1. CAMILA

Chapter one

CAMILA

I smooth down my dress, staring at the periwinkle color that my mother fell in love with years ago before she passed away. Our house is doused in the simple purplish gray but I've grown to love it. The top scrunches around my chest and bows out just above my hips hiding the rolls I'm subconscious of. Unfortunately, it only accentuates the fact that I look like an Omega—chubby cheeks and baby fat I've never lost. The problem? I'm very much a Beta.

Nerves have me on edge driving from my father's house to my brother's, unsure if they truly want me to ride to the fair with them or if it was just a nice gesture. After all, Ethan has a pack of his own and I'm just his older, unmarried, unbonded sister who still lives at home. Swallowing down my anxiety, I raise my hand to knock on the door when it swings open.

"Mila!" Ethan screeches as I catch a face full of Omega. I wrap my arms around my younger brother, giggling at the way he snuggles into my chest. He's always been cuddly, even before finding his pack and I used to enjoy the movie nights in his makeshift nest in the basement before he moved out a year ago. Ethan is the kind of Omega that just has so much fucking love to give that people can't help but smile in his presence. Add in the fact that he smells like summer—no distinct sweet flavor—just summer itself and it is hard to be anything other than carefree around him.

I tighten my embrace before his Alpha, Zana extracts me from my brother to give me a hug of her own. "Almost thought you weren't coming, Mila," she purrs into my hair, followed by a soft kiss. I lean into her chest, drinking in the warmth provided by my brother's pack. Ethan takes to hanging off my side, pressing his cheek to my arm as he rambles a thousand words a minute about his day, his weekend, and his newest favorite contraption—the expensive espresso machine sitting on the counter.

Zana helps me inside, chuckling as Ethan bounds over to the unopened box, pointing at the numerous bells and whistles he's excited to try out. I smooth down my dress again, a little worried that I've interrupted something when Zana just shakes her head. "We're very happy that you decided to drive over to the fair with us rather than your father. The stuffy old man kind of dulls your shine, sweetie."

I open my mouth to say that my father isn't a ‘stuffy old man' but that's unfortunately a perfect description of him. Pastor, avid churchgoer, and a stickler for rules within the house. I'm happy that Ethan found his pack just after he graduated college last year so that he doesn't have to deal with any more of our father's bullshit. The curfews. The blind dates. The etiquette classes. Sunday services and the numerous sermons my father would dole out on the daily when we did something he didn't like .

Our father despises that Ethan found his forever outside of the church and with two mates rather than an Alpha that he picked out. I wouldn't trade Zana and Reid for the world, though. They're a precious addition to the family and fill the hole in my heart that comes with the absence of mates of my own.

My attention falls back on Ethan who is now unpacking the metal contraption even though we're supposed to be leaving in five minutes. "Zana, have you been giving my brother coffee?"

"No, that's all Reid. Apparently, Ethan's started obsessing over things we enjoy. He picked up sewing a few months ago because my tailor was on vacation. He bought all the supplies himself and he apparently has a knack for it." She turns around slowly, holding out her arms to show off a pantsuit that looks eerily similar to the ones she always wears. Correction, this one is a pale rose, brighter than her usual. It is, however, beautifully done, hugging her fit curves and accentuating the gold flecks in her hazel eyes. When our eyes meet, I see that she's enjoying being catered to by her Omega. That it's a gift to be loved so completely. "Reid made a comment about shitty coffee a week or two ago and now we've worked through a few espresso machines. Ethan has to have the right one."

I thought I knew my brother but he continues to surprise me with his little quirks. I can't wait till I have someone I can love with my entire being, where it doesn't feel like a chore but a desire. A craving. A small smile creeps onto my face as Ethan grunts, trying to fit pieces together while a slightly annoyed Reid, their Beta, stomps into the kitchen to help. Ethan pauses when Reid wraps his arms around the Omega and then kisses his neck.

"We don't need coffee before we leave, Tan." Reid's nickname sounds like ‘Tahn', Ethan wriggling in his Beta's grip. "Let's get you changed so we don't miss anything at the fair. How about that?" Ethan makes no move to answer, still gripping a piece of the machine in each hand. "Hello, Mila." He drags Ethan from the kitchen without looking over at us but I caught the smirk on his lips. Zana lets Ethan get away with murder. Reid, however, enjoys wrangling him into submission.

I plop onto one of the barstools, admiring their house. Zana's job as a lawyer pays well and she can afford to live the lavish life she's given herself and her pack. The white marbled floor and counters brighten this space and the living room is filled with creams and a hint of orange, courtesy of Ethan. That anxiety starts to creep back in as I drop my gaze to my lap and begin picking at my fingers.

"Mila, talk to me. How are you?"

"Great," I mumble. God, that was very convincing.

"You smell like a pack of lies," Zana says as she sits beside me and drags my stool closer until our knees are touching. "Try again." This woman has been trying to build my confidence since she met me. She's a saint for doing so but it's not her job. If I just had the courage to tell my father that I was done with his rules, everything would be fine but angering him terrifies me more than marrying an Alpha he chooses.

I blow out a deep breath and then meet her gaze. "It's an unnecessary power for an Alpha to know when I'm lying. I'm fine. Dad's fine. Teo's fine. Church is fine." A whole bunch of bullshit if I would just be honest with myself. I'm far from fine. My father is ruining any bit of happiness I have left in my life. An art degree might bring me joy but I won't need it when I get married—according to my father. And Teo? That on-again, off-again boyfriend that I can't seem to shake because my heart is too broken to try new things will be the death of me.

But it's fine.

Mostly.

Not really .

Zana groans as she leans back, looking down the hallway Reid and Ethan disappeared down. "Too many fines, Mila. Reid! Get over here and talk your sister-in-law into spilling the beans. You can kiss our Omega later!" Silence meets her demand and then Reid comes sauntering down the hallway, a sloppy grin on his face. He absolutely was devouring my brother even though we should be leaving. He looks smug as shit about it too.

Reid already knows about everything, though. He's my best friend aside from two Betas at church and Ethan. He's also the only one who truly understands what it's like to be a Beta. The forgotten one. The discarded one. Some packs only ever take in Betas to ensure that the Omega is well-cared for. And before Reid met Ethan and Zana, he was on the sidelines just like I was. He doesn't understand all my feelings but he's so much easier to talk to about my pitiful outlook on life.

The Beta rounds the counter and pulls me into a hug, drowning me in his woodsy scent that fits so perfectly with this pack. "You look better. You were pretty shot last weekend." I weather a groan, wishing Reid hadn't mentioned that. Zana has been pretty vocal about what she thinks about my father, even going so far as threatening to extract me from beneath his claws.

I have to remind her time and time again that my father isn't the devil. He's just… misinformed about a few things.

Her gaze narrows at the two of us. "Wait, Reid, did you go to the Sunday service?"

"Of course. Solidarity for our sister, Mila. Had to." Reid tags along occasionally, mostly to be a nuisance but it gives me something to focus on other than the sermons that drone on about nonsense. I'm not even sure many of the words that come from my father's mouth are from the Bible anymore. And when the other pastors speak? Snore .

Zana doesn't understand my need to continue going. For as long as I am still at my father's house, unmated and unmarried, he demands that I follow his rules. Sunday services and the occasional picnics require my attendance. Working at an art gallery in the heart of the city doesn't pay enough for an apartment and while Zana has offered space in her home, I can't impose like that. I love my brother. He's my heart and soul but I refuse to listen when he's getting fucked within an inch of his life.

Reid pulls away, searching my expression. I know he's waiting for me to nod so that he can bring up the real reason my anxiety is at an all-time high. The gesture is barely there before Reid turns to his Alpha. "Mila fought with Teo again."

"Why haven't you two broken up yet?"

My body sags on the stool as I let out a pitiful sigh. "We're not even dating, Zana, but Dad assures me that he's the perfect Alpha for me to bow my head to." I grit my teeth, hating the way my father explained my role within a pack, that all I needed to do was smile, keep my head down, and be a good girl.

Fuck all of that.

It doesn't really hurt when my father demeans my position within a pack. However, for whatever reason, when Teo does it? A man I used to think I was in love with? It picks at old wounds, reminding me why I broke up with him in the first place. I try to see the good in that Alpha—for my father's sake—but after three months, I'm failing to see any real redeeming qualities that I would be able to suffer through for a lifetime.

Deciding to give them both the real truth, I swallow nervously and then puff out my chest. "The fights are always the same and I wouldn't call them fights. Disagreements? We don't see eye to eye on what we want in a pack. He wants someone cuddly to come home to, to smother him in love and affection with dinner ready on the table. He wants to fuck an Omega raw during their heat and protect his person wholeheartedly. I…" I pause. This isn't something I've ever admitted aloud, Reid and Zana leaning forward, waiting for it. "I don't want any of that."

Reid raises an eyebrow, confused while Zana just runs her tongue along her upper lip, trying and failing to hide a smile. "Explain, Mila, because I have about a thousand ideas of what you mean but I want to hear it from you."

I thank the stars that I have no problem talking about my private issues with these three, sharing the most intimate parts of myself with those I consider family. "I don't want cuddly. Don't get me wrong—I love my brother but I would go crazy with an Omega like that. I need…"

"An edge," Reid offers. "I would have never guessed that you and Teo didn't work because he was too vanilla. Does he only know how to do missionary?"

I choke on a laugh, officially done with this conversation. Reid isn't far off, though. The craziest sex I've ever had with Teo was against a wall but only because a bed wasn't available and he promised not to drop me. Spoiler, he fucking dropped me. I didn't even come but faked a very good moan that had him smiling as if he had done something. Just another reason to stop trying with him, regardless of what my father wants.

Jumping off the stool, I head to the door before adding one last piece. I'm feeling a little spiteful after Zana and Reid have bolstered my confidence. Being around them makes me feel safe and beautiful in my own skin. "Teo might have also mentioned that I should try being a little more submissive since I look like an Omega. "

The Alpha stands, shaking her head. "Every time you visit, you give me one more reason to confront that Alpha. Just say the word, Mila."

I wave her off before exiting the residence. Zana would make Teo shit his pants. Teo might look like a linebacker but all those muscles don't do anything useful. They're for show but Zana? Her anger is silent, calculating, and then at the last moment, it explodes. Everyone within reach is susceptible to experiencing Zana and it's not pretty.

The three are bumbling outside seconds later, Ethan taking my hand and dragging me to the car. "Zana promised me my weight in sugar."

"Seriously? Zana, do you ever tell him no?"

She laughs. "No, that's what Reid is for. Besides, this fair is the only fun thing to do in Ansdale. You can paint the cherry blossoms after Teo decides to act like an ass."

We pile into the car and I situate my bag on the floor, a small sketchpad, my phone, and a few other items stuffed inside. Ethan scoots in beside me, Zana in the driver's seat, and Reid beside her. It isn't even five minutes down the road when I catch Ethan snatching something from my purse, his eyes growing wider by the second.

" Mila ," he drawls. His scent thickens in the car and I roll down a window before snatching the paper back. I'm not fast enough to put it away before Reid takes it and all hope of surviving this car ride flies out the window.

Several seconds of silence filter between us before Reid turns to face me, dark blue eyes piercing through me. "Mila, did you print out a fucking sex checklist? Some of the things on here are… fuck, I wouldn't even try some of these things."

"It's just a stupid dare, okay? Don't worry about it." I hold my hand out, my cheeks on fire with embarrassment. Reid stares at it for another few seconds before giving it back and I stuff it into my purse. I hold my purse in my lap and then look out the window, not wanting to discuss the paper they just found.

Violet and I were joking around at work, my best friend talking about all of the things she tried and experienced before. When I stared at her like a deer in headlights, she jokingly printed out this list and told me to experiment a little. I've researched most of the items, many of them making me a little worried for those who have tried them. However, I was intrigued so I kept it.

And now my brother's pack knows about it.

Kill me now.

Well, after I get some cotton candy.