Chapter 19

NINETEEN

Sabella

When I come home from class, I leave my coat and bag on the stand, kick off my sneakers, and go to the kitchen to switch on the kettle. It's a typical wet winter's day with a constant drizzle, and I forgot my umbrella this morning. The long run from my lecture building to the parking lot left me soaked. The cold has penetrated my bones.

Grateful for the underfloor heating, I pull off my wet socks and take a clean sweater and yoga pants straight from the dryer. The comfortable clothes warm my cold skin instantly. I can do with a shower, but I first want a cup of tea to melt the icy coldness inside me. Having a snack isn't a bad idea either. I'm so hungry I'm shaking. My afternoon lecture ran late, and I didn't have time for lunch. All I ate since breakfast was a cereal bar.

After dumping my soggy garments in the washing machine, I grab a clean towel from the laundry cupboard to dry the worst of the wetness from my hair.

I'm in the midst of shaking drops all over the floor when the doorbell rings. I freeze. I'm not expecting anyone. Colin is the only person who visits me at home, and he's at a student meeting this afternoon.

Even though I haven't seen Angelo since that day on the beach, my stomach tightens as I pad barefoot to the wall panel. The face staring at the camera doesn't belong to the man of my nightmares. It belongs to my half-sister.

I hesitate. Mattie and Mom still want nothing to do with Daisy and Laura, not that either of them tried to make contact with us after the funeral. Why is she here? Loyalty to my family and guilt about the fact that she's family too war in my chest. Finally, my curiosity wins.

The tenseness doesn't ease from my muscles as I deactivate the alarm and push the button to open the security gate. Schooling my features, I go to the entrance and unlock the door. Daisy's wide smile greets me when I open it. She's wearing a red silk blouse and black leather pants under a raincoat. Drops of water drips from the umbrella in her hand.

"Hi," she says, shaking out her blond hair. "Can I come in?" She squints at the gray sky. "It's rather wet out here."

I step aside for her to enter. She leaves the umbrella in the stand next to the door and walks to the lounge while I lock up. I take a deep breath before following.

"How did you find me?" I ask. "My address isn't listed."

"Student records."

"Those are confidential."

"I know someone who owed me a favor. Anyway, for the right price, you can buy any information these days." Wandering through the room, she looks around. "Nice place." She stops in front of the sliding doors. "Prime beachfront position. It must cost a pretty penny."

I cross my arms. "You didn't come here to discuss my cost of living."

She turns and cocks a shoulder. "I was just wondering who's paying for it." Studying me with piercing attention, she says, "Your brother, I suppose. He took over the business after all."

Keeping my annoyance in check, I ask, "Is there a purpose to this visit?"

"I'm just saying it must be nice to have a brother who looks out for you."

"You can afford a place three times this size."

"With my inheritance money, you mean." Her lips tilt. "I suppose I could, but I don't need a place of my own. The mansion in Hout Bay is more than big enough for Mommy and me."

"I'm sure it is."

She saunters to the center of the room. "Of all his children, he talked the most about you, you know."

My heart squeezes.

Picking up a silver statue of an elephant from the coffee table, she studies it. "He loved you very much."

Miraculously, I manage to keep my voice even. "I know."

She looks at me, her wise little smile saying she's not falling for my faked confidence. "Of course, he loved Ryan and Matilde too." She adds with a wistful air, "He did always tell me I was his favorite. I thought that was sweet."

Something twists inside me. I can't help the jealousy that blackens my heart or the betrayal that drives the blade deeper.

"Our time together was always special," she continues. "We were very close."

My tone is flat. "I'm happy for you. If there's nothing else you wanted to tell me, I have to study."

"He was a great man." She puts the elephant back in its place. "Daddy will always be my idol. He was an example in every way."

She doesn't know about his clandestine business or how he truly died. He kept that part of his life from them too. In a way, I envy her. Ignorance can be bliss. Still, I'll always choose truth over illusion, and for this, I pity her.

"He said you loved the sea and swimming." She traces a finger over the back of the sofa as she strolls to the fire pit. "Is that still so?"

I clench my jaw, hating that he discussed me with her when I know nothing about her.

When I don't reply, she stops to look at me. "You must have questions for me. I sure have a lot for you."

I do have questions, plenty of them, but the only person who can answer them is dead. I doubt she understands how that feels, how living with not knowing eats a hole into your soul. I want to know why Mom wasn't enough. I want to know if he felt guilty every time he lied to me or if it simply didn't bother him. I want to know how many people he killed and if he ever thought about the families they left behind. I want to know when he decided to smuggle arms and why. What swayed him? Was it the money? The power? Was the wealth he already accumulated not enough? The petty part of me wants to know if he really loved Laura and Daisy more. And I want to know if he'd do it again if given another chance. But I'll never know, will I? That's the hardest part—accepting to live with all those unanswered questions.

"Well?" she says, raising her hands. "Here am I. So, ask me."

"What do you really want, Daisy? Why did you truly come here? To rub my face in the affection my dad had for you? Or in the money he left you? In the fact that he was more honest with you than with me? If you came here to find out which one of us was better off, I can assure you it was you."

"I didn't mean to hurt you." She pouts. "I just want to get to know you better. There were so many things I always wondered about, and now I can finally get some answers."

I don't believe her. She's not here for a bonding session. "You got your answers. Now please go."

Not waiting to see if she's following, I walk to the door and open it.

A moment later, she appears in the entrance. Her stylish rain boots squeak on the floor as she goes to the stand and takes her umbrella. She steps over the threshold and opens the umbrella.

Turning in the doorframe, she says, "I learned a lot about business from Daddy. I should've been given a place in the company. You know what it's like to be a woman. When it comes to business, we're always shunned as if we don't matter. If you could be a go-between for me and your brother, I?—"

Ah. So this is the reason for the surprise visit. "Ryan will never give you a position in the company."

The muscles around her eyes tighten. "I could fight for it."

"Trust me, you don't want to. You got your share. If you learned so much about business, why don't you start your own company?"

"Mommy said that's how you all would be, that you'd never let me take my rightful place."

I don't know what game she's playing, but I don't like it. "Let's be honest for a moment. We owe you nothing. The only person who did was my dad, and he made sure to leave you financially comfortable. We don't have anything more to say to each other."

"It's a pity that's the way you're looking at it. We could've been friends."

If there's one thing I do know, it's that she's not my friend.

"Goodbye, Daisy," I say, shutting the door in her face.

Exhaling a long, shaky breath, I turn the lock and lean on the wood.

I may choose not to have contact with Daisy or her mother, but I'll never be free from my past.

The message that pings on my phone proves that point with impeccable timing. The sound I selected for the alert tells me that the message came through on the phone Angelo gave me. Taking the phone from my bag, I consider not reading the text, but I can't help seeing the words that show on the lock screen.

No sorry for my loss this time?

The phone shakes in my hand. What is wrong with him? Does he get off on terrorizing me?

Another text comes through. Thought so.

What does he want me to say?

And another. I suppose you're celebrating. Champagne? Your favorite, right? I remember from your party at the casino.

Blood rushes to my cheeks while my stomach bottoms out. Reminding me of my weakness makes my face burn with shame. It's that very weakness that compelled me to go on birth control last week. Even as I popped the first pill into my mouth, I told myself sex with Angelo would never happen again. How easily my body ruled my mind in a moment of passion scared me. That's why I'm taking that little pill every day at the same time without fail.

My phone pings with another message.

You must be happy.

I can't do this.

After switching off the phone, I chuck it on the kitchen counter. My other phone rings immediately, making me jump, but it's the ringtone I use for Colin. I all but run for it, snatching it out of my bag.

"Hey," Colin says. "Our meeting was cancelled. Too much rain. Some streets are flooded. Do you want to grab a bite to eat?"

"Yes," I say too quickly. "That will be nice."

"Are you all right?"

"It's just…" I blow out a sigh. "Angelo's father died. The funeral was today. He sent me a text message."

"Why?" he asks, anger creeping into his voice.

"I don't know. I think he likes to make me suffer."

"That motherfucker. When will you listen to me, Bella? You need to cut that asshole out of your life."

"Can we not talk about it?" I sink down on a chair. "Please?"

"You sound tired."

"It's been a tough day."

"How about I get pizza, and we eat at your place? We can study a little if you're up for it after dinner."

"Actually, that sounds kind of amazing." I wipe a hand over my brow. "I really appreciate it, Colin."

I can hear the smile in his voice when he says, "That's what friends are for. I'll be over at six. Do you have wine?"

"Ryan left some bottles from the bulk he bought at a wine farm."

"Open one so long," he says before hanging up.

I glance at the darkening sky through the windows. Roch is no longer around. I remember what Angelo told him when he pushed me out of the boat. I deserved that push. I overreacted, not having been myself on that awful day. Angelo didn't have to pull Roch off the job. It was a severe act, but I'm not complaining about the fact that he's gone. However, I'm under no illusion that Angelo replaced him. There's someone else watching now, someone I don't know.

Jumping into action, I rush to the wall panel and push on the button to lower the shutters.