25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

A much-needed conversation.

The flight back to the palace was a blur. Serlotminden did keep the speed of his racing shuttle to a minimum for Kalvoxrencol, but, despite my brother’s reasonable fear, I wanted Serlotminden to hurry. I wanted to go home so Caleb and I could go on our date before enjoying what would come after. I forced my thoughts away from Caleb, for fear that my cock would stir once again. I was desperate, body and soul, for him.

When we docked, Kalvoxrencol bid us a quick goodbye, then he and Seth headed toward the palace, fingers interlaced. Seth appeared paler than normal, and he’d been quiet on the return trip home, not that I’d noticed at the time. Though the further he and Kalvoxrencol moved from us, the more at ease he appeared. Before they vanished from sight, Seth pulled Kalvoxrencol’s hand to his mouth and planted a chaste kiss on his knuckles.

Serlotminden started to fuss about his shuttle, wiping everything down and doing his post-flight checks while he cooed at the machine like it was an infant. When I took my leave, he didn’t even look up from the open panel.

Caleb bounced along as we headed inside. The sun was setting in the distance, setting the sky ablaze in a haze of gold and orange. It wouldn’t be long before the moons started to rise and stole the heat of the day. For a single beat of my soul, the light shone through Caleb, making him appear transparent. I stilled, but it happened so quickly that I doubted what I’d seen.

“What are we doing for our date?” Caleb asked, hopping around me, never staying still.

Planning our outing hadn’t been an easy affair. Caleb couldn’t do many things. I couldn’t take him flying, he couldn’t eat, and I wasn’t prepared to go to a play or wander the city with him at my side. I wouldn’t ignore him, but nor did I want people to witness me talking to nothing but air.

I wasn’t embarrassed by my mate nor would I deny my connection to this human soul, but Caleb didn’t need to witness how people reacted to my presence, whispering and calling me names. I didn’t want him to see any of that yet. In time, he would because it was impossible to hide it forever, but for now, I would cover all of the ugly parts of my life.

“You shall see.” I led him upstairs to the royal wing before continuing upward. We climbed the stairs to the tallest spire of the palace, and when we crested the top step, Caleb exclaimed. The spire was completely forged of glass and pierced the sky. Sheer curtains fluttered in the breeze from the surrounding windows. Potted trees with white flowers were perfectly placed between the windows, lending a floral fragrance to the air. In the center was a blanket surrounded by light stones that shone in soft colors ranging from pink to green to orange.

Caleb wandered around, mouth open wide. “Were you expecting us to have sex here?”

“N-no,” I replied, brow furrowed. I hadn’t planned that at all.

“Soft lighting and a blanket? On Earth that’s a (human word) for sex.”

“ Koood ?” I asked, trying to recreate the human word. I failed abysmally.

His lips pursed. “Signal, maybe, or sign?”

“Ah. I understand,” I replied. “I planned for stargazing. I’m not opposed to having sex with you here, my Caleb, but I would like to talk first.”

“Permissions?”

“Yes, but I would also like to know more about you, and there are things about myself I would like to discuss.”

Caleb skipped around the room, hovering near the windows. He was incapable of remaining still, and I didn’t mind in the slightest. I loved watching him. Every moment drew me in.

“What do you want to know?” he asked.

“Everything.”

“That might take time,” he said.

“I have nothing but time for you.”

When Fyn said everything, he meant everything . I told him more about my parents, as well as my brothers and my cousins, and all the trouble we got into. He didn’t understand all that I said, because I didn’t know the Drakconese equivalent of cow tipping or TP-ing the neighbors’ yards on Halloween, but his focus never wavered as I skipped around the circular room. Nothing I said was enough, and I talked more than I had in years, which was saying something (like seriously, I never shut up).

Finally, I stopped hopping around and sat next to his sprawled body. Fyn stretched his arms above his head and crossed his legs at the ankle. My eyes ate him up like a fucking buffet. Damn, this man was a sexy treat.

I leaned over him, and he asked, “Why did you stop, my Caleb?”

I brushed my fingers over his cheek. “It’s your turn to talk,” I said. His expression shuttered, and I frowned, worry plucking at me. “Sunshine?”

“There are some things you need to know about drakcol.”

“Alright.”

“When I said I was going to keep you, I meant it.”

“I know,” I replied. “I meant it too.”

“You do not understand.”

“What don’t I understand?”

“First, I should explain the risk of you staying here on this plane.”

“Alright,” I said slowly.

Why did I feel like he was trying to break up with me again? Oh my god. He was breaking up with me, wasn’t he? I shifted even closer, pressing my knees into him. We’d just gotten together, and he’d already changed his mind, which, I mean, kind of made sense with me being a ghost and all, but I liked Fyn. A lot. I swallowed a scoff. It was a damn sight more than like… but we hadn’t been together that long, and it was too much too fast.

His eyes remained on the stars above us. “There haven’t been many mediums before me, but each one logged their experience. In them, they speak of the danger of a spirit lingering too long.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, laying beside him.

“They vanish.”

“Pass on?”

“No,” he said, voice tightening. “The spirit vanishes. A spiritual soul who was a medium wrote that the spirit who lingers here too long will be unable to endure, and they will rip apart.” Fyn finally looked at me, eyes glassy. “If you stay, Caleb, you might vanish.”

He wasn’t breaking up with me; he was worried about me, as usual. Fuck, he was adorable.

“I have been here for twenty-three cycles. I don’t think a few more are going to end me.”

“A few more cycles,” he repeated.

“Yes.”

“You didn’t understand what I meant.”

“I did. I do. I might vanish or be ripped apart. To be honest, I’m shocked anything came after death in the first place. I’ll take the risk. You’re worth it, Sunshine.”

“I’m not.”

“You are.” Didn’t he understand how utterly amazing he was? I would give up everything to be with Fyn. “I want to stay with you.”

“For a few cycles.”

Now, I didn’t understand. Eventually, Fyn would move on and find someone alive to spend his life with, which was fine (I guessed. I mean, I didn’t like the thought of that, but I wasn’t going to be an asshole… I wasn’t. I wasn’t ). He was alive, and I wasn’t. When that day came, I would start wandering again, trying to make my way back to Earth.

“What’s wrong, Sunshine?” I asked. “Tell me directly.”

“I said I wished to keep you. You are mine.”

Where was he going with this? I was fine with being his. I loved possessive guys. I loved the thought of being his. I was picking up what he was putting down. “And I said I’m good with it.”

“You do not understand.”

“Fuck, Zoltilvoxfyn. What is wrong?”

“You’re mine . I don’t want you for a few cycles. I want you for forever. I will never surrender you. Not ever.”

My mouth fell open. I couldn’t find a single word to say.

“Kalvoxrencol warned me you wouldn’t understand. Humans do not mate the way we do. You can take multiple long-term partners throughout your life, but drakcol take but one permanent partner. You are my mate.”

If I had a heart, it would be pounding. “You want me for forever?”

“I have since the moment I saw you, even though I didn’t understand until later. You are mine, Caleb. I will have no other, and I will never desire anyone else. Ever. So when I say you are mine, this is what I mean.”

I wished with every fiber of my soul to kiss him, but the risk was great. If I focused hard enough, I could touch him for the barest moment, though I wouldn’t feel it, but if I exhausted myself, I would vanish for a few hours to days. If I did, Fyn wouldn’t take it well, especially with the talk of my disappearing for good.

I said with all the sincerity I possessed, “I am yours, Zoltilvoxfyn. Not for now. Not for a few cycles. I’m yours forever.”

He took a sharp inhale. “Caleb.”

“That means you’re mine, right? Like I don’t have to share you or anything? I can keep you?”

“I am yours alone.”

Part of me felt guilty for being so damn happy. Fyn could certainly do better than me. He was choosing to be with me when he could have someone better, someone who would age beside him. Still, I wasn’t going to force him away. I’d been alone for a very long time, and I never wanted to be lonely again. It was more than that, though. If I didn’t have Fyn in my life, there would be no point. Wandering wasn’t a lure for me anymore. He was all I needed; he was my smile; he was my heart; he was my reason for this half-existence.

“I lo—” I broke off. I wasn’t ready to say that yet, so I said, “I will be yours for as long as I exist, Sunshine.”

I watched his throat bob, wishing to press my lips against it. His deep green eyes met mine. “And I will be yours until my last breath, and even after.”

A star exploded in my chest. For the first time since I died, I truly felt something, not a shadow, not a bare whisper so distant that I questioned it happened. No. This was real. It was… Warmth. The heat spread from my chest to my fingers to the tip of my toes, filling my entire body. I tried to cling to the awareness, but it slipped away. I let it go, not caring. I didn’t need it. I didn’t need anything besides Fyn. He was my sun.