25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

Lucy

"W hat next?" I ask.

Aaron doesn't turn around and he doesn't answer. His hands are braced on each side of the hole, and he pants with his eyes squeezed shut. He didn't hear me when I came into the storage room, that much is obvious. But my shit drywall job is open, and his hand is still on the metal of my uncle's old toolbox. Peter didn't want it when my uncle died, and the tools in it were old and not something that forensics could trace to a recent Sears purchase.

"Why?" he asks, his voice husky like it is when we fuck. But there's no desire in his voice. Just shock. "H-how?" he stutters.

"Have you ever been threatened with bodily harm?" I ask, walking a large circle around the area and moving boxes aside. "I'm not talking about the danger of being shot on the job. I'm talking threatened with harm every single day of your existence. Kicked. Punched. Sodomized. Raped by his friends while he watched and smoked a cigar or held you down. Raped because he wanted to impress a client. Choked until you lose consciousness. That's what I went through with Beck every fucking day of my life while you were here in your safe world."

Aaron turns to me, his face unreadable, but his eyes don't leave my gaze. A tear fills his left eye, and he blinks to keep it from spilling onto his cheek. He may be crying about discovering what I've done, or maybe this is the first time I've really told him what Beck did to me. What Beck had his friends do to me. Something tells me Aaron's tears are more for what I endured. He knew I was hit and kicked. He didn't know Beck let his friends and clients rape me.

I wave my hands and pace, energy flowing through every vein. I've been holding this in for months, and I finally get a chance to get this out. Damn the consequences. This is Aaron. My Aaron. Not some beat cop that hates women. I should have told him months ago. I wanted to tell him all along.

"That does things to a girl. I often marvel how you didn't piece it together."

"Was this a fun fucking game for you? Did you do this to laugh at me? Was it fun to watch me chase my tail? Was it fun to watch me worry about you?"

"No." I shake my head and stick my hand up in a stop motion. "I would never laugh at you, Aaron. No matter what you think right now, you're my person. You always have been. I just questioned if you were blind to what was right in front of your face. You had to have suspected."

"How could you think I'd ever suspect you?" He clutches his chest like he's having chest pain. I hope he's OK. After all I've been through, I can't lose him that way. His girls can't lose him. "I love you so much, Lucy."

"What did you come down here for?" I ask, raising my eyebrows.

"I needed a level to add some more boards and noticed the drywall tape. No offense, but it looks like a girl did it."

"That's insulting and probably the most misogynistic thing I've ever heard you say, Aaron Dwyer." I wag my finger at him. "I think the last few months have shown that I shouldn't be underestimated."

Aaron takes deep breaths through his nose, and his hands flex at his side. His chest heaves like his breath is catching up with the conversation. His jaw ticks, and he blinks like he's waking up from a deep sleep.

Or recovering from a shock.

I back up against the wall. Beck beat my ass every day of our marriage, and I know the look as it forms on Aaron's face in real time. It's pure anger, but I'm not sure exactly what he's angry at. Fear grips me, and my stomach lurches as Aaron crosses the room in two quick steps. His hand goes to my neck, and he shoves me gently against the wall like he still doesn't want to hurt me, pushing my legs apart to stick his thigh between them. His hand not at my throat gently grips my hair, almost like he can't help but lovingly stroke it, and our eyes lock. "Tell me everything!"

I don't believe for a second that Aaron Dwyer will be the death of me, but he's unhinged. "Tell me right now!" he yells an inch from my face, a drop of spit hitting my skin.

If he wasn't filled with blind rage, it'd be a great time to fuck him with some passion. I could just turn around and bend over, letting him take me hard and fast. He's the only man that could ever do whatever he wants to my body. Something deep in my soul tells me we'll get through this, and the makeup sex will be insane.

"Beck was first."

Aaron shakes his head and blinks like I hit him. "Beck's dead?"

"He was never missing. I've always known exactly where we put him. I told you on charades night. I know he's not coming here."

"We?"

I hold up a finger. I'll get to that. "I texted him for months, acting like I needed to find him to serve him papers. I had to keep you busy and your mind off Cannon and the two dipshits. Funny what Ellen's campground can cover. You'll never find him. We burned him in a fire pit, and he's dust in the wind. Just in case anything was left of the ash, we took care of it with a shovel and Ellen's fishing pond."

"Ellen was involved?"

"Let me guess. You went to talk to her and she said nothing except that she had an abortion, and that was the last she saw of Beck? Yeah, did you really think she wouldn't tell me you went sniffing around? I should have given her a heads up you were going to look, but I didn't get a chance. We talked about it over one of our monthly lunches. I have lunch with her once or twice a month, we act like we're old friends, and we share if anyone is on to us or sniffing around. We turn our phones off while we lunch. Can't text and call with that kind of information, you know?"

"That's why you go back to Chicago a couple times a month."

I nod. "There was no abortion." I pause, closing my eyes at the memory of the worst day of Ellen's life. "I was the one that found her. After he kicked her stomach until she lost the baby, I found her on the floor and helped her. I had followed him with the tracking app and was outside her house. He left, and I heard her crying and screaming from almost a block away since that entire neighborhood has the acoustics of a concert hall. She didn't want a hospital, so I held her hand for hours as she miscarried while her husband was at work. She screamed in pain the whole time, and I just held her hand. I cried for her. With her. It was all I could do for her at the moment. I held her head as she threw up and writhed for hours.

"Here was a woman that was fucking my husband. I should have hated her. I felt sorry for her, though. He treated her the same way he treated me. He killed her child because he was out of town the two weeks the baby was conceived. It was Jalen's baby, and he was jealous. He wanted children with me. Did I ever tell you that?" Aaron shakes his head. "Beck wanted kids so bad. I'm sure it was a pride thing with him. Vanity. I often wondered if the beatings would stop if I got pregnant, and I was tempted for that reason alone. But I also knew that I'd be forever tied to him if I did conceive, and the beatings would start again at some point. Hell, I couldn't take a chance he'd hurt our child, and I didn't want a child to witness the daily abuse I went through.

"It's funny that I used to judge women who had children with abusive men. I guess I looked down on them because women should leave and certainly not bring another human into that situation. But after being married to that piece of shit, I get it. It's terrifying. It's indescribable when they threaten your life and everyone you've ever loved if you leave. You think about it – you actually think about having a child just so you may not get abused for nine months. It's crazy, isn't it?"

Aaron grits his teeth and nods.

"He was enraged when Ellen's baby wasn't his. She told me he yelled at her because she was now going to get fat with another man's spawn, and he didn't want her fat. She was his property. At least, that's what he said. Beck kicked her stomach over and over while he tied her hands up so she couldn't defend herself. Beck's death can't all be pinned on me for that one. There's at least one other woman in the world that felt like he deserved what he got."

"Ellen helped you?" he asks again like he can't believe two women didn't give him the information he needed when he asked.

"I drugged him when he came home by using Murphy's shit I knew Beck was helping run. I called her, using our code of coming over for a cup of coffee like normal wives of coworkers, and we dragged him to her campground. The summer season was ending, so a section was empty. If you want the full details, and I think you just asked for everything, we sawed him apart piece by piece with a rusty saw from the toolbox as he was coming to. It's in there if you're going to take it for evidence," I say, gesturing toward the hole in the wall with my chin. I think I cleaned it well, but who knows. "Ellen laid on top of him while I sawed his legs and arms off first. She cried the whole time, telling me to hurry up."

I pause and swallow. I had a hard time sawing a man apart while he was alive and gaining consciousness, even if he was awful to me. I did that to the same man I shared a bed with and whose wedding pictures hung on my mantle.

Aaron turns his head and makes a gagging gesture. He swallows and turns back to face me, releasing his grip on my neck a little. His face crinkles like he's holding back sobs. "The hardware store wasn't a purchase for a faucet, was it?"

I shake my head. "Lighter fluid and a shovel. It's surprising neither Ellen nor I had either of those. Women, huh?"

"George Cannon?" he asks in a whisper.

"Ah, I didn't know anything about George Cannon until he came looking for Beck and Beck's money. I still have no idea what Beck was going to do with the cash. I liked your theory of using it to run away from me, but we now know that didn't happen, don't we? Beck wasn't going anywhere. Did he have a second mistress on the side that Ellen and I didn't know about? A gambling problem? I'll never know. I knew damn good and well that Beck wasn't able to pay, though. He was sawed into pieces and burned in a firepit on Ellen's land after being doused with lighter fluid. But I could hardly have said that, right?"

"How did you find out who Cannon was?"

I reach up and run my hand down Aaron's cheek. "I'm so glad we're finally having this conversation. See, Murphy Beckett likes to talk about his business associates when he's getting his dick sucked by Sheri on the next couch over. Why are men like that?"

Aaron cringes and ignores my question. "Murphy talked about Cannon?"

"I pieced a lot together over a couple weeks when Murphy came in during my day shifts. He was going on and on about how he was going to be the new big dog for the mafia in the county. Only George stood in the way. From the description, I pieced together that George Cannon was the guy who sat on my couch and had his thugs threaten me. It was easy to find him after I had a name.

"Murphy hated that son of a bitch. There was a little turf war bitch slapping going on between the two of them. Something over George wanting to get into the girl trafficking business and Murphy not wanting to share the county. Once I had a name, I didn't want any neighbors involved or kids if he had them. I waited until the neighbors were at work. The only problem was the dog. Poor thing. I gave it food and water before I left, hoping someone would find George sooner rather than later so the dog wouldn't go hungry."

I take a deep breath and keep going. "I came in under the pretense of giving him his money. If he suspected something weird, I'll never know. Maybe he was going to kill me for finding out his name and where he lived, but I got to him first. I hit him with a wrench, and he went down. He was still alive, so I tied him up. Don't think I just went to work right there, though. I asked him questions." I stare at the wall behind Aaron, remembering the conversation. "I told him it was my turn to ask him questions while he was on his knees. He told me the names of the guys that he hired to threaten me. He told me every name but Geoffrey's. I didn't know who he was until the gala. I'm not entirely sure if Cannon even knew it since he didn't even say it when I chopped four fingers off."

"You didn't bring Ellen in to help on the other guys?"

"Come on, Sheriff Dwyer, you know too many cooks in the kitchen spoil the soup. It wasn't Ellen's battle to fight. Ellen had a reason to keep quiet about Beck.

"Cannon's the only one I panicked on. It was the first guy I killed by myself. Having Ellen with me on Beck's death made me feel safer. The neighbors were starting to come home from work and check their mailboxes. They were doing all the neighborly things. Delivery people were dropping off dinners. I wasn't sure if someone would come for a meeting with George, so I left out the back door and jumped a fence, hoping there were no cameras. If there were, nobody flagged it or reported it. I left him like that because I couldn't get him out of the house. I didn't think that one through except to be careful and clean up after myself. I'm sure I left some stuff behind, but I've never been in legal trouble and had no motive."

"Murphy didn't kill himself, did he?"

"Last to go. But you knew that. I told you that day, baby. I told you I had stuff to do, and I was a busy bee that morning. Why can't you understand I did it when I thought you were in danger? I'm not letting something happen to you when you have those little girls to take care of, to say nothing of how I feel about your personal safety. I couldn't bear the thought of you being hurt, and you gave me the exact times when everything would happen on the police end. I had enough time to go to his house and offer to dance for him. I made up some shit about how I'd always preferred him to Beck, and he bought it without question. Dumb mother fucker. I slipped him a little too much of his own product that my coworker, Cheryl, kindly provided for his drink, took off my clothes to dance for him to buy me some time, and then slit his wrists to make sure it took. Easy as pie to make it look like he did it himself. His laptop was right by the couch, so the email was easy. Did you even check for prints?"

Aaron shakes his head. "It looked open and shut."

"Ironic. That was the only one I was sweating because I forgot to wipe the glass I put the fentanyl in. I was good about wiping down every other scene and rubbing out footprints. It also helped that I wore the club high heels. It's amazing how my own boyfriend didn't recognize the flat smoothness of high heels on the carpet at these guys' houses."

"Space shoes," Aaron mumbles, closing his eyes.

"I've never been arrested or held a job that required fingerprints on file. I'm not in the system even if you found some DNA or prints. If I left fibers behind for your forensics, I'm sure they put them aside to see if they could compare them to someone with a motive, but who suspected me?"

He pulls back from me a little, his face turning from blind rage to sheer exhaustion.

"As for Cannon's goons in the middle of all that, I took care of them in the order you found them, except for Geoffrey, of course. He's a tough guy to find since he spells his name with a G instead of a J. I didn't figure that one out until after he attacked us and I saw the news report."

Aaron looks at the floor, and I keep going. He asked to hear everything. "They had to go, too. I couldn't have them point a finger at me as a person Cannon was after. I was worried that they may start looking around for people who had reason to take out Cannon. Sure, I'm a woman. A stripper. I'm sure I wouldn't have been their first choice as a suspect because a lot of men don't think strippers have two brain cells to rub together. That's total bullshit. I walked into work with stained shorts the day I killed Todd Daniels, but I quickly threw those away as soon as I could. Peter didn't notice the blood on them when I sat in his office and talked to him. I also waited three months before making a move on any of the men. Most people think a suspect would act immediately after being threatened. No, I took my time. Geoffrey sure didn't suspect I was capable of anything at the turtle gala. I was so used to biding my time to get away from Beck that I turned into a patient woman, and a patient woman is a dangerous and powerful force to reckon with."

"Why kill Murphy? He didn't know you were involved."

"Why the fuck not?" I close my eyes for a moment. "He'd bring whatever girlfriend he was seeing into the club and make us girls go down on each other while he watched. Maybe he thought it was fun to have power over his cousin's estranged wife. I'm sure that was part of it. He bullied the other women and made them sell his trash, taking Sheri's tips like he was her pimp. Once Cheryl told me he was threatening her kids and that he had raped Sheri, I was done hemming and hawing about killing him. I am so done fucking around with every piece of shit like them."

Aaron rolls his neck like his body doesn't know what to do with the adrenaline rush.

"Anyway, I was done with him after I knew everything I needed to know about Cannon and his dudes. Does anyone really miss him?" I ask. "I know he trafficked and moved drugs. He pissed off a lot of people. Threatened kids. Spoiler alert, zero people have missed that piece of shit since I took care of him. I knew you were on to him, so he was an easy setup. Then, when you got close, it was easy to make it look self-inflicted."

"You should have let me get him."

"Should have. Would have. Could have. He's not a player in the game now. You should really thank me."

"Someone will fill his shoes, and I'll have to start from scratch to build a case, Lucy."

"True. But you're a good cop, Aaron. Your detectives are good. Everything will unfold as it should. Besides, once you got him, someone would fill those shoes. It doesn't matter which way he was taken out."

Aaron lets go of me but runs his finger over my lips as he backs away. "Did you get a taste for it? Is this who you are now?"

I snort and rub my neck, laughing. "Are you really asking if I'm a serial killer now?"

He gives a short nod, and his eyes flick to the ceiling, probably worried about Ruby and Pearl being around a serial killer. The tear that's been in his eye finally spills over, and he doesn't wipe it away. My fingers itch to touch it, but would he even let me?

"I did what I did to protect myself, Aaron. That's it. Protect myself. Protect Peter. Love him or hate him, he's the only family I have left, and they threatened to hurt my family. I couldn't have anything with you with those men alive. That's why I fought us and pushed you away until I just couldn't anymore. Beck would never have let me leave if I hadn't killed him. You would have been in danger from Cannon. The girls would have been in danger. Hell, with those men in the world, every woman and girl would be in danger."

"We would have dealt with it like we did when Geoffrey showed up. Together."

I snort laugh. "I told you, Aaron Dwyer, I'm bad news. I've tried to tell you all along. When I told you I'd done bad things, did you just think I meant the dancing? I kill awful men. I'm angry, Aaron. I'm still angry about being beat on for years. Then, when I get some fucking peace, some mafia henchmen show up at my door and threaten me. I am done being a punching bag, and I am done being a victim."

"You don't regret it? Do you consider yourself some sort of vigilante?"

I don't blink, and I lift my chin, straightening my shoulders until I'm at my full height. "I regret nothing. I'm what happens when men fuck around. They find out. I woke up one day and realized I could either cower and cringe for the rest of my life or I could fix the problem. I righted some wrongs for myself. For Ellen. For all of the women and girls trafficked and hurt by Murphy. For any other woman that would have been beat on by Beck in the future. For every person, male or female, who was scared for their lives and their families by George Cannon and his band of little bitches. So, you ask if I have a taste for it – fuck yes, I do. I have a taste for justice. I won't go looking for a fight, but if someone starts shit with me, I'll fucking finish it. The legal way of doing things and the people that were supposed to help let me down too many times." I pause and take a breath. "Present company excluded."

His chin quivers, but he clears his throat, trying to get control of his voice. "Will you ever hurt me if you get mad at me? If we argue or this doesn't work out?" His eyes flick to the ceiling again, probably worried about leaving his daughters alone in the world. Is he having second thoughts about bringing a child into the world with me?

I hope not. I want a life with him more than anything.

"Never," I whisper, meaning it with all my heart. "I would die first. I'd never hurt you. You're everything to me, and you're a good man. Even if you break my heart twenty years from now, you'll never be akin to Murphy, Cannon, or Beck."

A tear comes out of my eye at the very thought he can even think I'd hurt him. Something about crying with him in his basement over our future moves me. I want to wrap my arms around him. Not in a sexual way. I want to hold him, rock him, and tell him it will be OK.

"I need to know if you want to do this again!" he yells, pointing to the floor. "Is it a compulsion?"

I step forward and finally wipe the tear trail off his face. Surprisingly, he doesn't flinch at my touch. "I'll only do it again if trouble comes for me. And I'll damn well do it if trouble ever looks in the direction of your girls or any child of ours. I love you. I love your girls, and I'll do whatever the universe says to do to protect everyone in this house. Consequences be damned, Aaron. But you'll need to tell me what those consequences are." I back away and hold my hands out like they're ready to be cuffed. "After all, you're the law in this county."