Chapter 5

"Officer Tape Measure is here again," Kailee says, hands on hips. She blows a loose tendril of hair back, and I strain to hear the words over the band warming up inside the arena. "Want me to offer him a free cookie and a blow job, or should I pay him off from the cash register?"

"None of the above. That's bribing an officer, and he's too much of a stick in the ass to accept any, as tempting as blowing the fine officer may be."

I walk to the truck window where, sure enough, Officer Lane stands in a white work shirt and tie, looking out of place among the country concert crowd. Thankfully, we're just finishing up for the evening, and my eyes dart across the area to make sure we don't have an audience. Being hassled by the police would only improve my business and garner sympathy, but I don't like the stares.

I paste a smile on my face, and it's not entirely fake. Somewhere, mostly in my panties, I'm happy to see him again. Hopefully, it won't cost me in fines. "Hi, Officer Lane," I coo, tilting my head and winking. I do a funny shoulder shimmy and bite my lip. If he's going to harass me, he can deal with my sarcastic flirtation while he does it. "Cookie?" I ask, holding out a tray of wrapped and labeled chocolate fudge cookies.

"Step out of the vehicle."

I sigh and get out my own tape measure I put in the truck after the last run-in with him. "The sign is perfect now," I say, measuring from the window frame to the transportation permit and clicking the tape measure shut. "Eleven inches. Perfect size. Wouldn't you agree, Officer Lane? You really educated me last time. I love those eleven inches. Much more pleasant."

He clears his throat, and I wish I could read his eyes, but he has those damn aviators on again. "That's not the problem this time," he smirks, getting his own damn tape measure out and clicking the button. "Step out of the vehicle."

"Only if you tell me what this is about, Officer Lane."

"You're on public land."

"Bullshit. I'm on Buddy Wilken's patch of grass, and I have permission."

He crooks his finger in a come here motion, and I lean out the window to look where he points. "Missouri law is clear when it says private property only. Private property cannot include sidewalks, parking lots, or other walkways. Your wheel is half an inch on the walkway. Step out of the vehicle."

"You have to be fucking kidding me."

He rips his aviators off his face so fast that one of the arms nicks his nose, and he boyishly crinkles his eyes in annoyance. "Ms. Rogers, I asked you to step out of the vehicle. Am I going to need to come up there?"

"You need a warrant for that."

"Do you think I won't call in a request for one?"

"Once again, Officer Lane, the stupidity of worrying about my half an inch of wheel while meth dealers are currently buying forty packs of cough medicine and kitty litter at the local box store truly amazes me."

He walks to the back of the truck, and I lean out the window to see where he's going. It's only when he turns around to look at me again and his mouth drops open that I realize one of my boobs has fallen out of my t-shirt when I bent out the window. Sure, I have my bra on, but my loose V-neck t-shirt flops forward, showing the good officer my entire lace-covered tit.

He inhales sharply and closes his mouth as I try to stuff my boob back into my shirt. We're quiet for a moment as we stare each other down. "Open your back door for me," he finally says, his voice husky.

"Want me to open your back door for him, Lorelei?" Kailee snickers from the back of the truck. "I can pull it open for him real good." She bends forward and holds her stomach, squatting a little at the hilarity of juvenile back door jokes. Kailee has a history of peeing her pants when something is really funny. I don't really want a puddle right now, but the ass jokes are too much to turn down.

"No!" I say, jabbing my finger in the air. "If Officer Lane is going in my back door, he's going to have to force it open, and if he doesn't have permission to go in my back door, I'll have his back door."

"Good one," Kailee whispers from the floor.

The knob for the door rattles, and I stomp back to the window, leaning out and not caring that my boob falls out again. In fact, it feels nice like that in the warm breeze. "Officer Lane!" I yell.

His head appears from around back, only to duck behind the truck again. "Can you put your boob away, Ms. Rogers?"

"Does it bother you?"

"Open the door and step out."

"Not getting in my back door today, Officer Lane, and if you don't like my boob, don't make me lean out of the window and yell at you."

He steps from around the truck and flexes his jaw. "Are you gritting your teeth at me?" I taunt.

"No," he scoffs a little, and spit comes out of his mouth.

"Because you seem flustered." I move my shoulder a little so my boob sways below me. "Do you think I'm frustrating?"

Bingo. I can see him gulp from here, and he averts his eyes from my boob as he takes two deep breaths. He removes his phone from his black pants and presses a few buttons. "Yeah, this is Officer Lane, I'd like to call in a warrant."

"For fuck's sake," I grumble, taking off my apron, slamming it onto the counter, and stomping to the back of the truck.

"Don't do it," Kailee whispers, blocking the door. "He said he'd take you in next time."

I wrestle with her as she tries to block the door, her eyes wide, and her laughter from moments ago has turned to full-blown fear.

"It'll be better if I just get this over with instead of the swat team showing up for a half an inch of tire. You may get taken in too, and I need you to close up and drive home. I need you to just take the van home. Please, Kailee."

I push past her and open the door to find Officer Lane waiting, hands on hips. "No need for a warrant. See, I opened my back door for you."

He hangs up the phone, and I tilt my head, wondering if he was really calling in a warrant or some random fake number just to get me out of the truck. I fell for it. He smiles a little, like he thinks he got one up on me. "What's my fine?" I ask.

"Second offense is processed at the station," he says, turning me with his strong hands and pushing me up against the truck. The surprise of it shocks me, and my legs tremble.

Too bad I'm not sure if my legs are trembling because I'm in trouble with the police for the first time in my life or because Officer Lane's hands are traveling up my leg, checking me for weapons. "I'd like a female officer to do that," I say.

"Not something we allow unless a female is already present or there's a need for strip search."

"Do I need a strip search?" I ask, my voice trembling in fear for the first time. His hands stop over my jeans pockets, and my stomach roils with the knowledge he's bent behind me. His face is inches from my ass.

He clears his throat. "This will be enough. I don't think you're carrying weapons or drugs on your person. You're just selling poison from your death van."

"Fuck!" Kailee yells from the window. "Don't worry, Lorelei, I'm recording this," she says. Her phone is held in front of her. "He's manhandling a model citizen."

"Thanks, Kailee," I mumble as I shiver from Officer Lane's hands around my waist. Fuck, his hands are masculine and practically circle my waist as he places them on both sides of my waistband.

"Officer Half Inch won't get away with this!" Kailee yells from the window.

His hands stop moving. "Half inch?"

I snort, and he turns me around to put cuffs on me. Our eyes meet, and his chest stops moving for a few seconds as we stare at each other. His hands fumble with the cuffs, and I hum a little. He should be a pro at this, but he fumbles with my hands like it's his first time.

I need to break the silence. "You earned that nickname, Officer Half Inch. I'm afraid it's what I'll call you from now on."

He blows out a sigh and grits his teeth. "Let's go," he says, leading me to a black sedan parked nearby.

I look back at Kailee and thank the universe that she's still recording. Something tells me I'll want a copy of this for court…or posterity.