Chapter Twenty-Five

A lice was seated at the writing table focused on the letter she was composing when Georgiana flung open the door.

“Is it suppertime?” Alice asked, head down. “I’m just finishing.”

Georgiana dropped flat on her back onto the bed, shaking uncontrollably. Alice looked up.

“Georgiana! What’s wrong? Did—did the Earl—?”

“No.” Everything else was wrong. So very wrong that she could not possibly explain. She never should have offered to help Reginald. It was an inexcusable violation of the Taverstons’ privacy. And she had acted like such a child, erupting over the Earl’s infidelity. What was it to her? What did she care if the lords of Iversley were all rakes?

“Then what is it?” Alice pressed, coming to sit beside Georgiana on the bed.

She had to give some sort of answer. Fortunately, there was one thing she could—in fact, that she had to—confess. “I—I refused Lord Taverston.”

“He finally asked you? And you refused ?” Alice stiffened, horrified. Georgiana knew everyone in London would react the same. What on earth was wrong with Lady Georgiana?

“He didn’t ask me. I preemptively told him no.” She gulped back her tears. What had she done? But what could she have done? “Mama will be so disappointed with me, but I don’t want to marry him. I can’t!”

Alice stared without comprehension. “You rejected him before he even asked?”

“It has been torture. Going through the motions.” She turned her face away, looking upward. The ceiling swam in front of her eyes. “Like a chain around my neck that kept getting heavier. Mama says I will grow to love him, but I won’t. I just won’t.”

“But you seemed to like him. You two are so pleasant to each other—”

“I tried!” She couldn’t tell Alice why marriage to Jasper was impossible. Reginald had made it clear that he would never ask for her. He wasn’t “that kind of man.” And she was furious with him for being angry with her. Did he blame her for not loving Jasper as she should? “Oh, Alice. I’ve tried. I don’t dislike him. But I can’t love him.”

“You’re certain?” Alice sounded peeved, and if Alice was peeved, Mama would be incensed. “What could you possibly have against him?”

Why must she have something against him? Why could she simply not want to spend the rest of her life with him? She flopped onto her side and, blinking away her tears, regarded her disapproving cousin.

“If you must, he is uninteresting.”

“Uninteresting?” Alice looked startled. Then she laughed with high-pitched disbelief. “Jasper Taverston? Not interesting? Who is interesting then? Can any such person exist?”

“Of course! Hazard is interesting. Crispin is interesting.” She hesitated for a moment before adding, “Reginald is interesting.”

“But you wouldn’t marry any of them!” When Georgiana did not respond, Alice’s eyes widened. “Would you?” She put her hand on Georgiana’s arm. “Would you?”

She jerked away and sat up. “None of them are asking me.”

“Georgiana!” Alice gaped. “Are you interested in Crispin ?”

“Oh, for Heaven’s sake. No.”

Why not Reginald? Was that so unfathomable? Georgiana rubbed her eyes, got control of herself, and stood. “I should never have agreed to come here. People are going to talk. They’ll say I’m a coquette, collecting suitors like trophies. But Alice, is that a reason to marry Jasper? Because people will talk if I don’t?”

“Of course not,” Alice said, getting back to her feet also, but her expression was not sympathetic. “You’re not a coquette. But honestly, Georgiana, it isn’t good of you to reject all these wonderful gentlemen out of hand. It isn’t—” She twisted her hands together. “It isn’t fair. It’s capricious. And I’m sorry. I promised myself I would not be jealous of you. That I would keep my expectations realistic. I’ll likely marry Mr. Gamby, Georgiana. Mr. Gamby! While you toss Jasper Taverston aside because he isn’t interesting enough for you.”

Georgiana found herself at a loss for words. Alice was frustrated with her own coming out, disappointed with her own suitors, and she’d had to follow Georgiana to Chaumbers and take a back seat once more. Then Georgiana rejected the perfectly fine gentleman she had come here to pursue. Of course, Alice was irritated with her.

“Oh, Alice, I’m sorry. I’ve been so callous. This should be your Season. I had my chance last year and this year, we should be focusing on you. We will. When we go back to London, we’ll plan your coming out ball and I’ll stay in the background.”

A small enough sacrifice. After this fiasco, she would rather stay out of society altogether.

“That’s not what I meant. I want to enjoy this time with you. I know you can look higher than I can. That’s simply the way things are. But I’m worried about you. And so is the Duchess. Because there is no gentleman more eligible than Jasper. If you turn him down, who is there left to accept?”

Georgiana bit her lip, then looked down at the floor. “I’m not capricious. And I don’t think that I was being unreasonable, waiting for the right man to love. Not anymore.”

“Not anymore?”

“The thing is…” she sighed. She had always shared her secrets with Alice. It was only this one she had been too fearful to share. “It’s Reginald. I’ve fallen in love with Reginald.” There. She said it aloud.

Alice looked stunned, not as though disbelieving but as though she wanted to argue. “Reginald Taverston? But, when? Georgiana, why ?”

Why? How could anyone ask that? How could anyone spend five minutes with the two brothers and not see that Reginald was the one? “Because he’s brilliant.”

This should not need explaining. Yet, she supposed Alice had not spent time alone with him. How would she know? “He’s translating a manuscript from the ancient Greek that has never been translated before! And you heard the way he reinterpreted Mr. Brindle’s incomprehensible sermon. And—”

Alice laughed as though tickled by Georgiana’s brimming enthusiasm. Still, once unleashed, her excitement brimmed over. “He studied mathematics at Cambridge. He has Principia in his collection and The Principles of Analytical Calculation, and he said he would read them with me,” Georgiana finished breathlessly.

“Be still, your heart!” Alice teased, fluttering her hand before her face. “He’s good-looking too, if you haven’t noticed.”

“Oh, please don’t make fun. You know how odd I am.” Her enthusiasm died as quickly as it had kindled. “I’ve been so unhappy. Pretending all the time. But I don’t have to pretend around Reginald. He doesn’t care that I’m odd.”

“So he feels the same?”

“No. He brushed me aside and said I belonged to Jasper.”

Alice’s face fell. “I’m afraid that is what everyone thinks. Lord Billings certainly did.” She gestured to the writing desk. “Even my father is asking when the announcement will appear.”

Georgiana groaned. “This was such a mistake. We shouldn’t have come. Or we should have left as soon as the Earl’s condition worsened.”

She would not have uncovered the Earl’s mistress and his natural son. She would not have displayed her freakish talent before the lords of Iversley, all of whom she had now insulted. And she would not have had her heart broken.

“But then you wouldn’t have met Reginald.”

“It doesn’t matter. He doesn’t want me. He apparently thinks he is betraying his brother if he does. And of course, I wouldn’t want them to fall out over me!”

Alice took her arm. “I don’t think Jasper is that thin-skinned, but I admit I don’t know him well. And maybe he is no more in love with you than you are with him. I didn’t want to say anything, but he spends a great deal of time on ‘correspondence,’ don’t you think? For a man who’s supposed to be courting the lady in front of him?” Alice paused to let that sink in. “This may sort out, given time. Why don’t we take a walk in the garden? We should compose ourselves before dinner. Your mother said it will be potluck, taken on the terrace.”

“Don’t you want to finish your letter?”

Alice smiled a little ruefully. “Not that one. I imagined things were going according to plan. I’m going to have to tear it up and start again.”

*

The garden walk was soothing. They did not discuss Georgiana’s dilemma but rather her Uncle James’ news from home. The ton was all agog over Lord Haslet’s sudden interest in Lady Andini and more so over the fact that she had apparently permitted him to call.

“Would you have welcomed his attentions?” Georgiana asked, wondering now if she had wronged Alice by steering him away.

Alice shrugged. “I suppose not. I may not be very romantic, but I am more romantic than that.”

They talked of other things until a servant approached to inform them that the Duchess was on the terrace and wished them to come up.

A few small tables had been placed close together, surrounded by chairs. Lamps had been lit strategically around the perimeter. A larger table held an assortment of hot and cold dishes from which they could serve themselves. Mama was talking with Olivia. Reginald and Jasper stood to the side, near a set of steps that led down to an orangery. They were deep in conversation and didn’t appear to notice Georgiana and Alice approaching.

Mama did. “There you are! We are supping very informally. Lieutenant Taverston and Lady Iversley are with the Earl.”

“And Adam,” Olivia said, her voice low and raspy as if she had been crying.

“Has the Earl taken another turn?” Alice asked.

Olivia nodded, then said, “Oh, I don’t know.” She looked a bit desperate. “He’s breathing very oddly, and it has been hours since he has waked even a little.”

Jasper stepped over to her and took hold of her elbow. “Come have something to eat, Livvy. Don’t make yourself sick.”

Olivia appeared ready to protest, but then she nodded and let herself be led to the buffet. Georgiana dared a peek at Reginald, but he looked grim and did not glance her way. Mama gestured for them all to start. Jasper was very solicitous, seeing Olivia seated with her plate, then beckoning for Georgiana and Alice to join her. He pulled out a chair for Georgiana and asked if he could bring her a glass of ratafia. One would never have guessed that an hour ago, she had flung a refusal in his face to a proposal he had not even made.

Mama also joined them at the table, but Reginald and Jasper did not. They put food on their plates and returned to their corner of the terrace to talk in subdued tones. Georgiana shuddered to think what they were discussing.

Alice shared the gossip about Lord Haslet, and Mama responded with a small, disinterested smile. Then Alice tried to explain to Olivia that Lord Haslet was well-known for avoiding a leg shackle.

“Oh, I know Hazard,” Olivia said, trying to hold her end of the conversation. “He has come here to hunt several times. He’s one of the kindest men I’ve ever met. If Lady Andini has any sense, she’ll grab hold of him.”

Footsteps, urgent ones, came clacking out onto the terrace, and they all turned to see Crispin’s valet, a serious, sympathetic expression on his round face.

“My lords, Lady Olivia, you should come quickly.”

*

One moment he was breathing. The next, he was not. Reginald stared long at his father, looking for a change, watching for evidence of the soul leaving for wherever it was that souls went. But all he heard was silence. All he saw was stillness.

Until his mother started to weep. Then Olivia. Jasper next. Crispin moved to the window and stared out, then his shoulders started to shake. Reginald, dry-eyed, felt broken. Memories of his childhood, of his father’s laughter, of the one ridiculous time his father had caned him, gently enough—for disobedience, downright insurrection!—of his father teaching him how to play piquet, the proper way to mount a horse, the way to shoot a gun. So many memories. How proud his father had always shown himself to be, of all of them. How Reginald had admired the man. How much he had loved his father.

He felt as though he didn’t know what was true anymore. He felt lost. He didn’t know what he was going to do.

But he knew what Mother would want. What she expected. What his father would have expected of him. So he moved to the bedside, knelt on the floor, and prayed aloud the words he would be expected to say. One by one, his sister, mother, and then his brothers joined him. Alongside them, he didn’t feel quite so broken.