Chapter 10

I squatted in front of Seth, rubbing his back. I had no idea what was wrong. We’d been getting along, but when I moved closer, he started breathing oddly and turned very pale. Maybe my wings had upset him, though he’d readily touched them.

Seth had asked me not to move, and I wouldn’t.

After a bit, Seth sat up, expression drawn and eyes heavy like he was exhausted. Carefully, I moved to touch him, but he jerked back.

Permissions.

We hadn’t had the conversation, but I’d been testing the limits, which wasn’t right. I wanted to touch him, to be with him, and so the conversation needed to be had, but it never seemed to be the right time.

I swiped his cheek with my tail, and Seth smiled. That was acceptable. My tail didn’t upset him, which was nice, but I wanted to fold him into my arms. I wanted to trail my lips over his soft skin and kiss away the strain.

“What’s wrong? What did I do?” I asked.

“Nothing.”

“That’s a lie. I did something.”

He released a long breath. “I have (untranslated word). Social. General. Everything is new, and I’m on edge. Normally, it’s not this bad.”

I didn’t know what that word meant, though NAID had supplied nerves, worry, and fear, but I didn’t want to interrupt him when he was opening up.

“My brain is in panic mode. Everything is important and possibly threatening. I can’t calm down. Logic doesn’t matter. It’s all too much. I felt… trapped.”

This I understood. It seemed similar to one of the brain chemistry disorders that affected drakcol. “What can I do to help?”

“Take me home.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Figures.”

Another word I didn”t quite understand. I understood it, but not the context. I had no idea what his fine figure had to do with this conversation. Pushing past it, I asked, “Anything else?”

“Let me be when I have a panic attack. Maybe sit next to me?”

“I can do that. Do you need anything else from me?”

His voice dropped to a whisper. “Please don’t yell at me when I have one. It doesn’t help.”

I nudged his chin up with my tail. “I would never do that.”

Red rushed to his cheeks again, making me lean closer. Seth’s breathing turned shallow and he scooted back.

“Can you tell me exactly what upsets you, so I can stop doing it?” I asked. His expression turned blank. “My Seth?” Did I do something wrong again?

Asking about my triggers wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it made me think of my first girlfriend.

I’d been fifteen, my anxiety at its worst. She used to set me off on purpose, and when I had a panic attack, she would mock me, saying anxiety wasn’t real. Something my grandparents had agreed with. Ever since her, I didn’t tell people my triggers because I’d lived through them being used as weapons against me.

I was already at a disadvantage with Kal, and I couldn’t give him any more power over me.

“I can’t think of anything,” I lied.

“If you do, please tell me.”

I was exhausted. I hadn’t had this many panic attacks since I’d lived with my grandparents. Being abducted was not great for anxiety, who would’ve thought?

“I have a gift for you,” Kal said suddenly.

“What?”

He smiled, but it was a small one. I liked his wide one that showed off his white teeth better. Kal held out a round blue stone with a pulsing paler blue light in the center. I took the rock from him, my fingers brushing his. His scales were so smooth, and I wanted to linger in his touch.

“What is it?” I asked, flipping the stone over.

“A touchstone.”

“A what?”

With a chuckle that did uncomfortable things to me, he explained, “You can speak to me, NAID, or anyone on the ship with it. Hold it and say the name of who you want to speak with. Their stone will grow warm, and they will pick it up and respond. You can also scan it at shops and pay for things from my account.”

Holding it, I said, “Kal.”

He chuckled again. “You have to say my full name.”

“Kalvoxrencol.” The stone vibrated against my palm.

He drew his own stone out. “Seth.”

I heard his voice right in front of me but also directly in my ear, which sent a shiver down my spine. I rubbed my ear to get rid of the prickles.

“No one but you will hear the other side of the conversation. If you need me, I will come for you.”

My stomach swooped.

“You must be in range, though. The whole ship is fine, but when we dock, the touchstone might not work as well. It depends on how the planet’s technology interfaces with ours. This way, when you want to explore the ship, I can help you if you need me.”

Part of me, unfortunately, swooned at his protectiveness. No one, since my mother or my childhood friend Vince, had tried to protect me. Someone shielding me, protecting me, caring about me was something I’d desired for a long time. Another part bristled. I was an adult. I didn’t need help. In fact, if he hadn’t kidnapped me, I would’ve been perfectly fine.

I stood, moving out of his touch.

“Did I say something wrong?”

Anger bubbled for a minute before numbness started at the top of my head and swept down to the tip of my toes. “I’m going to sleep.”

I didn’t wait for a response. Fully dressed, I flopped onto the bed, out before I could even process it.

My hand curled around the touchstone in my hoodie pocket. The stone throbbed in my palm, waiting. A couple of days had passed since Kal had given it to me, and I wanted to explore the ship. Well, a part of me did. Mainly, I wanted to curl into a ball and never move, but I couldn’t do that for the next year, so I ventured out.

When I reached the elevator, I said, “NAID, seventh floor, please.”

“Of course, Seth.”

When the doors opened, loud noises and overwhelming smells swarmed me. So many different voices spoke foreign words that NAID didn’t or couldn’t translate for me.

Drakcol mixed with other species I’d never seen. I saw a bright green person with a reptilian appearance. Another alien was tall, well over seven feet, and reed thin with light fur covering their body and six arms as well as a dozen eyes.

Shops were on either side and sold everything from clothes to food. I even saw a shop selling bugs, but they were the size of cats, and a drakcol child was playing with one that resembled a shiny beetle.

After a few minutes of exploring, I sat in a secluded corner to watch the crowd. I didn’t see anyone like me, which wasn’t surprising, because I was the sole human.

It was oddly lonely.

I’d been alone most of my life, but now, I was truly alone. One of a kind. I didn’t miss anyone on Earth. I had no friends left, and my only family was my grandparents, my mother’s parents—I had no desire to see or speak to them. But all of a sudden, I desperately wanted to see my own planet and people, even if none of them meant anything to me.

“Seth Harris.” Tim-something, Kal’s mentor, stood before me, arms crossed and tail twitching. “Have you abandoned Prince Kalvoxrencol?”

“N-no. Why would you think that?”

He sank down next to me, and I shifted as far away as the bench would allow. Tim-something remarked, “You are here without him.”

“So we can never be apart?” Never being alone again would not work for me. I needed time by myself to recharge.

“Certainly not, but you’re newly mated.”

“Not by choice.”

“True enough,” he said, deeply dipping his head. “How are you finding your bonding?”

“Overwhelming,” I answered before I had the chance to censor myself. I peeked at him, tensing in preparation for his response.

Tim-something merely said, “Understandable. This is all new. You should take an oravirven. They can help.”

I frowned at the odd word before remembering it was the mentor thing. “NAID offered that to me as well.” Tim-something didn’t speak as we both sat in silence, with nothing but muttering conversations and the occasional shouts to break it up. After a moment, I asked, “What if I choose to leave?”

“You know you can’t at the moment, correct?”

“I meant after. Kal said I could reject this bond, and he would take me back to Earth.”

His mouth fell open, tail whipping. “He allows you to call him Kal?”

“He told me to call him whatever I want. You didn’t answer my question.”

“Well,” he said, lifting his palms, “that is your choice. When we arrive at Tamkolvanloknol and if you choose not to continue this relationship, Prince Kalvoxrencol will take you home. It is his responsibility.”

This time, I caught the long name, though I could not have repeated it if my life depended on it. Apparently, drakcol didn’t name anything by halves. “So he’ll actually take me back?”

“It would be a mark against his honor if he didn’t, and one of his siblings would be honor-bound to complete the journey. Kalvoxrencol will not abandon you, I promise. He is very honorable.”

I didn’t challenge his assessment, though I did not have the same faith in Kal. “What happens to him?”

“Concerned?”

“Curious.”

“Your choice shouldn’t be affected by what will happen to Prince Kalvoxrencol. You must decide what is best for you and you alone.”

“You didn’t answer the question.” I didn’t know why this was so important to me, but it was.

“He will continue on in his life, but it won’t be the same,” he replied, his voice careful.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re his soulmate. Kalvoxrencol feels that connection with you, even if you don’t. That will never go away. No matter how much time passes or the distance that separates you from him. Drakcol mate for life. This was the risk he accepted when he appealed to the Crystal. He will never be with anyone else.”

“If I abandon him, Kal won’t recover?”

“Yes and no. He will miss you and long for you, but he will most likely move on one day, as all things do. Some drakcol don’t recover, though, and some do. There is no way to know how Prince Kalvoxrencol will react until it happens. This,” he said with a wave of his hand that came close to my face, making me flinch, “is why you need an oravirven. They will help you and talk you through this process, Seth. You have to make the best decision for yourself, regardless of Kalvoxrencol and what will happen to him.”

I’d been a people pleaser my whole life and abandoning someone wasn’t an easy thought for me, but nor was staying with someone because of guilt.