Chapter 9

NINE

CASSIE HAD NO IDEA how long she sat on the ground, snuggled into Donovan’s arms, crying like she hadn’t cried since she’d moved home. When she sat up, he pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to her.

When she thought she could speak without falling apart, she said, “You asked me why I didn’t speak up about what happened here. Now you know. I’d rather deal with bullying and intimidation and stress and drama a million times than be responsible for anyone’s death. I know what I can handle. And I can’t handle that. Not again.”

She stared into the blue Carolina sky and took a deep breath. “There has to be a balance, but I haven’t found it yet. I have to be able to stand up for myself. And I can see how, in this case, I should have spoken up sooner. But it’s going to take me a while to figure out where my personal boundary lines are.”

Donovan tilted his head and gave her a nod that said he understood. “I have faith in you. You’ll figure out what you need. And you’ll be okay. And I want you to know how much I appreciate you sharing this piece of yourself with me. It hurts to know it, but I don’t think I ever could have truly known you without it.”

“I’m afraid knowing me isn’t all that big of a prize.”

“We’ll have to agree to disagree there.”

“There’s still more we need to discuss. I have questions.”

“I’d be happy to answer them.”

Donovan got to his feet, then extended a hand to her and she gladly took it. Her rear end was cold and stiff from sitting on the ground, but her heart felt lighter. She still needed to talk to Donovan about their relationship and why he’d ended it. But for now, she had to get back to her kitchen.

CASSIE RETURNED to her car at ten o’clock. The security guard patrolling the parking area gave her a small salute.

She wanted to believe that increased security would make a difference. But she couldn’t shake the suspicion that the destruction of the kitchen had been an inside job. Either someone had figured out how to avoid the security at The Haven or someone who understood the security at The Haven had helped. She had no idea which was more problematic.

She slid into the driver’s seat and rested her head on the steering wheel. She’d had days where she’d put in more hours, but she wasn’t sure if she’d ever put in a longer day. Every part of her hurt. Her head, her heart, her body.

She started the engine and put her high beams on, then began making her way through the winding roads that sang to a place in her soul that had been parched and miserable in big cities.

She came around a curve and slammed on the brakes, barely avoiding the deer lying in the middle of the road.

The Jeep shuddered to a stop and adrenaline coursed through her system as her heart slowly returned to a normal rhythm. She slid her foot from the brake and gently pressed the accelerator, taking her time as she was forced to move into the opposite lane to skirt around the carcass. She used voice commands to call Donovan.

“Cassie? Everything okay?”

“Yeah. Sorry to bother you with this, but there’s a deer in the middle of the road. Two miles toward town past The Haven gates.”

“Did you hit it?”

“No, but I almost ran over it. It probably would have bashed up my Jeep.”

“Where are you now?”

“On my way home.”

“But in relation to the deer?”

“Oh, half a mile?”

“Are you going straight home?”

“That was the plan.”

“Okay. I know we have more we need to discuss, but I’ve been thinking, Cass. I think we should talk tomorrow. Or maybe Monday.”

Cassie squeezed the steering wheel so hard that her fingernails pressed into her palms. “Seriously? You want to wait?”

“You have to be exhausted. Right now I think the priority should be for you to get the sleep you need.”

“Fine. We’ll talk next week.”

She disconnected the call. “Next week?” She spoke into the empty air around her. “He wants to talk next week?” She’d been so sure that he was sorry about what had happened between them. So sure he wanted to talk about them.

But a few minutes earlier she’d been desperate for sleep. So why was she upset now?

She slammed her hand on the steering wheel. When would she learn? When would she speak up? When would she stop letting people push her around?

186 DONOVAN STARED at his phone.

What had just happened? Aside from the situation with the deer, Cassie sounded mad. Why would she be mad? He was trying to look out for her.

Or , a small voice whispered, maybe you’re trying to do what you think is best for her without giving her an opportunity to decide for herself. And maybe she doesn’t like that.

He called the fire station nearest The Haven and gave them a heads-up about the deer. Most of the time when a driver hit a deer in the mountains, they would call the police if for no other reason than to document it for insurance purposes. It was weird for the deer to still be in the middle of the road like that.

He turned back to his kitchen counter. He had his report from today’s incident pulled up on his laptop. Gray was picky about reports. He expected them to be clear, concise, and complete within twenty-four hours whenever possible.

But by the time Donovan finally left The Haven, he’d returned to the office and didn’t stop until he’d handled three more calls. Which was why he was sitting at home trying to finish his report, instead of sleeping like a reasonable person.

A sharp rap on his front door had him reaching for his gun.

“I know you’re in there, Donovan Bledsoe. Open up.”

“Cassie?”

Donovan reached the door in record time and pulled it open. Cassie stormed in.

“We are going to talk tonight.” She pulled off her sweater and threw it on his sofa. She kept talking as she entered his kitchen. “I don’t know why you think I can’t talk tonight, but I can.” She opened his fridge and removed a small can of Coke. “And I want to.” She cracked it open. “I’m not going to have this hanging over my head all weekend.” She took a sip. “That’s not fair to me.” She walked back toward him. “I have enough to deal with, and you owe me some answers.”

By the time she stopped talking, she was standing right in front of him. He reached out, took the Coke from her hand, placed it on the nearby coffee table, pulled her against him, and pressed his lips to hers.

For a moment, she blinked at him, clearly confused. Then she pushed him away. “Oh no you don’t, mister. No. Huh-uh. No way. You can’t shut me up like that.” She reached for her Coke, and Donovan was pleased to see that her hand was trembling as she took another sip. “You don’t get to kiss me whenever you want to. You didn’t want that privilege. Remember?”

“I was an idiot.”

“No doubt.” Cassie waved the can in his direction. “But your idiocy is your problem. Not mine. Do you walk around kissing women you aren’t in a relationship with?” Her brow furrowed in real concern.

“No! Of course not! I haven’t kissed anyone since the last time I kissed you. I haven’t wanted to kiss anyone but you.”

She frowned. “Well, that’s good, I guess.”

“You guess?” Hmm. Had he misjudged this whole situation? “Do you not agree?”

“Of course I agree. That isn’t the point.”

“That is exactly the point!” Donovan reached for her hand, but she pulled it away.

“No touching.”

He raised his hands in surrender. “Yes, ma’am.”

He wasn’t quite sure where this attitude had come from, but he was quite sure that as much as he’d liked gentle, quiet, calm Cassie, he was absolutely smitten with feisty Cassie.

“I want to know why you broke up with me.”

“I’m not sure if you noticed, but I’m trying to undo that action.”

“Not a chance.”

Donovan’s mouth went dry. She couldn’t mean that. “Cassie, please. Let me explain.”

“I asked you for an explanation, and rather than explain, you said you wanted to undo it. That’s not an explanation.”

“You’re right.” He pointed to his sofa. “Can we sit? And talk?”

Cassie narrowed her eyes, then took a seat in a chair. Fine. She was sitting. He could work with that. “Would you like another Coke?”

“Yes. Please.” Her voice was low and quiet. Whatever rage had fueled her decision to come bursting in to confront him, it was fading. He took the empty can from her, tossed it in his recycling bin, and grabbed another from the fridge.

When he handed it to her, he knelt by her chair. “Cassie. I am sorry.”

Her hand shook as she opened the drink, but her voice was steady when she asked, again, “Why?”

Donovan sat on the spot on the sofa that was closest to her. “I need to tell you a story.”

“Okay.”

“It’s not a fun story.”

“Okay.”

“There’s a longer version, and I’ll be happy to share it with you in the future, but for tonight, I’ll keep it as short as I can.”

“That’s probably wise.”

Donovan opened the Coke he’d brought for himself and took a sip. “I’m not sure how to say this without it coming across as super arrogant, but I’m pretty smart.”

Cassie didn’t say anything.

“Like, straight A’s in school. Valedictorian. Total nerd.”

That earned him a raised eyebrow.

“It’s true. There are photos to prove it. I was the president of the chess club.”

Cassie didn’t manage to hold in her little snort of laughter.

“Oh, it gets better. I was freakishly skinny. And we don’t want to talk about my hair.”

At that, Cassie closed her eyes and shook her head. “I can’t see it.”

He pulled his phone from his pocket, scrolled through to social media, and found the photo he’d been looking for. He handed her his device, and she took it. Then her mouth fell open.