10. Nerves

CHAPTER 10

Max

"How are you feeling?"

Moss spooned me in bed, xyr arm draped over my waist. The sun was already rising again and I was realizing that our heat bliss was coming to an end.

"Good," I said softly. I cleared my throat, fighting back tears that sprang up out of nowhere.

Moss nuzzled me, pressing a kiss to my shoulder. I'd gotten enough sleep to make it through the rest of the day. But part of me wished I would have skipped the sleep and done more with Moss.

The pinwheel, the drugged flogger, the restraints, hours of sex. My body was satiated, exhausted, and yet it still yearned for more. More than that, it was the time spent with Moss.

I didn't want it to end.

"I need to get dressed," I sighed. "Are you working today, too?"

"I am. I have to check on the whole situation. Hopefully things have been resolved."

"I hope so," I said.

Silence settled between us but it was full of so much unsaid. Finally, I let out a long breath and turned over, cupping Moss' face.

"I don't want it to end. The heat was unlike anything I've ever experienced."

Moss pressed a gentle kiss to my lips and smiled. "I don't want it to either. But, I'm thankful for the time we had together. And I'm glad my initial grumpiness didn't scare you off."

I couldn't help but laugh. I leaned back, sighing as I splayed over the bed.

Moss sat up with a groan. "We have to get going. I'll drop you off at rehearsal, okay?"

I smiled. "Okay."

After two mind-blowing days full of sex with Moss, returning to the "real world" felt like a dream. After exploring all of the toys in Moss's closet, I'd learned that I loved pain a lot more than I'd believed before. And that I liked edging, even if it was a special sort of torture that drove me crazy.

But if it was coming from Moss? I was okay with going a little crazy.

We'd eaten breakfast together this morning and then xe had returned me to my hotel room, which was still a mess. The smug looks I'd gotten on my way back to the hotel room had me rolling my eyes. The entire troupe and crew knew where I'd been.

After Moss left for work, I'd made my way back down to the rehearsal space.

Now, I was standing in my dressing room, trying not to think about Moss. Trying not to think about how not only did I want to date xem…

I wanted more.

It was easy to envision a life with Moss, but that easiness ended once I started thinking about logistics. I was a burlesque dancer. I traveled the universe.

And Moss? Moss lived here.

It wouldn't be fair to ask xem to change xyr entire life for me, right?

Not being near xem made my skin itch. I was having a hard time not thinking about everything, which was why I'd been staring at my costumes for the last fifteen minutes.

Rehearsal was in about twenty minutes and my body felt nice and relaxed, despite the constant churn of uneasy thoughts.

I went over the costumes again, looking for any visual flaws or things I needed to mend. There was nothing wrong with any of them, but I couldn't choose which one to wear for tonight's show. I couldn't decide what performance I wanted to do. I could stick to my first one, but I was daring and wanted to go outside of the box.

But maybe Madam Moonie would tell me to hold back some.

"Damn it," I sighed.

All I could do was think about how crazy the heat had been. The connection between us had been so strong, strong enough that we could hear each other's thoughts. How wild was that? I was still in awe of everything.

I hadn't wanted it to end. Leaving this morning was far more difficult than I'd expected.

Our lighting team was still upset about the equipment issues, but Madam Moonie managed to soothe everyone for the most part, and I was certain Moss would handle everything.

I felt bad for not being an assistant at times. It was hard knowing she was juggling everything alone. Every time I tried to help, she swatted me away. I had to remind myself that she'd managed the Galactic Gems just fine before me.

And that I was a star now.

I scowled at the costumes. What the hell was I going to wear tonight? And why was it so hard to choose?

Which would Moss like most?

I heard a knock at the door and glanced up, not surprised to see Stella there. Her braids were wrapped up in dark purple silk and she wore a flowing black robe with a bodysuit beneath it. She always looked flawless.

She crossed her arms, giving me a look.

All I could do was sigh. "Don't look at me like that."

Stella snorted. "Oh god. Should I even ask? How's it going?"

She had that knowing smirk, the nosy one.

I raised a brow, trying not to laugh at her. She was clearly fishing about Moss. "Do you want to hear everything?" I teased.

"Maybe not, but I'm surprised xe's not hanging around with you right now. I mean, you've only been gone for two days and in the meantime, Zin and Toras kindly filled me in on Arborian ‘heat' habits."

I blushed hard and didn't feel a lick of shame about it.

"You could have taken off longer, you know. Madam Moonie would have understood. I've heard that heats usually last longer than a couple days."

"I can't do that," I mumbled.

She was right though. Part of me wasn't convinced the heat was completely over, especially since I couldn't think about anything else but Moss.

Being with Moss, fucking Moss, kissing Moss, being used by Moss.

Moss, Moss, Moss.

What in the hell is wrong with me?

I cleared my throat. "Besides, this is my first planet. My first time as a performer. I can't skip out on any shows. That would look bad."

"We would all understand. Especially given how sexy xe is."

I snorted, but she was right. Moss was sexy.

I wished that xe was here right now. It would only be a few hours before I saw xem again, which wasn't long even if it felt—very dramatically—like a million years from now.

We'd see each other again, right?

"I'm going crazy," I mumbled to myself.

That thought lingered with me. Xe told me xe'd contact me soon, and then left, and I realized that I hadn't given xem a way to. Although xe knew where I worked and was staying and…

"Hello? Earth to Max?" Stella teased. "You're thinking really hard about a lot, huh?"

"Xe had some things with work," I said finally. "I think there might have been some trouble with one of the employees when it comes to our equipment refund."

"Oh," she said with a frown. "Well, hopefully everything gets worked out. The equipment damages were not terrible, but still pretty extensive considering we didn't even go that far from point A to point B. But really, I think it was more that the person blew up at Madam Moonie. And she was calm, but the way he treated her was ridiculous. I don't know why, but he seems to hate humans."

Ugh. Great. If that were the case, some things would make sense. "Moss agrees. And yeah, I'm not going to worry. I'm sure it'll all be fine and I'll see xem again and this was more than just some wild and deeply fulfilling two night stand."

"Whoa," Stella said, coming into the room. "Aw, Max. It'll be okay. I'm certain Moss feels the same way about you. How could xe not?"

I gave her a helpless look as she stopped next to me. "I really like xem," I whispered. "I mean, the sex was mind blowing. Amazing. But beyond that, I feel…"

"Empty without xem."

"Yeah," I sighed.

Stella pressed her lips together. "Did you mate with xem?"

"No," I said. "No, we didn't. Unless we did and I don't know."

"Oh, you'd know," she laughed. "So ask xem out?"

I gave her a withering look but she only snickered at me. Highlighter glimmered on her cheekbones, only adding to the sparkle of mischief she wore so well.

"Come on. Seriously? Just ask to see xem again. Make it happen."

"Maybe I like being seduced and asked out," I mumbled.

She rolled her eyes. "Well, at the very least, make sure xe has a front row ticket to see you shake your ass."

She had a point.

"Fuck me," I sighed. "I didn't even get xyr contact."

"Well… good thing Madam has it?"

"You bitch," I said dramatically.

"And Madam may have given it to me in case someone needs it."

"Stella," I hissed.

"You can thank me later," she teased as she handed me a piece of paper. "Such an old fashioned way, too. So, talk to me about your costumes. What are you wearing tonight? The same one as opening night?"

"Doing something different tonight," I said as I snatched the paper away. "Thoughts?"

I looked up at her. I always forgot how tall Stella was until we were standing next to each other. She put her hands on her hips, letting out a soft hum.

"Well," she said. "All of these are good options, but I think it would be fun if you wore a mask, especially…Okay hear me out."

I raised a brow.

"It's a little provocative…"

"We're burlesque dancers," I hissed. "Come on."

"Okay, but the mask over your privates. It has a beak."

We both stared at the jeweled mask that had a long, bird-like nose.

"Only that, though. Pasties, a mask, and a jockstrap."

"You mean going down to only a jeweled butt plug is too much?"

She burst out laughing. "I mean, I'm sure your lover would enjoy it."

Once again, I was blushing hard. The thought alone of xem watching me perform made me feel a whole new level of anxiety and excitement.

"What are you doing tonight?" I asked. "Solar Strip?"

"No, I'm changing it up to one of the others. I usually rotate through my main three and occasionally will come up with something new but…if it works, it works. You'll find the ones that work for you and then it'll be easy. Rehearsals are more for tech purposes at this point."

I breathed out, already running through everything in my head. "I think I have an idea for what I'm going to do."

"Try it out," she said. "Might as well, right?"

"You're a bad influence, you know."

She stuck her tongue out. "I'm the best and you know it. See you on stage, Maximalist."

She left me alone in the dressing room and I snorted. I rolled my shoulders, thinking over everything she'd said.

And the idea for the show…

I could run it. Might as well, right? Maybe rehearsal would get Moss off my mind for just a little bit.

Maybe.