Chapter 28

Ishould replace this soil. A quick look at the browning marijuana leaves around me shows that I've been remiss in caring for my plants for the past week, maybe longer. I just didn't feel like doing anything, even canceling a truck event Wednesday night because I didn't have the motivation to bake. I came straight home from visiting Liam in the hospital and bundled myself into a wearable blanket where I stayed for a few days, watching Dirty Dancing on loop and eating frozen pizza. Today is the first day I've washed my hair and come outside to look at the world. A girl's got to make a living after all, even if the man she grew attached to isn't talking to her.

I woke up today, brushed my teeth, and told Bogey that we've wallowed over Liam Lane enough.

I run my hands down Bogey's fur, talking to him and whispering that I'm sorry he fell in love with the guy, too. He rolls onto his back, the warm sunshine of the mini greenhouse probably warming his belly, and I chuckle as I scratch the spot on his belly that makes him kick his hind leg. I sing to him, humming in parts like I've done since I first got him at eight weeks old.

"You'll spoil him," a voice says at the greenhouse entrance, startling me so that I jump.

I know that voice, and I gasp. Whipping around, I squint as the sun blinds me. When my eyes adjust, he's there. Liam – in all his Liamness.

Bruises still dot his face, but they're yellow now and not the violent purple and blue of last week. His stance is stiff, as if he's still bothered by injuries, and he's wearing a neck brace.

He's also holding a bouquet of pink peonies.

"I thought they only gave out neck braces for whiplash," I mumble, not sure what to say or how to greet him. Do I hug him? Kick him out again? Let him talk first to tell me why he's standing in my greenhouse?

"Apparently, they also give them out to help you hold your neck up if it's weak from being strangled." He points over his shoulder. "I knocked and then heard singing. Anyone ever tell you that you have a decent voice?"

Bogey wags his tail and goes right to Liam. Getting on his hind legs, Bogey whines until Liam bends down and gives my dog the puppy hug he expects whenever he sees Liam now. I guess my dog forgives him if nothing else.

"Sorry about it being so loud last time I was here, buddy," Liam says as he rubs Bogey's ears.

"Are you sorry?" I ask. I tilt my head and squint. "Is that why you're here?"

"I, uh, went to the flower shop and asked the lady for the best flowers to apologize with. She said peonies are traditionally used after something shameful happens. I guess that fits."

I walk toward him, careful not to touch him or look directly into his eyes. I don't need to be sucked back into the Liam Lane beautiful eye vortex that will only lead to spreading my legs if he's amenable. "I'll just put these in water. Thank you."

I walk to the kitchen and feel him follow me, Bogey bounding around his feet so that Liam has to stop every few feet so he doesn't trip.

I grab a vase from above the fridge and fill it with water. As I shut off the tap, a hand covers mine, and the warmth of him burns me. He's close. Damn close. "Will you please talk to me?"

"Like you've talked to me?"

He chuckles. "In fairness, I couldn't talk to you the last time I saw you. God damn me, I wanted to, though."

I redden, realizing what I said. "I didn't mean the hospital. You could have talked to me before instead of yelling at me."

"I thought I'd get through the bust and then have time to come over and apologize. I didn't mean what I said. I'm so sorry, Lorelei. I was going to come straight over here on Saturday morning, but the bust went wrong. I'm about a week too late, but I hope you'll let me apologize now."

I move away from him and lean back on the kitchen counter, blowing out a breath. My eyes move to the counter across from me, and I wonder if he thinks about the night we used that counter. I can't even work at the counter without thinking of what he did to me there.

"I should have asked you before I took brownies to your mom."

"Yeah, you should have. But I shouldn't have blown up like that. I shouldn't have…" His voice trails off, and he crosses his arms and leans back against the counter next to me, both of us staring straight ahead.

"You shouldn't have what? Shouldn't have stormed in like Rambo and told me you were surprised Bogey made it out of puppyhood?"

"Yeah," he whispers. I can't tell if it's because he's ashamed of how he acted or if his voice is still weak.

"Are you OK?" I ask, my voice dropping to his level.

"I was shot twice, was impaled by some furniture, and was nearly strangled to death. My wounds are healing, nothing major was hit by the wood, and it hurts when I use my voice too much. I'm going to be OK, though." He turns to me, but I stay looking straight ahead. "I'll be better if the girl I have a massive crush on would forgive me for being an asshole."

"Anyone I know?"

He reaches out and moves a strand of hair away from my face. "You know you're the girl I have a massive crush on. I've had a crush on you since I saw you. I didn't know how to deal with that, Lorelei. Looking back, I know fining you and taking you in was some kind of juvenile way to talk to you without having to do the work of actually talking to you like an adult. I was afraid to fall for someone that does your job. But I did."

"You fell for me? You could have fooled me."

He furrows his brow, and I would slap his face if he didn't have so many injuries. "What are you talking about?" he asks, taking his hand away from my hair and putting his hands in his pockets. I hate them there. I want them on me, but I'm going to have a go at him first.

"I heard you, Liam. I heard you gasp in the hospital that it was over. You wanted me gone," I say. I pull my t-shirt over my lips so he can't see my bottom lip quiver.

"That's not what happened."

"Maybe you were so doped up on meds that you didn't understand what you were saying."

"I understood exactly what I was saying," he says, his voice squeaking on the last word.

"I heard you tell the nurse it was over."

He laughs. "Damn it, Lorelei!" he squeaks again, upsetting his voice further. It's still raw and weak, and it's obviously harder for him to talk when he gets upset. He pushes off the counter and gets in front of me. Too close. "I didn't say what we have is over. I tried to say, ‘I love her.' The nurse eventually figured it out and went out to find you, but you were already gone."

The world stops. The house goes silent. Even Bogey sits on his back legs and looks between Liam and me, trying to understand. He's not alone. I'd like to understand Liam's words because they don't make sense. None of this does. It doesn't make sense how I can fall in love with a cop that tried to ruin my business. It makes zero sense that the same cop is in love with me.

"You love me?"

"Do you know what my last thoughts were before I woke up in the hospital?"

I shake my head. Tears prick my eyes, and my body shakes. "Tell me."

He snakes his arm around my waist and steps into my space. "First, I was worried about Chase. I was worried we'd both die in that house. Then, I thought about how nice it would be to see Amanda again if there's an afterlife. After that, I worried about Mom. She doesn't have anyone to take care of her."

"I'd take care of her, Liam." I blurt out the words, interrupting him. Part of me doesn't want to learn what he thought about next. "Just know, that if you're in the same situation again, you don't have to worry about her. I'll make sure she gets good medical care, eats, and has plenty of books to read. I may not be you, but she will never be alone in this world. If you die on the job tomorrow, you can die knowing that."

He sniffs like his nose is runny, and he wipes it on the back of his sleeve. "Right before everything went black, I thought about you, Lorelei. I thought about how I was so sad that I'd never run my fingers through your hair again. I was sad I'd never hear you fight with me again, and that I wouldn't be able to kiss your freckles every night before bed for the rest of my life." He takes a deep breath and puts my hand over his chest. His heart pounds against my palm. "Because I really want to kiss those freckles for however long you'll find it in your heart to tolerate me."

I fist his t-shirt and bury my face in his familiar chest, sobbing and sniffing. I cry that we had to meet and dislike each other for weeks when we could have been crazy in love right from the start. I cry for him getting hurt and me not being the first person they called because I'm not his next of kin. I cry because I've never wanted to be someone's next of kin before, and I really want to be his.

I want him in every crevice of my life. My home. Part ownership of my dog. Definitely my body. I'll even let him hold the remote. He can have it all because he already has my heart.

"What do you want from this?"

He tilts my chin up with his index finger. "You. Just you, Lorelei."

"You have to let me have my job and not belittle me for it. It can't be an issue between us anymore, no matter how much you dislike it."

"Done."

"You can't handcuff me anymore."

"Are you sure we can't do that just for fun?" he says with a smirk.

I playfully nudge his good shoulder, and he pushes his forehead to mine, a serious look on his face. I close my eyes and enjoy the closeness. The feel of his skin against mine.

Back where he belongs.

"I want to know everything about you," he says, cupping my cheek. "I want to spend time with you. I'm off for a couple weeks to recover and go to mandated counseling. My days and nights are yours, Lorelei. I want to fall in love with you so deep, a backhoe won't dig me out."

"Is it going to drive you nuts being off that long?"

"It'll drive me more nuts when I go back and am on desk duty until all the investigations and psych analyzing is done."

"Is Chase on desk duty? I can't imagine he's happy with that."

"Chase is filling in for a school resource officer who's on medical leave for a few weeks. He insisted on doing something to keep his mind off things, and our boss thought it would be alright. It's not his dream job, but it'll keep him from riding a desk while the usual paperwork is pending. He's pretty broken up about seeing me like that and pulling the trigger on Lambert. Even though Lambert was scum, Chase still took his life. It's hard."

I nod. Even though they're both drug task force officers, I fell in love with one and owe the other one big time for saving my guy's life.

"Maybe you can help me bake while you recover."

"Now you're just pushing it, Ms. Rogers," he says. He smiles into my lips as he brings his gently to mine, his hands cupping my ass and pulling me to him until I have no choice but to wrap my legs around his waist and let him put me up on the counter as heat moves through my body.