Chapter 10

TEN

Natalia

Cooper sleeps for more than two days. He gets up to use the restroom and I force a couple of bowls of soup and a few bottles of water into him, but other than that, he sleeps for fifty-six hours. I was a little worried at first, but the palace doctor told me his body is healing and rest is the best thing for him. So I worked, hovered, and slept beside him. Strangely enough, on his third morning here, he’s awake when my alarm goes off.

“Are you actually awake?” I ask, looking over at him.

“I am.” He nods. “And I feel like a new man. What’s your schedule today?”

“Workout, shower, daily briefing, then guard duty with the queen.”

“Can I come with you for any of it?”

“Why don’t you come with me to work out and you can talk to Joe. Maybe you can hang with us at the morning briefing—there’s usually breakfast.”

“I need a quick shower. I’ve been in bed three days.”

“I was getting worried about you,” I admit, running my hand over his chest. “The doctor said you were okay, but I’ve never seen anyone sleep so long.”

“I haven’t slept so well or so deeply in… a long time.”

Our eyes meet and understanding passes between us. “Me either.”

Twenty minutes later we walk into the gym. I’m a few minutes late, but I waited for Cooper, and though he’s doing a lot better, he’s still moving slower than usual.

“Welcome!” Joe looks up from an exercise bike with a friendly wave. “Good to see you up and around.”

“Thanks.” Cooper nods. “Good to be here. I’m probably just going to walk a little today. Doctors told me to take it slow.”

“And you will,” I tell him. “I’ll make sure of it.”

He chuckles. “Yes, ma’am.”

I get on the treadmill and start to jog. I keep hoping Lennox will be back soon because she always pushes me to be better, stronger, and faster. She makes a great trainer, but until she’s back from maternity leave, I have to make do on my own. Some of the other women who live at the palace, including Casey, come down sometimes, but not today.

Instead, King Erik is here, along with most of the Protectors.

I pick up my pace, finding my rhythm as I watch Cooper chatting with the guys.

I run for thirty minutes and finally slow to a walk before moving to the exercise bar. I’ve been working on upper body strength, and while it’s a lot better, I still have less than I’d like. I grip the bar and do the first pull-up. God, these are hard. I manage a second, a third, and then pause, catching my breath.

“You’re doing great,” Cooper calls, watching me. We’d done this in Iraq too. “You couldn’t even do one six months ago.”

“I know.” I do another pull-up, grimacing as my arms start to shake.

“Come on, let’s get to ten,” Sandor says, jumping up and grabbing the bar beside me.

I grunt, pulling up for the fifth time.

Sandor does three in quick succession and Cooper calls to me. “Come on, babe, don’t let him catch you. Do another.”

I get to six while Sandor does four and five. He’s twice my size with biceps the size of tree trunks. This is totally unfair, but I’m always up for a challenge and I squeeze my eyes shut as I do my seventh.

“Come on, Nat, you got this! Let’s go, three more!” Cooper sounds more like a drill sergeant than a boyfriend, but it works, and I do the eighth pull-up as Sandor does his eighth as well.

“Two more, Natalia,” Sandor teases, pulling himself up easily for number nine.

Jerk.

My arms are on fire and shaking, but I manage one more.

There’s just one left, and Sandor is patiently waiting for me to get there.

“Ready?” he asks.

I grin and dig deep, pulling myself up a fraction of a second before he does. Then I let go and drop to the ground, bending at the waist and resting my hands on my thighs.

“Proud of you, babe.” Cooper puts a gentle hand on my back.

“Good job, Nat!” Sandor gives me a thumb’s up as he heads for the treadmill.

“Tomorrow is weights,” I murmur.

“You look great,” Cooper says.

“I’m hitting the showers,” I say.

“If he’s up to it, I’m going to show Cooper around,” Joe tells me.

“See you at breakfast!” I call to Cooper. “And don’t overdo it!”

* * *

“You didn’t bring him with you?” Casey demands when I get up to the royal apartment after the morning briefing. “I’m dying to meet him.”

“He was exhausted after walking around and sitting through the briefing. I put him back to bed and came to work.”

“Boo. I wanted to meet the guy who’s stolen your heart.”

“I don’t know about all that,” I laugh. “He’s special, though. Hopefully, he can stay long enough for us to figure it out.”

“Would you leave us, Natalia?” Casey asks softly.

“What? No.” I shake my head thoughtfully. “I mean, I can’t. Not for at least five years.”

“Have you ever been in love?”

“Beyond teenage crushes and such? No. Not adult love.”

“I don’t think you can know what you’d do until you’ve experienced it. It’s strong, heady stuff. I never thought I’d still love Erik ten years after he supposedly died. I never thought Sandor would get married. Love changes everything.”

“That sounds terrifying,” I admit. “I don’t know that I ever want to have feelings so strong they could make me abandon my post, my duty…”

“Sometimes life takes you in directions you don’t expect, but you’re definitely in a tough position. Don’t get me wrong—I don’t want you to leave. I just wondered how you’re feeling about everything. You’ve had a rough year, and I imagine you’re ready for something good to happen. And true love feels so, so good.”

“Does it?” I have no clue what true love is like. My teenage boyfriends hadn’t been that serious and while I’d liked Logan, I hadn’t been in love with him. I had hopes we might get there, but he died before that came into play.

“It’s wonderful. It has to be the right person, though.”

“How do you know when it’s the right person?”

“You know how when you meet someone interesting, or hot, or whatever the case may be?”

Our eyes meet and I nod.

“But then, you know, it kind of fades. With the right person, it never fades. Erik still makes my heart beat faster. When he touches me, I can’t think straight. When he tells me he loves me, I fall in love with him all over again. Yes, of course, it’s not twenty-four-seven. There are distractions and children and attacks on the palace.” She playfully rolls her eyes. “But when we’re together? It’s like the first time all over again.”

“That sounds…beautiful,” I admit. “I don’t think my parents feel that way about each other. In fact, I don’t think I know any other couple who feels that way about each other.”

“I think you do. You just don’t realize it. Sandor and Lennox one hundred percent feel that way. Xander and Elen. Axel and Solange.”

“I didn’t feel that way with Logan. I mean, there were butterflies when we first got together, but it wasn’t this kind of magic.”

She smiles. “So you’re saying what you feel with Ryan is magic.”

I blush.

She’s my friend, but she’s still my queen , my boss.

And I have to be careful because I signed a contract.

“There was something there from the moment we met, but I thought maybe it was just me. He was my commanding officer so I couldn’t do anything but then as soon as I went off duty that last night… I took my shot, and it turns out he felt it too. And it’s scary because he has to go home. It’s not like he can stay here with me. Even if everything goes perfectly and we fall in love and want to be together forever—he has to go back to the military.”

She nods with understanding. “Of course. But love, the good kind, is always terrifying.”

“It can’t be love after sleeping together once.”

“Is sex the sole measure of love? Didn’t you spend six months together? You worked and played and got to know each other. You probably spent more time with him than most people who are dating and sleeping together. So you absolutely could be in love with him. Why else would you take a risk like having sex on that last night?”

“I don’t know if he feels it,” I whisper.

“He’s here, isn’t he? You know how easy it would have been for him to lie and say he wasn’t given permission? That he had to go home to his family or whatever? Instead, he’s here. In a country that means nothing to him, with no friends, none of the medical attention he’s entitled to in the U.S. Nothing. Except you .”

I hadn’t thought of it that way until now.

And it’s a little heady.

“Maybe that’s partly why I’m scared. What if I disappoint him and it was all for nothing?”

She shakes her head. “Don’t do that. Disappoint him how? By being strong and beautiful and busy? Maybe. But if that’s a disappointment, then it’s him, not you, because he has to admire your work ethic. Did you read the report he submitted to Sandor? The report about your progress and his overall assessment about your readiness to become a Royal Protector.”

I frown. “No. Did you?”

She wiggles her eyebrows playfully. “I see all kinds of things I probably shouldn’t late at night when Erik and I are reading in bed. And he got that report a week or two before you came home, so it had nothing to do with what happened on your last night there.”

Thank goodness.

That would have been mortifying.

But now I’m dying of curiosity.

“Will you tell me?”

She smiles. “Basically, that you were strong and tough and focused on your training. That he saw a lot of grit and determination, a wonderful work ethic, and loyalty to the team.”

I hadn’t realized he thought those things, and I feel a rush of pride. I’ve worked hard to get to this point in my career—and Cooper noticed.

“Good morning, ladies.” Erik comes in looking rakishly handsome. He’s not put together for the day, wearing sweats and a T-shirt, with his hair tousled from some sort of exercise.

I’m not attracted to my king, but it’s impossible to miss how good-looking he is, especially in a casual setting like this. He’s normally in a suit with his hair slicked back. Seeing him walking around his home barefoot, it hits differently.

“Daddy!” Levi runs to his father, wrapping his arms around his legs and babbling something about breakfast.

“I’m sure you’ve already had breakfast,” Erik replies, scooping him up and setting him on his hip. “But if you would like to have second breakfast with me in Daddy’s office, we can do that. I have to shower first.”

“Second bek-fist!” Levi pumps his fist in the air triumphantly.

“Erik.” Casey gives her husband a dour look. “Someone, who isn’t me, will be cleaning up after him and delivering him to his preschool if you insist on that.”

“I’ll take him to preschool,” Erik says defensively.

Preschool is here in the palace, set up in a room on the ground floor close to the new playground. A teacher comes in three days a week to work with the toddlers who live here. It’s not a large number, just four or five kids, but it’s good for them to have some semblance of normalcy, according to Casey. And it allows their mothers to have a little freedom.

It’s interesting to me, because Casey can afford as much help or as many nannies as necessary, but they keep it simple. It’s one of many things I admire about this new style of royal family.

“Then we’re going into the city,” Casey says to me. “I need to pick up some things at the music store. What do you say we go incognito? I really don’t want a whole entourage to pick up strings and a new flute I had specially carved by a woodworker.”

I nod.

“Give me ten minutes to prepare the car,” I say.

There are always multiple steps involved in outings, but if we’re going what we call incognito, it’s easier. Casey wears a cap and glasses to disguise herself a little, I shed my official Royal Protector uniform to match her level of casual, and we take a special car that doesn’t look like the usual royal limousines or SUVs.

“We’ll just be here prepping for second breakfast,” Erik quips.

Casey rolls her eyes, and I laugh.