Chapter 6

SIX

Natalia

I’m not sure what I’m going to say until I say it, and then it all makes sense. Because I’m truly not afraid of death. My fear is about living again. I started to give myself to Logan emotionally and he was killed, and then after finding someone as special as Cooper, I almost lost him as well. It’s hard to put into words, but I feel like a bad luck charm or something.

“What happened to me wasn’t your fault,” Cooper says softly, practically reading my mind. “And neither was what happened to Logan. I don’t know what’s going through that pretty head of yours, but stop blaming yourself. You’ve lost weight, so I don’t think you’re eating. You have dark circles under your eyes, so you’re obviously not sleeping… You’re not taking care of yourself, and you have to know, even if it’s only subconsciously, what you’re doing.”

I blink in confusion. “What am I doing?”

“You’re punishing yourself.” His eyes meet mine as someone comes in with trays of food.

The food is basic, but it doesn’t matter because I haven’t had much appetite in a long time. Maybe I am subconsciously punishing myself, but I can’t control my appetite or insomnia, so I don’t know what to say about it. Instead, I nibble on salad, chicken, and mashed potatoes, giving Cooper what I can’t finish since he seems to be starving.

We finish eating, and I move our trays to the counter by the door before sitting in the chair next to his bed again.

“Wanna go see the boys?” he asks after a few minutes. “You can push me in a wheelchair. I think they’d like to see you.”

“Okay.” I go to the door and look up and down the hallway until I see a wheelchair. I go get it and bring it into the room. I help him into it and then push him down a few corridors.

“In there,” he says, pointing. I turn the way he directs, and we go into a room. Before I can say or do anything, an extremely pregnant woman about my age whirls around, hands on her hips.

“God dammit, Cooper, you almost got him killed!” The woman is pissed.

“Now, Mary, darlin’, you know it wasn’t—” Leo tries to talk but she holds up a finger, effectively cutting him off.

“Mary, I understand you want to take a swing at me,” Cooper says with a fond smile, “but you think you could wait until these ribs heal?”

Mary’s face softens as she looks down at him. She reaches out to cup his cheek, shaking her head. “Oh, Coop, what did they do to you guys?”

“Just a little scuffle in the desert. You know how it goes.”

“This baby needs a daddy.” She rubs her hand over her belly. “And I need a husband.”

“We’re fine, babe.” Leo’s voice is gentle, as if he’d said the words many times before. “We’re all okay.”

Mary sighs. “This time.” She spots me and frowns slightly. “Oh my god, are you Natalia?”

My eyes widen. How on earth did she recognize me? Had Leo told her about me? And in what capacity?

“Yes, I’m Natalia.”

“I’ve heard so much about you.” Mary smiles and holds out her hand. “The guys talked about you so much I almost got jealous. Almost. I know my Leo loves me, and now that I see how Coop looks at you…it all makes sense.”

I’m not sure what to say to that but smile and shake her hand anyway.

“I’m just glad the guys are okay,” I say quietly.

“She’s beautiful, Coop,” Mary says to Cooper as if I’m not standing right here. “I hope you’re not going to let this one get away.”

“Easy, Marine Wife,” he teases, chuckling. “Let me heal up a little before you send me off on the next mission.”

I don’t understand their inside jokes and easy banter, but it’s comfortable and friendly, so I lean against the wall, watching as they talk and laugh. Every so often, Cooper looks over at me, his bright blue eyes burning with intensity, but I’m not sure what it means. I love his eyes, though. So beautifully blue. With those long, dark lashes. They melt my heart and get me damp in my nether regions.

He looks tired right now, though, and Mary and I exchange a knowing look.

“You look wiped, Coop,” Mary says. “Go get some shut-eye. I’ll be right here holding down the fort.”

“I’m a fun date, right?” Cooper asks a few minutes later as I help him back into bed. “Hospital food and bedtime by eight.”

I smile. “It’s okay. I’m happy to sit here and watch you sleep.”

“You could crawl in here and cuddle with me,” he says, motioning to the six-inch spot beside him.

“I’m in pretty good shape, but I’m not that small.”

He scoots to one side, increasing the empty space by a few inches. “Come lie with me, Natalia. Just for a little bit.”

I reach out and gently brush my fingers over his bruised face. “Let me change into sweats and a T-shirt. I’ll be right back.”

I go into the bathroom and change, putting my hair up and sliding my feet into a pair of slippers. I came prepared to stay at the hospital with Cooper, no matter how small or uncomfortable it is, but it actually sounds nice to crawl into bed with him. Even if we can’t do anything and I have to be careful of his ribs.

He’s dozing when I come back into the room, but he holds out a hand and I take it. I manage to wiggle into the small hospital bed, lying on my side so I don’t put any weight on him. He dims the lights, and we both seem to relax despite the cramped quarters.

“I never thought I’d touch you again,” he says in the semi-darkness, one hand resting on my hip. “Your face was all I saw when I closed my eyes. Thinking about you got me through it, Nat.”

“I was so scared,” I whisper back. “I didn’t know what was going on, but I couldn’t lose you. I couldn’t…”

“I’m sorry you had to go through it again, but I’m here.”

I rest my head on his shoulder. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too.”

I relax, the stress, tension, and heartache of the last few months practically draining out of me. And for the first time in months, I sleep.

* * *

The early morning hustle and bustle of the hospital wakes us, and I wince as I turn over. I fell asleep nestled against Cooper’s chest and now I have a crick in my neck, but it’s worth it. I don’t know what time it is, but I slept well, so I smile at the nurse who comes in.

“That doesn’t look comfortable,” the woman says, smiling back. “But a hot shower might help.”

“Yes, thank you.” I slowly get up, stretching my neck and shoulders.

“Morning.” Cooper opens his eyes and shifts a little.

“You need help getting to the bathroom?” the nurse asks.

Cooper seems to hesitate but then nods. “Yeah. I guess.”

“I’ll help you.” I slide my feet into my slippers and hold out a hand to him. He takes it, grimacing as he slowly lifts to his feet. He hates showing weakness, which is why I figure it will be easier on his ego if I help him instead of the nurse.

We take the few steps into the bathroom, and I lean against the wall. “I’ve already seen it all,” I say, giving him an impish grin. “So go ahead and do your thing.”

He grins back, shaking his head. “That’s my ballsy Natalia, trying to hang on to my masculinity for me, huh? Don’t worry, baby, I’m good. I know this is temporary.”

“Temporary or not, hurry up because I have to pee too.”

He laughs and takes care of business, washing his face and hands while I do my thing as well. Then we hobble back into the room where I get him settled in bed before grabbing clean clothes out of my bag. The nurse told me where I could shower so I go to do that while she checks Cooper’s vitals, takes blood, and whatever else they have planned for him.

I take a quick but hot shower and put on clean jeans and a T-shirt. I pull on socks and slide my feet into my boots. I didn’t bring a hair dryer, but it can dry naturally, so I put on a little makeup, gather up my things, and head back to Cooper’s room.

Breakfast just arrived, and he thoughtfully ordered something for me, so we sit and eat without talking.

“You slept,” he says after a while.

“I did.”

“No, I mean, you slept hard. You told me you hadn’t been sleeping but last night you did. And I did too.”

“I’ve been worried about you, so it makes sense that I would sleep now that I know you’re okay.”

His eyes meet mine. “That’s part of it, but you weren’t sleeping even before I got captured. And yet you slept last night. With me.”

“Well, so did you.” I’m not sure what he’s getting at. There’s something between us, but we already knew that, so what is he trying to say?

“I’m not prepared to live eight thousand miles away from you, Nat.”

Wow.

I wasn’t expecting anything so blunt.

“I don’t know what choice we have,” I say softly. “I took an oath to the Royal Protectors, just like you took one to the marines. What can we do?”

“I don’t know, but there has to be a way for us to spend more time together, to figure out why this thing between us is so good.”

My phone rings, and I frown when I see Sandor’s name on the screen. “I have to take this,” I tell Cooper as I lift the phone to my ear. “Hi, what’s up?”

“Erik will be stopping in Germany to pick you up in a couple of hours,” he says brusquely. “We need you back here.”

“Today? Why? I thought I had one more day?”

“There was another attack on the palace yesterday, and Lennox went into labor in the middle of it. I’m sorry to cut your time short but we need you.”

“Is everything okay?” I feel a little lightheaded at the thought of yet another attack.

“Everything is okay now, beyond the mess, but with Lennox out of commission, we just can’t spare you. I’m sorry.”

“Of course. What time?”

“Erik will call you.”

“Thanks.” I disconnect with a sigh.

“What happened?” Cooper asks.

“There was another attack on the palace, and Lennox had the twins. Unfortunately, that means they need me back right away.”

“Today.”

I sigh. “Yes.”

“Then I’m going with you.”