16. Chapter 16

Chapter sixteen

Luci

T here is something deeply satisfying about a good spreadsheet. I've been going through these ones for hours, and I can still appreciate them. Felford was right. Katy really does keep excellent records. I haven't found a single error or problem.

Which is great, I suppose. Except it leaves me rather redundant. With Katy having everything in hand, literally everything, not just the accounts, there is nothing for me to do.

Except lie around waiting to be ripe.

And now I'm blushing. Well, at least there is no one here to see.

A heavy sigh escapes me. At least with my husband not having much need for me, I'm free to work on my sacred task. Something I keep putting aside far more than I should. Almost as if I don't want to do it.

Gods. I'm not going to think about that right now. It's too much to untangle.

I lift my reading glasses up to rub at my eyes. As much as I enjoy spreadsheets, my eyes certainly complain after a few hours. I need to do that twenty-twenty thing. Something about looking away from a screen every twenty minutes.

My gaze wanders around Katy's office. It is lovely in here. Bright, while also being cozy. Some cute nicknacks. Not a speck of dust anywhere. Even my mother would not be able to fault it.

I truly am not needed. My magic is the only thing I have to offer Felford. He didn't even want my mouth .

Shame floods me at that thought and I try to fight it. He didn't want my mouth, but he did want me to stay. For nearly the entire evening. He even put his arm around me. It was wonderful. Being pressed up against him was the happiest few hours of my life.

It had to mean something. Surely? He is being so very kind to me. I don't understand it. I embarrassed him in front of his friend. I had a long fit of hysteria, and his reaction is to be nice?

It doesn't make any sense. Unless…oh my gods, I've been so dumb. It's obvious. Why did I not think of this before? He is handling me with kid gloves precisely because he doesn't want me to have another breakdown. Shipping me off to an asylum would cause a scandal. Nevermind the expense.

Oh, my gods! That's it! It has to be. I've been such a stupid idiot to think it might be something else.

My lungs stutter. My hand rubs my chest, even though I know damn well that this pain I am feeling is not physical.

The door opens, and Katy walks in, startling me out of my brooding.

"Oh, sorry!" she says brightly. "I didn't know you were in here."

"It's okay, I was just leaving," I say as I get to my feet.

Her eyes widen. "That's a pretty dress."

My heart does a crazy skip and the room tilts. I'm not sure if I will ever get used to being seen like this. I like it. At least, I think I do. But it is still overwhelming.

"Th…thanks," I stutter pathetically. "I know with the daisies and everything, it's a summer dress, but I don't have much of a collection."

"Nonsense!" she exclaims. "Wear what you like, when you like!"

I love that philosophy. Hopefully, one day I will be brave enough to embrace it fully.

"And I'm sure Drew would be happy to take you shopping," she adds.

I blink at her. She calls my husband, Drew? Are they lovers ?

Her brows scrunch. Damn it, I thought I was keeping my face perfectly blank, but something of my shocked suspicion must be slipping through.

"Oh, while I think of it," she says. "A parcel came for you. I had George pop it in your sitting room."

"Thank you," I reply automatically. "I'll go see what it is and give you your office back."

Heart pounding, I make my escape. This unexpected parcel has pushed all thoughts of my husband carrying on with his housekeeper out of my mind. For now. Which is probably absurd. It is only a parcel.

My anxiety is probably left over from when I used to have clothes delivered to me. That was always extremely fraught. It was only luck that nobody ever chose to look in them.

But I haven't ordered anything since living here. And if I had, it's no longer a secret. There is no need for me to be feeling this impending sense of doom.

An errant fleeting thought flits through me. Katy's suggestion that Felford might take me clothes shopping is ridiculous. As is my flickering joy at the idea. It is never going to happen. So there is no point in thinking about it.

I reach my rooms and push the door open. The curtains are drawn and the winter light is too feeble to sneak around them. It's gloomy and dark in here. Painted in shadows. The parcel is lurking on my writing desk. Simple brown cardboard, yet nothing has ever looked so ominous.

I approach it uneasily. The words ‘Count Consort Felford, Lucien Colville' are scrawled on the address label. A proud smile stretches my lips. I haven't been married long, so I haven't seen my new name very many times. I like the look of it.

Then my world falls as I recognize my father's handwriting. Now I know this parcel is nothing good .

With shaking hands, I open the box. I feel for all the world like Pandora, except unlike her, I have no choice at all. This must be done. At least that alleviates my guilt a little.

The first thing that greets me as I open the cardboard flaps, is shredded brown paper. Packaging. There is no note. Not that I was expecting one.

I take a deep breath and plunge my hand in. My fingers brush against cold metal almost immediately. As if the object rose up to seek my touch. I pull it out. Bits of coiled packaging scatter everywhere.

In my hand is a dagger. A six-inch blade. A metal that gleams like silver. Gorgeous carvings of ivy and oak leaves twist along it. It is very clearly of fey origin. If the style didn't tell me that, the immense magic coiled within it would.

My gaze falls on a set of runes carved into the hilt. Shielding. The dagger's power can only be sensed once it is being held. That is definitely going to make it easier to hide.

Gingerly, I place it back in the box. For now. I'll find somewhere better in a moment.

A wave of disorientation washes over me as the endless power winks out of my ability to perceive it.

Oh my.

I don't know what to think. I feel numb. I think my mind has shut down. Which is probably for the best. I don't want to deal with this. I'd been doing an excellent job of not thinking about this at all. All my focus had been on trying to get my marriage stable.

I had assumed I'd get my honeymoon at least. Though why I thought that, I have no idea. Maybe some stupid, tragic part of me still held on to a glimmer of hope that they cared about me.

Clearly they don't.

All they care about is that I'm now tapped. My magic has been unleashed. My powers are unbound. I can now do their bidding and it seems they see no reason to delay.

It's time for me to perform my sacred task .

The only thing is, I'm pretty sure I'm going to be as bad at this as I am at being a vessel.

Heavens help us.