16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Lucy

"W hen are the girls coming back?" I ask in a quiet voice. "You can't keep them away forever. They have school."

I feel terrible that his girls aren't home with him. I see him walk by their rooms at night and stop in their doorways, simply looking at the stuffed animals they left on their beds. He folds their laundry in the evenings, and I see the sad look as he bundles their paired socks into balls, probably wondering how much longer their feet will be that little. How much time is he wasting with his girls who lost so much already?

Because of me.

He's keeping me at his house for my own safety.

And I've never felt safer. We haven't slept in the same bed since that first night, but it's not for lack of want. I want to curl into him. He just hasn't been home much.

He's exhausted, and dark circles hover under his eyes. He's pale, and even a morning run the other day didn't give him the energy I know he wants. Watching endless hours of tapes and looking for Murphy dirt has him tired and drained.

I see him in passing at night before he shuts the door to his room. I close the guest room door and let my fingers wander to my slit as I think about him. His fingers. His mouth. His cock. I've stood at my door with my hand on the knob more than once. Should I tell him I had a bad dream and climb into his bed, only to slowly work my mouth down his body? He'd allow it. I know he would. But he doesn't pursue me himself.

Is he scared I'll say no again?

Because I wouldn't. Not this time. He's probably used to me pushing him away. I don't want to push him away anymore, but I don't know how to initiate a relationship with him again.

"I'm not bringing them home yet." Aaron straightens his tie in his bathroom mirror. He looks at me with kind but tired eyes in the reflection as I lean against the doorframe, my arms crossed over my chest. "They'll come back when it's safe. I'm going to keep all my women safe."

"Do you consider me your woman, Aaron?" I ask. My heart does a swoop, and I clutch my chest for a moment, hoping that Aaron Dwyer finally hasn't given me a heart attack.

He turns to face me with hooded eyes. "Let's get one thing straight, Lucy. I loved my wife. She gave me two beautiful daughters, and nothing will ever change how much respect, love, and appreciation I had for the time I had with her. But you've always been my woman, and I hope that someday, when this shit is all over, you'll look me in the eye and agree to be mine full-time. Not because I'm keeping you safe. Not because I'm hungry for affection and can pay you a Benjamin for it at a slimy club." He waves his fingers between us, and I don't look away. "This is us. It always has been. It always will be as far as I'm concerned, and you'll have to do more than get chased by some mafia guys to get rid of me a second time. I learned my lesson after the first stupid fuckup when I was a college kid. It's got to be harder than that."

I smile at him. It's a shit-eating grin. "You think this is easy? Nah. I just make it look that way."

He grins back, and it's the first time I've seen his perfect teeth in days. Before I can help myself, I walk to him and push my face into his chest. My nose and lips press against his blue tie, and his hands slide through my hair. My legs nearly buckle at the proximity of him. The closeness.

But I'm in his arms. I won't fall. Aaron would never let me get hurt.

"Let me come to the club with you to watch the video. We can look together, and you can nap on the couch in the security room while I look," I suggest.

"It's my job to find him. It's your day off. Stay here and…do whatever you do on days off."

"I have a vested interest in finding him. I can identify him. Let me help, Aaron. I can't just stay in this house while you exhaust yourself for me. Let me help. The sooner you get a warrant for Murphy, the sooner your girls can get back to you."