Chapter 13

13

L orinda didn't know what to expect after her announcement, but somehow everything felt off kilter. Franklin just stood there after he suggested the time for the wedding. At first, a slight smile barely tilted the sides of his mouth. She took a deep breath and slowly let it out. He really wasn't looking at her, but something must be making him happy.

Then like a curtain falling across the window blocking out the sunlight, a confused expression descended over his face. She glanced around, wondering what she should do now. Leave the room? Or stay? She clasped her hands in front of her waist and realized she still wore the thin gold band Mike had placed on her finger at their wedding. As unobtrusively as possible, she slipped it off and slid it into the pocket sewn into the side seam of her skirt. When she got back to her bedchamber, she'd find a safe place to put it. For a moment, she felt as if she had torn her heart from its moorings inside her chest. The ache was real as it took her breath away. Michael would still keep her tied to her first husband, but soon her second husband would become his father...and her a wife in name only.

She sensed, rather than saw, Franklin turn toward her.

He clasped her free hand. "Let's go share our good news with Mrs. Oleson."

Lorinda almost missed the words. Franklin had never touched her since she'd recovered from having her son, except for inadvertent brushing of fingers when they passed Michael from one to the other. The newness of the strong connection of his touch raised all kinds of questions inside her. Questions she didn't want to consider. But she couldn't prevent the shiver that skittered up her stiff spine. She felt as if her body were betraying her husband's memory. But that would soon change. She'd have a new husband...and yet not really. A sigh escaped, and she trembled even more.

"Are you too cool in here?" More than friendly concern accompanied his words, but she didn't know what.

"No...I'm fine." She barely forced the words through her tense lips.

He accompanied her out the door and down the short hallway. Mrs. Oleson, who was busy working on cleaning up the kitchen, turned to glance at them. Then her gaze dropped to their clasped hands. A question quirked one eyebrow.

Lorinda peeked up at the tall rancher just as he gazed down at her. A broad smile lit his face like a lantern and twinkled in his eyes. She'd never seen him smile like that before. The sight stole her voice.

Mrs. Oleson rested her closed hands on her hips. "Is everything all right?"

Franklin escorted Lorinda into the warmly-lit kitchen. "Yes...we have something to tell you."

The older woman pulled out a chair and sighed as she dropped into it. "I hope it's good news."

At her comment, Lorinda realized she was probably frowning while Franklin smiled.

He looked down at her once again. "I think so, don't you, Lorinda?"

She nodded with as warm a smile as she could manage. She expected him to go ahead and tell Mrs. Oleson what had happened, but after the silence lengthened uncomfortably, Lorinda cleared her throat and blurted, "Franklin asked me…to become his wife."

"That's wonderful!" Mrs. Oleson jumped up with amazing energy for a woman her age. "I'm so glad you'll..." She paused and gave Lorinda an intense stare. "Did you accept his proposal?"

Lorinda nodded, and the smile returned to her older friend's face.

"I didn't want you to leave. And we've all come to love your little one. Now we'll all be a happy family."

Mrs. Oleson didn't seem to expect an answer, and Lorinda was glad. She wasn't so sure about the "happy" part. Franklin would be, and Mrs. Oleson. Probably even Michael. But Lorinda wasn't expecting a happy life. Security for herself and her son, yes...also, protection. Wasn't that more important than her own happiness?

"Well now, we need to celebrate. Sit down and have another cup of coffee and some of that chocolate cake from yesterday." Mrs. Oleson bustled about getting the food on the table while she plied them with questions.

When Lorinda hesitated, Franklin started answering them. She followed bits and pieces of the conversation. "September...wedding...dress..." other details she didn't catch.

Was she being a fraud, because she wasn't looking forward to a real marriage? Was what they were doing lying? Wasn't lying a sin?

The only book Lorinda had during the long winter alone in the cabin was her mother's Bible. She'd always kept it near her, because it was the only possession she owned that belonged to her mother. She longed for the peace Jesus brought to the lives of other people in the book. So she'd knelt beside the bed she and Mike had shared and told Jesus she wanted Him in her life. Somehow she knew a peace and assurance that things would be all right. She still had a relationship with the Lord, but she doubted that everything would be completely right for her ever again.

Never having been around other church people until coming here to live, she wasn't exactly sure what all would be considered a sin. She knew that bearing false witness was lying and a sin. But could living the way Franklin wanted be considered lying? She was going to have to spend a lot of time with the Lord until He could help her understand. He'd given her a peace about accepting Franklin's proposal. Surely, He could help her find the answers to this dilemma.

"Isn't that right, Lorinda?"

She blinked, wondering what Franklin was asking her. "I'm sorry. I was distracted."

"I was just telling Mrs. Oleson we know that our friends at church would want to be a part of our wedding celebration." He shot an indulgent smile her way.

Where was that coming from? He almost looked as if he actually cared for her. Too bad it wasn't true.

"Yes, I know they will. After all, they've been so helpful to me ever since I came to live with you." But would they want to if they knew it was just a sham marriage? Her heart lurched within her chest, fearing she would never know love again. She hoped her son's love would be enough to last a lifetime.

"Franklin... " Mrs. Oleson's brows drew together as if she were entertaining deep thoughts. "I'm not sure why you're waiting until September to get married. It's not unusual for a man or woman who has been widowed to marry quickly. Besides, it's been plenty long since Mike's death. Why wait?"

Deep red seeped up from Franklin's collar, almost reaching his strong chin. Lorinda wondered why. Did he feel as flustered as she did?

He rubbed the back of his neck. "I thought...women needed time to plan...all those things a woman does for her wedding. Miriam did–" He stopped speaking, and his Adam's apple bobbed convulsively.

Who is Miriam? Lorinda had never heard anyone mention her before. She didn't know if she should ask or not. The air in the room filled with tension, and she didn't know why.

Mrs. Oleson shook her head, surprise gleaming from her eyes. "This is a totally different situation."

Franklin shoved his hands into the back pockets of his denim trousers. "You're right. We don't really have to wait. Maybe getting married soon would be much better."

"What do you think, Lorinda?" Mrs. Oleson rose and stood beside her. "We could put together a nice wedding in a week or two."

A week or two? Suddenly, that was far too soon. The muscles in her stomach tightened, and the meal she had eaten began to jump around as if it might try to escape. She crossed her arms over her abdomen, trying to settle everything. Lorinda could not disagree without having to tell her friend why.

"We could get married in July." She didn't know where that idea came from. "I would like to do that." This time her voice sounded more forceful.

Franklin glanced toward the calendar on the wall. Lorinda wondered if he was looking at the portrait of the pretty woman at the top or at the months below. What a silly thing to think about when my life is hanging in the balance .

"You should have the ceremony after the church service on a Sunday. That way anyone who wants to can stay for the festivities, and they wouldn't need to make another trip into town for the wedding." Mrs. Oleson gave a satisfied smile. "People are very busy in the summer...with their cattle and crops and all."

Franklin tapped his finger on the months lined up below the picture, stopping on July. "There are five Sundays in July. Should we have the wedding on the 8 th or 15 th ?"

Lorinda shrugged. Everything was moving too fast. Even the 22 nd seemed far too soon. But if the wedding was going to happen, they might as well go ahead and have it as soon as possible. The dreading, or the anticipation, would then be over, and life could return to normal...or as normal as it would ever be again. Whatever that would look like after the wedding.

"Let's do it on the 15 th . That's plenty of time to put together a really nice wedding." Mrs. Oleson started gathering the dishes from the table. "Who knows. Maybe you'll have a little brother or sister for Michael before long."

Red rushed up under Franklin's tan all the way to his hairline. At the same time, Lorinda felt the heat build in her own cheeks. A little brother or sister? Not even a possibility.

Franklin was amazed at the way Mrs. Oleson gathered all the women together and started planning the wedding. Every time he came home, someone else was in the parlor with Lorinda and Mrs. Oleson. Today was no exception.

"We really need to decide on what you will wear, Dear." His housekeeper patted his intended bride on her knee.

Lorinda hadn't seemed like herself since Tuesday when she finally agreed to become his wife. He could tell something was wrong. He wished he knew what. Like any man, he'd do anything he could to make her comfortable and happy. He wasn't used to this feeling of helplessness that consumed him whenever he entered his own home.

"Can you tell us what your favorite color is, Lorinda?" Pastor Nelson's wife, Mary, smiled at his intended.

He knew he was an intruder, sitting there on the porch listening to the conversation inside, glad he had a good line of sight to what was happening. He wanted to see if he could find out what was affecting Lorinda. Maybe in the conversation between the women, she'd let a hint slip out. He just didn't know how to go about it any other way.

"I like lots of colors." Lorinda's voice didn't carry quite as well as the others. He had to strain to hear her. "Maybe I should wear blue."

He could picture her in a soft blue dress that would match the color of her eyes, with her blonde curls shining in the sunlight. She was a real beauty. At first after she came to stay with them, she kept that hidden. But as she felt more comfortable, she relaxed and revealed her inner and her outer beauty.

"I'm so glad the Fuller sisters came to town last year to open their side-by-side businesses. Millie is such a good seamstress." Mary Nelson took a handkerchief from her handbag and dabbed at the moisture on her forehead. July was really hot this year. "I heard she received a new shipment of watered silk last week. Perhaps we should take you into town, Lorinda, so you could pick out what fabric you like from her stock."

"Oh, I couldn't do that."

Mrs. Oleson nodded emphatically. "Of course, you can."

Maybe that's what was bothering Lorinda. She didn't have enough money to pay for her trousseau. Franklin stood and ambled toward the front door, making plenty of noise so the women would know he was coming.

The voices stilled as he opened the front screen door and let it fall shut behind him.

He stopped in the doorway to the parlor. "Mrs. Oleson, could I have a word with you in my study?"

"Of course." She quickly arose and followed him.

The two women left in the parlor started talking softly, but he couldn't understand a word they said.

"What can I do for you, Franklin?" His housekeeper waited for him to speak.

"I have to make a confession. I was on the porch and heard some of your conversation."

Her eyebrows rose before she gave a slight nod.

"I want to give you enough money to pay for Lorinda's dress...and maybe one of those hats the women like to wear. But I'm not sure I want my bride in one as elaborate as some of the women wear to church."

She chuckled. "I'm sure you don't. I know Flora could make a very becoming bonnet that won't overpower Lorinda's beauty."

He joined her laughter. "Wouldn't want that. Now how much do you think you need? And be generous about it."

"I don't want you to do this."

Mrs. Oleson had never countermanded any of the things he asked before.

"Why not? Lorinda deserves a lovely wedding day."

"Of course, she does." His longtime friend rubbed her hands down her skirt, as if her palms were perspiring.

He'd never seen her do that before. Something must be bothering her as well.

"Lorinda feels like the daughter I never had, Franklin. I want to buy her dress and hat. It will give me great pleasure to make her lovely for your wedding." A smile spread across her face, lighting up the room.

"I can understand that. I'll give you that privilege." He put his arm around her shoulders. "We'll want you to fill a void in Michael's life...as his grandmother."

Tears glistened in her eyes. "I will love that. He already feels like my grandchild."

Franklin watched her walk back toward the parlor, and an idea slipped into his mind. Mrs. Oleson was going to outfit Lorinda for the wedding, but he wanted to have a part in the wedding, too. Tomorrow, he would go into town and visit all three jewelry stores. He wanted something special to give her, besides his mother's pearls.

Excitement and anticipation filled him. More than anything had since Miriam had broken his heart. Funny how he could think about his old fiancée's name now without the deep hurt crashing through him.

When had his pain started to ease?