Chapter 41

After another round of sex and we’d cleaned up, I lay against Kal, and his fingers skated over my spine. A soft thrumming filled my ear, different from a human’s but still soothing. I pressed a kiss to his chest, lips brushing his nipple, and he let out a quiet moan.

There was something perfect about lying in the darkness of his room. I don’t think I’d ever felt so secure before. I’d also never had such amazing sex. Often I felt like crap afterward. It wasn’t like that with Kal. I felt loved and safe.

My stomach growled, breaking the silence of the room.

Kal said, “I should feed you.”

“I’m fine.”

He started to shift away, and I groaned in protest. “Kal.”

“You’re not eating enough.”

I sighed, and he dragged me out of bed. Sitting next to the table, I poked the bag. “What did you bring?”

“It’s cold now, but it’s the same food from our first outing.”

I dug into the stew. The spice clung to my tongue, and I suppressed a pleased groan. Even cold, it tasted amazing. I tore off another piece of bread and dunked it into the rich curry-like substance, then held it out for Kal.

His lips enclosed around the piece, tongue licking my fingers. With the pad of his thumb, he wiped some sauce from my bottom lip. Eyes on me, he said, “Delicious.”

“Yep,” I squeaked.

Kal rubbed his forehead against mine. I hooked my arms around him, holding him tight. After a few seconds, he said, “You’re supposed to be eating.”

“You’re distracting me.”

He wiggled out of my embrace, tail winding around my wrist. Kal ate anything I offered, but otherwise, he watched me devour the food. My mouth burned, and my shrunken stomach protested, but I finished all of it.

“I’m tired,” I commented.

“We should go to bed, then.”

I didn’t respond, relaxing with my head on his shoulder. Kal nudged me. “No,” I protested. Kal kept moving and forced me to stand. He escorted me to the rooms, then hesitated. I directed him toward his room.

Flopping on the bed, I pressed into the pillow. Already, sleep began to cloud my thoughts. A blanket covered me moments before Kal settled next to me.

Kal had been working on the portrait of me almost every day since he started it, except probably when I was sick. He would occasionally tug my shirt off to look at me, but that usually devolved into us having sex, which I didn’t mind. Sex with Kal was amazing, but it was more than that. He satisfied my body, and at the same time, he made me happy.

But as the days passed, he’d become more withdrawn.

“Babe,” I said.

He didn’t react.

“Babe,” I repeated louder, and he jumped.

“Yes?”

“Is everything alright?”

“Of course.”

I nodded. “I’m going to see Urgg.”

His brow furrowed. I hadn’t left the room unaccompanied since I’d gotten sick because Kal struggled to let me out of his sight.

“Just to Urgg’s?” he asked.

I rolled my eyes. “Yes.” I pressed a kiss to his lips, and Kal hooked his arms around my waist. His claws slipped beneath the back of my shirt, playing with the skin above my waistband.

“Take your touchstone, please.”

Things between me and Kal had been better since we’d had sex, but at the same time, a new tension had appeared and I had no idea why. Maybe having sex with me hadn’t met his expectations?

When I stepped inside the bakery, I waved at Urgg, who grinned, then continued to speak with Klirgg. I took a seat in a corner and waited. A few minutes later, Urgg plopped down next to me with a plate of cookies that had a fat walnut, or at least what looked like a walnut, in the center. Cautiously, I nibbled on the edge. I’d seen some unappetizing additions to Urgg’s baked goods enough times to worry about what they added.

The cookie was crumbly, and the nut tasted more like a peanut than a walnut, but it was delicious.

Urgg shoved one into their mouth. “Eat. You’re too thin. I could break you in half.”

“No doubt.”

They grinned. “How are you and Kalvoxrencol doing?”

Heat immediately rushed to my cheeks.

“That good?” Urgg asked, guffawing and clapping my back, which sent me reeling.

“Yeah, but he’s been a bit distant since we…” I trailed off.

“Fornicated?” they offered, which made me sputter.

Who called it that?

“I told him how I felt and we did… what we did, but now he’s acting odd.”

Urgg ate another cookie, nose scrunching. “Did you tell him you’re going to stay?”

“I told him I loved him.”

“That’s not the same thing,” they said. “Just because you love him and are fucking him, that doesn’t mean you plan to stay.”

My mouth dropped open. Did Kal think I was going to leave him after all of this?

“Not everyone gets hints, Seth. Some people need the words.”

Was that what was going on? Did Kal need to hear I was going to stay with him?

I shimmied up the ladder to the cramped space I’d found in the atrium and sat against the round window. The stars gleamed in the distance. I was pretty sure Urgg was right. I hated talking, but Kal needed me to directly say I was going to stay.

My fingers brushed the touchstone in my pocket. This wasn’t something I should say at a distance but rather in person. Did I need to make a big production about it like a marriage proposal? Or should I tell him directly?

“NAID,” I called, tugging the touchstone out of my pocket.

“Yes, Seth,” she said, her voice reverberating in my ear.

“Can you manifest here?”

“I’m not sure where you are.”

“I’m in a nook.” I wasn’t exactly in the tunnels, but there was an access hatch leading into them.

“There must not be sensors in that area, which shouldn’t be possible. I will have you show where it is on a schematic and put in a service request to install sensors.”

Yay. Homework.

“What can I do for you?”

I swallowed, and my palms went slick with sweat. I had no idea why I was nervous. There was no reason for it. But my body didn’t get the memo. “Are there any sort of traditions when telling your mate you intend to reaffirm the bond?”

A long pause hung in the air before NAID burst out, “You’re staying? You’re not leaving?”

“I’m staying.”

“I’m so happy.” If she was on a display, she’d be bouncing.

“Me too.”

“I didn’t want you to leave,” she said in a quiet voice. “It wouldn’t be the same. You treat me like everyone else.”

“You are like everyone else,” I insisted. “You’re my friend. The first one I’ve had in a very long time.”

“You’re my first friend too.”

The backs of my eyes suddenly prickled with emotion. Coughing, I said, “Back to my question.”

“No,” she said, her voice still bubbly. “There’s no tradition.”

I ended the conversation with a quick goodbye, needing to think.

Part of me wanted to make a big fuss. He deserved it. Kal deserved everything. Another part of me wanted to squeak out the words and pretend staying wasn’t a big deal, even though it was. My head thumped against the window. Whatever way I chose, it probably wouldn’t matter, but I needed to do it soon.

Perhaps I should buy him a ring. A smile spread at the thought of slipping a ring onto his long finger.

My touchstone grew hot, and Kal’s voice sounded in my ear. “Seth Harris.”

“Kal.”

“Mate, are you alright?”

I’d been gone longer than expected, and predictably, Kal was worried. “I’m fine, Babe.”

“Where are you? Still with Urgg?”

“No, I’m hiding.”

The tension was practically a living thing as silence strung between us for several seconds.

“Seth,” he started carefully. Laughter tried to escape, but I swallowed it because I didn’t want to upset Kal more. “Where are you?”

“Coming home, to you.”

“I can come get you.”

“Not necessary.”

Once again, I could feel his strain through the touchstone. If I didn’t come back soon, he would rip the ship apart to find me. I easily pictured him pacing in our apartment as he struggled to keep from bounding out the door.

“I’m coming, Babe. Did you want me to get food?”

“No. Come back. Please,” he added after a breath. “You need to rest.”

I rolled my eyes. “Fine.”

The second I entered our apartment, I spied Kal sitting in front of the easel. The painting he was doing of me in red was on the easel, but it hadn’t progressed since I’d left. The portrait was flattering with my wide smile, round face, tousled hair, and plump frame.

Arms going around him, I kissed his neck. “I’m sorry I upset you, but I was perfectly safe.”

“I’m being ridiculous, but I worry.”

“I know. Believe me, I know.”

He hauled me onto his lap. Kal rubbed his nose against mine, and he took a deep breath before burying his face against my neck.

“I love you,” I whispered, stroking his long hair.

Kal bit my neck, then licked the same spot. “I love you too, my Husband.”

Tightening my hold on him, I asked, “Will you nap with me?”

“As long as you truly want to sleep.”

“Spoilsport.”

He didn’t bother to respond, though he probably hadn’t understood anyway. Kal stood, keeping me in his arms, and steered me toward his room.