Chapter 22

TWENTY-TWO

Natalia

The guys appear to be having a serious conversation at the back of the plane. Part of me is annoyed that I’ve been left out, because I’m a Royal Protector too. Technically, I don’t have any part in interviewing or choosing new Royal Protectors, but this is different. I already have a meeting scheduled with Joe and Sandor to talk about the possibility of bringing Cooper aboard, so I don’t understand why they’re talking without me.

There isn’t a lot of misogyny in the palace, and especially not among the Royal Protectors, but it’s alive and well in Limaj. Erik can only fight so many battles at once, and he’s more focused on the economy, infrastructure, and healthcare. As forward-thinking as he is, I can still see lingering old-school traits.

“It’s not personal.” Casey’s soft voice jolts me out of my reverie.

I turn to her questioningly. “What?”

“Your irritation is practically tangible,” she says with a soft smile.

I sigh, “I’m one of them ,” I mutter, “so why am I up here with the girls?”

“Because I’m sure they’re talking about the Royal Protector thing, and your personal relationship probably makes it difficult to be impartial.”

“What is there for me to be impartial about?”

“They probably don’t know either, and that’s why they’re meeting with you privately tomorrow.”

I make a face. “It’s still annoying as fuck. I’m not some future Royal Protector’s girlfriend—I am a Royal Protector.”

She puts a gentle hand on my forearm and squeezes. “You are, but you have to trust that Erik, Joe, and Sandor know what they’re doing.”

That’s easier said than done, but I’m not going to argue with Casey. There’s no point. If anything, I’ll say something to Joe tomorrow. Besides, it feels like we’re leaving Shannon out of the conversation, and that’s as impolite as what they’re doing. This is the first opportunity I’ve had to spend any significant amount of time with her, so I wanted to get to know her better.

Shannon is smart and sweet. I really like her, and she’s a good sport coming along to play her role as part of Casey’s entourage. “Shannon, how did you feel about being part of Casey’s entourage over the weekend?” I ask, opting to change the subject.

“It was interesting,” she replies with a faint smile. “I mean, any excuse to see Ace in a tux works for me, but it was a little overwhelming to be surrounded by so much paparazzi.”

“It was my first time too,” I say. “From the outside looking in, there’s no doubt Ace is some kind of bodyguard to the king, so you were mostly ignored, but I’m an unknown. Joe and Sandor have purposely kept me under the radar since it makes it easier for me to take Casey out in public, but after last night, the paparazzi want to know who I am. This part of the job is new to me. I’m not afraid, but it certainly adds a level of complication I hadn’t been anticipating.”

“We didn’t think the media would latch on to you the way they did,” Casey says. “So we’re probably going to have to adjust some things.”

“Most of the world doesn’t know or care who I am, but there’s a small city in northern Limaj that recognizes me and knows I’m not an heiress.”

“That’s a problem for another day,” Casey says with a smile. “What did you guys buy at that boutique?”

We had visited a cute boutique that sells stationery, books, and other handmade crafty items, and it was the first place where I could actually afford something. There was a beautiful notebook with a hand-painted picture of the city on the cover. The pages inside were lined and I know it’s something Femke will love, along with a set of colored pencils. She loves to draw, journal, and doodle, so this will make a nice gift for her birthday.

I found a washable apron that has a picture of a Parisian woman with a chef’s hat for my mother, and warm fuzzy socks that say “I love Paris” on the bottoms for Luciana. I picked up some cute socks for my niece as well, but the large shopping bags seem to have more than those few things I bought.

“How did we wind up with so much stuff?” I ask, reaching for one of the shopping bags since they’d been delivered directly to the plane.

“I don’t know.” Shannon reaches for hers and right on top is an adorable green and white striped onesie with the Eiffel Tower embroidered on it.

“When is the baby due, Shannon?” Casey asks Shannon softly.

Shannon pales a little, blinking at her. “I, er… how did you know?” she finally asks. “We haven’t told anyone yet.”

“You have a certain glow about you—all pregnant women do. And also, I saw you eyeing all the beautiful baby clothes and other items, but you put each one down again carefully. I’m assuming because you don’t know the sex yet or you’re waiting for a certain milestone.”

Shannon flushes. “We just found out… I’m only eight weeks. We weren’t going to tell anyone yet.”

“I apologize, but I won’t tell anyone,” Casey promises. “But I had Celeste, the shop owner, add a few items for the baby. You can put them away until you find out, but my gut tells me it’s a little girl.”

Shannon’s eyes widen. “Oh my goodness. Thank you!”

She bursts into tears.

Casey hands her a tissue, talking to her in a soothing tone, and conversation moves to all things pregnancy, hormones, and babies.

And suddenly I want that too.

Not now , but maybe in four or five years. I’m only twenty-six, so I have time, but that’s something Cooper and I have never talked about. We’ve talked about getting engaged someday, but not whether or not he wants kids.

Six months ago, that would have terrified me.

Now I’m looking forward to the future.

Moving in together.

Getting married at some point.

I know I’m getting ahead of myself, but we’ve spent the last two days talking about officially moving in together, him becoming a Royal Protector. Where else would this go?

He hasn’t made up his mind yet, so that part is concerning, but I know the prospect is as exciting as it is daunting. He’s the only one who can make up his mind, so I have to be patient. And that’s not my forte.

* * *

I’m antsy before I meet with Joe and Sandor. I’m still a little annoyed about yesterday’s meeting on the plane, and I decide to bring it up once we’re settled in Sandor’s office. “I assume we’re here to talk about Cooper joining the Protectors,” I say.

Sandor nods. “Do you have an issue with that?”

“No, but I do have an issue with something that happened yesterday.”

Both of them have blank looks on their faces, reminding me that while we’ve come a long way, we still have quite a way to go.

“Why was I left out of a meeting about Royal Protector business?” I ask quietly, trying to keep my voice neutral. “I haven’t had my oath-swearing ceremony yet, but you’ve both told me I’ve passed all my tests and am officially on the full duty roster.”

No one moves for a beat, and then they give each other a weird look.

“That’s on me,” Sandor says after a moment, shaking his head. “And I apologize. You’re right. It’s become a habit to leave you out because you were still training, still recuperating, still something or other. But those days are done. You have my sincere apology—and my promise it won’t happen again.”

“Thank you.” I dip my head.

That’s all I can ask for.

“Yeah, I’m sorry too,” Joe adds. “It wasn’t intentional, just a habit. One that we need to break. With Lennox on maternity leave and you just getting into the swing of things, it’s become a bit of a boys’ club. That doesn’t make it right, and we’ll do better in the future, but that’s the only explanation I have.”

“That’s fair, and apologies are accepted. Now let’s talk about Cooper.”

“Although Joe and I obviously have the final say on anyone we hire, we do have a vote every time we add someone new. The vote for Dax will happen when he gets back from Iraq. Yours already happened.”

I knit my brows together in confusion.

I hadn’t realized there was something as official as a vote .

“Do we vote together or individually?” I ask curiously.

“It’s an official vote where we’re all in the same room together. But in this particular case, since you and Cooper are involved, we needed to have a private conversation first. Because if he decides to join us, there could come a time when you have to make a very difficult choice. Cooper’s life or Casey’s. His life or Levi’s. Erik’s. Can you do that?”

I’m thoughtful. “In theory, yes, of course, but I don’t think it’s that cut and dried. It can’t be. We’re talking about human beings. And please, I mean no disrespect with the question I’m about to ask, but I’m trying to understand… would you pick Erik over one of your children?”

Sandor nods slowly. “That’s a very fair question. And the honest answer is—you’re right. It’s not as black and white as Erik or my boys. I would probably die trying to save both.”

Yeah, that’s kind of what I’ve been thinking too.

The thought of leaving Cooper to certain death while spiriting away Casey or one of the kids leaves a sour taste in my mouth, but it really wouldn’t be any different than leaving anyone behind. “I don’t know that leaving Cooper behind in a life-or-death situation would be different than leaving you or Lennox or any of my friends. I would hesitate, but in the end, I believe I would do my duty.”

“That’s all we can ask,” Sandor says quietly. “Five years ago, I would have had completely different answers and guidelines, but we can’t ask people not to have personal lives. Not to have children. To just focus on the job. That’s not only unfair, it’s unrealistic. All we can do is trust that everyone is trained and in the best position to save as many people as possible under any and all circumstances.”

“The other issue, of course, is if you break up. Cooper seems to think the two of you can work together, but I think it’s different for you.” He holds up a hand when I start to protest. “Don’t deny women can be more emotional. It’s how you’re built biologically. Hormones and all that. You do a hell of a job, but how will you feel if he breaks your heart and then you have to see him every day? When Lennox and Sandor broke up, she asked to be transferred to Monaco to bodyguard the twins.” Casey and her ex-husband Jayson have shared custody of their twin daughters, and the girls spend the school year in Monte Carlo with him and his new wife.

“I don’t know how I’ll feel,” I admit. “It would be difficult, I’m sure, depending on the circumstances of the break-up—like if he cheated on me with someone who works here at the palace—but I could do my job. I might want a few weeks in Vegas or something, just for a change of scenery initially. I think that’s a fair request. The royal family would never be in danger because of it, though. Not in a million years.”

I don’t know if that’s completely true because I can’t imagine us breaking up unless it’s mutual, where we grow apart or something. I’d never let a broken heart impact the safety of the family, though.

“Then I guess we’re moving forward with Cooper taking on some Royal Protector duties to see how he feels about it,” Joe says, closing his laptop.

Holy shit.

I know nothing is official and Cooper hasn’t made up his mind, but I allow myself a moment of excitement anyway.

I really want him to say yes.