Chapter 33

I sat on the couch, fighting the urge to cover myself. My heart was still pounding from the way Kal had gently undressed me. I wanted Kal. My dick throbbed uncomfortably, reminding me it had been years since I’d had sex. I’d jerked off several times since I’d been abducted, picturing Kal. But actual sex with Kal would be beyond satisfying, and it was something I desperately craved.

“I’ve always been a troublemaker,” Kal said, startling me. He wouldn’t look at me, and from personal experience, I’d found it easier to talk about difficult things when I didn’t have to look at anyone. “But one incident was the start of my infamy.

“Zoltilvoxfyn, my older brother by three cycles, had trouble growing up. He has a rare inner fire ability. He can see souls.”

“Soul types?”

“No, he can see the spirits of those who’ve died.”

My mouth fell open. “Ghosts?”

“It’s exceedingly rare. Less than a hundred in recorded history. People thought he was lying, and he was too young when his gift manifested to know to keep it a secret,” Kal said as his fingers, dotted in red, moved in graceful strokes.

“When I was five and Zoltilvoxfyn was eight, a lord’s son began to make fun of him, calling him a liar. Zoltilvoxfyn has always been sensitive, and he is prone, even then, to bouts of deep moroseness where he questions his worth and his brain actively fights against him.”

“He has depression.”

“I don’t know that word, but perhaps it’s the same. It’s a chemical imbalance in his brain. He gets help, but it’s not a cure,” Kal said. “Back to the point, when he cried, something broke in me. My inner fire manifested, and I ended up burning down several buildings. No one was hurt, but that’s when people realized what my gift was—light. The same gift as the first drakcol empress of legends.”

I opened my mouth to comment on how cool that was, but he continued before I could. “It was assumed I would become the next ruler of the Drakcol Empire. I thought so too. My father began to prepare me for that eventual role. When I was ten, I was tested for my soul type, and the Crystal deemed me a creator soul.”

“And you were upset,” I surmised.

“Very. It didn’t help that later that same day Hallonnixmin was declared the next ruler. It was a claw to the gut,” Kal said, movements turning jerky. “Because I was a creator soul, I was no longer worthy of ruling. That’s not true, but it’s how I felt. I went wild.”

My eyebrows came together. “You were ten.”

“From what research I’ve done on your species, we mature faster physically and neurologically. Also, my planet’s rotation is slower than yours. At fifteen, we are fully grown and enter our first phase of adulthood, which correlates to you being about twenty-five. So me at ten would equate to you when you were sixteen or so.”

“What did you do?”

“Everything. I stole space shuttles from my parents. I got into fights. Issued unnecessary challenges. Theft. Public intoxication. The list is extensive. All of the issues were cleaned up and hidden as much as possible by my parents and older brothers.”

“Typical teenage rebellion.” I didn’t get why he was so upset.

“I suppose, but I am a prince, an example to my people, or I should’ve been.”

I hadn’t thought about that.

“It was a mark against my and my parents’ honor,” Kal continued, lips flattening. “Each one showed how unworthy I was of my position as prince, my gift of light, and the throne, though that had already been decided. After one incident where me and my significant other at the time started a bar brawl, which ended with several people in a medical facility, my father and mother entrusted me to Talvax, and I was enlisted in the military. My parents thought it would help.”

“Did it?” I asked, truly curious. Some parents on Earth sent their kids to military school for much the same reasons.

“Yes and no,” he answered, glancing at me. “I couldn’t bond with my fellow soldiers, because I wasn’t the same as them. They saw my every advancement as preferential treatment, and they ignored all the grunt work I was assigned. I made no friends beyond Talvax. The isolation was trying on me. My brothers tried to reach out, but I rebuffed them time and time again, ashamed.”

My heart clenched. I wanted to get up and wrap my arms around him, but I didn’t know if Kal wanted comfort right now or to get out everything he needed to tell me.

“They’re so much better than I was. None of them have struggled to find their places or had so many marks against them. Being in the military was difficult for me, and the longer my enlistment went on, the worse I got. After the colony on Takzil’s moon was fully established, I did something stupid.”

When Kal stopped talking, silently painting, I asked, “What?”

“I stole a shuttle while intoxicated,” he said, swallowing several times as he clenched the paintbrush, “and crashed it into a docking ring of a fully populated space station.”

“What?” I shifted to the edge of the couch, about to bolt to his side.

Kal scoffed, shaking his head. “I stole it for a prank on my older brother. It was Serlotminden’s racing shuttle. I lost control and crashed. It was an act of grace no one, including myself, died. Several people were hurt, though. Some severe.” Kal’s hand fell to his thigh, splattering his pants with red paint.

“What happened?”

“My second brother, Dontilvynsan, came. I expected him to yell at me. I deserved it. I was so ready for it, priming myself for a fight. It never came. He hugged me so tight, shaking, and asked me over and over again if I was alright. He was happy I hadn’t killed myself in my idiocy.”

Kal’s jaw clenched as he began painting again. “I have never been so ashamed because he didn’t even care about what I’d done. All he cared about was that I was alive and whole.

“When we arrived home, my father didn’t even say anything, but his and my mother’s looks of disapproval were enough. I had to stand before the entire Cohort and answer for my actions while my family watched. In the end, I was sent to my country house, and my family cleaned up my mistake again.

“It was a dark time for me, but it was what I needed.” Kal looked directly at me, his eyes bleak. “For the first time, I examined my life and actions. I could’ve killed someone or myself. After a while, when I refused to speak to anyone, Hallonnixmin came with all four of my brothers and Monqilcolnen. They refused to let me be. They’d been chasing me my whole life, and I finally let them catch me.

“In the end, Hallonnixmin mentioned the Crystal, and it was like a light shone in the darkness. It had been my childhood dream. Before all the craziness, before I wanted to become emperor, before the Crystal had marked me, before my inner fire had manifested, before everything, I wanted my soulmate.

“I cleaned up my actions. I fought to have access to the Crystal because I wanted you. I needed you, but I didn’t deserve you.”

I got to my feet. “Why do you think that?”

He gripped the paintbrush so hard it shook. “I got a couple of my previous partners in trouble. My parents fixed my mess, but they paid the price with incarceration and fines. My brothers have constantly had to shrug off ridicule for my indiscretions while simultaneously cleaning them up. All because I hated who I was. I hated this,” he said, gesturing to the painting. “Such a ridiculous thing.”

Unable to help it, I settled him against my chest. His paint-splattered hands clutched my bare skin.

“You were hurt. You acted out.”

“It’s more than that.”

It probably was. He’d been told he would be one thing, and it turned out he wasn’t. “I am thankful you are you and not the future emperor.”

Kal smiled.

“I’m glad you shared your past with me.”

He swallowed.

“It doesn’t change how I see you.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” I said before kissing him. His claws scraped over my skin, making me shiver and groan against his lips.

“Thank you,” he whispered. Before I had a chance to respond, Kal captured my mouth.