7. Auslin

Chapter 7

Auslin

A fter leaving the library, Auslin started walking back to their bedroom.

It confused him when Kitsuki chuckled. "You are going the wrong way."

Auslin tilted his head in confusion. "But our room is over here," he said as he pointed down the hallway.

"It was," Kitsuki agreed before adding, "but there is a different entrance to it now."

Auslin felt a little sheepish as he belatedly realized that Kitsuki becoming king meant he would have a different bedroom. "Oh."

Kitsuki continued leading the way. "There have been several expansions to the castle, so I had a new suite built to expand our bedroom instead of staying in my father's suite."

"I could see where that would be awkward." Auslin would have felt uncomfortable being with Kitsuki in Tatsuki's old room. "It would be like he was watching us or something."

Kitsuki chuckled again. "Something like that."

Auslin hadn't expected to enter an open-air garden with a fountain in the center, surrounded by beautiful flowers of the likes he had never seen before. White pillars supported the roof, with sunlight coming through the hole in the ceiling. " Wow ." He gestured at the open skylight. "What do you do in the winter and when it rains?"

Kitsuki waved his hand, activating the magic that automatically closed the retractable roof. Auslin stared at it in wonder as Kitsuki once again gestured and the roof opened once more.

"That's so cool!" Auslin exclaimed in awe. "I've never seen anything like it in my life!"

Kitsuki smiled faintly as he looked over the beautiful garden. "Fersen outdid himself with this room."

"I'd say so."

Auslin wanted to continue exploring the marvelous space, but Kitsuki gestured for them to continue walking into the grand sitting room. Beautiful navy blue couches with silver piping stood in front of an ornately decorated white-and-silver marble fireplace. Bookshelves in the shape of dragons lined the walls. Auslin wanted to explore the books, but he restrained himself for the time being.

Kitsuki continued leading him into the bedroom, which was even larger than when they had originally shared it together. The room had a high stacked tray ceiling with crown moldings covered in dragon etches, which reminded him of the ones on Fate's Gate. The four jeweled dressers representing the dragons and seasons were enlarged so as not to look minuscule in the enormous room. There were also additional cabinets similarly decorated in mother-of-pearl and bejeweled representations of dragons at play to represent morning, afternoon, night, and gloaming.

The wall leading to the veranda was floor-to-ceiling windows, which overlooked the outdoor garden with a large pond. The grandeur of it all made Auslin's head spin.

Auslin thought their original bed had been huge, but the expanded bed could comfortably fit eight people with room to spare. A stunning silk duvet covered it, which featured a gorgeous blue-and-silver brocade. It looked like it cost more money than everything Auslin had ever owned in his life combined.

"Kitsuki, it's beautiful," Auslin said in awe as he continued looking around the space. "I can only imagine how incredible the bathroom is."

"You are free to explore." Kitsuki gestured to the door off to the side of the bed.

"Later," Auslin said, even though he was brimming with curiosity at what lay beyond.

An awkward silence fell between them. It was a reminder that Kitsuki had become unaccustomed to making small talk that had once been so easy for him in his youth. His face was inscrutable, reminding Auslin that the Kitsuki in front of him was a changed man from the Kitaro he had left behind less than a day ago. All his experience with Kitaro didn't give Auslin much insight into the shifter king. He tried not to fidget when Kitsuki continued to say nothing.

"Would you object if I changed after my travels?" Kitsuki asked after the silence prolonged for too long.

Although there wasn't so much as a hair out of place on Kitsuki, Auslin understood the need to switch into more comfortable clothing after a journey. "No, that's totally fine. Should I leave?"

"There is no need." Kitsuki used his magic to change his black traveling clothes into a clean pair of black breeches and a metallic silver shirt with bell sleeves.

In the transformation, Auslin briefly caught sight of Kitsuki's missing arm. He started to speak before thinking better of it.

"Do you have a question?" Kitsuki asked.

Auslin hesitated. He had always felt he could speak freely to Kitaro, but there were so many walls between himself and what he could talk about with Kitsuki. "Does it bother you?" Auslin finally forced himself to ask, flushing slightly in embarrassment over voicing such a question.

It seemed to take Kitsuki a moment to figure out what Auslin was asking. "If you are referring to my missing arm, I am used to it. There is no sense in concerning myself with what cannot be undone."

"But I could try to heal it," Auslin offered before worrying Kitsuki might get the wrong impression. "I know I can never make up for disappearing for so many centuries, but I could at least try to restore your arm."

"It is unnecessary," Kitsuki stated in a flat tone that made Auslin wonder if maybe he should drop the matter.

Looking down at the ground and clenching his hands into fists, Auslin struggled with how to express himself without causing offense to Kitsuki. "I've always admired how you're a better warrior with one arm than anyone else who has two arms. But I hate Mitsuki stole that from you," Auslin confessed, feeling a deep resentment toward Kitsuki's deceased eldest brother. "If I could undo his cruelty, maybe…"

When Auslin trailed off into silence, Kitsuki looked at him for a long moment. He finally said in a kinder tone, "It is best not to concern yourself with such things, Auslin. I have made my peace with it."

There was a stubborn set to Auslin's jaw. "You've seen me heal damage from Divine weapons before. You know I can do it."

"There is a vast difference between repairing what is already present and restoring what is missing." Kitsuki shook his head. "While I appreciate the offer, it is not worth disappointing yourself."

"I could at least try. You can even tell me ‘I told you so' if I fail." Auslin tried to think of another way to convince Kitsuki. "Think about how much it'll anger Mitsuki in the Beyond Realm when he finds out I healed what he did to you."

The corner of Kitsuki's mouth turned upward in a slight smile. "If defeating Mitsuki in such a way would bring you some solace, I will not stand in your way." Kitsuki used his magic to remove his shirt once more before sitting on the edge of his bed. "Please do not be disappointed with yourself when this does not work the way you wish."

"It'll work," Auslin swore, refusing to give up so easily to Mitsuki's cruelty. "I'm not letting that bastard win when you're a better man than he ever was."

Auslin sat down next to Kitsuki on the bed. He reached out but stopped just shy of touching him. While he had free rein to touch Kitaro, it felt inappropriate to be so informal with a king. "May I?"

"You may."

Having received permission, Auslin reached out with tentative fingers and followed the pattern on Kitsuki's right arm from his shoulder downward. His dark pewter markings were so different from the bright, shining silver they had been in his youth. Auslin's eyes strayed toward Kitsuki's broader shoulders and chest, which were more developed than they had been in the past. He hadn't thought it was possible for Kitaro to become more attractive, but Kitsuki proved him wrong.

When Kitsuki arched an eyebrow at him in silent questioning, Auslin flushed in embarrassment at realizing the shifter must have scented his arousal. Kitsuki at least spared his feelings by not commenting on it.

Auslin took the shifter's hand in his, marveling at how it was even bigger than it had been in the past. Kitsuki's larger frame made Auslin feel that much smaller next to him, but it also made him feel even safer. He knew Kitsuki would never let anything bad happen to him ever again.

"It's really not fair that you got more attractive," Auslin muttered, earning an amused noise from the shifter king. "You were already unfairly handsome in the past. But now?" Auslin scoffed.

Kitsuki studied him carefully. "You genuinely believe that," he said in a tone of voice that implied he almost didn't believe him.

"Of course I do. Look at you!"

"Interesting." There was a brightness in Kitsuki's eyes as his curiosity came to the forefront. "You actually found me attractive before you met me in the past?"

"Uh, yeah," Auslin said with a laugh. "I thought I was subtle about it, but I got yelled at for it a lot."

Kitsuki frowned. "Because Kio felt threatened by your interest in me?"

"Exactly." Auslin repeated his actions on Kitsuki's other arm, once again starting at his shoulder and working down his bicep. "He thought I was only nice to you because I wanted to be with you."

"Did you want to be with me?"

Auslin paused in his exploration to figure out how to express himself. "I wanted to be close to you. But every time I tried, I felt like I was hurting you, so I pulled back. I was never arrogant enough to believe a shifter king would have any kind of romantic interest in a puny human like me."

"Let alone the Ice King."

Auslin nodded. "You were too incredible to want to be with someone like me who debased himself with someone as awful as Kio."

"There is some irony in me wishing you would leave Kio because your situation reminded me of Vanra's miserable relationship with his companion." Kitsuki shook his head. "I wanted to hate you for being with my half brother, but I could not hate someone who so resembled my beloved Vanra."

"Can I ask a weird question?"

"You may ask me anything you wish."

Auslin hesitated. "Why do you always call Kio your half brother? All your siblings are half because they have different mothers, but you never refer to Kisano or Kizoshi as your half siblings. You didn't even call Mitsuki your half brother, and he was utterly repugnant."

"Largely because of Kio himself. He thought his humanness separated him from the rest of us, so he always insisted on the half label. When I had nothing but contempt for him, I had no problem using the distinction to distance myself from him further."

"That makes sense." Auslin bit his lower lip as he debated pushing his luck. "What did you think of me as Auslin?"

"I was drawn to you because of your resemblance to my Vanra, but I refused to disrespect you by making you his replacement. At the same time, I wanted to rescue you from Kio's abuse. Being near you soothed my centuries of hurt, but it also pained me at the same time. You stirred complicated feelings within me I did not always appreciate, leading me to be harsher to you than I should have been. For that, I apologize. Especially for our first encounter."

"You mean when you almost killed me?" Auslin asked with a grin.

Kitsuki's eyebrows furrowed. "Why is that such a source of amusement for you?"

"Because it's such a contrast to the friendship we built afterward."

"You looked at me without fear that night," Kitsuki said, studying Auslin carefully. "You should have begged for your life. But instead, you looked me deep in the eyes and asked if I was okay."

"Because you looked like you were in so much pain." Auslin brushed his thumb over the shifter markings on Kitsuki's shoulder.

Kitsuki looked down. "Because I was. To see someone who so resembled my Vanra with my disgusting excuse for a half brother was more pain than my heart could bear. And to be treated with kindness when I threatened you with death was so like my Vanra it broke me."

"And yet you protected me those two times when I was attacked while Kio was away."

"Because while you were not my Vanra, I could not bear to live in a world without you," Kitsuki softly confessed, placing his hand over Auslin's with a squeeze. "No matter how much it hurt, you were the first thing to give me hope I would someday see my Vanra again."

"And then I disappeared as Auslin, which must have hurt." Auslin regretted it even more now that he knew what the loss would have meant to Kitsuki.

"While I was grateful Sephen told me you had left Kio, I hated thinking of you traveling alone without me to protect you. When you were gone for so long, I feared the worst."

Auslin looked down in shame. "I'm so sorry."

Kitsuki tilted his chin up so their gazes could meet. "Do not be sorry. Your disappearance allowed me to meet Vanra. Despite the centuries of sorrow, I would not change a single thing because you are with me now, when it matters most."

Auslin threw his arms around Kitsuki's neck in a hug. "How do you not hate me for leaving you twice?"

"Because I would not have you at all if that had not happened." Kitsuki hugged Auslin back. "Do not regret what I am grateful for."

Auslin looked at Kitsuki in awe. "You're a better man than me. I would have become so bitter if I were you."

"Whenever it was almost too much to bear, Kizoshi would remind me of why I was still waiting. She always promised we would reunite, so I held that hope close to my heart."

His comment raised an interesting question. "Did she ever say anything about me as Auslin?"

"She told me to keep you safe at all costs. Those times I saved you in the forest were because she had hinted at where I needed to be. I am grateful she allowed me to protect you with her cryptic warnings."

"I'll have to thank her when I see her again. Especially for making sure Mitsuki is no longer around."

"He was a fool for starting a war when she was the War Power. She would never allow him to have his victory, so I do not profess to understand what he was thinking in challenging the griffin shifters to a battle he could never win without her help."

"He was always foolish that way. Does it make me a bad person I hope she made it hurt?" Auslin wasn't the type to hold a grudge normally, but he made an exception for Mitsuki.

"She made sure he met an inglorious end. I will spare you the gruesome details."

"Please tell me."

Kitsuki hesitated. "Very well. They dismembered and disemboweled him before burning him alive. She's very glad he died screaming."

"Maybe it makes me a bad person, but it's what he deserved." Auslin didn't have it in him to feel bad when he had such terrible experiences with Mitsuki. "He didn't deserve any mercy when he showed none to anyone."

"That was Kizoshi's philosophy as well. While I had no desire to become king, him being dethroned was the best thing that could have happened to Valzerna. We would not have a kingdom if his reign had been long."

"I told you that you'd make an amazing king." Auslin finally dared to let his finger drift down to where Kitsuki's arm had been cut above the elbow. He kept his touch light, almost as if he was afraid that he would somehow hurt Kitsuki's arm, which had been healed for centuries.

"Okay, I think I'm ready to try."

Auslin closed his eyes, then reached out with his aura to wrap it around Kitsuki's. Their auras slowly merged, allowing Auslin to begin healing Kitsuki. Unlike the other times Auslin had healed damage from Divine weapons, nothing responded to his powers. Auslin used more strength, but it made him realize something was missing. At first, he attributed it to the intervening years, but his instincts told him that wasn't it.

Stretching his senses out as Jaega had taught him, Auslin didn't know what he was searching for, but he sought what was missing. He furrowed his eyebrows as he continued reaching out, hoping to find anything.

Kitsuki smoothed away the wrinkle of Auslin's brow. "You can stop. It is enough for me you tried."

When Auslin was about to give up, he experienced a weird niggling sensation, almost as if his claiming mark was fluttering lightly under his skin. Unsure of what was trying to gain his attention, Auslin refocused his energy, then brought his free hand up to touch the silver lines on his neck, marking him as Kitsuki's intended. A rippling wave shuddered through his claiming mark, sending a shiver through the human.

Auslin covered the mark with his hand, doing his best to reach out to whatever was summoning him.