Chapter Seventeen

Pasha

Today was going to be a day.

Today, I had a mediation meeting with Blake's sister, Sandra, Raymond, his lawyer, the judge, and me. I wasn't looking forward to this, but I was ready to get it over with. I needed it to be over. Sandra was very disappointed in my decision to forgo everything we had previously decided to go after. Maybe I was stupid. Maybe I was crazy. But this was what I wanted.

What I didn't want was to deal with Raymond ever again. I didn't want to look over my shoulder if I got half of everything because he could be spiteful. I could see him putting sugar in my gas tank if I was granted the car he'd bought me. I could see him hiding money if he was forced to pay me. I could see myself being harassed regularly for simply existing in a world where I had the things I was entitled to.

I didn't want that. I took Callum's advice and decided it was time to protect my peace. Speaking of Callum, God knew what he was doing when he crafted that man. He was making it hard not to be his friend. He was so sweet, understanding, and affirming. My heart could get into serious trouble with him, and I was beginning to think I might enjoy the ride.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Sandra asked as we waited outside the judge's chambers.

"Yes."

"After what he's done, you deserve everything we asked for. You're walking away from a lot, Pasha."

I shook my head. "I have full faith that I'm walking into something greater, Sandra."

She squeezed my hand. "I was really going to enjoy nailing his smug ass and that lawyer to the cross."

I giggled. "I know you were. That's why I'm requesting he pay your fees."

"I'll take that. I'd never charge you, but he can absolutely run me my money."

We shared a laugh as approaching footsteps caused us to turn our heads. Raymond, Adora, and his lawyer strolled down the hall and took seats across from us. Raymond glared at me as he rubbed Adora's stomach. She looked like she was due any day now, and I couldn't hide my discomfort from seeing her. She was carrying a life with him. While I wished no harm to her innocent baby, I didn't want to see them together.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. They remained closed until the bailiff called us into the judge's chambers. We stood until Judge Parker entered the room and motioned for us to sit.

"Good morning," she spoke to the room. "Today, we are here to discuss the mediation for Sinclaire vs. Sinclaire. Mrs. Sinclaire, you filed a motion going forward after citing Mr. Sinclaire for adultery, abandonment, cruelty, isolation, and emotional distress. You were also seeking alimony and to have him pay for your therapy, correct?"

"Yes, Your Honor."

"May I speak, Your Honor?" Sandra asked. "My client has made some decisions I want to present to the court."

Judge Parker raised an eyebrow and sat back in her seat. "You may proceed."

Sandra clasped her hands together as she spoke. "Mrs. Sinclaire has informed me that she wishes to withdraw her petition."

"Do you care to explain, Mrs. Sinclaire?" the judge asked me.

"Yes, ma'am." I stood to my feet and smoothed over my blouse. Taking a deep breath, I turned to face her. "Your Honor, I've spent the last few years of my life in a state of grief and depression. I lost my parents, and I lost my child. I've watched my once-loving husband grow to hate me because those two losses changed me. He made his disdain for me very obvious. There is nothing I want more than to be done with this man and move forward with my life. He can have it all. I only ask that he pay my attorney her fees and my therapy. That's it. He can keep the alimony and have all the assets."

She looked at me and then at Raymond, who held a confused look on his face.

"Are you sure, Mrs. Sinclaire? Once I make the ruling, there is no changing it."

"I'm sure, Your Honor. I've spent my entire life being taken care of. First, by my parents, then by my husband. It's time I stand on my own two feet. I will never give anybody else the power to say I wouldn't have this or that if it weren't for them. I've thought about this. I've prayed about it, and now, it's out of my hands."

She smiled softly. "Very well then. It's so ordered. Mr. Sinclaire, you will pay Mrs. Sinclaire's attorney and therapy fees and retain ownership of all assets. No alimony is ordered. Divorce will be granted upon the signature of both parties after thirty days."

"Thank you, Your Honor," Sandra said.

She nodded as she turned to Raymond. "Mr. Sinclaire, you should count your lucky stars. Any other woman would have taken you for all you are worth. Given the substantial amount of evidence, I would have been inclined to give it to her." She turned to me. "Mrs. Sinclaire, I hope you go on to have a prosperous life. I pray that you find healing and you continue to do the work to better yourself. I pray that you find love in yourself and the courage to allow someone else to love you too."

"Thank you, Your Honor."

She nodded. "Court is adjourned."

She banged her gavel, and we all stood to leave the room. Raymond and his lawyer walked up ahead of us. As Sandra and I stepped into the hallway, his lawyer approached us with a smug look.

"I was prepared to fight you, Ms. James," he said, extending his hand.

She looked down at it, then back up at him stoically. "Mr. Davis, you and I both know you wouldn't have had a chance if things hadn't taken a turn. As the judge said, your client should thank his lucky stars."

Raymond's head snapped around. He started toward us. Adora tried to hold him back, but he snatched away.

"Ms. James, your client was smart to withdraw her petition. Her mental health is her weakness." He glared at me and smirked. "She will always be weak."

I smiled. "You know, Raymond... I may be a lot of things. But in thirty days, I will no longer be your concern or your problem, and you will be nothing to me. That's a win in itself."

I spun on my heels and strutted away from him with a smile. I didn't regret my decision. I was stepping into a new era... a brand-new Pasha. For once in my life, I was responsible for myself, and gaining my independence felt so... damn... good.

"Cheers to my girl for being thirty days shy of being a free woman!" Avyn yelled, raising her glass.

I sat in her living room with her, Blake, and Tia, sipping wine. When I called her with the good news after court, she was so happy for me. I'd taken myself out for a predivorce celebratory lunch and eaten to my heart's content. I then did a little shopping and got my nails and feet done. I was feeling pretty good by the time I got home. I'd taken a nap only to be awakened by Avyn calling and telling me to come upstairs.

When I walked in, she and the girls greeted me with confetti cannons and a round of congratulations. There was a banner and balloons, and they even got me a cake. The topper made me laugh. It was a woman in a wedding dress holding her groom's head. Avyn commented that Raymond was lucky it was just the topper and not him.

I smiled brightly. "I really appreciate this, you guys."

Blake waved me off. "Of course, we had to celebrate with you. Sandra said you strutted out of there with your head held high. We are so proud of you, pooh."

"I'm proud of myself."

Tia clapped her hands. "We have gifts!"

"You guys!" I whined. "You didn't have to get me anything!"

Blake rolled her eyes. "We have just a few things to welcome you back to single life. We know you won't jump into a ho phase, so we got you some things to... ‘alleviate' yourself."

I didn't have to wonder what she meant by that. They all pulled gift bags from behind the couch and handed them to me. I placed my wineglass on the table and reached for them. The first bag was from Blake. Inside was a sexy black lingerie set, warming massage oil, and a black rose vibrator.

I shook my head. "Blake."

She raised a hand to hush me. "I don't want to hear it. This is self-care. By the way, setting number three is my favorite on that one."

I giggled. "I can't with you."

Tia laughed. "Just wait until you see what Avyn got you."

I rolled my eyes as Tia handed me her bag. Inside was this heavenly bottle of pheromone perfume, a sexy lace bra and panty set, and nipple clamps attached to a collar with a chain.

I held the clamps to my breast. "These are gonna hurt."

"That's the point," she said sarcastically. "Combine that with the rose, and you will have to change your sheets!"

"Y'all are some freaks."

"And we are trying to put you up on game," Avyn said, handing over her bag. "How this..." She blew a breath. "This right here is almost as good as the real thing."

I opened the bag and fell back laughing. Inside was a ten-inch dildo with a suction cup base. The thing looked so realistic, from the shade of brown to the prominent veins all the way down to the girth.

"Avyn!"

"Girl, I'm telling you! Stick that bad boy to the wall, a chair, or a table, and have the time of your life. It doesn't complain, it doesn't go soft, and it always gets the job done. Now, you combine this, the rose, and the nipple clamps, and you can really have a party. I might just be able to hear you all the way up here."

I had to laugh. "What am I gonna do with y'all? Thank you for this. They made me laugh, but I'm sure they will get some use."

Blake kissed her teeth. "They better."

Tia smirked. "They won't have to get used if she would call that fine-ass Callum."

The mention of his name made me blush, and a smile spread across my face.

"Look at her cheeks!" Blake yelled, pointing at me.

"Stop!" I pleaded.

"You know you think that man is fine, girl."

"I do. He's the reason I decided to let Raymond have everything. He told me to do what would bring me the most peace."

"So you have been talking to him?" Blake asked.

"I have. He's a good friend. He listens. He's encouraging and sweet." I smiled. "He's comforting."

"Have you told him about today?" Avyn asked.

"No. I haven't talked to him today."

My phone rang just as I said that. I pulled it from my pocket to see none other than Callum calling me.

"It's him," I said.

"Well, answer it!" Blake urged.

"And put it on speaker!" Tia added.

I shook my head. "Y'all are nosy."

"And is," Avyn boasted. "Answer the phone."

I sighed and took a deep breath. Answering the call, I placed it on speaker.

"Hello?"

His smooth, deep voice came through the speaker. "Hey, beautiful."

I blushed like I did whenever he called me that. "Hey, you."

"I just wanted to check in with you. I know you had a big day today. How did it go?"

"It went well. I let him have everything. All I asked was that he pay for my attorney fees and my therapy."

"How are you feeling about your decision?"

"Like a weight is lifted off my shoulders. In thirty days, I'll be a single woman."

"I love that for you, Pasha. I'm so proud of you, love."

"Thank you. And thank you for being a listening ear. I appreciate you."

"I wouldn't be your bestie if I didn't listen."

I giggled. "My girls won't take too kindly to you calling yourself my bestie."

"Girl, we do not care," Avyn shouted. She immediately covered her mouth. "My bad, boo."

Callum laughed. "Good evening, ladies."

"Heeeey!" they sang.

"I'm sorry. They were just throwing me a little celebratory get-together."

He chuckled. "I hope you're having fun. I didn't mean to interrupt."

I shook my head as though he could see me. "No, you're fine."

"We should have invited you," Blake said.

Avyn leaned into the phone. "Callum, you have to take a celebratory shot for my girl!"

"I can do that. Hold on."

We could hear him shuffling around and then the sound of glasses clinking. I heard him pouring something.

"We wanna see you take it," Tia said, causing my eyes to widen.

Callum chuckled. "I got you."

The phone vibrated with a video call request. The girls eagerly urged me to answer. Gathering myself, I accepted the call. When the video populated, I gasped. There he was in all his shirtless glory. His chest was smooth, and his muscles were toned and defined. Tattoos were etched into the parts of his skin I hadn't been privy to seeing. The girls leaned into the camera to get a look, and their mouths dropped. I don't think I'd ever seen any of them speechless.

Callum raised his shot glass. "Cheers to you, beautiful."

He tossed back the shot, and the slightest bit trickled down his chin to his throat.

Tia fanned herself. "That shouldn't be so erotic," she mumbled. "Whew, chile!"

"When you're officially free, you have to let me take you out to really celebrate," Callum said, wiping his chin.

"O-okay."

"I'm gonna let you go. I don't want to intrude on your fun. I just wanted to make sure you were good."

"Thank you. Good night, Callum."

"Good night, baby."

The call ended, and I finally felt like I could breathe again.

Blake slapped my shoulder. "Girl, if you don't get that man, I know something."

Tia agreed. "Right! He would only have to call me baby or beautiful one more time, and it would be a wrap."

"Look at her blushing," Avyn pointed out again. "Ooooh, I can't wait for this to come full circle. I'm putting it in the atmosphere. That's gonna be your man, and he will give and show you everything you've been missing."

They started talking over each other. I sat there, still staring at the phone. Was I ready for that? My marriage had been dead for a long time. I simply existed with Raymond for the longest time. I no longer wanted just to exist. I wanted to live. I wanted to live for my parents. I wanted to live for my son... I wanted to live for me.

I thought about Judge Parker's words. "I pray that you find love in yourself and the courage to allow someone else to love you too."

What if Callum wanted to love me at some point? What if I wanted him to love me at some point? Would I be ready for that? Would I accept it? Sabotage it? I wasn't sure about any of that.