Chapter 16

16

E ndless inquiries following church services about what happened at the farm left Aundy exhausted. She declined Nora's invitation to stay for lunch and instead went home to spend the afternoon in the peace and quiet of her own house.

Unable to sleep the previous night due to being both frightened and angry, Aundy wanted nothing more than to curl up on her bed and take a nap.

She removed her church dress and shoes and pulled on one of the old calico dresses she'd altered to fit her taller, thinner frame. Plucking the pins out of her hair, she braided it and fastened the end with a ribbon.

Drained, she flopped down on the bed, tugged a quilt over her legs, and was soon asleep.

Loud, insistent rapping woke her from her dreams of Garrett. Disoriented and half-awake, she scrambled to her feet and hurried to the door.

"My gracious, Aundy, are you unwell?" Ashton asked, pushing his way inside the front room.

"I'm well." Aundy knew she probably looked like a rumpled mess but didn't care if she did.

Ashton had been fun to visit with on numerous occasions, it was interesting to see his huge, stately home, but he'd never be a close friend, someone Aundy counted on.

Something about him seemed secretive. Even she could tell Ashton wasn't always telling her the truth. With no idea what he wanted or why he'd dropped by unannounced, she really wasn't in the mood to visit with him. "May I help you with something?"

"No, my dear." Ashton motioned for Aundy to have a seat. Instead of sitting on the sofa Ashton indicated, Aundy chose the rocking chair. A sense of foreboding settled over her and she studied Ashton as he settled into the armchair across the room.

He fidgeted with his pocket watch, taking it out of his vest then shoving it back without ever looking at the time. One of his polished boots tapped out an erratic rhythm and he looked like he'd buttoned his collar too tight.

"Are you well?" Aundy thought he looked quite unlike himself.

"Quite, my dear." Ashton leaned back in the chair. "I realize you've had a time of it the last few days and I wanted to offer my assistance. If there is anything I can do to help you, please let me know."

"That's very kind, Ashton. Thank you." Aundy offered a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

"It isn't kindness, Aundy," Ashton said, looking at her with a probing gaze. "It's quite selfish on my part. You see, I've been meaning to ask you something and well, with things like they are, it seems like the most favorable time."

Confused by Ashton's words, she was startled when he strode across the room to her chair and dropped to one knee.

"Let me care for you. Let me keep you safe from harm. Let me love and cherish you. Become my bride." Ashton brought Aundy's hand to his mouth and kissed the back of it fervently.

Barely resisting the urge to jerk her hand away and wipe it on her skirt, Aundy worked up a smile. She had no idea why Ashton would propose to her. He needed some dainty beauty for a wife, one whose only concern was making him comfortable. Aundy was most definitely not the woman best suited for the position.

"Ashton, your proposal is quite flattering, but I know it's just this situation that has driven you to ask." Aundy rose to her feet, forcing Ashton to do the same. She stepped behind a chair to keep space between them. In an effort to appear sincere, she held a hand to her chest. "You are a dear, sweet man, Ashton. I appreciate your friendship and your proposal, but you deserve more than I can give you."

Ashton looked crushed as he picked up his hat and gloves from where he'd tossed them when he arrived.

"I'm sorry. I just assumed you felt the same way I do." Ashton mumbled something she couldn't hear.

"Begging your pardon?" Aundy asked as Ashton walked toward the door.

"Please, forgive me for attempting to thrust my attentions on you." He offered her a remorseful look then rushed out the door.

Aundy released the breath she didn't even realize she held. She sank into a chair and replayed the conversation with Ashton in her head. His proposal made no sense to her.

He was the type of man who preferred beauty to brains, submissive to independent, feeble to strong.

Sincerely hoping she hadn't hurt his feelings, Aundy decided to go for a ride to clear her head. Quickly changing into a riding skirt and boots, she left her hair in a braid, but added a wide-brimmed hat and hurried out to the barn.

Bell greeted her with a friendly whinny.

"You want to go for a run, girl?" Aundy asked as she saddled the horse and led her out of the barn. After mounting Bell, she decided to check on Nik.

George and Bill helped move the sheep to a pasture closer to the house, where it would be easier to keep an eye on them.

All was calm as Aundy approached. Nik sat beneath a tree playing a mournful tune on his harmonica while Bob and Butter rested at his side.

"That's a sad song you're playing," Aundy said, as she swung out of the saddle.

"I know, but I feel sad today." Nik stuffed his harmonica into his pocket and stood. He'd grown in the weeks since he came to the farm. His new overalls, which Aundy bought to give him growing room, fit him well. It wouldn't be long before he'd outgrow them and they'd be too short. She expected Nik to be a tall, big man when he reached his full weight and height.

For now, she was glad to have the gangly boy with her on the farm. Affectionately throwing an arm around his shoulders, Aundy gave him a quick squeeze before kneeling down and petting both Butter and Bob.

"Why does someone want to hurt our sheep?" Nik couldn't understand what his sheep had done to incur someone's wrath. "They're harmless."

"I know, Nik." Aundy reached out a hand to the boy. He took it and sat beside her. She rubbed his back and sighed as she looked over the flock of sheep. The herd grazed peacefully on the green pasture with the blue sky above them. "I'm having a hard time understanding it myself. Let's just pray whoever it is decides to leave us alone."

"But what if they hurt you?"

"Oh, Nik." Aundy gave the boy a one-armed hug. "I'll be fine. Don't you worry."

She tried to talk him into going to the bunkhouse to rest, but he refused to leave the sheep.

"Don't wear yourself out, Nik. You need your rest. If you don't take care of yourself, you won't be any good to the sheep." Aundy gave Bob and Butter a little more attention before she mounted Bell.

"Yes, ma'am. I'll get some rest later." Nik waved as she rode off along the fence line.

Aundy let Bell have her head, riding with no direction in mind. She enjoyed the feel of the breeze on her face, the sun on her back, and the quiet of the afternoon.

Feeling much better than she had when she left the house, she stopped at the creek that ran through a section of the farm and let Bell get a drink.

She thought she saw a fish dart into the shadows and smiled. Light reflected off the water in shimmering beams, making the place seem almost magical.

As she sat on the bank, she studied the bugs landing on the surface of the water. A crawdad hid beneath a broken tree limb. Rocks of all types, shapes and sizes that made up the creek bed glistened in the sunlight.

She trailed her hand in the cool water and picked up a handful of rocks. Carefully sorting through them, she kept a few that caught her eye and stuffed them in her pocket.

Easily mounting Bell, she turned the horse toward home, in no hurry to get there. When she topped the rise behind the barn, she stopped to take in the sight of the farm.

If someone had told her a year, or even six months ago, she'd be riding a horse, sitting on a hill in the sunshine admiring a neat red barn, planted fields, and a pasture full of sheep, she would have thought they'd lost their ability to think rationally. Chicago, and the life she'd had there, seemed like a lifetime ago. It was a place where she'd been marking time instead of truly living before her arrival in Pendleton.

Aundy felt fully alive in her new home. She had good friends, something exciting that drove her out of bed each day and, if she'd let herself admit it, a man she loved who stirred feelings in her she'd never known existed.

Her love for Gunther had been real, even though it was the first love of a young girl. This passion, this demanding current that flowed between Garrett and her, was something entirely different. It had depth and breadth, lightness and darkness, gentleness and wildness all rolled into one.

It scared her. Unsettled her with its intensity. It also made her feel beautiful, wanted, and loved.

Determined not to become involved with another man, her heart whispered it was already far too late.

If she didn't know Garrett, didn't know how he made her feel, she wondered if she would have turned down Ashton. Despite his pretty face and southern charm, she would never marry Ashton.

Thanks to Erik and his belief in her, she no longer had to depend on a husband to be successful. She could do that on her own.

Grateful again for her many blessings, Aundy rode Bell home and gave her a good brushing before stopping by the bunkhouse. She asked Li to have Dent make sure Nik came in for the night. She knew he'd have someone else keep an eye on the sheep. The boy would collapse if he didn't soon get some rest.

After spending a quiet evening reading, a big yawn nearly cracked her jaw, reminding her it was time for bed. She turned out the lights in the front room and kitchen then walked down the hallway to the bathroom when a thump resonated outside on the front porch.

Fearful of what she might find, she rushed into her room, grabbed the revolver from her reticule, and slipped out the kitchen door.

The smart thing to do would have been to run to the bunkhouse and get reinforcements, but Aundy didn't want to take a chance her tormentor would get away.

Cautiously edging around the corner of the house, she peeked up on the porch and saw no one. Glad the moon illuminated the night, she stayed in the shadows and moved along the front of the house.

Quiet surrounded her so she decided to go back to make sure someone didn't sneak in the kitchen door. She turned to retrace her steps and bumped into a solid wall of man.

"What are you doing?" Garrett's voice sounded husky in her ear as his hands gripped her arms.

"Are you insane? I almost shot you," Aundy hissed, dropping her arm away from Garrett. If she hadn't been careful like he taught her, he'd be lying on the ground with a bullet in his chest. The thought of that made her lightheaded and woozy.

When she swayed on her feet, Garrett put his arm around her waist and pulled her against his side, hurrying up the steps and inside the kitchen.

Seating her at the table, he lit a lamp and studied her pale face.

"What do you mean almost shot me?" he asked, looking for evidence of Erik's pistol.

Aundy held out her hand, showing him the small pocket revolver resting on her palm.

"Where did you get that?" Garrett picked up the gun and looked it over.

"I bought it. It makes me feel safer when I go to town." Stubbornly, Aundy set her chin, daring him to tell her she shouldn't carry it.

"Okay." Carefully, Garrett placed the gun on the table, pointed away from them both, before removing his hat. "That's a sound reason."

"What are you doing here?" Aundy stared at Garrett as he sank down beside her and ran a hand through his hair. She clasped her hands tightly in her lap to keep her own fingers from following the trails his made. It was just wrong for a man to have such thick, lush hair and not even know what a temptation it was to women.

"I wanted to make sure you were well, that nothing else had happened." Garrett leaned back in the chair and drummed his fingers on the table. "I stepped onto the front porch when the lights went off in the front room and then the kitchen lights. I worried someone might be in here with you and was going to run around to the kitchen door when I tripped over that pot of flowers you have by the chairs out front. Your posies might not look too good in the morning."

Aundy took his nervous hand in hers and squeezed his fingers. "As you can see, I'm fine. Nothing happened today. I went for a ride this afternoon and visited with Nik then rode out to the creek. It was so peaceful."

"It is peaceful there, and such a nice day for a ride." He wanted to get away earlier to check on her, but one thing or another had delayed him all afternoon. Garrett hoped she'd stay at Nash's Folly after church, but wasn't surprised when she insisted on going home.

Still dressed in her riding skirt, Aundy patted her pocket, recalling the rocks she plucked from the creek bed. She fished them out and placed them in Garrett's hand.

For a moment, he studied the rocks then dropped them back in her hand, closing her fingers around them. "Those are interesting rocks. You find those in the creek?"

"Yes." Aundy took a small glass bowl from a shelf and put the rocks inside before setting it on the table. "I thought they were pretty."

"That they are." Garrett pulled Aundy onto his lap and into his arms. "Not near as pretty as you, though."

Laughing, Aundy pushed back just enough from Garrett she could see his face. "You clearly have a problem with your vision, Mr. Nash."

"I don't think so." Garrett lowered his head to hers. The demanding clash of their lips caused heat to swirl in his belly. He wanted Aundy. Wanted to spend his life with her, more than he'd wanted anything before.

Consumed.

He was utterly consumed with the woman, and he didn't care if everyone knew it. He loved her with an intensity he'd never imagined feeling.

She was his Viking queen. Strong, independent, and confident with that head of golden hair she so often wore braided into a crown, sky blue eyes, and striking appearance. She had roamed into his life and conquered him completely. It took no time at all for her to pillage his heart, plunder his soul, and lay siege to his mind so his thoughts continually turned to her.

The whisper of his name, as she opened herself to him, made Garrett fight to keep his control.

Moaning, he grasped her face in his hands and deepened the kiss. Aundy held tight to him, her hands clinging to his shoulders. This was the reason he'd been born — to hold this woman in his arms and love her with everything he had.

Suddenly, she trembled and jerked back.

"What's wrong?" he asked quietly. Moving his hand, he grasped her chin and lifted it, forcing her to meet his gaze.

"I can't… I promised… I…" Aundy would have turned her face from him, but Garrett held her chin firmly, but gently, keeping her from moving away. She loved him so much an ache beyond any pain she'd ever experienced tightened her chest. It was because she loved him she had to stop what was between them.

"What did you promise?"

"I promised myself I wouldn't get involved with another man. It ends so badly when I do and I care for you far too much to hurt you," Aundy admitted, although it aggrieved her to do so.

Why couldn't Garrett just leave her alone? Why did he have to look at her until her heart thundered in her chest? Why did he have to tease her and protect her and make her feel beautiful?

Garrett had become an integral part of her life and captured her heart, although she couldn't name the specific moment it had happened. Now, she had to push him away. It was the only way to keep him safe, especially with someone after her sheep and out to get her.

"You're not making sense. How could you possibly hurt me?" Garrett asked, confused. He drew back, but didn't let go. "You don't honestly blame yourself for what happened to Erik, do you?"

Instead of answering, Aundy stood and walked to the kitchen window, watching moonlight illuminate the yard. Garrett stepped behind her and placed his hands on her waist, drawing her against him, into his strength. She was coming to depend on it all too much.

"Aundy, you had nothing to do with Erik's death. Not a thing. Maybe the horses would have bolted another day or something else would have happened. It wasn't anything you did."

"Just being with me seems to be enough to drive men to their deaths." Aundy wrapped her arms around herself. She needed to muster her defenses and keep away from Garrett. It was the only way for her to protect him.

"That's ridiculous. One freak accident doesn't mean anything."

"It happened to my fiancé and my father, too." She brushed at the tears threatening to roll down her cheeks. "Gunther and I had plans to wed and he died alongside my father in a terrible accident that should never have happened."

"For a smart girl with a lot of common sense, you aren't making any." Garrett ran a hand through his hair in frustration. When he considered the fact just moments earlier she'd been every bit as involved in whatever it was that sizzled between them, he didn't know how she could try to push him away now. "Aundy, what are you afraid of?"

"That something will happen to you, too." Her voice was so quiet, Garrett had to strain to hear what she said.

"Nothing is going to happen to me, unless God decides it's my time to be called home to glory. You have no control over that, Aundy." He turned her around so she could see his face. "I'm pleased to know you care about me enough to want to protect me, but I think you're worried for no reason."

"I mean it, Garrett. I just can't get involved with you. I can't. I…"

"You what?"

Aundy shook her head and swiped at the tears that spilled from her eyes. Garrett tried to hug her, but she pushed at his chest until he let her go.

"Please, Garrett, I think it's best you leave now."

"Fine, but let me give you one thing to mull over while I'm leaving you alone." Garrett caught her roughly to him, kissing her like he'd never have the opportunity to do it again. Her arms wound around his neck as he held her close. She returned every ounce of the yearning and hunger he poured out to her.

Abruptly letting her go, he grabbed his hat and gave her one last, longing look. "I meant what I said last night. Anytime you need me, I'll be here."

When he slammed the door on his way out, Aundy was sure Dent and the boys could hear it at the bunkhouse.

Aundy leaned against the counter, uncertain her legs could hold her without support. Not when she watched every dream she'd ever had for a happy ever after walk out the door.

Forcing herself to stay away from Garrett was going to be the hardest thing she'd ever done, especially when her heart kept whispering he was the one she would love for a lifetime.