Chapter 18

Chapter

Eighteen

" I really like him, dear."

He was going to cherish that memory forever—the sight of his mother smiling, patting his stomach, winking at Hawk, and saying I really like him, dear .

Cosmo waved as she headed home, but he wasn't sad. She could come and go as she pleased.

He had to wonder about that, really. Why was it that she could come and go and the dragons couldn't? Were there dragons that could, and he just didn't know any? Were there fae that couldn't come, and he just didn't know any?

It wasn't like they had a lot of fae friends or anything. It just wasn't a thing. They hadn't been welcomed in polite company, sometimes…

But still.

He pondered that, because rules were important in the fae world, and he needed to know exactly what the rules were going to be for him and Hawk…

He needed to ask someone, but his mom wasn't the one to go to.

Cosmo really needed to ask his dad.

Not right now, though.

Right now was about him and Hawk and the knowledge that they were going to have a baby together.

Mom was gone, his brothers were in their respective houses, and he was alone with his mate.

Who, Cosmo thought, might just be losing his mind.

Hawk was pacing, talking to himself, and periodically looking out of the stained-glass window like he could make something out.

"You can't see out of that window. Love, what's wrong? Aren't you happy about the baby?"

It wasn't an honest question. He knew better. He could feel Hawk's nervous excitement. He thought maybe his lover just needed an excuse to talk to him.

"Happy?" Hawk blinked at him. "I'm overjoyed. I never thought I could have a child. I never thought I would have a child. I've been waiting for this moment for millennia, but now we have to decide all sorts of things. Where are we going to put the nursery? Is it going to be close enough? Should we move the bedroom? What about the stairs? There are so many stairs in this house…"

"I think we should put the nursery in the little drawing room we have here. That would be perfect for the infant stage, and then we move him downstairs—or her. I don't know yet. So don't read anything into that."

Hawk blinked. "Fine, not reading anything into that, but he's going to be amazing. Do you think that's big enough?"

Hawk couldn't be serious. "I could sleep in there. Yes, it's big enough. There's a couch ."

"Well, I just want my child to have everything."

"He'll have everything." What was Hawk going on about? This was supposed to be about snuggling and dreaming and being together. "Everything is fine. He has us. What more does he need?"

"I don't know, friends? A mate someday? To be able to go over to the dragonlands or to the Land of Summer? What will happen if he gets stuck here in this house?"

Cosmo blinked, all his excitement disappearing as if Hawk had blown out a candle.

He didn't know.

He just didn't know, and this wasn't what he wanted to start worrying about. They were supposed to be happy right now. They were supposed to be together and celebrating.

He didn't feel like celebrating anymore. "I'm going to go downstairs and make cookies, I think. Maybe we can watch a movie later. I'll be back in a few minutes."

He threw on a pair of sweatpants and a heavy sweatshirt, then padded downstairs as Hawk just stared at him like he was insane.

Cosmo sniffled, trying really hard not to simply burst into tears like an idiot.

He'd heard all these stories about how excited everyone had been when they found out that they were having babies—All of his friends from the Estes clan, the boss. Gavin, the bastard, had been over the moon even when things had been insane, when they were shifting over across the veil.

And then here he was, having a baby that he was possibly condemning to being trapped in this house forever.

Both Corbin and Cullen came running to him as soon as he hit the kitchen. "What's the matter?" they asked in unison.

"I don't think I wanna have a baby," he whispered.

"I thought you were excited?" Cullen said.

"What did Mother do?" Corbin asked.

"Nothing. Nothing, Hawk, just—What if he never gets to leave? The baby, I mean. What if he's stuck in here forever? He won't be able to find a mate; he won't be able to play with other kids; he won't be able to go outside in the sunshine. I don't want to have a baby. I hadn't even thought about that. I don't know what to do."

Both of his brothers stared at him, obviously stunned.

Then Corbin squeezed his hand. "Well, you don't know that that's gonna happen."

"Great, but I don't know that it isn't. And that's my job—to think of all these things—and I didn't.

Corbin raised a green brow. "Okay, but doesn't that mean there's nothing weird and portentous about it? I mean, we can go all over. Why can't he?"

"Because he's half Hawk's?"

"But he's also half yours." Cullen grabbed his hands. "It will be okay."

Mate? Hawk's mental voice was very careful. May I join you?

Of course. He sniffled and dried his cheeks. "Do I look okay?"

"Perfect." Cullen led him over to the sofa and wrapped up with him while Corbin got butter out, muttering about kicking Hawk's ass.

Hawk moved into the room, super quiet and shadowlike for such a big guy. He glided to a stop in front of the couch.

"I'm sorry, love," he said in a low voice. "I did not mean to upset you. There's nothing in my heart but joy." And Hawk opened up his mind and let Cosmo see the jumble of emotions there: joy, awe, love. Need.

All for him.

He melted, but he was still going to make Hawk wait for forgiveness. Just a little.

"You made me very sad, Hawk."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I was a strategist once. A dragon who had to worry about dragon slayers. I think of all of the worst-case scenarios first so I can get them out of my system." That came with a wry twist of Hawk's lips.

"Well, that sounds awful," Cullen said. "Having to worry about people coming looking for you just to kill you."

"It was never pleasant." Hawk shrugged. "Times did change, at least."

"That's a blessing, I suppose, but… what if I—what if I'm dooming our baby? What if he hates me?"

"No." Hawk took his face between those big hands. "No, that could never happen. You are going to be an amazing father, my sweet."

He held Hawk's gaze, taking a deep breath. "I love you. I want everything to be all right."

"It will be then." Hawk smiled right into his eyes. "You're magical. I love you. That's what matters."

"That's right. We're going to make this baby so happy."

"We are. You and me."

Cullen let him go so Hawk could pull him to his feet.

"We'll be back for cookies," Hawk said.

"Peanut butter and chocolate chip in a couple hours," Corbin offered.

"Thanks." He gave his brothers a watery smile. "Really."

"Of course." Cullen patted the couch. "I'll have a spot for both of you for the Lego movie."

"Perfect. Go make up. We'll see you in a few."

Hawk chuckled, lifting Cosmo into his arms. "I make many mistakes, love. Forgive me? I was alone so long."

"I love you. I will always forgive you." He circled Hawk's neck with his arms.

"Thank you." Hawk carried him to their rooms, to their bed, which was what he'd wanted to begin with, and some of the joy he'd felt began to return.

"We're having a baby."

"We are. And I am so proud I could just burst."

"Oh that would be messy. You should knot me instead," Cosmo teased.

"What a capital idea." Hawk laid him on the bed and came down on one knee beside him. Then he took a kiss that curled Cosmo's toes. "I love you. I swear to you, I will make you happy."

"You already do."

"Good." Hawk rubbed noses with him. "Now let me make you really happy."

He laughed, arching under his suddenly very unworried mate. "Sounds like the best plan ever."