Chapter 34

THIRTY-FOUR

Sabella

Istill can't believe they're here.

"May I please hold him?" I ask Mattie.

"Of course."

She places the baby swaddled in blankets in my arms.

I can't look at his face and not cry. Benjamin Jnr. looks too much like Dad. It could've been my baby I held in my arms, Angelo's and mine, and I'll never know who he would've looked like.

"It's hurting her too much," Mom says to no one in particular, sniffing away her tears.

I can't tear my gaze away from the sweet little face in my arms. "I'm fine." I bury my nose in his hair and inhale his sweet baby scent. "He's so perfect."

"I know," Mattie says with a sweet smile.

Mom sits down on the edge of the bed and cups my hand. "Your turn will come." She wants to say more but chokes up.

I stiffen. I'm not ready for their consolations and comfort. I don't want to talk about it yet. Like Angelo kept his pain private, I want to keep mine private too. Maybe one day, I'll be able to talk about it. But today isn't that day.

"How about you, Brad?" I ask. "Tell me about your new school."

After his initial shyness, he's warming up to me again. A dribble of drool runs down his chin as he grins.

Doris brushes down her skirt. "There's no point in standing here and counting teeth. I better go see if I can make myself useful. There's a lot of mouths to feed."

I smile. "It's good to see you. I'm glad you came."

"Wouldn't miss it for the world," she says, blinking away tears before hurrying to the door.

"I'm glad you could all make it," I say. "I really mean that."

"Are you kidding?" Mom says. "You almost died. You could've been dead. I still have to pinch myself to be sure you're truly here, right in front of my eyes."

I wrap my fingers around hers and give a squeeze. "I'm very much alive." But other people died. Too many. Glancing at Brad who's blowing air through his lips and making truck noises, I ask carefully, "Did you hear about Daisy and Laura?"

Ryan wipes fresh blood away from under his nose. "Angelo brought me up to speed when I called about changing some of the travel arrangements."

"You better go wash up," Celeste says, making big eyes in Brad's direction.

I point at the door. "The bathroom is through there."

"What happened to them is very tragic," Mattie says. "I can't believe she was willing to get you killed for the sake of money and business."

"Let's not talk about that in front of the kids," I say.

"You're right." Mattie's expression is sad when she takes in my face. "I should wash your hair before dinner. I'll be gentle. It'll make you feel better."

"There's nothing wrong with her hair," Mom says.

"I can do your make-up," Celeste offers.

"Thanks, but there's no point. A ton of foundation can't hide all these bruises."

Mom pats my hand. "They'll fade."

"You don't need the make-up," Mattie says. "You're beautiful without it. I was always jealous of that." She nudges Jared. "Isn't she?"

"She's looked better," Jared says. When everyone stares pointedly at him, he adds hastily, "But you're still pretty."

A knock falls on the door. Heidi opens it and gives us an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but dinner is almost ready. I set the table in the dining room. Sabella, would you like to eat downstairs?"

A chorus of, "No," comes from my family.

"She must stay in bed," Mom says.

Heidi studies me. "As long as you won't get lonely."

The walk downstairs actually weakened me a lot more than I expected. A headache is building at the back of my head. I'm happy to see my family, but to be honest, I'm tired. I just want to rest for a while.

I look between the people surrounding the bed. "You must be exhausted after the long journey. Why don't you freshen up before dinner? We can catch up again later."

Mom jumps to her feet. "Yes, we tired you too much." She takes Brad's hand and helps him off the bed. "We should let you rest."

They retreat like one man to the door.

"I'm fine," I say. "Really."

"We'll come say goodnight after dinner." Mom pauses on the threshold. "I was thinking, there's a lot of space in the lounge. I should ship your piano over."

I lean back against the pillows. "That sounds like a plan."

She nods before leaving with a straight back and determined steps like a woman on a mission.

Ryan returns with a clean face from the bathroom, but bruises are already forming under his eyes. Angelo must've broken his nose. It doesn't look too skew. Although, it's difficult to say with it swollen so badly. Splatters of blood stain the front of his shirt.

"I better go change," he says with a strained smile. "I'll catch you later, Bella."

He's barely closed the door when it opens again. I expect it to be Heidi, but it's the doctor who came from the village to examine me. After taking my vitals and checking my injuries, he tells me I'm fine but warns me to keep still and not to upset myself.

When he leaves, I'm surprised when Angelo enters with a tray that holds two steaming plates, which he deposits on the nightstand.

"Aren't you having dinner with the others?" I ask, studying him closely. Having my family here is as difficult for him as it is for them to accept his hospitality.

He hands me a plate of pasta with homemade pesto sauce and sautéed cherry tomatoes before taking a seat. "I'm not going to let you eat alone."

A bruise darkens his cheekbone. The one on his jaw is worse, but his stubble hides most of it. I motion at his face. "That's going to be black tomorrow."

His mouth lifts in the corner. "Your brother looks worse."

Resisting the urge to roll my eyes, I say, "Ryan is just protective because I'm his little sister. He's always been like that."

His eyes cloud over. "That's something I can both understand and respect."

Not wanting him to think of his late sister and be sad, I drop the subject. "The kids haven't said hello yet."

"I wanted to give you time with your family first."

"I appreciate that, but you mustn't feel you should keep them away. They're my family too."

He blows out a sigh. "Sophie's gotten it into her head that since Brad and Ben Jnr. are here, you don't need her any longer."

"What? Oh, poor Sophie. I'll talk to her."

He drags a hand through his hair, messing it up. "When my grandfather died, his goats wandered onto a neighboring farm. I told Toma to pay the owner a month's grazing fee, but my cousin never did. The old guy came here to ask for his money while I was upstairs with you. Sophie was there when Heidi opened the door. She overheard him talking about the death of her parents, which he saw on the news. He asked if Heidi knew how they died. When Sophie flew into a rage, accusing him of lying, he told her to ask me herself." Leaning forward, he steeples his fingers. "That wasn't how I intended for her to find out."

"Oh no. I'm so sorry. Did you try to explain?"

"She wouldn't give me a chance." He meets my gaze. "She's locked herself in her room and refused to come out for dinner."

"What about the boys?"

"I took them aside and told them. I didn't want them to find out from Sophie."

Laying a hand on his arm, I ask, "How are they taking it?"

"More or less apathetic. I don't think they were close. Guillaume asked if they're in heaven."

"What did you say?"

"That I hoped so. étienne asked if we had to go back to the valley for another funeral. He didn't seem to look forward to the prospect. Johan took the news rather stoically. I told Heidi to give them an early supper. I couldn't let them sit through dinner in the dining room after telling them their parents are dead."

My heart aches for them. "Did they ask how they died?"

"Only Johan. I wasn't going to tell him, but I couldn't bring myself to lie to him. I promised myself I wouldn't betray their trust. So I took him into my study and told him that they were shot and that the bullet shells matched the old man's shotgun."

"Poor Johan. Is he all right?"

"He didn't say much, but he didn't seem surprised." His gaze darkens. "He's been no stranger to violence."

"I'm sorry you had to do that alone."

"It couldn't be helped." He cups my hand where it rests on his forearm. "I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to tell Sophie myself."

"Maybe she'll talk to me."

His smile is soft. "You need to rest and get better."

"This may come as a shock to you, but I can do that and speak to Sophie."

A playful light sparks in his eyes. "Now don't get wise with me."

His strong frame fills the chair, making it look small. Underneath the shirt that's unbuttoned to the third buttonhole, his chiseled chest is visible. The dark ink on his skin is an accurate picture of what lurks beneath the surface. Like the two-headed wolf, he carries his duality inside him. He's a beautiful god and an invincible demon. Yet, this powerful man needs me. He needs me to navigate this new life we both chose freely, and he's not afraid of showing me.

Using one of his favorite lines, I say, "Your food is getting cold. You better eat. I'll speak to Sophie later."

Flashing me a grateful smile, he takes my hand and presses a kiss on my knuckles. "I don't deserve you."

"But you're working on that," I remind him. "And you're not doing too badly so far."

When he leans closer, the familiar fragrance of citrus and cedar washes over me. His male scent envelopes me, giving me an unexpected sense of belonging.

Not that I belong to him, but that he belongs to me.

Because despite the marks of ownership he put on my body, he's always been mine.

Right from the start.

I may not have realized it as clearly as I do now because Angelo's possessive masculinity can be so overbearing that it dominates every other sentiment. But in this moment, I know it with startling clarity just as I know he'll always be mine. No matter what happens, Angelo will never let me go. He'll never leave me or look twice at another woman. He'll stand by my side like he vowed to do from the onset. He's not the kind of man who breaks his promises. I know it with a certainty that comes from my heart.

And when he presses his lips in the gentlest of kisses against mine, I feel safe and protected. For the first time since my life was turned upside down by all the secrets and lies that Dad's death uncovered, I feel that I belong.