6. Katya

I’ll just wander away, catch a bus or something to a new town and start over. Send Dad an anonymous letter about Yuri – he’d believe anonymous more than me.

Freedom and a new start and a clear conscience.

I saved up about $2,000 from rent and books – I can make it to a new city and get a motel room and a crappy job then go to a new college somewhere far away.

My first quiz today in Psych 101 is the perfect time to escape. Not that I can’t crush this quiz – I know my shit. But who knows when I may get another chance like this? Yuri and Tasha’s guards are down, I have a little bit of money, and I can get the tuition refund sent to me. That would make my new life a little more comfortable for me.

I grab a coffee with Tasha before the quiz. It’s barely off-campus, only technically. But close enough to the real world and the street and the bus line for this to be the perfect place to escape.

I just must be smart.

Part of me doesn’t believe Yuri is really going to let me leave the apartment without his watchful eye on me every second. But I gave him my syllabus the night before, with the quiz date, and it looks good. He can’t deny me that – that’s the putative reason I’m here.

Tasha sits at a corner table, and I join her.

I think she sees the anxiety in my face but luckily misreads it. “You shouldn’t worry too much about this quiz.”

“I’m a little worried. Haven’t had a big day in a long time. Lots to do.”

She smiles, and says, “Quizzes still make me nervous. That’s the fun part,” Tasha says with a dazzling smile. “I love that feeling.”

“Being anxious and nervous? How can you love that feeling? It’s the worst.”

She shrugs. “It’s a challenge getting yourself under control. And a skill you need to learn if you want to survive with Yuri.”

I quirk my eyebrows, “I don’t want to survive with Yuri. I want Yuri to get the hell out of my life.”

She laughs politely, but her face quickly smooths, getting herself under control. “That may not be your choice – and I’m not sure why you’d want that anyway. But we can talk about that later, none of it will help you focus on your test today. If you’re struggling in there, get up, walk out, head to the bathroom and wash your face in cold water, you'll feel like a million bucks. That’s what I did during the bar exam, a two-day, 6-hours-each-day test. Months of studying, 3 years of my life in law school wasted if I fail, job offer revoked, et cetera. Lots of pressure, but cold water on the face while you hold your breath is that mammalian dive reflex/ response, it calms you immediately, it’s science/ evolution. Your body jumps into survival mode, heart I tell myself as I rise from my chair and head to the bathroom in the back. I glance back at Tasha, and she isn’t even looking at me. I skip past the bathrooms and into a kitchen door and slide out a side door without anyone stopping me.

That was so fucking easy I really can’t believe it.

My heart flutters like a bird in a cage during my walk from the back of the coffee shop to the off-campus streets.

I think about Petya, the danger Yuri says is out there waiting for me – the reason for his and Tasha’s protection around me. But how would he even know where the hell I am right now? And once I get on that bus, nobody will know where the hell I am. Probably not even me. Anyway, Petya is the lesser of two evils right now. If Yuri was even telling me the truth about him, which is a BIG if .

Tasha has gone looking for me by now and is sounding the alarm of my escape to Yuri by now, so I need to be fast. Smart and fast.

I see a guy who could be Petya, sitting on a bench at the bus stop. The sunglasses he’s wearing are aviators, covering much of his face, but the cruel mouth from the photo is there. His dead, almost inhuman eyes are hidden from me.

I don’t worry myself about him too much, bus stations are full of sketchy people and I’m not going to get freaked out by everybody I see. I sling my backpack over my shoulder and creep toward the bus station. Still, Yuri was right in that I have nothing to lose in believing him, even if he was lying. If it was the truth, then I could avoid something terrible by believing him. A sort of Pascal’s wager to believe in Yuri.

I decide to wait out sketchy sunglasses guy.

I count to 100 and the guy on bench doesn't move.

I can almost hear the anger in his every breath, every rustle of his newspaper, every time his eyes dart to me underneath those dark sunglasses.

I’m just imagining all this.

I hope it’s all in my head.

But if it’s not, I can probably slip through the front door before he catches up. If I run. Now.

But if I fail …

If he catches me …

Failure is not an option, I tell myself.

In any case, I can’t stay here and waste more time, Yuri is bound to catch up to me, too.

Only a few more steps until I’m past him, inside, and then in a crowd and soon safely on the bus.

I run like my feet are on fire.

I reach the other side of the street, and the guy on my left stumbles, knocking my shoulder, which swings my backpack, balanced on one shoulder, down, and I’m off balance, spinning, either hit the ground or trip over the curb as I circle. I’m falling. “Fuck!”

Hands grab my upper arms and haul me to my feet. I immediately started to step back to thank the helpful stranger but he doesn’t let me go. What the hell?

I jerk back harder. “Thanks. I got it.”

“Do you Katya?” He was smiling at me; his sunglasses were gone. He had laughing eyes that go with sudden cruelty.

I freeze. The face from Yuri’s picture, the one attached to all those terrible things. All those things were now immediately believable seeing his face, hearing his unsteady, high-pitched voice. It’s unsettling. He’s unsettling. His blue eyes twinkle at me, filled with dark amusement, like I’m his toy and he’ll play rough with me. No words come. I open my mouth, but a strange wheezing sound emerges. He shifts his grip to my wrists and starts pulling me down the block.

“Let go!”

“I’m just taking what I’m owed. Your father owes me a lot , Katya.” A chill rushes up my spine, turning my whole-body cold.

Fuck , I knew it.

I was payment for a debt.

Step by step, despite my best efforts, we started down the street in the opposite direction of the bus station.

“Petya?” I say, grabbing the backpack strap on my shoulder. “I don’t know about any debt, none of that is my problem. Work it out with Viktor. You’d better let me go before my bodyguards see you.”

“You gave her the slip at the coffee shop, remember? So we could be alone?”

He’s been drinking— or doing drugs, I’m not sure but something was off. His pupils were huge.

“No, I – “

“Shut up.” He said it flat and cold, and stood looking at me with totally blank eyes. All the mean comedy was gone from his face now. He said, “I take very bad to frustration. I break my toys. You ought to be warned.”

He looked at me and his expression suddenly became mean, though he still smiled. He said, “Don’t flutter those big eyes at me. You want me to poke them out? I don’t need you to be able to see, you know. Just so you can hear and talk, that’s all I need from you.”

I had no doubt he would and could make good on that threat. I must move , I thought, I must do what he says. I took one step forward, and the second was easier, and I walked with him.

“I’m sorry you have me a little frightened –”

“Nothing to be frightened of,” he said, but he used a voice full of laughter and meanness again. “Unless you fight me, then you’ll see my bad side. My worst side.”

I looked at his hand clasping my wrist as we walked, it was stubby-fingered and thick, the backs of the fingers covered with burns and scratches as though he’d been doing carpentry work without gloves. The nails were wide, stubby, and dirty. The hand looked strong, humorless, and mean.

I can’t go with him. I know what happens if we go somewhere private. He’ll take what I owe him. He’ll play with his new toy, roughly. Was he going to kill me? No, he needs me. But it could be worse than death. I can’t think about his worst side right now. I can’t think about anything. I dig in my heels, but he’s stronger than me.

Petya’s hands grind the bones of my wrist together.

Now or never, I say to myself, wrenching my hand from his grip and turning to run. But the curb is in my way, I trip over it again, the strap of my backpack is caught in Petya’s vice grip hand, I stumble back Petya catches me in his arms.

He wastes no time, dragging me into a nearby alley by my backpack. I thrash around a little, trying to wiggle free of the shoulder strap, and when I do, he grabs me by my hair instead. I scream from the pain and add a “Let go of me!” and a “You can’t do this!”

He yanks me up by the hair to face him, “Fucking watch me,” he screams back in my face, his putrid breath closing my eyes and mouth.

Then he tosses me.

I don’t hit the ground, not before I hit the dumpster, its sharp edge in the center of my back, knocking the wind out of my lungs and probably breaking a rib.

I don’t even have time to cry in pain before Petya is standing above me, his eyes black gobs without mercy or any shed of humanity.

I just lie there, accepting my fate. This man will kill me now— or worse.

Suddenly, there’s a crash behind us, I can’t turn my head to see, I can only hope …

“Don’t you fucking touch her,” His voice is low with rage, I can’t see him, but I know it’s Yuri and I’m so happy to hear his voice.

“Who the hell are you?” Petya demands. A moment later, I hear the shocking crack of a fist making impact with bone. Petya’s body goes flying to the ground.

Yuri comes straight to me. “It’s OK,” he says. I tried to turn, to see him, but I can’t move. All I can hear is his voice, low and soothing. The kind of voice you can trust. “I’ve got you now.”

His touch is gentle as he shrugs off his jacket and wraps it around me.

There’s a groan from the ground as Petya is crawling to his knees, “Do you have any idea who I am?”

Yuri doesn’t even look over. All his focus is directed at me. His eyes are dark and filled with compassion. “We’re leaving now,” he tells me softly. “You’re safe.”

I give a shaky nod, as Yuri lifts me effortlessly in his arms, and strides away from the alley and the street without looking back. I bury my face against his chest.

I hear Petya chuckle, then yell at us, “You won’t always have friends with you, little Kat. See you soon.”

“I’ll shut him up in a minute, first we’ll make sure you’re okay.”

Okay? I am so far from okay; I don’t know where to begin.

My body finally understands the threat has passed, and I start shaking and can’t seem to stop. That was close. Too close. Not even one of these strangers on the street cared that I was being abducted in broad daylight. They took out their phones and pretended to read a text.

He won’t stop. He will keep coming for me. Until he collects what he’s owed.

Yuri pulls me into a hug before he sets me in the backseat of his SUV. Part of me wants to fight him, but he’s big and strong and smells really good. For a moment, I can almost fool myself into thinking I’m safe.

I’m not, though. I’ll never be safe again.