Chapter 11

11

K atie could have ridden far longer, but she was thankful for the time Josiah had taken to show her around.

"Just through the trees, you'll see your parents' new home." Josiah pointed ahead as he drew up beside her.

The orchard opened to a clapboard house nestled in the arms of two massive oak trees on the edge of a field. A gorgeous sight.

And… Who was that person stepping from the house? As recognition took hold, Katie squealed in delight. In seconds, she was off the horse and into the arms of her sister Amelia. She soaked up the familiar scent of her sister, hugging her as if they'd been apart for years.

The door of the two-story building opened, and the rest of her family poured out. They flocked around her like chickens at the sight of grain. She picked up Gracie and twirled her youngest sister in a circle, relishing the giggle that filled the air.

She caught the gaze of her husband as she lowered Gracie to the ground. He was still astride his horse. His eyes held a wistful, haunted look. One that twisted in her chest.

Then he seemed to come out of whatever emotions had held him. "I'll look after the horses." He swung down and grabbed the reins of Ella, who chomped on a clump of fresh green grass. "Let your parents show you around their new house, and I'll be back to walk you home. Our place is just over the knoll. You'll be happy to know it's within short walking distance."

So close. A leap of something akin to joy shot through her. She smiled to thank him, but he had already turned to go.

Gracie pulled at her hand. "Come see. We don't have a ladder to our loft. We have real stairs."

"It's not a loft, silly," Lucinda jumped in. "They're real bedrooms."

Ma's face beamed. "Oh, Katherine, this is so much more than Pa or I ever expected."

Amelia threw her arm around Katie's shoulders, and they walked in together. "We even have a parlor to entertain." She giggled. "Imagine that. And the best part is we're close enough to visit each other."

The outside had hinted at the transformation from poverty to comfort, but the inside confirmed it.

Ma bubbled over the new cook stove in the kitchen, the seating in the parlor, and the privacy she and Pa would now have. Upstairs, the girls ran from room to room, laughing and giggling.

"Take a look. We can see your house from up here." Ma spoke above the noise of the girls and waved Katie over to a window.

A pang of guilt pierced Katie's heart as she looked over the knoll and spotted her stately home. Yesterday, she had not lived up to her end of the bargain, and yet Josiah had done his part. Just the thought of a man's kiss or hands on her body, after what happened in the woods, made a tide of goosebumps wash up her arm to the nape of her neck. How would she ever find the courage?

Ma's voice cracked, and tears glistened in her eyes. "I don't know how to tell you how much this means to Pa, your sisters, and me." She raised a hand and smoothed it down Katie's cheek.

Katie couldn't keep from stiffening. Ma had displayed this kind of affection with the other girls, but rarely her. Her touch felt as foreign as Josiah's.

"Please be happy, Katherine," her mother whispered, her eyes pleading.

Katie turned toward the window, unable to answer. It was a little too late for Ma to worry about her happiness.

Ma sighed and pressed her hands together. "Tea. I can serve real tea with real sugar. Can you believe it?"

They all piled down the stairs into their new kitchen. Katie took a moment to soak in each face—all the happiness and delight. Ma and Pa gave each other a quick kiss. The glow on Ma's face was bright enough to light up the room.

Aunt May's story from the Bible of Daniel in the lion's den came to mind. She would need that kind of courage to follow through with her plan that evening. Right there in Ma's new kitchen, with her family gathered around, she prayed in silence. God, Daniel's God, will you help me? Will you give me courage to…well, you're God, so you know what I need to do.

"Ma says that we can't bother you up at the big house, but I miss you already." Lucinda threw her arms around Katie's neck.

Gracie chimed in, "Why do you have to live in another house? This house is sooooo big." She spread her chubby little arms wide. "We'll share with you and Mr. Richie."

Ma, Jeanette, and Amelia all chuckled.

"His name's not Mr. Richie," Lucinda corrected. "It's Mr. Rich Man, cause he's very, very rich."

A giggle slipped from Katie's lips. "Girls, his last name is Richardson, like your last name is Williams. His name has nothing to do with how rich he is. And I'm married now, Gracie. Mr. Richardson has a house of his own that he wants me to share with him. I promise I'll visit you lots, all right, sweetie?" She hugged them close, then distracted them with a tickle to the ribs. "Guess who's goin' get you?"

The game was on. Squealing in delight, they ran circles around her chair, begging for the big, bad bear to catch them.

"My goodness, the racket." Ma put her hands to her ears, but a smile split her face.

As Katie raced around the room after them, she grabbed Lucinda and threw her over her shoulder. She didn't hear Josiah and Pa enter the kitchen, but when she looked up to find them both watching her, she set Lucinda down with a plunk, which sent her sprawling.

"Ow." The girl rubbed her bottom as she scrambled to her feet.

Katie bent down. "Sorry, sweetie." She pulled her in to her side and hugged her tight. "The game is over for now," she whispered.

Tiny hands grasped the folds of her dress as they hid behind her skirt and peeked out at the stranger who had cut their fun short.

"Hope you two won." Josiah crouched down to their level.

Gracie stepped from behind Katie's skirt. "We playin' the big baaad bear game, and Lucinda gots caught but I didn't."

Lucinda ventured forward from the other side. "Do you want to play? I can tell you all the rules." Her eyes grew bright with excitement.

"Now, don't go bothering Mr. Richardson, girls." Ma waved the kids away.

Josiah stood. "I'd like to have at least one game. Don't want Katherine to have all the fun." He winked in her direction.

"Yes. Yes. Yes." The girls danced around them both.

"You're the big bad bear, then," Katie said.

"Last one caught is the winner." Lucinda ran behind Katie's skirt for protection, and Gracie scooted in too. Katie scooped them both up and ran from behind one chair to another, circling the table.

They narrowly escaped Josiah's grasp the first time, then his strong arms encircled them. He picked her and the little ones up with no more effort than if he'd hefted a sack of potatoes.

Gracie and Lucinda squealed in delight.

He walked to the nearest chair and sat with all of them on his lap. "I think I won."

The household erupted in laughter, and Katie jumped up with the girls still clinging to her. She set them down and smoothed wrinkles from her dress, even as her cheeks burned hot. Sitting on his lap in front of the whole family was far too intimate. "I'll help Ma make the tea."

"Why, that Mr. Richardson is a strong one," Ma whispered in her ear as they busied themselves in the kitchen. "And the girls have taken to him like butter to bread."

Katie turned to find one on each of his knees.

He looked up in amusement, then bent toward the girls and murmured, "Isn't your sister…?" She didn't hear the last part, but they looked at Katie and giggled.

How easily they climbed up on his lap. Laughed. Trusted.

Not her. She was a mess. So damaged. And he had no idea.

That evening, Katie lifted her napkin to the corners of her mouth and dabbed, hoping to project a confidence she did not feel. "Delilah, your cooking is absolutely delicious."

Delilah laughed. "To celebrate your wedding, I put a little effort into making it special. But you barely ate."

She didn't want to hurt Delilah's feelings, but her stomach churned at the thought of what lay beyond this celebratory meal. She couldn't fake another bite. "So many wonderful flavors."

"This past summer, we grew some right fine herbs."

Katie let out the air she'd been holding. At least she'd diverted the conversation away from her.

"And we didn't have those Yankee boys trampling them with their horses. I do declare, to see my garden treated so, well it purt nigh killed me. Abe and I appreciate what those men did in freeing our people, but land sakes they had no respect a‘tall."

"Don't be getting all wound up now," Abe said. "This here's a celebration supper. We don't need no war talk to ruin it."

Josiah grinned and leaned in to Katie. "Those two really do love each other."

"What you be whispering about? Don't be filling her purty head with stories, lessen they be good ones."

"Now, Delilah, would I tell any other kind?"

"By Jupiter, yes. You say most anything to get a laugh." She waved her hand in his direction.

"Time for a toast." Abe raised his glass. "This here's one of the happiest times I remember in way too long. Josiah, we're as happy for you as a piglet in the mud hole."

"Tis true, tis true." Delilah clinked her glass against Abe's, then they both held theirs out to the couple.

Josiah cleared his throat. "To my beautiful wife, Katherine, who has made me happier than she could imagine."

Katie gathered the courage to look full in his face. His eyes flicked over her, then lifted to meet her gaze. She wanted to look away, but she couldn't give in to the coward in her. She forced a smile and raised her glass to meet his. "To us." The room went so quiet, she was sure she could hear the beat of her own heart.

His eyes changed from blue-gray to almost black. She had noticed that look in many a man as they stared at her. Didn't matter where she went or what she wore, the message was always the same. A ripple of fear sliced through and her stomach lurched. Daniel had no doubt been smarter and hadn't forced a meal before the lion's den.

"You two go sit in the parlor," Delilah said, waving her hand. "Abe can help me with the cleanup."

Josiah rose and extended his hand. "Shall we?"

Katie placed her hand in his and shivered against her will. They walked into the adjoining room, then sat on the settee in front of a roaring fire. He never let go of her hand. His eyes held her like a soft caress. She tried to hold his gaze but could not, instead turning toward the fire. His intensity unnerved her.

He began a gentle rub on the inside of her wrist with his thumb. Like the crackle and pop of the fire, her insides jumped. Even this simple touch unsettled her. She longed to give him something, anything, in return for all he had given her family, yet she couldn't find the courage to even look at him.

"Tell me?" she asked, pulling her hand free and turning to him.

"What?"

"How it is that we're practically strangers, yet you're so comfortable with me, as if you've known me for years?"

A long moment of silence followed as he studied her. His eyes didn't reveal his thoughts. "The war taught me to redeem the precious gift of time. Do I take from your question that you're not comfortable?"

"Do you realize you half answer my questions, then throw one back? Just like when I asked you why you wanted to marry me when you could have chosen anyone. You never did answer."

"Though you're very perceptive and intelligent, you may not be ready for the answer. How about we revisit both those questions when you can hold my hand without pulling free? Or allow me to kiss you without…" He leaned in close and wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

The heat of his breath fanned her cheeks as he bent his head. His nearness was overwhelming, and she squeezed her eyes shut. The minute his lips touched hers, a memory surged with a shudder. Other lips had pressed hers, forcing, smothering her breath.

She popped her eyes open to push the images away.

He pulled back, a sadness cloaking his eyes. "Without shaking."

"I'm sorry. I—" She struggled for presence of mind, struggled to pull herself from the grip of that haunting memory.

His mouth formed a sad smile. "Don't worry, sweet one. I was doing that to prove a point." He straightened. "How about we start with friendship? You tell me three things you like and three things you dislike, as long as none of them are me." His chuckle sounded forced, and his eyes held a guarded look she couldn't read.

"Then," he added, "I'll do the same."

Friendship. Surely, she could manage that. "I love horses?—"

"Nope, I already know that." He shifted to the other side of the settee, putting lots of room between them, then turned her way.

"All right then. I love all animals. The deer in the forest, my old cat you let me bring along, and everything in between. Except the skunk. I see no good reason for an animal that can make me stink to high heavens."

"This one I have to hear."

"You want the stories too?"

"Most definitely, Kat. Most definitely."

To Katie's surprise, their conversation flowed easily after that. She was surprised when he stood. One look at the dying embers in the fireplace showed how much time had passed, time during which she had fully relaxed.

He stretched. "As much as I've enjoyed this evening, sunrise comes mighty early. I'll be putting in a long day tomorrow. Your pa and I are going to plow the back field and get it ready for winter's fallow. Good night. Sweet dreams." He stepped near, but only dropped a light kiss on her forehead. "Most likely, I won't see you until the evening meal." He turned and walked away.

Katie sat without moving. God help me, help me fulfill my duty.

The embers died, and the room took on a chill. Yet still, she sat.