’s car in the driveway. Running inside, he was slapped with the reality that his father was never coming home. The tears, the screams of denial, and the way he and his mother clung to each other for hours would be something he never forgot or shared with anyone. Yeah, he might have a smartmouth and vicious tongue, but only because it protected a very soft heart that belonged to a very rare, select few people in his life.

“Ma…?”

“Yeah, baby?”

“The flowers are for Willow.”

“I suspected as much.”

“You don’t mind?”

“Honey, I know you still care for her – I just want you to be happy. If she makes you happy, then I am beside myself with joy.”

“We’re just talking.”

“That’s how it starts,” she smiled at him and patted his cheek. “Go while the flowers still look nice – and have a good time.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Nodding, Alec murmured his thanks again and stared at the bouquet in his hand. Lilies, peonies, irises, and a variety of other cuttings in every sort of color were practically glowing and looked very thrown together. It wasn’t a fancy bouquet of roses, but it was from the heart.

* * *

Ten minutes later,Alec was even more nervous. The flowers looked like they needed water, a vase, or something pretty quickly. As he picked them up off the passenger seat of his truck, he noticed a few petals were already falling and rolled his eyes.

Willow was going to think this was so stupid of him.

Knocking on the door, he almost chucked them into the bushes as he heard a sound, followed by the door opening before him. The moment he met her eyes and she started to push the screen door open to let him inside, her gaze dropped, and he would never forget that look until the day he died.

His mother used to tell him that memories were ‘simple snapshots’ of precious moments that would be forever engrained in the soul. You remembered moments by a certain look, a smell, a feeling but rarely was it ever an entire experience.

Right now, it was eighty-five degrees outside, pollen everywhere, the sun was still high in the sky, the birds were singing, and he would forever smell that honeysuckle in the air associating it with the look in Willow’s eyes. The two would be synonymous, and he was going to buy her some honeysuckle perfume next.

“Hi,” he said hoarsely, looking at her and trying not to stammer as he felt completely bowled over. Her eyes were huge in her face, a brilliant hazel, but there was an obvious melting visible within those orbs, those windows to the soul. Her lips parted, that soft intake of air creating a gasp, as she looked at him in surprise.

“You brought… flowers?”

“A few from Mom’s garden. It’s just a little something and…”

“Oh, Alec,” she began emotionally, reaching forward and grabbing him by the front of his shirt, pulling him inside. He nearly tripped over his feet at the aggressive move – and loved it.

This is just coffee;his brain kept chanting repeatedly. Coffee. That’s it. Don’t make a big deal about coffee with your ex-girlfriend. Smashed beans and hot water. Looks like dirt – tastes divine. Coffee, and that’s it.

His heart was pounding in his chest, and his stomach was doing some weird flippy-floppy things, but the look on her face was something he would never forget… a vital memory.

“Let me get a vase,” Willow began frantically, fanning herself and wiping her eyes as she searched random cabinets, letting the cabinet doors slam noisily. This wasn’t like her. She looked almost panicked, talking quickly as she rushed through several of the cabinets blindly in the kitchen. “Oh my goodness. I don’t know what to say. I’m just completely bowled over and…”

To his utter shock, she stopped and put her face in her hands.

“Willow?” he breathed, unsure of what was happening. He had barely walked in the front door, in fact it was still open, and he was standing there in the entryway, clutching the drooping flowers… and she was crying?

Alec could hear the tearful, heartbreaking sobs, and everything screeched to a halt in his brain. He dropped the flowers on the floor, moved to her side, and pulled her to him. His hands were trembling, she was crying against his chest, and everything within his soul was urging him to comfort her.

She never cried, not like this. She might get weepy, glassy-eyed, or get close, but this was broken, ugly, bone-jarring, heartbreaking tears. For the second time in forever, he was scared.

“If you get snot on me… I’m out,” he whispered, smoothing her hair, desperately needing to make her laugh – and she did. She let out a tearful laugh, followed by a hiccup, but didn’t move. “I thought they were pretty, but they did wilt on the way over. If weeds don’t work than, I guess I can quit being a cheapskate and actually spring for something nice… eventually.”

“I’ve never gotten flowers before,” she whispered against his chest, burying her face as if she was ashamed. He hesitated, her words hitting him hard.

“What do you mean? You’ve gotten flowers before…” and Alec’s voice trailed off as he froze, searching his mind for that moment, before realizing that it wasn’t there. He had never given her flowers when they were dating, but nobody else had either?

“Wait a second…” he began, confused. “What about when you were in college? All of your other boyfriends didn’t get you flowers either?”

And Willow pushed away from him, keeping her face hidden as she yanked a paper towel from the holder. Turning on the water, she wet the towel and started to wipe her face as he circled around her, trying to look her in the face to get a glimpse of what she was thinking, and she kept turning away from him.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m being stupid about things and…”

“Willow, what’s going on?”

“Nothing,” she replied brightly, plastering a fake smile on her face as she finally looked at him. “Nothing is going on. I had a small breakdown, okay? People have them when they are stressed, nervous, or…”

Her voice faded and he didn’t hear anything else as the truth hit him like a ton of bricks – she never dated anyone else. He was her first kiss, her first love, and she had stayed faithful to him over the years, and he was a horrible boyfriend!

Alec never brought her flowers, never gave her gifts, heck – he never went to any of the high school dances or even his prom because it didn’t mean anything to him, but it did to her.

“I think I’m gonna be sick,” he whispered, leaning against the counter opposite of her as they stared at each other. Willow had never dated anyone else like he’d accused her of doing – and he had. He had asked other women out to wipe her memory from his mind. He had slept with other women trying to wash away the fantasies and dreams that he knew would never come, and he felt beyond filthy and ashamed of himself right now.

He was a complete loser, and she was an angel.

“Oh gosh… I’m really going to be sick,” he whispered hoarsely and met her eyes, flinching at the awareness in them as her ‘mask’ cracked.

“I never dated anyone else, Alec,” she said brokenly, her voice trembling with emotion as her fake smile faded with awareness. Her eyes met his, and he saw the hurt in them as he stood before her silently. “… But you did, didn’t you? The Flirt’s Battalion has quite a reputation in town, and I’m sure it never dawned on you that I might come back home, right?”

“We were over,” he said limply. “Remember?”

“Yes.”

“You never dated anyone else?”

“No – but you did?”

“Yes,” he breathed, condemning himself and refusing to lie to her. “I was hurting and wanted…” his voice trailed off as it hit him hard. “I wanted to wipe away the memory of you. I thought you dumped me because I wasn’t good enough and that you wanted to move on. I was hurting and lonely, so yeah – I dated.”

“I wanted you to be proud of me,” she began in a hushed voice, thick with tears. “I never meant to hurt you, to truly end what we had, but I needed time – and no,” she paused as a painful sob escaped her. “No, I never expected you to be faithful to me because we were over. We ended our relationship badly. Neither of us are saints…”

“But I’m a moron,” he blurted out – and unbelievably, she stepped closer to him, wrapping her arms around his middle… hugging him. How could she be so kind, so loving, and so sweet? When he thought of her dating someone else, he raged internally, stewing at the thought of someone else holding her close. His arms closed around her as he put his cheek against her hair. “I’m so sorry for everything… including being the biggest moron in town.”

“The world,” she whispered in the silence. “You are the biggest moron in the world, Alec…” – and he laughed tearfully, not moving. It had been so long since, and his emotional well inside of him was craving this.

“Yup, that’s me.”

They stood there, the flowers on the floor, holding each other, both afraid to move or say something to shatter this unexpected peace between them. Neither was lobbing angry statements, throwing hateful glares, or lashing out. It was like both were waving a white flag of surrender because they were simply tired of fighting.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered again against her hair. “I’ll do better this time.”

“I’m just happy to have a ‘this time,’” she replied, squeezing him gently.

“Me too.”

If this was truly the second chance he was getting, Alec was going to give this time his all. Yeah, he might grumble, mouth off, or flap his lips with the guys, but here… with her?

He was a thousand percent invested in whatever was starting to take shape from the ground up.

“I’ve got an idea,” he breathed softly, smiling. “Since I’m such a crappy boyfriend, how about we make things a little easier on me – you know, less chance to screw things up?” And felt her soft little laugh against his chest before he continued speaking. “Maybe we do something different, outside the norm, but with an added benefit?”

Willow tensed slightly in his arms – eerily silent and waiting.

“How about instead of me showing up with a bunch of wilting stuff that leaves pollen everywhere… maybe we can work together to build our own flower bed, so I could snag a fresh cutting to surprise you? It could give us something to do together.”

She pulled back from him, looking him in the face. Her lovely eyes searched his and he felt his whole heart swell at the joy shimmering in her gaze. Yeah, he was going to fix this between them, somehow. Nervously, he reached up and touched her cheek, marveling at the way her eyes closed slowly before looking at him again.

“Let’s figure out what round two looks like – together,” he breathed, not looking away from her. “I’m not perfect, but I’m here… and willing to try.”

“I never wanted perfect,” she began, her lip trembling.

“Shall we skip the coffee and go look at the garden center? Mom swears by them and always buys her bulbs there.”

“You’re serious…”

“Very,” he nodded and gave her a sheepish smile. “I’m very serious – and very scared, but I’m here for whatever this is. However, I do have a favor to ask that is going to sound really weird.”

“What’s that?”

“Can we keep this to ourselves for a bit?” and Alec winced, imagining how badly that could sound to someone. “I mean, no offense, but you weren’t here for the aftermath after things went south. I got questioned about what happened for almost a year last time, and there is nothing more that this town loves than gossip – both good and bad.”

“Can I modify that slightly?” Willow began, looking a little nervous herself. “With the election coming and us trying to smooth things over, I might need a date… publicly if there is an event.”

“Are you seriously asking permission to use me to ‘grease’ the public’s perception of you in the near future?” Alec laughed throatily, completely amused. “Have you met me? Are you sure you want to be associated with someone like me? I’m sarcastic, crass, and don’t believe in sugar-coating things…”

“You are charming, outgoing, honest-to-a-fault,” she began and met his smile. “And I would be thrilled to be on your arm at an event – even if it’s as only friends.”

“No more charity auctions where I’m the prize?”

“Oh, you’re a prize, all right,” she chuckled before sliding into his arms for another hug. “But perhaps we’ll stick with chili cook-offs and other things.”

“True, true,” he smiled, holding her close and resting his cheek on her head once more. “Let’s take things slow, but I’m serious about the flower garden. I mean, I could use all the help I could get… and on that note? Maybe you should go to the garden center with Mom, so she knows what I should plant and the rumor mill doesn’t start churning.”

“Uh, I don’t know that…” Willow began, withdrawing and pulling back slightly. “I don’t think your mother will want to be in the same room as me.”

“It will be fine – I promise. Now, let’s have a little coffee and tiramisu instead. Caffeine and sugar tonight, digging up your yard tomorrow.”

“Well, for someone who wants to take things slow, you sure are making yourself at home.”

“Inviting myself right on in,” he smiled.